some call me lazy?

Michelle - posted on 02/04/2010 ( 110 moms have responded )

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some people around me call me lazy because i dont leave my house alot...first off i am a single mother to a 10month old who's father is trash an wants nothing to do with her so it's only me who has her 24/7... im 26 i cant be running around late at nite or goin to clubs when ever i feel like! or b/c i have alot of dirty close well ok ummm i was close every other week when i have the FUNDS...i dont have Xtra money anymore...i dont understand it i am with my kid raising her by myself NO HEP! but soon day care! i gotta clean up every day all day long! an chase after a baby every day all day long!... of course im tired a freaken 8pm ...so does that make me LAZY?

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Ashleigh - posted on 02/07/2010

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you are not lazy. taking care of a baby is alot of work especially if you are doing it your own, you have every right to be tired. whoever is calling you lazy probably doesnt have any responsibilities.

Ashley - posted on 02/04/2010

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i don't think so. you are just a homebody. i do the same. but it is important that you do go out at the least once a month so that you can have time to yourself. you will lose your self if you don't!!!!

Carolee - posted on 02/04/2010

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It's almost always people without children of their own or people with freakishly high energy levels that call other moms lazy. Don't listen to them. You do not have to meet anybody else's standards but your own! You are taking care of your child, and that is a hard task to do, especially when you're doing it by yourself. Good job! And, if you need rest, REST!!! Just because other people don't understand what it's like in your home doesn't mean it's wrong... it just means that those who call you lazy don't know what it's like in your house. You're doing great.

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Jasmine - posted on 02/11/2010

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I guess that makes me Lazy too :/ but I'm with Mary Renee, how are you supporting you and your child? That could be a reason they are calling you lazy...

Kari - posted on 02/11/2010

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As long as your a good mom to your baby I wouldn't worry about it. When my baby was born until she was 8 months old I was by myself my husband was deployed and I had to do everything by myself. I know how you feel and I was anemic(still am) and it's hard running after a baby and picking up after them and so on. My daughter goes to bed between 7 and 8 and I go to bed not long after that! Your not lazy if your in bed at 8 your gonna get a good rest to make sure your the best mom you can be for the next day!

Sabrina - posted on 02/11/2010

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I dont think your lazy i think your a MOM! & it sounds like a good mom at that!! Your child should be your number 1 priority! I have a friend that is 23 (same age as me) & she has a 3 1/2 yr old daughter. She leaves her daughter with her mom most weeknights & finds other people to take her daughter for the weekends & stuff. I think it's sad, she's always more worried about finding somewhere for her daughter to go as opposed to spending time with her daughter. I think it's really sad when women do this.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :)

Mikayla - posted on 02/11/2010

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i dont stay at home much, but only coz i like to get out, i start to feel down if i stay in all day, but anything i do do is baby led, and i am usually in bed only an hour or so after my son as im so tired, and he still has me up in the night sometimes. but you have it harder as you are a single mum, your baby comes 1st and you do what ever it is that u need to to make sure this happens, but you do need to also make time for yourslef too. im sure this will get easier as your baby gets older too.

sometimes i feel lazy as i just cant be botherd somedays, nothing gets done around the house and i havent dont much with my son tht day, but thts fine too, u cant push yourslef to hard.

Amber - posted on 02/11/2010

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You are not lazy. Some people don't understand or don't get the concept that when you have kids they come first. Keep doing what you are doing because that's the right thing and it will make you a better mother for it. Sure it would be nice to go out once in a while but, real life doesn't revolve around it so keep your head up and be strong because you know what you have to do and what truly matters most

Erica - posted on 02/11/2010

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No your not lazy...and for what it's worth I'm very proud of you! I know a lot of Mom's that don't take being a mother as their first priority. Being a mom can be very tiring but very rewarding. It is definitly worth it. When you become a mother going out clubbing and to bars needs to end. Time to make new friends with the same interests as you and that are at the same place in there life. It will all work out. Put your faith in God and I promise it will. Good luck!

Quianna - posted on 02/11/2010

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Well if that's what people are calling lazy these days- I must be lazy too! Raising a child by myself, working, house chores, getting her to daycare, trying to secure a comfortable future for the two of us- if that's considered lazy- then welcome to the LAZY CLUB! lol. People are so quick judge and make silly comments like that when they have no idea how much we do in a single day!

Quianna - posted on 02/11/2010

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Well if that's what people are calling lazy these days- I must be lazy too! Raising a child by myself, working, house chores, getting her to daycare, trying to secure a comfortable future for the two of us- if that's considered lazy- then welcome to the LAZY CLUB! lol. People are so quick judge and make silly comments like that when they have no idea how much we do in a single day!

Amber - posted on 02/10/2010

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NO WAY! You are not lazy! Tell anyone who says that to mind their own business.

Samantha - posted on 02/10/2010

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that most def doesnt make u lazy...i am married, but am basically raisin my son by myself bc my husband works 12hr shifts and is either working or sleeping bc he works nites......but i just recenty got a job, but i used to just sit around all day, taking care of him and doing online classes....i felt a little lazy, but once i looke at the big picture, i was cooking, cleaning, doing school, and taking care of my son.....

Sheila - posted on 02/10/2010

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hell no you are definetly not lazy we dont leave the house for long periods of time either who ever told you that should walk in your shoes for a week and see if they wont pass out for being exhosted

Cinda - posted on 02/10/2010

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Absolutely not. It's called responsibility, and some people just don't respond well to their friends having it. My brother in law is the same way about my husband, and he calls William(my husband's son) a little fun sucker. Some people just don't understand. Don't you worry about them, girl. They don't know anything.

Mary Renee - posted on 02/10/2010

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You're not lazy because you don't go out at night, you're a mom. Who would watch the baby if the dad is trash?

I can sympathize with you though. My boyfriend calls me lazy even though I'm a full time college student, editor of the school newspaper, and six and a half months pregnant just because I had to quit my cocktailing job because I couldn't carry that stupid tray anymore with my gigantic belly!

One thing you might want to do is leave your house with your baby. At 10 months she doesn't have to be concerned about germs the way a newborn is. Take her on walks, point out the bird, flowers, cars, building, everything! Look for a local park. I realize depending where you live it's probably cold right now but there are tons of free things to do inside. Take her to check out children's books at a library. Narrate everything that you're doing with her outloud. At ten months your baby is learning a lot about language even if she's not speaking. She learning the cadence of your voice and your words and your sentence. It's tempting to stay inside all day and there are always chore but try to find an hour or so a day where you can take her outside to experience new sights.

Also, will you start working when your daughter goes to daycare? I'm just wondering how you're supporting her and yourself when the father is "trash" and uninvolved.

Tiffany - posted on 02/10/2010

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oh it doesn't make you lazy at all! You are now in the most active profession their is! Motherhood is not easy. I am a stay at home mother of 2 girls 3 and 4 yrs old. They have soooo much energy and I have sooo little! I am always behind on laundry and house work! It is a neverending job! If the house is clean for more than 5 hrs it's b/c we are not home! LOL!

Jade - posted on 02/10/2010

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it doesnt make you lazy...but u should find ways to incorporate exercise into your day...go for a walk with your baby..it will do wonders for your mental health to get out of the house..

[deleted account]

No ofcourse that doesn't make you lazy. As twenty-somethings, we feel pressured to live the lifestyle everyone else has but what we need to realize is that everyone's lives are different and everyone has different circumstances that come with it. We're mothers now and partying, drinking and other "childish" things must be left behind now. We're full-blown grownups with big responcibilities to our children. Some mom's do go out and have fun and that's great, however many don't and that's cool too. If you like spending time with your child and you're both building a strong bond, than who cares what anyone else thinks?

Heather - posted on 02/10/2010

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No, that does not make you lazy! To me, that sounds like you are trying to do the best to take care of your child! I also sit at home all day, I don't work, my fiance works though, and I dont wash clothes much either! I sometimes feel useless but I know I am not.

[deleted account]

Anyone who calls you Lazy obviously does not have children, I think it is physically impossible to be Lazy and take care of a child :) Dont let what anyone says get to you, just do the best you can do with what you've got and you'll do fine !

Brittney - posted on 02/10/2010

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Absolutly NOT...you do what you gotta do to take care of your child that does NOT make you lazy....

Aretha - posted on 02/10/2010

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No it sure does not and any one who calls you that well they don't know what it is like. Let me tell you I have been there I have two little girls and I hardly leave my house and after running after them all day on top of cleaning and cooking all day you don't feel like going no where.You are doing a good job and don't let no one put you down because you are staying home and taking care of your baby.

Beth - posted on 02/10/2010

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I think that going out at night has nothing to do with it. Its about how much you take your child out for different experiences. I raised my daughter on my own and no it isn't easy but its what you have to do. Of course you are tired early no one that hasn't done it or that has done it with help has NO idea! Just do what you know is right and ignore the rest!

Ash - posted on 02/10/2010

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Who calls you lazy? You hoochie mama friends that want you to go out clubbing with them? Those are NOT the kinf of friends you need girl.. Tell them to eff off, you have a NEW life now, let them continue to be sluts and pick up guys every weekend.. You're obviously tired after a day of being a MOM and the last thing you need is to go out and try to look good when you're missing your babe and all you want to do is sleep..

Kerry - posted on 02/10/2010

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it doesnt make u lazy at all tell them where 2 get off. i am not even single and i dont go out much i dont go drinking i prefer 2 stay in and look after my 9 month old. if i go out any where dylan comes with me. it sounds like u r doing an excellent job keep it up.

Leesa - posted on 02/10/2010

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Lol lazy?? ummmm no thats called being a mom. People who dont have kids cant understand what it is like to have little to know money in this economy and to have a child that you are raising by yourself. I totally understand where you are comming from and i give you big props. You are doing for you and your daughter. So what if the house is messy, as long as you keep getting money from working or unemployment or the Social Security and you spend time with your daughter you are a number one mom in my book. keep up the good work. if i can help you with any ideas on how to get help with food, baby cloths toys or other things let me know i have been there too.

Melissa - posted on 02/10/2010

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Your not being lazy! its just you being a parent.It is a alot of responsiblities to rasie a kid. I know how you feel.my boyfriend is the lazy one. he dosnt help me with our daughter.I hate it. I never go out like to clubs anymore. having kids changes everything.I know what your going through.I've been called lazed too but i am not.I am with my daughter 24/7.Your just being a good mom to your daughter. just keep doing what your doing and dont listen to what other people has to say. but you do need time to your self. Your a good mom. keep it up. think good thoughts and you will get through it. do it for your daughter and stay strong!!

Rebecca - posted on 02/10/2010

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Not lazy at all - people who say that must not have kids, or if they do, they must have a lot of support. Good on you for being realistic about what you can take on, and for putting your child first.

Katie - posted on 02/10/2010

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I look at it one major way.. Do you take care of yourself and your child? Then you know that taking care of a child is a full time job in it's self!! People tell me to leave my house all the time you need to get out more, you really should get out more.. I take care of my family, food, clothes, doctors, my school work and that is a tiny part of my life.. So I am doing my main job, so leave me the hell alone!! You think my house is a mess you come and clean it, if not SHUT UP!! I always tell people sorry if the house is a mess BUT I have A life!!

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

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Michelle, you are not lazy at all. Being a mom is exhausting. And to go any where you have to pack up what feels like the whole house. It takes FOREVER to get ready and get out and then it hardly seems worth it. I am however, concerned about you socially. Do you have any friends in your area? I may be wrong but from your post you seem kind of isolated. Are there any Mommy and me groups/classes? Maybe there us a tumble tots or something at the YMCA that you can do with your daugther. Meeting other mom's with children your age will be great for you. They will understand what your going through and may be able to give you some advice. At the least they will be there you let you know that what you are going through is normal. I think you should try to get out every once it awhile. The more you do it the easier it gets. When I had my first child I didn't go any where for over 6 months, then I started slowly. Now, 2 yrs and one more child later, I'm out of the house most days. Remember, you are not lazy. Do what is comfortable for you and what you can handle.

Trish - posted on 02/09/2010

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Huni, you are not lazy just coz you dont leave the house often! I dont go out much n Im in bed early too, my girl is nearly 3 and my son is 17 months and Im 4 months preggers..Im only 25 and I havent been to a pub or club in ages. Honestly its not easy, and I totally understand that. If ppl wanna judge you then they just gotta look at ur girl and see the love she gets :)

Tonya - posted on 02/09/2010

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keep puttibg that baby first an tell everyone else to get over themselves! If they think they can do better tell them to come to your home for a day and give you a much needed break and see how they do:P

Amber - posted on 02/09/2010

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Hon, you are not lazy, this is just being a mom. I know what you mean with staying home with the kids. I have 2 kids that are 3 and 16 months. I stay home with them all day and go to school mon-thursday night. I know how you feel with being tired. I get home at 10:30 every night and am exhausted and on the weekend when i don't have school i am ready to go to bed by 8 also. Just keep doing what you are doing and being the best mom for you kid. Enjoy the time being with them because they grow up to fast. You are doing a great job.

Anne-Marie - posted on 02/09/2010

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no it doesnt make you lazy. some people dont understand what it is like to have a young baby and to be by youself with no help. just ignore the comments your are gettin or if they keep doing it tell them they can stay with your baby and clean your house all day and then they probably wont ay it again.

Alishia - posted on 02/09/2010

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You are by no means lazy... You have made your main priority you baby, and by doing so, only makes you a better mom... I am 22 raising 3 kids (4,6,7) while my husband (26) works night shifts... I am a stay-at-home momma... The youngest is mine, and the older two are my stepchildren we have custody of... They are in Preschool, kindergarten and first grades... I understand being tired by 8 am and not leaving the house... My husband sleeps during the day, so I don't get to get out much either... I don't have any friends, the kids are with me 24/7... I never ask for a sitter...



You are doing the right thing... Don't let or allow others to drag you down, that is all they are trying to do.... With you being a homebody (as I am too) it will tend to have people talk more about you, because they don't know anything you are doing behind your walls and are trying to find ways to get a rouse out of you....



Keep doing a great job!!!! Keep your chin up, your baby needs you... Wish you all the luck!

[deleted account]

no! you are doing the right thing by taking care of your responsibilities before you go out and have fun. I have 4 kids and i don't get out often, not because I'm lazy but because I'm busy! And when i'm done everything that i have to do in a day I just want to sit down and for it to be quite. It's called putting your kid first and being a good mom. Keep up the good work!

Rhian - posted on 02/09/2010

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Your not lazy That is some1 who sits on there arse all day doing nothing. You spend all day looking after your baby on your own and your home. I have a 7 month old and have been known to be in bed asleep by 9 at night and up again at 6 in the morning wiv him. When u have a baby u dont have the money to go out all the time. People that say ur lazy tend to have lots of people running around after them doin lots for them. As long as u think ur a good mummy forget what every1 else says.xxx

Jessica - posted on 02/09/2010

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SIMPLE ANSWER....NOPE! you are a mom and I am 29 mother of 2 and I feel ya! We do go out every weekend and "party" per say but we go to our cousins house! cheaper than going out and we can take the kids with us!! HUN u are NOT lazy!! UR A MOMMY!!

Allie - posted on 02/09/2010

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Heck no! Being a mother is extremely tiresome and hard on the bank, its also very rewarding. If your friends think you're lazy for being a responsible adult and mother then they're crazy. There is just one other thing... you do need some time for yourself, whether that means you spend your money on going to a club (which wouldn't be my first choice, I'd rather get a massage) or getting a manicure you do need a break. Staying inside by yourself (with your) isn't healthy for you. If mom's not healthy how healthy can your child be?

Whitney - posted on 02/09/2010

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I dont think you are lazy. You need to do what is right for you and no one else can tell you what that is. Dont listen to what other people say and keep it up. Its not easy.

Catherine - posted on 02/09/2010

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NO !!! don't you listen to them i'm a 26 yr old mother of 3 . a 6 year old with ADHD , a 4 year old with ADHD and a 1 year old. My mother and hole family tells me the same thing just because i'm not out running the streets and doing drungs like my sister and she has 2 kids. i was married to my oldest 2's dad and one day he decided he didnt want to be a dad anymore so he killed his self , my youngest dad works all day and is tired at night so i know what you are going through.I do it by myself also . Tell everyone they can kiss your a** because you are not lazzy. it is very hard to raise kids and keep the house spotless. The most important thing is that baby and if you dont have to put her in daycare dont trust me i missed out on so much with my 2 oldest and you cant ever get that back. i just thank god i can stay home now.

Shalaina - posted on 02/09/2010

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Any parent that spends their time watching their kid 24/7; chasing after them, playing with them, etc. is not lazy!

Shantice - posted on 02/09/2010

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You're not lazy. I completely understand your situation but even still, if you don't wanna leave out, you don't have to. I hate going out. I hate being in large crowds. i don't like clubs, I don't hang out with groups of people either. The only time I leave my house is to go to the drs. for either myself or kid and to the market. And money has nothing to do with it either. I even work at home..I simply don't like going out. I've been this way for as long as I could remember too. as a child, I would prefer my friends to come to my house thn to go outside, that's just me. I'm not afraid of anything, I'mjust a laidback person in my opinion.

Meggan - posted on 02/09/2010

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I understand completely and the answer is NO. I have a 17 month old and he keeps me busy enough where plenty of thing don't get done. You deserve to be able to relax as well once your child is asleep and by that I'm not saying going out. I would try and ignore the ignorant people I'm sure your doing a great job with your child and the other things just don't really matter when it all comes down to it. Good luck!

Zoe - posted on 02/09/2010

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NO it does not mean u r lazy, i'm was in the same situation with my son, and no-one understood so dont worry about it no-one unerstands what its like to be a single mum apart from other single mums, i thank god i have my second childs dad around at weekends but i still have to cope through the week on my own. just ignore people who call you lazy, good luck x

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2010

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I know what you mean! I have 10month old twins and a 7yr old, and I am all alone! It's extremly hard to get anything done. I feel like all I do is change diapers, feed, and clean. When I do have the opportunity to go out I am so exhausted I just stay home. Oh and taking them anywhere, forget it! I use to think carrying two infant seats everywhere was hard but now that they are out of them things are much harder. I just assume stay home. The only time I leave the house is for appointments or to go to the grocery store. When I just had my daughter I use to take her to the mall and walk around with her just for something to do when it was cold outside but she was more content. My son Noah and my daughter Leah are more active and like to get down and check every single thing out now that they are mobile. Don't worry about what people say. Nobody really knows how hard it is unless they are going through the same thing. People tell me I should go back and finish school and I thought about it many times. There is no way right now! I don't get but maybe 20 minutes a day to just chill! It's almost impossible right now, but I know it won't always be this difficult. Just enjoy your baby while you can cause before you know it she will be starting school and you'll miss these days, trust me. Sometimes you just got to take a breathe and make the best out of your current situation. Your fortunate that you get to stay home with her. When my first was born I had to go back to work right away and I missed everything. I have been able to stay home since I had the twins but it's been so crazy that time has flown by. I am just now learning how to not worry if the house is a little messy so that I can spend more time just enjoying them! Being a single mom is never easy but they do grow up and as they do the things that seemed so difficult aren't and you have new challenges. They are so worth it though!:)

Laura - posted on 02/09/2010

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im similar to yourself, im 28 and have 3 kids ranging from 11 to 10 weeks, im originally from scotland but live in Dublin with my kids father, even though hes around i do EVERYTHING and i mean everything its like being a single parent, i dont go out i hace only 1 real friend and am very lazy and wont go out and make new friends...also money is tight so cant really afford to go out either...exactly the same as you at 8pm when the baby is going to sleep im ready for bed too (much to my fellas frustration IYKWIM) so in answer to your uestion you are defo not lazy your perfectly normal.
p.s my laundry basket is overflowing constantly!

Luschka - posted on 02/09/2010

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I agree with everyone above, but I think you should try to leave the house once a day at least. I try to go for a walk, or go to the park, or even just to do grocery shopping, and sometimes to the free playgroups in the area. I think it's really important for your little one to have the additional exposure to the outside world. It helps them become more confident and my LO always sleeps really well when we come back in from even a little walk.

Ashley - posted on 02/09/2010

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dont worry im 21 with a 3month old i stay home every day because my friends seem to think im no longer interesting because i have a baby they dont understand we cant do all the things they can we have bed times to consider and feeding times aswell to work around even with the father to help we still cant go out becauser men are clueless and the baby generall wants mummy in the first year, so my life consists of staying at home wearing js all day because its compfy and my daughter is only goingf to spew on them anyway.

Amanda - posted on 02/08/2010

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You are the complete opposite of lazy!! I am right there with you, its really tough and wears you down when you are doing it all yourself! I think once you become a mom, most moms atleast, realize that their life is no longer theirs and they take on the responsibilities they know they need to do for their child. That being said, when you are focused on taking care of your daughter rather than yourself, the fact that you are not selfish, also makes you not a lazy person.

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