spanking study

Jenni - posted on 03/11/2012

Jennifer: "Often times I woudl see one of these other mom's dealing with a kid who is wailing or whining and crying because they want something they can't have. Listening to this all through the store and looking down at my daughter who is now perfectly happy without that toy, candy, cereal, etc was proof enough to me that I took the right route."



How can you tell by looking at a kid (or their behaviour) whether or not their parents spanked them?



See I would assume; the child's parents were permissive, or the child is use to getting their way, the child is spoiled or even that the child may suffer a disability.



Whether the child is spanked or not, wouldn't cross my mind. As there are plenty of parents who spank who still give in to their child's every whim and vice versa.



My children don't flip out over not having something in the store because quite simply, I don't buy them things they ask for. They are also not the ones you see pitching a fit because I've always removed them from the store when they were younger and prone to tantrums.



I'll give them choices between two items so they can help with the shopping. But they don't get to pick and choose on their own. They also don't get toys or candy while we're out. Those are reserved for special occasions. When we grocery shop, we are there to do one thing... get groceries. My children know what behaviour is expected of them before we even enter the grocery store. I have them recite our 3 rules. Disobeying our rules results in removal from the store. Which I've only actually had to do 3-4 times (around the 2 year old phase) and I have 3 children.

Jennifer - posted on 03/10/2012

I have 3 girls that have all at times been spanked. It is not the only form of discipline that I use, but sometimes it is what is called for. Every child is different, and one of my girls have received much more spankings then the others. This is not because she is naughtier then the other two, but because time outs didn't work. She, like I was as a child, could happily sit or stand on a time out and dream away, nothing learned there. That said, it is important to note that there is a huge differenc ebetween a spanking and a beating. If I am angry then I make sure I take a deep breath or two too calm back down. I don't want to spank my child because I am angry, but because it is necessary. Many a time i would get glares from other mother's at the grocery store when one of the children would start to act up. I would kneel down and tell them that if they did not stop then I would have to take them out to the car and spank them. Problem solved and over and only had to be followed up once, but they knew I would do it if they didn't calm back down. The rest of the shopping trip was just fine. Often times I woudl see one of these other mom's dealing with a kid who is wailing or whining and crying because they want something they can't have. Listening to this all through the store and looking down at my daughter who is now perfectly happy without that toy, candy, cereal, etc was proof enough to me that I took the right route. Now that my twins are 9 and youngest is 8 it is rare that I have to give a swat on the butt, though still times that I will bring it up. They are very loving, compassionate children and I am happy that I can take them anywhere with me and know that they will be polite and well behaved and will settle back down if they get too lively.

Julianne - posted on 03/04/2012

Jovanna, Any of the harmful things parents do with their children i do not do. I taught my child how to self sooth by being there for her when she needed me. I breastfed them, and I believe in natural duration so I don't ween they just do it themselves. Sippy cups are just a money racket.

I also taught my daughter not to run in front of cars and she knows to stay away from the stove because I used positive reinforcement and positive forms of discipline. My daughter is also pretty strong willed so I just make sure I always show her respect when trying to get positive results out of her and she is very understanding and respectable back. I don't enforce or dictate so she doesn't need to rebel and I don't need to break her to do as she is told. Bottom line is I don't tell her what to do, I ask her and she just does because positive discipline and mutual respect works. Apparently she should be a terrible handful though, she is only 2.

Kristal - posted on 03/04/2012

Also for my 12 year old we use reawards of more video game time and having friends over for good behavior and grades..

Kristal - posted on 03/04/2012

Hi christina, Im a mother of 3 wonderful children and im a pro- spanker.. I think every parent should choose what works for them and their family.. I dont think giving ur child a swat on the backside is bad at all.. One mother on here said that being consitent is the best and that parents that say they spank only when everything else fails are being non-consistent. I complety agree that being consisitent is the key but I am one of those parents that spank when all else has failed and when they do something that calls for a spanking.. My kids know if they continue a behavior and when they do certain behaviors they will get a spanking that is a constant in our home..My older son is 12 and my daughter is 10 I dont spank either of them anymore because I dont have to they have learned from past spankings and teaching what is expected of them and now if I take away video games or privileges that works.. My 4 year old on the other hand gets a swat when he needs it we only have to say now "do u need a spanking" and he wil stop the behavior immediatley.. When we spank its always with an explanation and a talk with the child and a hug...My kids neither fear me or feeling abused..

Love ur children do what works for u and ur family:))

Jovanna - posted on 02/27/2012

Julianne, so you wouldn't give your child a binky to self soothe? Even tho most articles, books, and doctors tell you that a pacifier can help prevent SIDS? Hmmm....

Or would you give your child a bottle eventho you know you are gonna have to ween the child off the bottle eventually and switch to a sippy cup, then have to do the same thing with the sippy cup? Strange, huh how we do all these harmful things to our children.

Discipline comes in many different ways. I love my little boy and I do everything I can to keep him out of harm and to behave. He's not the kind of little boy that responds to a sweet oh no sweetie you can't do that. Ya right! Every now and then he does need a swat on the bottom. I'd rather risk the consequences of a spanking than him pulling a pot of boiling water on himself or running in the parking lot and getting hit by a car. My child will not be one of those kids who are screaming in Walmart at their parents because they can't get the toy they want or running around in the store and destroying everything. Sorry, I would much rather have a simple time out or explaining what is wrong work with my son but he is a pretty strong willed child and just goes too far sometimes. That doesn't mean I abuse my son. That's just ridiculous!

Emily - posted on 02/27/2012

I don't believe that spanking when the occasion calls for it is abuse. I'd rather have my child feel the sting of my hand then get burned by the oven, or run out in the road. But every child is different and some children don't need it. There are studies out there that show that a smack on the hand or butt in the serious occasion teaches children that there are very bad consequences for very bad actions. I don't have to spank my child very often she's two now and has already learned that if I have to walk over to her to get her to stop what she's doing that it's serious enough to stop, on occasion though, she does still do whatever it is she's doing like try to touch knives if she can reach them cuz it's shiny, which causes me to have to smack her hand to keep her away from it. Lately, she's been pushing the limit on all the small things though and I've been wondering how to handle that since I dont think she should be spanked for running in the house too much, or for throwing her toys around when she's playing, even though she knows she's not supposed to do those things. She's also been telling me no every time I tell her or ask her to do something, I try telling her she doesn't tell mommy no, in a serious voice and if she still tries it i do a little pop on her mouth not even hard enough to hurt just enough to get her attention, but even lately that's not working.



I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you can avoid spanking then you should especially if your child is growing up successfully without it, but that spanking when the occasion calls for it isn't a bad way to go as long as you don't do it when you're mad, or you don't do it to excess and hurt your child.

Toni - posted on 02/27/2012

Not smacking does not equal not disciplining! My children have never been smacked and are constantly complimented on their behaviour because I discipline them with respect! They are respectful and loving and follow the house rules, which both I and my husband also follow...so no hitting in my house actually means no hitting not no hitting unless your an adult!



I do not believe anyone who claims they tried everything before smacking, at least own your decisions to hit your children!

Jodi - posted on 02/26/2012

Actually Lindsay, the OP was asking what we all think, and opened it up for debate. No one has attacked any posters directly, they have questioned certain generalisations. If you choose to take it personally, well, that's your issue.

Lindsay - posted on 02/26/2012

Unfortunately I responded to this post before realizing what COM has become. I thought we were here to state our opinions to the person who made the post. Not to attack fellow posters. I am a way too busy mom of three to stoop to the level that some do on this website. If the creator of COM is out there, reading these posts, all I can say is WTF?

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 02/26/2012

So to get a kid to stop hitting, you, the adult and role model, should hit them?

Candice - posted on 02/26/2012

Oh wow.. Where to start? Kids will be kids.. spanking works for some and not for others. I think that everyone has a right to their own opinions and beliefs, but if you don't want to be judged then you shouldn't judge others.. I personally always said I hated getting spanked when I was a kid and would never spank my kids when I had them.. Then I grew up and seen exactly why my parents did what they did.. I wasn't spanked for little things and I wasn't abused.. I do spank my children, when they do something over and over and time-out and taking things from don't work then I will spank them.. I don't spank them hard and its probably only about once a year.. I don't leave marks and I don't abuse them.. my kids know why they are being spanked and they know that I love them.. I have seen people abuse their children and I have reported abuse of a child.. I am not anti-spanking.. but I am against abuse... I have meet parents that don't spank their kids and I see these parents struggling with 2 and 3 years old hitting and kicking and biting their parents and they will just tell them to stop and of course they don't.. All I can think (to myself because it is none of my business) is that that kid just needs one good ass whoppin and he/she will straighten up real quick.. but of course thats just my opinion.. my children are very well behaved.. they are now 7 and 11 and they fight like brothers and sisters are suppose to.. they talk back at times and have to be told more than once to do something.. have occasional trouble at school and at home.. so as for kids that are spanked are perfect and those who are not are horrible.. that is rediculous.. it is how you discipline your child and what works for him/her and being consistant with them.. I personally won't tolerate ANYONE telling me how to raise my children and wouldn't tell them.

Dominique D. - posted on 02/26/2012

I am all for spanking. I am as well a first time mom. My mom spanked me and my sibs. and we turned out just fine. no crimnals, no one blowing up schools etc. I have had some type of discpline in my house whole since my son was about 3mths. not spanking but letting him cry his way through his problem making him fall alseep with out rocking him letting him know that momma want hold you all your life. and want put up with you crying for no reason as well. My son started doing so much so fast teething at 2mths crawling at 3mths taking sitting up by himselves at 4mths taking steps at 9 mths walking at 10 mnths responing to convo at 11mnths etc so discpline had to change a little for me he is smart and knows his limitaton and will try you if he let so yes he get spanked on the leg or his butt his dad never likes it but he sees how Izayah will push him so he kinda understand more now. I say if your child is not bursed then it is not abuse

Jodi - posted on 02/26/2012

I find this extremely hypocritical, that mothers who support spanking can talk about how not spanking is lazy, and means you are not disciplining your kids, and yet you all say "waa waa waa, don't judge me because I spank". MOST of the judgement I have seen in this thread is judgement by mothers who support spanking saying how undisciplined other kids are and how lazy their parents are. Who is pushing whose judgement on whom?

Lindsay - posted on 02/26/2012

I have two sisters, both very much older than me. They both had kids at the same time. My one sister is against spanking, forcing manners, and was a very "modern" mother. Her son has been expelled from school and is constantly getting into trouble, as he does not respect authority. My other sister did exactly what MY parents did - picked her battles, allowed the child to express their personality to a degree, but as soon as they stepped over the boundaries that she had set, they were disciplined, usually with a spanking. Her daughter is now an honor student and extremely respectful, but still has a very unique personality.



So anyone who says that spanking in a disciplinary method - and this is explaining WHY you are spanking not just hitting your child - is ineffective and has a negative affect on children, well I guess we can just wait and see how they turn out. And maybe instead of pushing your judgment on others through YOUR beliefs and opinions, just state facts for both sides.

Caitlyn - posted on 02/26/2012

I think it is a personal choice to spank your child. I spank my children because I have tried everything and nothing seems to get through to them. Spanking is my last resort though. I also think that if you DON'T spank your child, you shouldn't tell me how to parent. If you are against it, then that's great but I'm not like you. So don't stuff your rules down my throat.

Jodi - posted on 02/26/2012

"most parents who dont believe in smacking are also too lazy to disapline in other ways, because they dont know what else to do."



Oh yeah, sweeping statements like that are laughable, and really make your position on this topic weak. Please, if you are going to make a statement like that, back it up with proof. Which you can't, because that is just an insulting generalisation that has absolutely no place in a discussion such as this.

Laura - posted on 02/25/2012

i believe in giving your child a smack WHEN NEEDED! a tap on the hand or a smack on the bum IS NOT going to scar them, i would know because i was smack, and i am NOT SCARRED!! people who sit there and say it is child abuse are just arrogent. i agree with you Christina Osborn and am all for other ways of disapline, but sometimes a smack is what is needed. I have known parents agaisnt smacking, and let me just say that i would never take their child out in public if you payed me. disrespectful, rude little shits is the nicest way to put it. I do not believe that there is a fine line between child abuse and smacking, simply because beating your child over the head, or continuous smacking of a child is child abuse, but a simple, one open hand smack to the backside is not. most parents who dont believe in smacking are also too lazy to disapline in other ways, because they dont know what else to do. one parent said to me once, "i dont disapline bad behaviour, but reward good behaviour". are you serious lady???? i know her kid, and if she doesnt believe in violence, then please tell me how come he is the bully at his school and is the one pushing and punching others? if her kid grows up and murders someone, (and i say this because, he is not being shown right from wrong, and has no idea of boundries) is she going to stand up in court and say "oh , but he ate all his breakfast this morning, so lets give him a sticker for that!" grow a brain people, and wake up to yourselves! there is a reason that child crime is on the rise, and to all those parents who then sit back and say where did i go wrong...this is where you went wrong.

Jodi - posted on 02/14/2012

The biggest rule of parenting is TO BE CONSISTENT!! So when you are saying "I only hit my children once in awhile when the time calls for it" ...you are not doing anything good for them. You are stopping the situation, and not treating the cause. Spoiled brats are not children who have never been spanked.. .they are products of the parenting they receive!!! So why are you punishing them for something you helped create???



I've said it many times and I will say it again... spanking is an adult temper tantrum!!! You do not know how to verbalize your feelings so you retaliate on your children to take out your frustration, much like children do when they cannot express their feelings. It may stop them for the time being... but it is not correcting the behaviour... simply stopping the symptom.



I have a 2.5 year old boy and an 11 year old sister who has been living with us for almost 2 years. They have never, and will never be spanked, and I cannot tell you how many times I've been told they are wonderful children. I take pride in this because I take the time to use behaviour modification techniques with them, and use natural consequences when behaviour mod just doesn't work. I take the time to explain to them and have them explain to me why their actions aren't ok.



I'm sorry but I could not sleep at night knowing I hurt my children or made my children fearful of me.As a parent it goes against everything I believe in about nurturing and protecting my children.



One more thing.. for everyone saying that "those techniques just don't work with my children..."... I call your bluff. I work in group homes with some extremely high risk children. Children who have been through the ringer and have the worst behaviour you could imagine. If these techniques (eventually) work for them, they will work for your children. Take the time and try it out.

September - posted on 02/13/2012

We don't spank, will never spank and have one of the most amazing 3 year olds I've ever meet! He's well rounded, loving and respectful. I totally disagree that a child has to be spanked in order to avoid being arrogant and disrespectful. IMO, in most cases its lack of parenting where the issue lies. It’s not the fact that the parent chooses not to spank. Lack of parenting creates the brat; the child is not born a brat! I would support spanking being outlawed and personally, I think it's a great idea!

Jenny - posted on 02/13/2012

When I was at my dad's house, I was in the shower and my 27 month old daughter got into my dads gum, she had seen him chewing it all the time (He always has gum in his mouth) and I guess she wanted to try it out. I don't want her chewing gum until she understands to not swallow it and that it is sticky and can get caught in her hair etc. and he had tried everything to get her to spit it out, he said he was 1 step away from spanking her ( I am a non spanking parent and he tries to respect that as my parents spanked us) I came over, asked what was going on, he told me, I went over to my daughter got to her eye level and told her to spit it out that she wasn't old enough to chew it yet. She said "I like it, and grandpa does it" I told her in a firm voice no and i said if you don't spit it out she can go to the corner for 2 minutes... she looked at me and grabbed my hand and spat it out. My dad was blown away, here he was for 15 minutes trying everything and all I did was use a firm voice and it worked. He afterwords told me he thought I had been crazy to choose a non-spanking parenting style, but he saw that I was doing great and that he will never question my parenting again. You do not need to hit to have your child respect you or listen to you, you just have to be consistent. There are days where my daughter is in the corner ever hour for something, and others where just a warning is enough but I am consistent with her and she knows if she does something wrong, there will be consequences.

Amanda - posted on 02/12/2012

One day I was at the park with my 2 munchkins and a mother wa having an argument with her maybe 8 yr old son. She told him to stop effing speaking to me like that or I'll give you a effinging good beating, his response I dare you you effing bitch whore, I'll kick you in you effing tits.



I packed up my kids and left, but these are the sorts of parents that are bringing up the sorts of kids you are referring to

Amanda - posted on 02/11/2012

I don't think the lack of spanking a child leads to rude disrespectful brats, I think it's down to the parents who have let these kids get away with behaving like that and not taken steps to effectively discipline unruly behaviour as young children.



I don't spank my children, I use other forms of discipline such as time outs, taking toys away, early bedtimes, diverting their frustrations to others things they are allowed to do, along with an explanation as to why their behaviour is unacceptable.

They know their limits, they use their manners because I have taught them and made sure they say please and thank you.

I will not put up with rudeness or aggressive behaviour and they know that because I have set the rules that they are to follow.



My kids are praised if they have done something good, they are n ot spoilt and at ages 2 and 3 are happy, confident, respectful kids for the most part because that is how I am raising them

Julianne - posted on 02/11/2012

I wouldn't give a child something to self sooth and then take it off of them when I felt they were too old. People know that if a child is given a binky, if they use it for too long it will damage their teeth. So I simply wouldn't give it to them in the first place.



Also, I believe in disciplining a child, but that means to teach, not punish. No child is bad, they just don't know any better .To punish someone for not knowing the difference doesn't help anything. It just teaches them they are bad. Children can be successfully taught how to behave without punishment, but through respect, education and love.



http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipl... This Dr, outlines plenty of ways to discipline without punishment. To teach without fear. I have yet to feel guilty over ways I teach my child to behave.

Christina - posted on 02/11/2012

Julianne, I just have one thing to say we had to break my 18 month old from binkies, cried for 2 days an 3 nights, I felt horrible but it was what was best for him, his teeth would have been ruined we hadnt. I shouldnt have broke him from that bad habit that have ruined his teeth because my guilt and his current discomfort????



I get it when it comes to some things but there are some situations when you need to ween or break your child of something and its hard but its in the best interest of a child.



There have also been times when disciplining my child I felt guilty I do my best to see where they are coming from, but that mean they should get away with bad behavior.

Julianne - posted on 02/11/2012

I 100% agree with that sara. We have instincts for a reason. If we feel bad about something, its because our instincts are telling us its wrong. I hate seeing parents describe things they do with their children to "break them" and go on about how bad they feel about it. Well if it makes you feel guilty, don't do it!

Sarah - posted on 02/11/2012

if you feel bad about giving your child a smack then thats alone is trlling you its wrong x

Sarah - posted on 02/10/2012

i only slap my oldest (she's 5) on the bottom or hand wen she really really needs it which is once in a blue moon, most of the other time i just have to talk to her bout wat she done wrong or the naughty step. i feel so bad afterwards tho :(

Julianne - posted on 02/10/2012

As noted in the article, 32 countries have bans on spanking. These include Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Bulgaria, Germany, Romania, Ukraine, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, Portugal, Israel, Iceland, New Zealand, Uruguay, Venezuela, Costa Rica, Kenya, and Tunisia. I could not find research to suggest that it has effected these countries in any negative way. In fact, the research in Sweden (the first country to ban it in the 70's) has pointed to the opposite.



As well, for those major countries with no bans, UNESCO, Save the Children, the Australian Psychological Association, Canadian Paediatric Society, the British Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and Royal College of Psychiatrists and the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Association of Social Workers all have stated that spanking has negative effects.

Julianne - posted on 02/10/2012

It is true that parents know what the best way to DISCIPLINE their children. However, when it infringes on the rights of the child, its gone too far. Spanking takes away a childs basic right to human decency. Those rights are protected for everyone else, even animals, yet not our smallest most precious members of society. It makes me sick. Even convicted rapists, child molesters and murders have the constitutional right to fair and just punishment, which excludes physical punishment of any sort. Yet children do not.

Whitney - posted on 02/10/2012

I REALY like how you said only a parent knows there kid well enough to know the best punishment. That is SO true. I do spank but only for some things and other things its time out or a talking to. My youngest is more sensitive then my older child so his disipline is different. Glad there is another parent who agrees with me about knowing your own child.

Jessica - posted on 02/09/2012

Spare the rod spoil the child.



I use discussions, timeouts, I ground toys, I send to bed early etc, and if nothing else works I'll give a swat. My children will respect me and all others. They will NOT be spoiled little brats who feel they can do/say whatever they want whenever they want. Period. I am the adult and they are my children. And if they are out of line I expect another adult to say something to them if needed. It takes a village to raise them.

Heather - posted on 02/09/2012

My mom rarely ever spanked, it really was her last resort. I think we each were only spanked once or twice, if that. She also "spanked" with a pat on the diapered bum or the hand, as the intent was not to hurt us but to shock us. She did it a lot less with my younger sibs than with us older ones, mostly because she had better, more effective methods of discipline. I do remember she used to spank a hand in response to a child doing something dangerous, like trying to reach up onto the stove, and it worked really well to remind us when to keep our hands off. I think the word spanking gets such varied responses because people see it differently. Standing in the corner is standing in the corner, but spanking can be a tap on the bum or a slap with a belt.

Julianne - posted on 02/09/2012

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipl...



Heres a great site for discipline and behavior modification, most people say spanking is a last resort. Well try all these techniques FIRST, then when they work you can put your last resort away, it wont be necessary.

Julianne - posted on 02/09/2012

People who think spanking is abuse will obviously not hit a child because they don't want to abuse children. Even if you do not physically hurt a child by hitting them(which is completely ridiculous, the entire act is to cause a physical reaction) you still have to consider the emotional damage, the humiliation, the degradation anyone would feel from being hit. Just because their body is not scared, doesn't mean they don't get emotional scars from it. Parents can NEVER say that their method of discipline does not affect their child in such a way, you cant see emotional scars.

Apryl - posted on 02/09/2012

In my experience people who call spanking abuse have infact never spanked a child. Now i am not naive and i am aware of the vast number of children who are abused daily but from a run of the mill spanking....no. I grew up on spankings with belts,hickorys and hands and u know what i learned. Now im not saying to use a belt or hickory i do not, but i have tried many different methods and my child just doesnt care; time out seems to give him time to plan out his next plan lol. Im not sure how others do it but i cannot believe a pop on a butt followed by an explanation of what they did is a harmful thing. It has worked for mine, it gets his attention. I baby sit other children and I have seen the difference in a child who has had their butt popped and a child whos biggest punishment is sitting in the corner, I have babsit some of biggest brats with mouths that constantly talk back,my son is not one of them. I think it works and i also have a thing called a brain and know how to not abuse my child just by giving a spanking, its not hard to know how to do it properly there is no need to injure ur child...

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2012

i have 3 sons aged 9,7and 2 and i dont use spanking as a punishment to me it shows from an early age its ok to hit people with a opened hand or not you got to teach your children how to compromise and learn to me that though talking and also practice watch you say for example you tell your child not to put there feet on the sofa but then you do ect time out is good they can reflect on there behavior. Thats just my op-ion which has worked for my family might not work for everyone but my childern have good manners but can mess around as u expect children to do sometimes but even my 2 year old knows please and thankyou .

Julianne - posted on 02/09/2012

Michele spanking your child with an open hand on the rear is ILLEGAL in 32 countries. Some even go so far as to say its sexual assault and you can be prosecuted for it in those countries. Its just not illegal in YOUR area.

Keli - posted on 02/08/2012

My son is to little too have crossed that bridge so i cant say if i will spank or not, I have had 2 spanks as a kid, didnt have a negative impact on me, i have a super close relationship with my parents,and i respect everyone around me, This may be off topic but when the strap was used in school back in the day, kids knew to behave if they didnt want the strap,Now days look at ho much Bullying and Sucides are going on, kids are running wild anymore. getting into alot of trouble at a young start. so unless kids arent understanding english (or whatever your language is) what else is there to do if you dont believe in spanking but you did your best to coach your kids by just going down to their level and speaking? I think there is a difference between Abuse and Spanking.

Michele - posted on 02/08/2012

Spanking your child with an open hand on the rear is not illegal. I beleive in spanking but only if it's the punishment fit for the crime.

Jenni - posted on 02/08/2012

I find it a bit sad that some parents believe the only way to discipline their child is by hitting them and that not hitting equals no discipline. Surely, we as adults are intelligent and resourceful enough to find ways to teach our children how to be functional, well-adjusted, respectful adults without hitting them every now and then to show 'em who's the boss. How does that even sound rational in the least bit? I hit my child to teach them to be respectful. What a backwards load of bull.



I've heard this same rant hundreds of times on COM. If we don't spank our kids it means we're letting them rule the roost, finger paint our walls, talk back and shoot us the finger behind our backs and run the house. That's called "no discipline" not to be confused with "no spanking".



32 other countries manage just fine. Some for over 60 years and do not suffer from the same sense of self-entitlement, crime, disrespect as children in the USA. Guess you'll have to look else where to find the reason for reeking sense of entitlement and arrogance in the US. Commercialism, maybe?



What methods do I use?



Natural consequences. A consequence which is directly linked to the behaviour in order to teach a lesson about the behaviour.



Natural rewards. Rewards that naturally come from good behaviour.

Julianne - posted on 02/08/2012

ITs lack of DISCIPLINE that makes unruly children. Discipline is achieved without punishment. You do not need to hit a kid to teach them. I personally would never spank my children. Its wrong, its abuse and its illegal in 32 countries for these exact reasons.

Amanda - posted on 02/08/2012

I am not against spanking my children, as long as they are old enough to know what the did wrong and I have told them more then once to stop doing what they were doing.. I have a 4yr old daughter and 13 month old son.. When I was a kid I got the belt... I mean I had to push really far to get it but I remember a couple times getting it.. I learned my lesson... My daughter is a very good child she knows she has to stop when the tone of my voice changes, my lil guy on the other hand he laughs at me and continues to touch.. He is young and I wouldn't spank him I do slap his hand, not hard by n e means but he usually stops touching it.. If you can't disiplne your children they will walk all over you. I have a good friend who has a son that almost 4 and he walks all over her, He has tried to walk over me at my house but no child gets special treatment at my house.. if your bad your get what my kids would get and he is an angel at my house because of it.. I donno these ppl that say it is child abuse need their heads checked... Some parents yes do go too far and actually end up hurting their children.. I know as a young mother of 2 that there is a voice in your head that tells you to stop.. that tell you to walk away, some ppl ignore it and makes every person out there that want to disapline their childen look like bad parents..