son wanting to play with baby dolls

Ashley - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 98 moms have responded )

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My son is 3 almost 4 and he is like a typical boy he loves all boy stuff but he loves baby dolls to or stuffed animals he just told me he didnt want this dinosaur thing for christmas he wants a new baby doll.. I have never bought him one before but my mom did at a good will one time at he loves it but other people think he's being weird his uncles, great grandfather and dad they all said they never wanted to even play with dolls now my twin 2 yr olds (boys) are doind the same thing copying big brother I dont know if I should feed in to it and get him a new baby for christmas or not what do u think? has any one dealt with this before? he cried so hard tonight at walmart b/c he wanted "baby alive" it was not a typical fit either it was heart broken tears but being it was so close to christmas i told him no we will have to wait and see what santa brings

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Meagan - posted on 12/19/2009

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what a good boy! babies are a real part of adult life men could use more training in. toys with guns and huge muscles arent exactly a realistic role models for growing up. if your son has had baby brothers of course u taught him to love and nurture babies. good for him i think the whole family could take a hint from little man! he will be a great daddy one day. its not like hes asking for princess dress up shoes and makeup... DO NOT suppress a sweet little boy!

Tiera - posted on 12/19/2009

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Kids like to imitate their parents. He sees you taking care of children, so he wants to too. I wouldn't worry about it. He is learning how to be a good parent when he is an adult. Maybe if more men played with dolls as children, more of them would be better fathers. If it truly bothers the men in his life, maybe you could find him a boy geared doll like the "My Buddy's" they had when I was little. There was "My Buddy" for boys and "Kid Sister" for girls. We don't keep girls from playing with cars and building blocks, so why should we keep boys from playing with dolls?

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my Mr3 has one of my old baby dolls and he loves her! this came about as i saw him with one at my friends place and he so loved playing mum and so i asked if he wanted me to find one of my old dolls and he said yes. so now he has her!i feel it is good for them. that way they wont think that mums have to do all the work! : )

Danelle - posted on 12/19/2009

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Before my son was even born, my mom went out and bought him a baby doll. Yes, we knew he was gonna be a he, not a she. Letting a boy play with a baby doll makes them a better man in the future. He will be more sensitive and in touch with his feelings. In other words, a lover not a fighter. Just don't discourage him from doing so. Everything will be okay. Also, my grandma has told me that she had a baby doll for my uncle when he was little. He is fine, married and has 3 kids of his own. So, don't worry about him wanting a doll.

Sarah - posted on 12/19/2009

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My son is 4 years old and sometimes he plays with my 3 yearold daughters barbies and dolls. I don't think it is weird. My daughter plays with his toys too. Maybe your son just wants to be like you. He probably sees everything your doing and wants to do it to. To me it seems like he's just being curious.

Kassie - posted on 12/19/2009

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If you had a girl who like to play with "boy" toys and do "boy" things would you or anyone else be concerned? Probably not. It sounds like that your son is a "typical" boy and does "typical" things with the exception of playing with dolls, which is probably more common than most people realize. So I wouldn't be worried about it this point. All kids do "weird" things, it's all a part of growing up.

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My 3 yr old has a baby elmo and he loves his baby! He's also gotten baby dolls from the dollar store. I don't see anything wrong with it and frankly would LOVE to encourage my boys to key in to their maternal side!!! Dad has to take care of his kids why can't kids mimic their "manly" fathers who have to take care of children too? Rediculous!

Aimee - posted on 12/19/2009

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I have 2 sons, one is 11 and the other is just bout to turn 4. My eldest is the most caring boy, he is polite, well mannered, and so caring towards females ( fights with his sister a bit lol).. My 4 year old is the same, and both played with dolls!! We bought a doll for my 4yr old (a boy doll) and he loves it! his sister is nearly 2 and she loves playing with dolls with him! His dad wasnt very happy about it but because it was a boy doll he was a little better about it... Do whatever u think is best and makes ur kids happy!

Amaka - posted on 12/19/2009

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Thank you very much 4 askin this question,i thought my 31/2 year baby was doing something wrong, when he fights 4 his sister's doll...lol

Melissa - posted on 12/19/2009

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I wouldnt worry about it. I just bought my daughter some tonka trucks yesterday, and she is getting a radio control truck from Santa and hockey gear. If uts what they like, and keeps them happt, then I dont see any harm in it =)

Jessica - posted on 12/19/2009

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I see no problem with this. At this young age they do not associate dolls with that only girls should play with them. If you point out that he shouldn't like them that will only cause harm in the long run. There is nothing wrong with playing with something that is supposed to be a "girl" toy. Many doctors will tell you it is perfectly normal and that if you make a big deal out of it, that is where you cause the most harm. Hope that helps...good luck!

Gina - posted on 12/19/2009

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President Harry Truman has been known to say, "The best advice you can offer your children is to find out what they want to do and then advise them to do it..." Don't try to direct your children's likes and dislikes ~ they are not for YOU to choose ... Your role is to ensure your children have access to positive, healthy and progressive information so THEY can choose what THEY LIKE or don't like ... It is not a decision for you, your husband, brothers, fathers or grandfathers to make for your children ... Choose your battles wisely ~ when you tell a child they cannot do something, their natural inclination is to WANT to do it EVEN MORE ... Go with the flow ~ It's All Good ...

Meghan - posted on 12/19/2009

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My son is three and has 2 baby dolls that my husband and I purchased for him. I believe he is just modeling our behaviour. He says that he wants to be a Daddy or Mommy. I would take it as a compliment. The world needs more active fathers. I think that by letting boys play with baby dolls, you are putting them on a path to some day being a great father of their own children. It also helps them understand how to treat babies and the responsiblities of taking care of babies. Since you have younger children, he has probably watched you take care of them and wants to be like you. You can also order My Buddy dolls online. They are baby dolls made for boys. They look less girly (no pink dresses or hair bows etc) I would support and encourage whatever he loves to do.

Laura - posted on 12/19/2009

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I'd say get him his doll....he sounds a total sweetie!! At their age all they know is what they find fun, not whats boys and whats girls.....so if he loves playing at caring and helping then i say let him! Don't worry so much honestly, they go through so many phases it's untrue! x

Kelly - posted on 12/19/2009

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my son loves dolls as well....i say get him it! wouldn't it teach them to nuture and care for others....it will teach him to be a good father :)

Tracee - posted on 12/18/2009

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My four year old is doing the same thing.I have three boys ages 4, 2 going on three, and 1. My four year old takes his stuffed animals and pretends that they are his babies. We have no dolls so he wraps the stuffed animals up and feeds them, puts them to bed, and changes them with pretend stuff. This is the age where kids are role playing and experimenting their worlds through pretend play. Often when children are at a daycare they will play in the dramatic area with the dolls and purses and all of that. Try not to make him feel bad for wanting to play with dolls; you don't want to shame him.Let your husband know that he just wants to role play. If it is a major concern for you and your family, maybe he can be distracted by other role play items, like dress up outfits of community helpers or a grocery cart with pretend food. making a big deal out of it may not be what is best for him. Again, I understand that you have some concerns but ultimately you never want a child to feel ashamed of his interests. Ask him why he wants a baby alive. He may tell you he wants to pretend to be just like his daddy. Even if you get him a doll, it may help him be more gentle and nurturing, and let's face it, we need more fathers in the world with a nurturing side. I have worked in childcare centers for years and the majority of the boys played with dolls at one point or another. They are not thinking gender they are thinking toys.

Mary - posted on 12/18/2009

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My son is 4 and plays with dolls and his sister's play kitchen...he used to wear his sisters' dress up clothes but has stopped doing that...I see no harm. What's the worst that will happen, he'll be a good nurturing father and husband one day (not saying that boys who don't won't grow up to be nurturing dads)? Boys in dad's, grandpa's, and uncle's generations were shamed out of the desire to play with "girl toys" for the most part (or they just don't remember or want to admit they played with or wanted to play with dolls)...my brother is 25 and I can distinctly remember him having a Cabbage Patch doll...it was a brown haired boy...and also playing "Bambi" with his dinosaurs LOL! He will grow out of it when he starts thinking girls and girl stuff is "icky" LOL

FayAnne - posted on 12/18/2009

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My son loves to play with baby dolls and the baby strollers. I don't see a problem with it at all. I just wish they didn't make all the doll accessories like strollers in pink or purple lol. experts say boys who play with baby dolls turn out to be great fathers!!!

Tiffany - posted on 12/18/2009

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I say give him his Christmas doll. His desire to play with dolls is perfectly normal. To me there are no girl toys or boy toys, there are just toys. I allow my daughter to play with cars, trucks, dirt, etc. My son will be no different.

Lisa - posted on 12/18/2009

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Hes 3! let him go my husband had a doll when he was that age and now are daughter plays with it! hes fine hes still a toddler

Corinna - posted on 12/18/2009

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My son is almost 6 and he asked for a boy doll for christmas. He plays with dolls at daycare and when he is with his cousins. I think it is normal for boys to play with dolls. It is no different than if a girl wants to play with trucks with most of them do at some point.

Fawn - posted on 12/18/2009

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I have two boys 4 and 2 and my 4 year old did some dressing up using his older sisters stuff when he was younger and so does my 2 year now i will go into their bedroom and see him in high heels and everything its so funny and he loves " i mean really loves" his stuffed animals his bed is filled with them and he has to have all of them to go to sleep, he calls them his buddies. I think its just a stage and they all grow out of it but just take lots of pictures to show off at graduation time lol its great, I also have a 17 year old step son who is graduating this year and its great to have pics like that to put into his scrap book for everyone including all of his friends to see!

Melissa - posted on 12/18/2009

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I see no problem with him having a doll. Toys are toys and i think that its normal especially when they spend so much time with mommy. My son likes all toys and colors, trucks and dolls, blue and pink, sometimes when i put my hair in a ponytail he wants one too, lol. I see nothing wrong with it.

Amanda - posted on 12/18/2009

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Don't worry, my son is 4 and he plays with dolls at daycare and makes up voices for them and helps the sitter entertain the baby by putting on what he calls puppet shows.

Ralene - posted on 12/18/2009

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An interesting question... If you had a daughter and she asked for tools and toy trucks, would that be okay? I have to say as a new mom to a son, I really wish these things went both ways! If it's okay for girls to play with "boy toys", shouldn't it be okay for boys to play with "girl toys"? Aren't we teaching positive nurturing skills by letting little boys have baby dolls? Why is that so weird?

Becky - posted on 12/18/2009

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No need to worry that your son wants to play with dolls. Like everyone has said, it's the other people being stereotypical about it. When I was a toddler all I want to do was watch wrestling and play softball and run around with my little sluggers hat on backwards and just a diaper on, and now I am all about make-up and all girly! :) As long as he is happy, that is all that matters! FYI: GI Joes are still dolls!

Jessica - posted on 12/18/2009

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My boy LOVES to play with dolls, it doesn't faze me at all! Every guy has a feminine side and they all get in touch with it sooner or later. And surely it doesn't really matter what he plays with as long as he is happy, healthy, loved and safe? IMO the males (you have only mentioned males) against his playing with dolls need to look into their feminine side. Sometimes an aversion or being uncomfortable with this sort of thing can mean an insecurity in themselves. Maybe they need to be more comfortable with themselves and who they are before you should expect them understanding your son's love of doll's. ANYWAY, like I said, it doesn't matter what other's think if your son is happy, healthy, loved and safe!

Kharli - posted on 12/18/2009

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This is awesome! I absolutely believe that it is ingrained social behaviour that boys play with trucks and girls play with dolls. It is totally archaic and not natural. It is wonderful that you are allowing/encouraging your son to be a sensitive caregiver and raising him in modern society, not a 1950's society. My son (9 months at the moment) has dolls and if that is what he ends up preferring to play with, then his father and I will be fine with that. I just recieved a book (i haven't the chance to read yet) called "pink brain, blue brain" by Lise Eliot phd. You might want to check it out.

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My daughter wants to be a truck driver and a soldier when she grows up and it seems like I am constantly telling people to leave her alone when they see something "wrong" with that. She just wants to be like her Daddy after all... She still plays dress up, etc. but she is exploring gender bending territory, as she should be at this stage of developement.

So my honest opinion? I would get him the baby doll. It's beneficial to him in alot of ways: 1) He is playing pretend wich is important to children at his developmental stage, 2) he is learning to care and nuture and most likely to practice his empathy skills, 3) He is immitating what he sees around him (i.e. parenting) which is an important way for him to learn. In most PreSchool settings for example, little boys play with dolls, animals, kitchen sets, etc. just like little girls do...and it's encouraged. Plus, you wouldn't want your son to grow up thinking that there is something "wrong" with him because he loves his doll....

If the men in the family have a problem with it, have your child's Dr. and/or a PreSchool teacher explain to them that it is normal and beneficial to your child. Do some research, get some professionals to back you up and sit down with Dad, Grandpa, etc. when your son is not around and explain to them that it is normal, he will out grow it, etc. Don't let society's backwards standards make your child unhappy.

La - posted on 12/18/2009

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There is definitely a double standard as far as what girls and boys are allowed to do without being looked at as weird. Girls can wear boys clothes, play with boy toys, partake in boy activities, but boys cannot do any of the above. We are still a largely patriarchal society and although it is now okay for men to cry it is still not comfortable for people to see a feminine man. It's sad that society still places emphasis on gender roles.

Rhonda - posted on 12/18/2009

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My 2 year old got a stoller and doll for his birthday. At first I thought it was a little strange, but being that he played with his sisters all of the time I got used to it. He changes it and even uses his own wipes on it. I think it has nothing to do with machoism or even turning out to be gay. It is a normal thing and like others have said they will be daddy's some day...If he asked Santa for it be sure Santa gets it, but if it is going to cause problems with the hubby maybe steer clear as to not fight over the little things.

Catlin - posted on 12/18/2009

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I think that it's awesome!! Your son's are showing you that they are caring and nurturing!! I just bought fabric to make my 5 year old son a sling to "wear" his stuffed bear in. Why? because i wear him 4 1/2 month old sister in a sling. Your oldest watched you care for, nurture, rock, comfort, etc. your twins. He's showing you that he wants to be like you. it's very sweet.

In my opinion, society is still very sexist on little boys. Little girls get told they can do/be whatever they want, and boy still get told to act in a stereotypical roll. Kudos to you. Do what you feel is right and remember you boy's are learning how to be as grown ups from you

La - posted on 12/18/2009

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When my mother worked into a kindergarten class, there was one boy who was princess Jasmine for Halloween :)

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lol...that is soo funny. I laughed the first time my son played with one of his sisters dolls or little ponies from mcdonalds happy meal. My son is two. He doesnt play with it like that but hes played with it a couple times but not in a girly way..haha..but he likes cars and balls and stuff or hand held games.

MELISSA - posted on 12/16/2009

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ITS NORMAL.I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE FREAK OUT IF A BOY PLAYS WITH DOLLS.BUT DONT CARE IF THERE DAUGHTERS PLAY SPORTS. IT'S MORE STERIO TYPE THING .MY SON PLAYS WITH HIS SISTERS DOLL HOUSE IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT...

Kirsty - posted on 12/16/2009

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my mum always told me if my son ever wanted to play with dolls or prams i should let him.you could do more damage keepin him from them. he will grow out of it, i mean hes only 4. my cousin grew up dressing up as disney princsess until he was about 6 or 7 and it did him no harm. dnt worry bout it. and with the little twins its normal for them to copy big brother its wat they do.

Tamika - posted on 12/16/2009

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My oldest son now 8 went through a baby doll phase, he only had one though. It was so cute, cuz he would make the crying sound and then pick the doll up and rock till it stopped crying and he would tuck it in bed and feed it. It is just a phase. My 2 year old is starting the baby phase but he uses his stuffed cat. Beleive it or not they are copying what you do for them. Your son knows when he cries mommy hugs him so he does the same for his baby. What he uses as a baby varies from boy to boy i guess. I will be honest though, I have never heard of boys wanting actual baby dolls. My question to you is are you worried about him being gay, or is that what you husband is worried about?

Cherie - posted on 12/16/2009

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My nephew is almost 4, and he is all boy. He plays with boy toys, loves sports, and he plays with baby dolls. I think there is nothing at all wrong with it! He says he is their "Pa"(his father isn't in the picture, Pa is his grandpa). He will play with them, put them down and play with his trucks. I think it would be mean to tell him he can't play with baby dolls because he is a boy. And when I was living close to my family, and over there a lot, he would see me breastfeed my son and he would hold his babydolls up to his chest and say he was feeding them! It was adorable. So my personal opinion is there is nothing at all wrong with it, and it sounds like you have a sweet, sensitive little boy!

Medic - posted on 12/16/2009

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my 3 year old is about as boy as it gets....but all of his little friends are girls...(im the only one with a boy) and he plays dress up and kitchen and house and everything with them i think its a good way for him to figure out his roll in the world and to be comfy with himself..he has asked for a doll and he has a little boy doll and he wants a play kitchen which is ok....growing up my brother and i all shared both the 'boy' and 'girl' toys and let me tell you my brothers can cook and clean with the best of them and they are very caring and all that stuff people say make men less but i would let your son do what makes him happy you dont want to teach him to be ashamed of anything and wanting to love on and care for something isnt something to be condemned

Katy - posted on 12/16/2009

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It is perfectly normal, my son who is now 7 will still play with dolls, he plays with his dinosaurs, power rangers, football and all his other boy toys too. Needless to say my husband was not happy about it, but i told him there is nothing wrong with it. I think it is awesome that he plays with dolls, I personally believe it helps them grow up to become a great parent. I think every boy goes through that stage, I know my husband did ;) his mother told me so.

Kelsey - posted on 12/16/2009

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I think its just fine. Get him a boy cabbage patch kid if it makes you feel better. Let him be himself. Its a normal at that age anyway. Even if he did turn out gay, which Im not saying is going to happen, nomatter how you felt about it, you wouldnt make him feel bad for being himself. BTW back then when they were little boys, the world was very different, there probobly wasnt any dolls around to play with anyways, and if there were, they were so anti-gay back then their dad probobly said things to make them think being masculine would make their dad proud, and anything feminine was frowned upon by their dad. It was a very different world back then. They couldnt remember being 2-3 anyways! :P

Jennifer - posted on 12/16/2009

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I work in the church nursery and, trust me, the boys play with the dolls more than the girls. They sometimes spend the whole hour fussing over their babies and walking them around the room in strollers. It's just like playing daddy for them...I mean I'm sure their dad's took care of them, why shouldn't they practice being dad's like girl's practice being moms? Just makes sense to me.

Lydia - posted on 12/15/2009

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If he wants to play with dolls then he wants to play with dolls. It doesnt have to mean anything more than that. But even if it did I doubt making him play with other toys he doesnt want to play with would change that.

Pamela - posted on 12/15/2009

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Men are funny, they get so paranoid. Tell the men in the family not to worry, I do childcare and your son's interest are normal. Children play and act out what they see at home and going on in the world around them. Girls play with dolls and house practicing for the future and boys should be able to do the same. After all we want boys to be successful fathers when they grow up, mention that to all the male family members.
Best of Luck

Jen - posted on 12/15/2009

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It's normal for boys to want to play with dolls at this age. It's a great way for them to pretend play. I wouldn't worry about it. My neighbor had one boy cabbage patch that he played with until he was about 7. He also played with GI Joes and trucks and liked to melt our barbie dolls (with a magnifying glass) for fun when he got a little older. I say let your son play with his doll.

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no no big deal i dont think. my 2 yr old just started showing interest in real babies and baby dolls.. it is cute, they learn it from mommy.. i think its ok if they play with them here and there

Jodi - posted on 12/15/2009

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I've done in-home daycare and let me tell you. ALL boys will play with dolls at some point! I see no problem with it! I've seen boys who were very aggressive turn completely around with the help of dolls! One day, most of these boys will be dads and just like little girls they need practice too! If it were me, I would encourage it! With a doll you could teach him to take care of the doll the same way he takes care of himself ei washing, eating, brushing teeth, enhancing his knowledge of his own self care. You can teach him to treat other people, esp. babies nice and with gentle touches. It's a great way to reinforce body parts and encourage your child to be tender and caring instead of aggressive. I would get him a doll and ignore what all the naysayers think! Girls can play with trucks and toy guns...why can't a little boy let out his own nurturing tendancies with a doll? Good luck!!

Ashley - posted on 12/15/2009

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My son is 2 and he loves to play mummy... mostly feeding and changing his stuffed animals as he doesn't have a doll. however if he asked for one I wouldn't be concerned as he does love his boy stuff too. My b/f had a cabbage patch doll when he was a young boy too and I don't think anyone thought it weird. I find it horrible that some people assume that playing with dolls or other girly things as a child is "weird or not normal" No one would ever tell a girl she couldn't play with some thing that seems ungirly. I say get your son the doll he wants and be grateful you have a such a caring son who will likely grow up to be a good provider for his children.

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