Sometimes my 4 year old daughter gets so out of control I don't know what to do! She'll scream and cry and throw a fit and nothing I do seems to calm her down. She is so stubborn and one track minded and I'm going crazy! Any suggestions?

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Emma - posted on 04/04/2009

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Hi my daughter is exactly the same and she is now 8. Although outbursts have reduced rapidly.

I just ignore her outburst and put her in her room until she has thought things through in her own mind!

I also try and not to go on about it by having a little chat and then straight onto the next subject!

Em x

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Angela - posted on 03/06/2012

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I know your pain. My 2 yr old constantly throws tantrums at home, out in public and I don't know what to do. I too try ignorning her and going about my business, but that doesn't seem to help any. She gets to the point of throwing herself on the floor, kick, scream, pull her hair, bite herself and even throw her shoes or anything else she can get her hands on. She is very stubborn. I guess it's just a phase that kids go through? I have yet to find a way to make this better. It's good to know that others are experiencing the same with their toddlers. I continue to read any/all posts I can find regarding this topic in hopes of trying different things that might just help. Until then...

Victoria - posted on 03/04/2012

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you need to put your foot down. Look her in the eye and tell her firmly, without screaming , that she is going to time out, or what ever temporary punishment you have. Then when it's done. Tell her why she was there, tell her to apologize. This will show her that it is not except able: good luck:)...

♥ the babysitter

Kimberly - posted on 03/04/2012

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well i have a four year old daughter and she has been having tantrums since she was about 15 months old. we have seen her doctor more times than i can count. when she goes into a meltdown it is the most scary thing i have ever seen. and we have tryed ignoring her but it becomes so out of control that i end up retraining her. she will pull her hair out and bite herself kick scream so loud that i think my eardrums are gonna bust. so we video taped it the last time and we took it to the doctor. this time when he saw it he said its time to look at other things. so as of right now she is being tested for toddler adhd among other things. and i most def. agree with the lady who wrote a bout diet... i keep her off all surgar and additives foods. also no dairy!!!! and for the most part it has helped some but i will tell you it is tough...so my suggestion to you is to watch your daughter and right down when she has them and what starts it. for my daughter it could be something as simple as sweetie could you help mommy pick up your toys lol!!!! best of luck to you...

Rebecca - posted on 04/04/2009

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My daughter is 5and a half now and occasionally I still get the tantrum. It's hard not to throw one in response to her. yelling and screaming doesn't help, taking her toys away just makes her louder, if i smack her, she smacks me back. it got to the point where all i could do was ignore her and the tantrums got less and less over a few months. now they are few and far between and don't last nearly as long.

i think you just need to ignore it as much as you can and try to keep her in her room (or out of harms way at least, sometimes when they throw themselves around i'm sure they're going to do some damage!) and when she calms down enough for you to talk to her, ask her if she knows why she got so upset and cuddle her for calming down. tell her that good girls get cuddles and naughty noisey girls don't. Mine didn't like that and started being good real quick.

hope this helps a little for you.

Reanne - posted on 04/04/2009

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I have learnt that with some children it is a phase but with others it is an attention seeking problem that if is not delt with will not go away; and with other children there can be an underlying problem such as an illness or a poor diet some children react with bad behavior to some additives in certain foods.
I feel if your child is doing these things there is a reason for it and i dont believe that it is a phase. Not everything a child does is natural and a phase and i resent so many mothers and docters who say oh its ok its just a phase he/she will grow out of it my son who is three is a very angry and sometimes violent child at the moment but i looked into the causes and found out that its a combination of things in his diet as well as some of his medications he has to have to help him with his asthma.
We are now going through the process of trying other methods for his asthma to eliminate the need for some of his medications he also has been put into daycare two days per week and been put with a particular teacher within a normal room with normal kids and she works wonders with him. We have also started to apply some things we have seen the supernanny uses with great success.

Anyway thats just my opinion and others have other opinions which probly work for them as all children are differant and all parents are differant but i hope this has helped you if help was what you were after

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2009

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My son acted the same way when he turned 3. I would literally walk right over him and ignore it. He only threw a few fits before he got the point. He is now 5 and he hasn't thrown any fits since. They do it for attention, and when they learn that they are not going to get that attention they will stop.

Louise - posted on 04/04/2009

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my 4 yr old daughter is excatly the same its like 2 yr old tantrums all over again and when she starts i tell her to go to her bedroom as i dont want to see her it works great and when she starts i tell her bed she soon stops and smiles instead

Jennie - posted on 04/04/2009

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I was having BIG problems with tantrums as well, and I find placing my daughter in the corner and explaining to her that the longer she throws the tantrum the longer she stays in the corner, and when she is standing quietly I will let her out, stops a tantrum mighty fast!



 

User - posted on 04/04/2009

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Yeah my daughter, when she was that age used to throw herself on the ground and bang her head on the tile floor if she didn't get her way.  I thought something was wrong with her, but her Dr. said to ignore her when she was throwing a tantrum.  I began ignoring her, I would clean up the kitchen, or find something else to do and busy myself, after a few times, she realized she wasn't getting my attention, so she stopped with the tantrums.

Rachelle - posted on 04/04/2009

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I agree with Michelle!   Ignoring the bad behavior and rewarding the good is best way (in my experience) to have kids behave well regularly.  A doc friend of mine simply tells his son to go to another room and come back when he's ready to speak/behave in a friendly manner. 



Negative reinforcement, no matter how well intended, is not the way to go with such behavior.  They learn to act out anytime they want attention.  Isn't better to pay attention to a well-behaved child??  Just my thoughts...  =)

Christine - posted on 04/04/2009

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Thats my 4 year old too. He throws ridiculous tantrums. To the point where his chin starts to quiver. He doesnt want you to touch him, but he doesnt want you to leave to room either. I brought it to the attention of his pediatrician, thinking maybe theres more to it... a touch of ADHD, or Autism. But, she said its a phase and if you give them the same consequences each time, they will eventually grow out of it. I have noticed it slow down a lot in the past 4 months. Best of luck.

Michelle - posted on 04/04/2009

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My 2yr old is very stroppy aswell and when shes in a mood it takes a long time for her to come round, I have 2 older children 4 & 5 and didnt have this with them & I do understand as I find it very frustrating I have now just got to the point where I ignore it and when she's ready to come round I sit her on my knee give her a cuddle and talk to her calmly. I have found the more u fuss the worse they become.. go make ur self a coffee and when shes ready she'll come to u. I hope u find a way thats works for both good luck

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