stay at home moms. why is it looked at as a bad thing???

Rachael - posted on 05/12/2009 ( 100 moms have responded )

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I am 24 and have a 2month old girl. I am a stay at home mom, my hubby works. I am tired of hearing people say that if you can't support you kid with out the man then shouldn't have had one. If my hubby left me then yes i would have to move home with me mom. That would be only till I got on my feet again, like a job and a place to live. I like being a stay at home mom, I don't want to get a job so i can work to pay for day care.I don't need to pay some one else to raise my child, because i can stay home and do it my self. Don't get my wrong, I don't think that it is a bad thing to put your kid in daycare. I just like to say that just because i don't work dose not mean that my child doesn't get what she needs. I have a house and we have 3 cars and nothing is wrong with me staying home and him working

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Melinda - posted on 05/17/2009

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People allow their jeolousy come out in their coments sometimes. Take it for what it's worth and realize these people would LOVE to have your life. You are doing what is best for your family

Kylie - posted on 05/12/2009

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Who ever says that is a moron! You are doing the right thing staying home with your baby and shes only 2 months old! It 's a hard job being a stay at home Mum.. you don't get paid or get sick days or annual leave and your on call 24/7. There is no job more important either.

I'm proud to be a SAHM. I have not worked full time outside the home for over 4 years. No one makes me feel bad for relying on my husbands income to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. I work just as hard as him and our children reap the benefits of us working as a team. Be proud of the decision you have made stay at home and if anyone wants to have a go at you tell them to get stuffed they obviously are not too bright!. Many mums don't get the choice to be there 100% for their kids and are forced to work.

Jessica - posted on 05/15/2009

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Quoting Rachael:



Quoting Jamie:

I think if you are able to as a couple be able to have mom stay home and you want to stay home I dont see why you shouldnt. However, I do think you should be able to have something to stand on should your hubby leave, which no one plans on. But if your in a very secure relationship who cares. I honestly couldnt be a stay at home mom, but thats just me, I like to work, I like to have time away from my kids. I feel I enjoy them more that way, since Im not with them 24/7. One of my good friends is a stay at home mom and shes good at it. I think im a good mom, but Im always afraid I wouldnt be able to teach them everything they need to know, or do it in a fun enough way. But you shouldnt feel bad about being a stay at home mom. I might have something to say if you were 24, single and lived at home with your parents, but I think you are in a good postion to take the oppurtunity to stay home.





I know what you are saying about having something to stand on. But because i didn't go to college dose not mean that i don't have something to stand on i have a good work history.  I liked working it mad me feel like i was contributing to the house hold. If i could find a job working from home that is not a scame then i would do it in a heart beat. I am tired of asking my hubby if we have money so i can go get somting and so i get cash from him when he get paid but now i feel like i am a ateen again with am alounce, that is driving me crazy. I love staying home and will put my baby in preschool and will look for a job when i am done with having kids and they are all in school, but not now. like i said i wish i could sork from home and take over some fo the bills or at least have mony so we can do things with out haveing to budget it in.





Rachael,



I am a 26yo sahm and felt the same way. I love working, organizing, any physical labor...it drove me crazy to worry about money and feeling as though I didn't contribute anything to the household. My husband was working hard and stressing out over bills. I got fed up with it all, but we couldn't afford for me to go back to work. We would have to have a unstable household where both parents would be stressed out, the house would be a mess, our daughter would be raised with inconsitency. So, to keep stability in the house, for my daughter and my marriage, I stayed home. To keep my sanity and independence, I started taking over everything else. I do the finances, shopping, and the school planning (we both go to school on top of it all). My husband isn't as stressed out (which was leading to a divorce). Money is tight, but it's better than the alternative. My point, there are other ways to regain a feeling of equality. Unless you feel your marriage going south and see yourself having to do it on your own, do what works for you and your husband. A stable household is better than a finacially well off one and a independant mother.

Staci - posted on 05/13/2009

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I totally agree! And I'm tired of people saying that being a stay at home mom isn't work. HELLO we don't get a break...EVER because when they sleep we have to do household chores! People thing just because they go to a place other than their home and they get paid for what they do that is what a job is. Don't think so! My husband is really supportive and wants me to stay at home and it is hard for me to do that because he makes just enough money to support us but we both like that I'm the one with our son all day.

Alicia - posted on 05/13/2009

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Good question, I totally agree. I have been a stay at home mum for 4 years now and even though moneys has been very tite at times Its more of a life choice for me. The way I see it is My kids mean more to me than money. I grew up in a very poor home and that made no difference to who I am. I dont like mums being forced to go back to work it almost seems unatural and its the kids that miss out as well as the mum. I dont belive daycare is a bad thing infact I send my children for a few hours every week day just to learn how to interact with other children and make friends also they learn so much through prescool and my son who is now 4 is learning to write through the preschool.

Any one that has frowned at me about staying home with my kids have a selfish mentality.

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April - posted on 05/17/2009

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I completely agree. I'm a stay a home, as well. When I was a little girl my mom had to work, and I can remember wishing she could stay at home, but couldn't. So I want to give my son what I couldn't have. I also believe the first four years are so crucial, I want to make sure my son is on target as far as developmentally much as possible, and what better way than to teach him myself! Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having a career, or having to work. But there is a stereo type that we stay at homes are lazy and do whatever we want when we want. HA! I'm a house keeper, play mate,teacher, chef, doctor, nurse, event planner, gardener, and the list goes on and on. My days are by far easy and la di dah. I sometimes would like a part time job just to break the tedious days up, but alas I would be adding a PAYING job to my list of other jobs. This summer my son is going to go to pre school 2 days a week to get him socialized with other children he will be going to school with. Yes our family does sacrifice small things, like family vacations, new vehicles and a remodeled finished house, but he is by far more important than any of those things.

Kelly - posted on 05/17/2009

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There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I believe it is best for your children. Those who say foolish things as you have heard afre only jealous that they are not as fortunate.

Kimberly - posted on 05/17/2009

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I completely agree with you. My husband is in the Army and we are lucky enough to be able to afford for me to not have to work. I have come in contact with some other army wives who have said to that it is wrong that I dont work. they say that I am taking advantage of my husband!! who the heck are they to say anything ??!?!?!?! But I dont care my husband and I are both glad that I will be able to take care of son instead of sending him off to strangers at a daycare.

Catherine - posted on 05/17/2009

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Yay! Another stay at home mom! Isn't it awesome! I live with my fiance and my 11 month old son, and he says I don't need to go back to work till I'm ready because we don't need any extra money right now. I'm thinking about getting a part time job later (much later) and then going back to university when my son's in school... and yes that's 5 years away! I'm proud to be raising my baby at home. Picnics at the park, lunches with other mommy's and there babies... other's are just jealous of our fantastic lifestyle! Xoxox

Heather - posted on 05/17/2009

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I 100% agree with you...I quit my job to stay at home with my son as well. I don't see the point for me to leave him with someone else and work to pretty much only pay for day care, which is extremely expensive now-a-days. I love to say that I am a stay at home mom. Regardless what looks or comments I get. I am raising my son my self. And I am proud of that.

Wendy - posted on 05/17/2009

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I currently live at home with my mom, and I am 26. My daughter is now 25, her father and I split before we even knew she was comming. I envy you for being able to stay at home. Everytime I have to leave my dayghter at the sitters it hurts. I say if you and your hubby can afford it stay at home and enjoy being a mommy!

Aleeza - posted on 05/17/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

because some morons dont realise they being a mum is a job just not a paid one!


its paid alright, just with smiles and hugs:)

Jessi - posted on 05/17/2009

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I'm not a SAHM, because we seriously cannot afford that. And before I had my son I frowned upon stay at home moms, thinking that ot was just an excuse not to have to work. With that said, since I've had my son, I wish I could stay with him and not work. And he's the hardest and most challenging job I've ever had. He's also the most worth while and the pay is amazing (baby smiles!). I have a new found respect for all stay at home moms!

Rebekah - posted on 05/17/2009

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. Sometimes I think people say things because they are jealous - wishing deep inside they could stay at home with their kids. Then there are those women out there that want to work they really want that career - which is fine too. I stay at home because I truly believe this is where I should be. I want to be the one to raise my kid. I want to be a part of my child's life each day and not miss anything. I tried working but I couldn't stand being away from my child and missing out on so much. I want my child to see me as the role model and see me model God's love to him, so that he too can grow up to know God and love Him and serve Him too - my son won't learn that in daycare or from anyone else.

Ashley - posted on 05/17/2009

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girl i have the same situation. I have a 3 yr old soon to be 4 and i have been home with him since day 1. i know if i was to get a job it would only be enough to pay a sitter or daycare and id rather just be with him . i am moving into a house next mth my son has everything he could ever want and more lol so i feel ya completely

Liz - posted on 05/17/2009

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Sometimes i find it doesn't matter even if you only work part time people still make those comments. I am a nurse and only work 2 days a week (but have been on maternity leave for the last year and only worked agency when it suited) , but my husband has the kids in those 2 days as i don't really want to use day care, I also think i am lucky that i am not forced to work full time and can enjoy my childrens childhood. i think its great if a child has their parents around when they are young, they grow up so quick and its not long until they are at school

Dj - posted on 05/16/2009

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My husband and I did the math. It would cost us more money if I worked. Daycare is ridiculously priced. Besides that who is better to raise my babies than me? I have nothing against moms who do work either bc they want to or have to but I enjoy my children and find it sad when some moms can't wait to cart off their kids to daycare.

Lisa - posted on 05/16/2009

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You know what I really wouldn't worry about what people think! I too am a stay at home mom and my husband supports us. I am also going to nursing school. It's not because I don't want to work but its because we can afford it and I am taking the opportunity to be with my baby girl! And if someone doesn't like it then oh well...it's probably because they are jealous...too many bad things happen and I don't want my little girl who can't talk or defend herself in some else's care who I don't really know. It's no ones business so don't worry about it.

Leslie - posted on 05/16/2009

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I totally understand... I have two kids, 17 months and 2 months and I LOVE being a stay at home mom. My husband works full time and encouraged me to be home with our kids, its the best way to go I think if you can make it on one income.. money is super tight but if I worked, then I would be working to put them thru daycare, so whats the point? The first few years are the most important and I wouldn't want to miss anything! I will send the kids to preschool when its time, and will go back to work part-time to help with the expenses, but for now my kids need me home with them, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Being home is a hard job, and not everybody (especially working moms) can agree with that. I'm sure they think we sit around watching tv and eating bon bons, haaa.. life with two kids that are 15 months apart is hardly an easy life. I too struggle with moms that look down on me because I'm home, I think its just jealousy though... so, stay strong and know that you are doing the BEST thing for your kids =)

Alicia - posted on 05/16/2009

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I have just become lucky enough that I am able to stay at home with my three little ones all under three. I find it a blessing I mean you get to make sure they learn what you want for them and not have to worry. I mean I had to work in the start of the first two and finally now can be home all the time! So anyone who thinks that is bad makes no sense to me!

Lauren - posted on 05/16/2009

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"in 100 years it won't matter what kind of house you lived or what kind of car you drove, but it will matter how you raised your kids" NEVER let ANYONE make you feel bad for staying home and raising YOUR children! This idea of mothers having to work is just another aspect of the american mentality of "keeping up with the jones" I could go on forever but I am now 1 day past my due date w/ my 2nd and trying not to get myself worked up :-)

Eve - posted on 05/16/2009

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Rachael!

Being a mom is the hardest job you can have so there is no reason for you to feel bad as a stay at home mom. You were totally right when you said why pay to someone else to raise your child!? We are mom's for a reason and the reason is Being mom!

So enjoy the time with your little princess!

Mishael - posted on 05/16/2009

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Don't let anyone make you feel bad. I'm TOTALLY jealous! I'm a teacher and luckily we had our son in April so I had the first 6 weeks and the whole summer(a total of 5 months) off, but I so wish I could be at home with him. We just can't afford it. You are so lucky to get to see all of the firsts. I missed my son starting to crawl and his first steps. My Mom keeps him though so at least he's with family and not in daycare, I don't feel quite as guilty.

Tabitha - posted on 05/16/2009

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I agree i work but i'm glad to hear that you can be home with your girl. they trully do grow up way too fast.

Kristine - posted on 05/16/2009

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I have three children 7,5, and 3. I have only been a stay at home mom for the past year and I love it. I think the people who say that are the moms who aren't able to stay at home with their children for whatever reason. If my husband was to leave, then I will get a job, but for now, I will continue to stay at home with my children. It was my husbands idea for me to stay home because my children where being bounced from grandmas to grandmas and had no set discpiline guidelines or schedules and their behavior reflected that. It's gradually getting better and we plan to homeschool our children in the fall, which I could not do if I was working.

Amanda - posted on 05/16/2009

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I must say that at first I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I have always worked and didn't think i would be able to stay at home and not do anything. When I had to put my daughter in daycare at 6 weeks old it was the worst thing I ever had to do. I felt guilty that I couldn't stay with her. In december of 2008 I lost my job, right before my son was due in Feb. It has been the best thing in the world. I love being at home with my children, because I too don't feel like someone else should be seeing their milestones instead of me. It really has been the most rewarding experience. Anybody that says that being a stay at home mom is wrong needs to get a clue. I w3ouldn't change it for the world.

[deleted account]

I personally think if a mother can stay at home with their child for the first year then you should. During that time your child needs so many vaccines and their immnune system needs time to build up. Also, that is a very important time to bond with your child. I know I don't want other people raising my children that first year just to bring in an extra dollar, seeing as most of it would go to daycare charges. Everyone is different and has their own opinions, you just have to go with your gut instinct, how do you feel about the situation? If you're willing to give up a few things to give that extra love and comfort to your children then go for it, I know I did, and am about to again.

Danielle - posted on 05/16/2009

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I am currently a SAHM for my two boys, ages 2 and 3 (nearly 4). Right now that is fine, but to be honest, I am currently in school so that I can get a better paying job. I see nothing wrong with being a SAHM, and will miss it when I start to work to pay off the student loans (due to graduate in January).

Cathleen - posted on 05/16/2009

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I'm going to school now (high school, not college yet) and for the first four months, I was at home FULL TIME with my daughter, I took those months off. My child is in daycare now, and I hate it soo much. There's always one day a week when I just take the day off and spend it home with her. I feel like i'm missing out on her life. My fiance completely supports us, I never got maternity leave, I didn't qualify. When i'm done school (off for the summer and then done in November) I'm going to be a stay at home mom, it's the most rewarding job there is, and once someone in the mall asked me what I do for a living, before I went back to school, and i told her I'm a stay at home mom and she said it was shameful. I told her that the only shameful thing is to be able to afford to stay at home while your children grow and experience everything being new, and giving that all away. I told her that I would rather watch my child develop than let someone else let me know when she hits her milestones. Her face went white and she apologized. And I tell everyone the same thing. I love watching my baby do new things, learning and I think that we're closer because of it. Also, I breastfeed, and I wouldn't give it up for the world! Those are the times that you never forget, and they pass too quickly to give them up!

Mary - posted on 05/16/2009

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I think the reason staying at home is frowned upon by some is because THEY CAN'T...so they are jealous. I don't know any mother, no matter what her career, or lack there of, wouldn't enjoy spending her days with her babies. That just silly. This should be dismissed as pure jealousy or perhaps, fear of teh unknown. Some career driven women are scared to death to even think about having children, let alone taking care of them on a daily basis. Some women aren't cut out for the job. I say let them have their busy schedules and back to back meetings...I'll stick with my chicken nugget lunches and bottle feedings!!! =)

Katie - posted on 05/16/2009

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I've got a lot of that to. But I've always found that people who say that are usually people who didn't have the option to stay home. They're just jealous of you.

Helen - posted on 05/16/2009

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we also forget that 30 years ago it was the norm for a woman to stay at home with the kids until they were old enough to leave home!!!!!!!!

Rachael - posted on 05/16/2009

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Unfortunately there will always be people out their who take pleasure in passing judgement, it dosent matter what you do. Try not to worry about them. There are no set rules to being a parent. As long as you and your family are happy thats all that matters :)

Helen - posted on 05/16/2009

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if your hubby can support you then there is nothing wrong withit at all. I would love to be a stay at home mum but unfortunatly it is not possibel as i earn the larger wage. I only think it is wrong to be a stay at home mum if you are scrounging off the state on benefits.

Diana -n Craig - posted on 05/15/2009

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It is a life choice for me to stay home. All during my pregnancy I thought I would have to keep working and I would tear up just thinking about it. I've always wanted to be a mom and wife, and although I had a great paying job with wonderful benefits, all I wanted was to be a mom. About a month before my daughter was born my husand got a long awaited raise; just enough for me to quit. Woohoo! I got a lot of feedback from people saying I should keep working, why give up such a great job, I'll never be able to get to that spot again, I'll regret quitting, etc etc etc. Here's the deal, it's more important for me to be with my child than to have new shoes and a fancy hair-do or whatever. Just because I was good at my job and made 45% of our income doesn't mean I want to keep doing it forever. I am content and at peace being a stay at home mom. I've worked full time since I was 16, so this is the first time in 9 years I get a break, and I'm loving it!

Props to all the stay at home moms, people have no clue how much we do. There is no break. I didn't realize how labor intensive motherhood is until I had my baby last October. Wouldn't trade it for anything though.

Rachael - posted on 05/15/2009

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I love all the comments, It is good to hear all you guys. I don't feel bad and don't let the people get to me. I never wanted to be a sahm when i was younger but when i got pregnant and we sat down and talked about it. It would have been hard to find a place for her to go when i was working any way both me and my hubby worked third shift and i loved that shift no traffic. I would like to work from home so i could have money, that is mine and not have to ask for it. All the ones i found on line where scams like to one that said i would only pay the s&h then i find that they charged my checking $73.00 and never told me. my hubby got it back. I am to interdependent to stay at home and not make some kind of money it is driving me crazy. I can't go back to work i would miss Taylor to much and we can't afford for me to.

Connetia - posted on 05/15/2009

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my SIL got mad when she found out i was expecting our fourth. She told me that i have to go get a job to help out her brother. There is no reason to have to jobs to support me and the kids. I told her first of all the 2nd job is extra for the things that we want, like trips and outings, and he begged me to get it. I told her that she was just mad because she has to work to help her husband pay the bills. He has back child support, so 90% of his check goes to that. She is mad because i get to sit on my a@# wearing my night gown all day and she cant. But being a SAHM isnt easy, and they all think it is. My son has to see a speech therapist 9 times a month. It doesnt seem like a lot but it is. We are on call 24hr a day, and it can be hard some days. I give my hats off to the single/ married mom that do everything, they have to be overwhelm at the end off the day.

Kathyrine - posted on 05/15/2009

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I agree with you i wish i could do the same..but staying at home with your kids is a full time job.. so who cares what any one thinks i would love to do that

Monica - posted on 05/15/2009

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I am with you on this one.. I love staying home with my son. I say if you can do it why not.. watching your child grow is priceless.. why pay someone to have your memories. and the parent's always know what's best for there kids anyway. You staying home is a full time job that never ends. So don't say you dont work. You do 24/7. You provide just as much as your husband does.

Stephanie - posted on 05/15/2009

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Anyone telling you that is an IDIOT! They are obviously jealous, or just don't have kids. I'm 25 have 2 kids. Ones 4 the other will be 2 soon and I've stayed home with them since our youngest was born. Between Gas, wear and tear on the vehicle and day care it just didn't pay for me to go back to work. My husband has no problem making enough money to pay for our house, cars and all the bills. If something ever did happen of coarse I would go and get a job right away. the problem is most people just don't understand that. Plus I'm sure people look at your age, like they did me, and are just jealous. People, expecially ones without kids, don't realize all the nights with unexpected sleep loss and the fact that your job is never done. Guess what, even on Saturdays, Sundays, and Holidays we still have to clean, make meals, and then clean again. Sometimes it can seem like a thankless job, but it is totally worth it. Don't let it get you down and enjoy every moment you have with your baby. The time goes by so fast and you never get these days back. remember to take lots of pictures!

Rachel - posted on 05/15/2009

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I wish I could continue to be a stay at home mom. Does anyone know of any legitimate work at home jobs? I have mostly stayed home with my baby for the last 9 months, but I'm about to run out of funds to continue to do this. So, I'm really wanting to find something to do at home.

Toya - posted on 05/15/2009

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Do what you want and take care of your family...No one has the right to judge anyone...I am a stay at home mom/student/wife...Its cheaper for us for me to stay at home since I would only be working to pay the childcare expenses...My son is 5 but the price for before and after care where I live is more then it cost me when he in daycare all day at the age of 2...You know what is best for you and your family, Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!! At least you know who and what is going on with your kids all the time, don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't being the best mom. YOUR ARE! Be happy and thankful that you can stay home because some would love to but simply can't...Keep doing what your doing and taking care of your family! Forget what others say about stay at home moms, its more work then going outside the house to work!

Peace, Happiness, Blessings and LOVE!!!

Lyndsay - posted on 05/15/2009

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I don't see how people look at SAHMs negatively at all. It's my dream. I wish all the time I could be. Since I was a teenager, I planned to purposefully choose a well paying, relatively recession-proof career so that I would never be in the position to have to rely on anyone to support me and my children because that's the way I am, independent and a planner. Since I have this career, my husband doesn't want me to be a SAHM because we need my income, insurance, etc. I have to say that I am so jealous of SAHMs. The people that say bad things are jealous and they can't admit it.

Natasha - posted on 05/15/2009

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Oh wow! I would just ignore those people. I am also 24 and a stay home mom. My mom was happy for us and my dad was kind of sceptical. He thought we wouldnt be able to make it on just one income. Well hubby and I sat down and figured out everything with our finances. I had quit my job when I was 6mo pregnant and been a stay home mom ever since. (she is 1 now) After awhile my dad seen how well my daughter has been developing and how good she is and that we never call him for money and he said he was glad I was home.



I always wanted to be a stay home mom. Hubby said he would rather see me do that then pay daycare. We couldn't afford day care at all.



I have no idea where I am going with all this lol. My daughter keeps distracting me and I lost my train of thought..haha



But just ignore them. It doesn't matter whant anyone else thinks.

Emily - posted on 05/15/2009

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Really? When I was a SAHM everyone made sure to tell me how wonderful it was that I could stay home. I agreed and I loved it. I went back to work recently and I love it too, but my youngest had just turned two. I have had the experience that most people treat working moms like they are dumping their kids off on others to raise.

Stephanie - posted on 05/15/2009

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I think it's becoming a societal issue. As Americans we're told we should all be self suffient and independent. What ever happened to "marriage" hello we all vowed to treat eachother a certain way and stay together until death do us part. Working as a team with your hubby to raise your family, illustrating teamwork, love, and a balanced relationship are so important for your child to see. Not the inside walls pf a hectic daycare, what does that teach? The best part about being a stay at home mother is that your child will be secure in your love for him/her. If you can afford a home and your bills, ignore those who judge. Be secure in your choices, being a stay at home mom and raising your child is the most important career you'll ever have. Not everyone is wired to understand!

Sheleen - posted on 05/15/2009

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There is absolutly nothing wrong with this. I myself am a stay at home mom of 1, and have the same argument as you, why pay someone else to basicly raise your child when you are fully capable of doing it yourself! Especially the way the economy is today, no job is that reliable, and you would be working to put the money in another persons hand. In all, I agree with you! Also your child gets the benefits of seeing at least mommy, more often than a stranger!

Melanie - posted on 05/15/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

Amen to that! Lots of moms stay home. It's a choice that we want; just like some moms want to dump their kids off to go work. They feel that to fit in, they have to work. I have to differ with you about the daycare thing. I worked in a daycare. No, you don't want to take your kids there. Even the great expenisve ones cut corners. Staying home in the only way to ensure your kids are raised right. The most fulfilling thing you can ever do is play with your kids. They are truly remarkable. You'll never get a sweeter gift than one that a little, muddy face gives to you.



i dont know where yr from or what child care you worked at but were i worked i treated the kids equal and fare with lots of learning oppt. lots of love and hugs kisses and when they left i would miss them. i think its important to feel comfterble with the person yr leaving them with background check references ect... but i think if anyone left their child with me at the daycare i work at they would be able to go to work knowing theire child is safe and happy. Im not saying being a SAHM is bad but some parents have to bring their child to child care and i think you just have to find the right one and ask other parents what they think of the childcare its also gotta fit yr philosophy. i do know what you mean about cutting corners because my sup would try to get me to cut corners and i would just tell her F off lol she caint fire me for doing the right thing i could get her fired for aking me to do it. i think its just gotta be someone whos in it for the kids and not the money and you can tell who is and who isnt.

Melanie - posted on 05/15/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

Amen to that! Lots of moms stay home. It's a choice that we want; just like some moms want to dump their kids off to go work. They feel that to fit in, they have to work. I have to differ with you about the daycare thing. I worked in a daycare. No, you don't want to take your kids there. Even the great expenisve ones cut corners. Staying home in the only way to ensure your kids are raised right. The most fulfilling thing you can ever do is play with your kids. They are truly remarkable. You'll never get a sweeter gift than one that a little, muddy face gives to you.



i dont know where yr from or what child care you worked at but were i worked i treated the kids equal and fare with lots of learning oppt. lots of love and hugs kisses and when they left i would miss them. i think its important to feel comfterble with the person yr leaving them with background check references ect... but i think if anyone left their child with me at the daycare i work at they would be able to go to work knowing theire child is safe and happy. Im not saying being a SAHM is bad but some parents have to bring their child to child care and i think you just have to find the right one and ask other parents what they think of the childcare its also gotta fit yr philosophy. i do know what you mean about cutting corners because my sup would try to get me to cut corners and i would just tell her F off lol she caint fire me for doing the right thing i could get her fired for aking me to do it. i think its just gotta be someone whos in it for the kids and not the money and you can tell who is and who isnt.

Melanie - posted on 05/15/2009

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With my first child i was somewhat forced to go back to work when she was 7 mth old. I worked mornings 6am to 1pm and my husband afternoons 2 to 11pm we never saw each other other then on weekends but we felt better knowing we were taking care of our child. But i remember crying for days before about not being able to be there for her and not seeing her firsts moments...Luckely this was for a fairly short amount of time because i work in child care in a toddler room i was able to bring her with me when she turned 15 mths. it had its pros and cons but i was happy to have her with me all the time in a selfish kinda way. Now i have a 3mth old son and she is 21/2 and they both get to stay at home with me:) planing on having home childcare when the time comes for me to bring in extra income :) just caint imagine what it will be like when she goes to school.

Courtney - posted on 05/15/2009

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Don't ever let anyone make you feel like a lesser person for staying at home. Its the most amazing, unselfish gift you can give your child. Your baby will grow and may not realize it at first, but one day she'll be so thankful for the time you've given to her. I'm a registered nurse and I worked for 4 long, hard years to earn that degree. I loved my job but when I had my son I left my career to stay home and raise him. Yeah money is tight but I'm blessed to have a husband with a good job that can support us, we don't buy everything we want but its so worth it to spend every day with my 6 month old son. I want to be the one to experience seeing him do all his firsts and teach him everything he'll learn. Good luck to you, you're doing a wonderful thing!

Amanda - posted on 05/15/2009

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i have a lot of respect for working mothers and stay at home mothers, i am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home (yeah money is a bit tighter than it used to be, but it's worth it to me). let's face it, we are all different and some women do feel the need to work and contribute monetarily to the household or because they honestly enjoy it. i'm sort of in the middle, i love staying at home but there is part of me that misses work... my hubby loves that i am a SAHM, and actually doesn't want me to go back to school this fall (part time) lol. we were both officers in the army and spent 15 months in iraq before starting our family so it has been a huge adjustment for me, i loved the army and it was hard to leave it, but it would be harder to leave my little guy for a year or more! i think those that don't agree with SAHMs aren't so much jealous as they just don't understand, we all have different motivations, goals, and perceptions of success. don't let it get to you, do what is right for you and your children

Lisa - posted on 05/15/2009

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i wish i could be a stay at home mom. but i have no choice i have to work cause i am a single mother. but everyday that i leave for work i wish i didnt have to and i could just stay home with my daughter. i feel like im missing most of my daughters life because im working. u are very lucky u have the advantage to be there for your child 24/7. i wish i could say the same. so people who are saying it is a bad thing are probably just jealous that there not a stay at home mom.

Kaitlin - posted on 05/15/2009

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I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I AM ALSO A STAY AT HOME MOM AND I LOVE IT. I KNOW THAT MY KIDS ARE BEING TAKEING CARE OF THE WAY THAT THEY SHOULD BE AND THE WAY I WOULD WANT THEM TO BE TAKING CARE OF. YES, THERE ARE DAYS WEREI JUST WANT TO PULL MY HAIR OUT BUT THAT IS PART OF BEING A PARENT RIGHT? I ALSO, DN'T WANT TO GET A JOB DUE TO THE FACT THAT I DON'T WANT MY WHOLE PAYCHECK GOING TO A SITTER. I WOULD DO IT IF I REALLY HAD TO BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T. THERE HAVE BEEN PEOPLE WHO HAV PUT ME DOWN BECAUSE I ENJOY STAYING HOME WITH MY KIDS BUT I THINK IT IS BECAUSE THEY NEVER HAVE STAYED HOME WITH THIERS AND THEY DON'T UNSDERSTAND HOW WONDERFUL IT CAN BE.

Tiffany - posted on 05/15/2009

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I stay at home with my daughter and do in home daycare. so i am able to make money as well as raise her, but i think that being a stay home mom is the best option for a child. I know that WE are raising our child, and she is getting the proper disipline, love and affection that she needs, and she is not being taught bad things by other children! We have had to put her in daycare for a few months, and yes.. she did fine... however i would just much rather be at home with her. I think most people that make comments like that are just jealous that they can't be a stay at home mom

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