stay at home mom/ confused

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2010

As someone who has fought depression her entire life, I could have been reading about myself. When my depression is getting really bad I find myself getting extra snappy, wanting to go out, even making plans to go out, but I always cancel at the last minute with some excuse, but in reality, it's just easier to stay home. Also, turns out I have Post Partum OCD, I'm taking Zoloft which tackles the depression and the OCD. The symptoms of the OCD are not leaving your child (and feeling very anxious or sense of panic when you have to), having unusual and/or senseless fears (such as dropping baby down the stairs and watching her fall or dropping baby in the oven, watching baby drown in the tub, my big one was that I was positive the crib would start on fire if I put my daughter to sleep in it) And even though most women with OCD won't admit it, it's an extremely common symptom to have thoughts of harming your child, the thing that differentiates this from post part psychosis is that we are greatly disturbed by these thoughts, they come to us unwanted and horrify us! If this sounds like you in any way, please feel free to PM for more info or just to talk. It's something that's so not fun to go through and so easy to take care of! Best of luck!

Good Day! - posted on 01/16/2010

If your husband wants you to go out, then by all means take him up on that offer! It doesn't have to be long, just go meet a girlfriend for dinner for one hour. Then come home and love on that baby!

Jes - posted on 01/16/2010

thank you for all your advice ladies! A friend of mine showed my this circle of moms thing, i love it!!

Shannon - posted on 01/16/2010

you dont even have to go out invite a friend over for the day ask them to bring some stuff for lunch and you can both chill out in the comfort of your own home it has worked for me the last 3 weeks with my baby boy, i have been so bored and alone at home with my partner working so i have been inviting friends over to chill with me for the day!!! good luck xoxoxo

Michelle - posted on 01/16/2010

Ok. I'm a stay at home mom too.... I get so that I feel guilty when I go anywhere without my son, so I'm right there with you. I think that you probably do need to get out and be out with her as well as without her. I know that it's a pain to go out with little ones sometimes but getting out of the house always makes me feel so much better. I get snappy and pissy when I don't get out at least every other day, even if it's only to the grocery store or for a walk with my son. But you also need to make sure you get some real time for YOU too. That's the only way to stay sane!!! I don't know how long you've been a stay at home mom, but you can't keep up the pace of not caring about yourself for much longer. I finally broke and almost had a complete breakdown after about nine months. It's just too much if you don't take care of yourself mentally.

Kari - posted on 01/16/2010

Maybe try going out but with someone you know will help you with the baby without making you feel like a burden (like your sister or mom or husband). Make plans ahead of time so it really feels like a real outting, which will feel more fulfilling than a last minute. I understand wanting to be with your daughter all the time, I'm the same way with my son. There's nothing wrong with that at all, if you feel you don't require time away from her to maintain sanity, by all means take her with you. There may be a little depression there, but it's probably nothing more than being stir crazy. Just plan one night out once a week (or 10 days or 5 days or at whatever pace you feel comfortable with) to fulfill that void and don't stress too much about thinking you're depressed, odds are if you don't feel depressed, it's fixable.