surely i must be entitled to more financial support????

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

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I have 2 little boys and have chose to be a stay at home mom since their early years go by so quick. My partner works but all his wages go on bills so we just about have enough for food shopping so days out and luxuries are rare. I get about £80 a week tax credits which lasts about a day. Is anyone else in this situation or know of any support I may be entitled to so i can have a bit more independence? If I worked part time I'd have to put the 2 boys in full time childcare to allow travel time so it really wouldn't be worth it!

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Jamie - posted on 06/09/2009

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jamie massie no one ever once said it was a competition i just said if my children's father choices not to be a part of there life im not going to put him in jail for it because if he dont want to be around then we are better off without him n yeah if i raise my children by myself they may not have the best life but guarantee they will have more respect and love for me in the end

Kirsty - posted on 05/09/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

I am actually with my boys dad so its not that he won't provide for them. We live together and he works to pay the bills and feed us all, but doesn't have alot left for much else, new clothes, days out etc, the nice things. I'm from the uk so I suppose it's different here tosome of you but I was just wondering if anyone knew of any benefits I may be entitled to?



you should get working tax credits child tax credits plus your childrens family allowance weekly or monthly x

Helen - posted on 05/09/2009

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that sounds about the right level of money - tax credits aren't supposed to be for "nice things or new clothes" but for the esentials in life - we both work full time and have no spare money ( don't qualify for any benefits) I don't mean to sound harsh but if you want the nice things in life you will have to get a job - try bar work or cleaning a few nights a week when your partner is home to look after the kids. You are very lucky to be able to stay at home - most people don't have the luxury

Katie - posted on 05/08/2009

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Hi Michelle! My name is Katie and I work from home, It's great because I can stay home with my baby girl (who is now 11 months old!) but I make extra income to help my husband with all the bills. Go to my website www.sockatie.com and check it out. It may work for you as well as it has worked for me!

Amanda - posted on 05/08/2009

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Quoting Jamie:



Quoting Amanda:




Quoting Jamie:





Quoting Amanda:

Well hate to break it to you but I have twins and their father was only told to pay me $30 A MONTH!!!! I have tried to get it raised but they won't. They said thats all he said he could afford and they took his word for it! My kids are 6 now and it's never been raised so good luck!










Im not sure where you live, but i know here I can send a form to my ex's employer and they have to tell me exactly what he makes. Also, have you ever subpoenaed his paystuds in court, or his tax returns. You just need to show what he makes, then it shouldnt matter what he says he can afford. My ex cant afford his child support and to live, so his wife had to get s job. Mind you shes 18 has 1yr is pregnant with my exs baby and doesnt get support for her first child. When jail is at thier door step they tend to pay up. Ive had arrest warrants issued for my ex for non-payment.  Now he knows as long as hes paying Ill leave him alone, but if he starts not paying again i will modify it and make it go up even more then it is.








 








 








 













Unfortunately for my kids, their father is in jail for the next 8 years for a handgun violation and in Maryland they don't make the NCP pay back the support that was incuring when they are incarerated because they feel like it will make that parent overwhelmed and end up committing another crime(stupid Maryland lawmakers!).. So I won't be able to get any support, and I haven't gotten any in the last 2 years. I really could care less about his measly $30 for both kids. He never spent time with them anyway. And as soon as my husband comes home from Active Duty he's adopting them so I am not to much worried about it because he supports them.








 








 









Thats cool, where is your DH stationed, my hubby is Active Duty National Guard in AZ. Im luck and he comes home everynight and we dont have to work about moving unless he wants to. And we dont have to live on base, when we go on base I always feel like I have entered another world, lol.






My husband is in Wichita Falls, TX right now. He has been gone for nearly 9 months and he should be returning in June.  Yeah, we are going to be stationed in DE. He is trying to sign up for full time Active Duty instead of just Reserves right now. He is determined to do whatever it takes to help his family unlike some biological parents I know! I am so glad that I have him because he puts the kids above everything and everyone else and their own fathers don't even do that. That is what you call a REAL man.

[deleted account]

Sorry but what is DH? I find there is alot of DS/DH mentioned on these threads and I don't what they are short for.



Here in New Zealand we have working for families. We get that plus accomodation supplement (which u r only entitled to if you earn under $999 a week). The DPB (domestic perposes benefit etc)



I have been trying to find something I can do from hom efor a bit of extra money, but I have an Avon rep (I was also reccomneded not to do that) in my street. I looked in to Mary Kay but the rep was extremly pushy which put me off.

My partner pays 17% of his yearly income for child support (which is about $65 a month). His ex didnt want him to pay c/s but he insisted.

Jamie - posted on 05/07/2009

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Quoting Andrea:

Here in the US we have a program called WIC (Women, Infants, Children) which gives you milk, eggs, peanut butter or beans, juice, and a few other things. It has really helped my boyfriend and I with our daughter. She was able to get formula from WIC until she turned one and now we get whole milk for her from WIC. If you have a public health department over there I would check with them about what programs you may be able to use. I found out about WIC from a state employee where I live.

Good luck to you and your family!

Also, since this topic has seemed to turn more towards child support it is important to remember that each state has it's own guidelines as to how child support is paid or decided. My boyfriend and I live in one state, but he pays child support from another state and they take it directly from his paycheck but I know there are a few states that don't always set it up like that.



I live in   Arizona where they just take the childsupport out. I like it because then dad doesnt really get a choice he has to pay his support. I mean before court he would "pay me what he could" well thats BS if you ask me, I cant pay the daycare what I can afford or pay half price for milk because thats what I can afford. My husband has child support taken from his pay check and it works for him because then he never has to worry about writing a check and he never has to worry about saving money, he just never sees it. So to me this works the best for both sides.   Also, love the WIC program, I only  did it until they were 1, formula was so expensive and I couldnt breastfeed. I always recommend the WIC program to new mothers.

Jamie - posted on 05/07/2009

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Quoting Amanda:



Quoting Jamie:




Quoting Amanda:

Well hate to break it to you but I have twins and their father was only told to pay me $30 A MONTH!!!! I have tried to get it raised but they won't. They said thats all he said he could afford and they took his word for it! My kids are 6 now and it's never been raised so good luck!








Im not sure where you live, but i know here I can send a form to my ex's employer and they have to tell me exactly what he makes. Also, have you ever subpoenaed his paystuds in court, or his tax returns. You just need to show what he makes, then it shouldnt matter what he says he can afford. My ex cant afford his child support and to live, so his wife had to get s job. Mind you shes 18 has 1yr is pregnant with my exs baby and doesnt get support for her first child. When jail is at thier door step they tend to pay up. Ive had arrest warrants issued for my ex for non-payment.  Now he knows as long as hes paying Ill leave him alone, but if he starts not paying again i will modify it and make it go up even more then it is.






 






 






 










Unfortunately for my kids, their father is in jail for the next 8 years for a handgun violation and in Maryland they don't make the NCP pay back the support that was incuring when they are incarerated because they feel like it will make that parent overwhelmed and end up committing another crime(stupid Maryland lawmakers!).. So I won't be able to get any support, and I haven't gotten any in the last 2 years. I really could care less about his measly $30 for both kids. He never spent time with them anyway. And as soon as my husband comes home from Active Duty he's adopting them so I am not to much worried about it because he supports them.






 






 





Thats cool, where is your DH stationed, my hubby is Active Duty National Guard in AZ. Im luck and he comes home everynight and we dont have to work about moving unless he wants to. And we dont have to live on base, when we go on base I always feel like I have entered another world, lol.

Amanda - posted on 05/07/2009

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Quoting Jamie:

i really doesnt sound like u are even talking about child support but everyone who has commented on child support but i feel like mine children are not a car payment so to put a price on how much a father should have to pay a mother is stupid i am a single mother of 3 and i do it all by myself all the time if there father choices not to pay or choices not to spend time with them then that is his lose my children are a gift not a bill so when i are older they will relize who provided for them and they will love me all that much more for that . if it was u n the shoe was on the other foot n u were ordered to pay there father you would def think different.


Well it's nice to know that you have been able to do it on your own with 3 children, I have done it too. But there are women out there that get child support to SUPPORT THE CHILD!!!! Yeah the things kids need are expensive at times. Why should it be only the mother that financially supports a child?? It took two to make a baby. And as far as the shoe being on the other foot, I have a husband that pay $350 for child support a month for one son and he was only ordered to pay $150. He wants to do it because he loves his son. If I were the NCP I would pay also and spend time with my children because you are right about them not being a car payment, because my children are priceless.

Mel - posted on 05/07/2009

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Thats sad Amanda G, im kinda glad hes away from them tho he doesnt sound like he deserves children

Amanda - posted on 05/07/2009

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Quoting Jamie:



Quoting Amanda:

Well hate to break it to you but I have twins and their father was only told to pay me $30 A MONTH!!!! I have tried to get it raised but they won't. They said thats all he said he could afford and they took his word for it! My kids are 6 now and it's never been raised so good luck!






Im not sure where you live, but i know here I can send a form to my ex's employer and they have to tell me exactly what he makes. Also, have you ever subpoenaed his paystuds in court, or his tax returns. You just need to show what he makes, then it shouldnt matter what he says he can afford. My ex cant afford his child support and to live, so his wife had to get s job. Mind you shes 18 has 1yr is pregnant with my exs baby and doesnt get support for her first child. When jail is at thier door step they tend to pay up. Ive had arrest warrants issued for my ex for non-payment.  Now he knows as long as hes paying Ill leave him alone, but if he starts not paying again i will modify it and make it go up even more then it is.



 



 



 






Unfortunately for my kids, their father is in jail for the next 8 years for a handgun violation and in Maryland they don't make the NCP pay back the support that was incuring when they are incarerated because they feel like it will make that parent overwhelmed and end up committing another crime(stupid Maryland lawmakers!).. So I won't be able to get any support, and I haven't gotten any in the last 2 years. I really could care less about his measly $30 for both kids. He never spent time with them anyway. And as soon as my husband comes home from Active Duty he's adopting them so I am not to much worried about it because he supports them.



 



 

Vanessa - posted on 05/07/2009

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here in australia we have plenty of chance to get out and do something.. we have all sorts of work.. i have a friend who is a single mum and as things are touch these days she earns an exta $200 a week to deliver newspapers.. she walks with the kids on a bike so there are no daycare fees and she is getting an extra few hundred a week.. why don't you try and look into something like that around you area.. it will keep you fit as well

Amanda - posted on 05/07/2009

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what about doing something where you can work from home with your boys? I have a home daycare and I can earn up to $600/month per child.

Morag - posted on 05/07/2009

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When I was in the UK I could only get Tax credits. At first it was 70pound a week and my ex earnt 500pound a month, so things were really tight...especially considering my ex spent all the money on drugs, didn't live with me but told the DSS he did. I only got a grand total of 3pound a week to live on at one point because he got a nice payrise. However, I could survive quite well on the 70pounds a week I used to get when it was Family credit and that was without anything else.. Unfortunately as long as your partner is working you are not entitled to anything else other than your Child benefit. You will probably have to look at getting a part time job, night/evening work, Avon lady etc that will fit around your partners hours, just to get some extra money if you want the extra luxuries, the benefit system is designed to help people survive, not for spending on luxuries like new clothes and days out. I know being a SAHM is important especially as the years go by so quick as you said, I'd love to be a SAHM, but there is no such thing as benefits in Spain... but if you want to be able to give your sons more luxuries etc, you might have to sacrifice time spent with them. But really they only need your love :)

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2009

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I am actually with my boys dad so its not that he won't provide for them. We live together and he works to pay the bills and feed us all, but doesn't have alot left for much else, new clothes, days out etc, the nice things. I'm from the uk so I suppose it's different here tosome of you but I was just wondering if anyone knew of any benefits I may be entitled to?

Melissa - posted on 05/07/2009

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Here in our province we have healthy mommies, healthy babies. They do the same

type of thing but you get vouchers. I didnt quailify for it as I made too much mone for it, but I do know if ou are under 21 you automatically qualify or if you have no family support I also believe if you attempt to breast feed they provide you with a car seat but I am not 100% sure.

Andrea - posted on 05/07/2009

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Here in the US we have a program called WIC (Women, Infants, Children) which gives you milk, eggs, peanut butter or beans, juice, and a few other things. It has really helped my boyfriend and I with our daughter. She was able to get formula from WIC until she turned one and now we get whole milk for her from WIC. If you have a public health department over there I would check with them about what programs you may be able to use. I found out about WIC from a state employee where I live.



Good luck to you and your family!



Also, since this topic has seemed to turn more towards child support it is important to remember that each state has it's own guidelines as to how child support is paid or decided. My boyfriend and I live in one state, but he pays child support from another state and they take it directly from his paycheck but I know there are a few states that don't always set it up like that.

Mel - posted on 05/07/2009

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its hard! im a stay at home mum with only one child who cant go into childcare but centrelink told me when i asked about going back to work that i would be better off staying at home and having then going back. this amazed me they would say this even though i know its true because my mum said it as well. a friend of mine tried to go back to work she has two girls but it wasnt worth the costs of parking in the city and childcare compared to what she was earning. my partner can never save money each week he earns between $500-$800 and it seems to all go on bills and and food and rent. i get about $180 a fortnight and i pay for our daughters things like clothes, toys, formula, cups, bottles, nappys etc except if we get them at a food shop then he pays for nappys. i lived off my savings for a while and now just live week to week but as soon as he gets his ticket i know it will be ok so im not stressing about it. all i can say is budget the best you can!!

Melissa - posted on 05/06/2009

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He works on the rigs its sad thought he mom with 2 children barely keeps bills on evern though her rent is like 300 she has a major drinking problem but the other mom spends what she needs and she saves the rest for my nieces future which we all support her choice of course.

The courts are still making him pay this ammount now that he is laid off as well so that sucks but yeah he does try

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

my brother pays 1200 to his 2 children with one mom and 900 to the other mom with one child



Thats a house payment, lol. Your bro must have a good job, good for him being an adult and helping support his children.

Melissa - posted on 05/06/2009

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my brother pays 1200 to his 2 children with one mom and 900 to the other mom with one child

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Jamie, I wasnt aware it was a compeition between mom and dad on who provided more for them and who they will love more in the end?

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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i really doesnt sound like u are even talking about child support but everyone who has commented on child support but i feel like mine children are not a car payment so to put a price on how much a father should have to pay a mother is stupid i am a single mother of 3 and i do it all by myself all the time if there father choices not to pay or choices not to spend time with them then that is his lose my children are a gift not a bill so when i are older they will relize who provided for them and they will love me all that much more for that . if it was u n the shoe was on the other foot n u were ordered to pay there father you would def think different.

Amie - posted on 05/06/2009

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From the way you wrote your $80 I assume you're in the UK or thereabouts. I'm not sure what tax credits are though either. Is it like our family allowance we get every month here in Canada?
In Canada there are all kinds of programs you can apply for to get extra help even while working. The best place to find out where to find these programs is to go into social services and ask them to point you in the right direction. If it's a child support issue though definitely go back to court if you can.

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

Well hate to break it to you but I have twins and their father was only told to pay me $30 A MONTH!!!! I have tried to get it raised but they won't. They said thats all he said he could afford and they took his word for it! My kids are 6 now and it's never been raised so good luck!



Im not sure where you live, but i know here I can send a form to my ex's employer and they have to tell me exactly what he makes. Also, have you ever subpoenaed his paystuds in court, or his tax returns. You just need to show what he makes, then it shouldnt matter what he says he can afford. My ex cant afford his child support and to live, so his wife had to get s job. Mind you shes 18 has 1yr is pregnant with my exs baby and doesnt get support for her first child. When jail is at thier door step they tend to pay up. Ive had arrest warrants issued for my ex for non-payment.  Now he knows as long as hes paying Ill leave him alone, but if he starts not paying again i will modify it and make it go up even more then it is.

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

Nothing worse than dads that won't pay!! My husband has a son from a first marriage, and we pay his mom $720 a month and take his son every weekend (we would prefer his son to live with us, but it's not happening)......you all should be getting more!



Thats close to what I get everymonth, and thats because its based on him having our daughter every weekend but he hasnt seen her in over a year. I was thinking about raising it to what it should be but figured shes doing really good now and very smart, I dont want to do anything to ruffle dads feathers and him come in a destroy her spirit again.

Lisa - posted on 05/06/2009

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Nothing worse than dads that won't pay!! My husband has a son from a first marriage, and we pay his mom $720 a month and take his son every weekend (we would prefer his son to live with us, but it's not happening)......you all should be getting more!

Amanda - posted on 05/06/2009

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Well hate to break it to you but I have twins and their father was only told to pay me $30 A MONTH!!!! I have tried to get it raised but they won't. They said thats all he said he could afford and they took his word for it! My kids are 6 now and it's never been raised so good luck!

Sheryl - posted on 05/06/2009

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i have 1 little girl, and i'm supposed to get 125$ a wek, but he doesn't pay,and he'll get locked up if he gets caught. Your entitled to 17% of babby daddy s pay . you got 2 so ur entitled to more. Go to court and get what u need. Don't procrasternate

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