step parents

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

any advice on dealing with the jealousy revolving around the step parent/step child issue. should yu try to be their friend or parent?

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Christina - posted on 03/03/2009

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Oh thats not a nice position to be in. How about all sitting down together and talking about it an see she how your daughter feels about you and your partner. Just do it during a mealtime time or somehting like its just come up in conversation rather than saying 'i think we all need to have a talk'

Christina - posted on 03/03/2009

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Oh I see, sorry to hear that!!!!



It will be a huge adjustment especially for her. Sounds like shes playing up to see how far she can push ur partner and doing it also because she thinks he is trying to take you away from her. As she hasn't had to share you with anyone she maybe thinking that he is trying to take you away from her. I am only speculating but usually thats can be some of the reason s why she may be playing up

Jaime - posted on 03/01/2009

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It really depends if their real parent is still around. If there aren't then, I think, they need some one who can help with "motherly" care and love. On the other hand, if they are around you don't want to make it seem like you are taking the place of their mom. It is important to do stuff together to show that you are important to their father and have your circle of family and to let them discuss their "other" family with positive remarks from you and dad, because the negitive feedback will not be good for the teenagers or preteens, BELIEVE ME. On the third hand (lol) if the other parent is in their life sometimes and for the most part blows them off, you have to deal with that situation very carefully. That is the boat my family is in and it is very hard for the kids. Over the years I have become Mom to my 6 year old, but the 9 year old has had a lot of difficultly over it. I don't have a good answer for this one, because we haven't figured it out yet. I try to support her as much as I possibly can(soccer, pta and school, all the current interests) but when she is mad at me I think I will always get "your not my real mom" So I always keep in the back of my mind that I am a parent no matter how you look at it because I make sure all their needs are met and put love and care out there- if they want it they'll take it, if not- they will relize latter in life and take it then.

[deleted account]

my daughters dad passed away when she was 3 years old so she has never really known what it is like to have a dad around.me and my partner recently took the leap of staying together and it has been ahuge adjustment for all of us.tantrums and disrespect are the order of the day.relationships are suffering and i just want to run away.

Christina - posted on 03/01/2009

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Hi Monica



My parents split so I know what it is like to have step parents. It is important, I think to gain the trust of the children an try to make them understand that your partner is not there to replace their dad to take you away from them but also they need to understand that that person is the adult and when they say no, for example, it carries as much weight as it does when you say no.

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