things you CANNOT stand in other moms..?

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2010 ( 103 moms have responded )

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Everyone knows that all moms are different, and that everyone has the right to raise their kids their own way. But there seems to be things that some moms do that other women can't stand to the point that they avoid that particular mom.



For me, its putting pets before kids [i.e. allowing dogs to bite kids], spanking young babies, ignoring their child's horrible behavior, and when other moms feel the need to discipline other people's kids for minor offenses....especially when they spank other people's kids.



what are the deal breakers for you?



**this post isn't meant to insult, criticize, or hurt other moms. its just a way to get things off our chests. So please don't make this personal or try to attack anyone. Thanks**

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Nichola - posted on 06/14/2010

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i think everyone is a complete individual. And i don't think it's nice to judge. You might see something a parent might only do on a bad day, or see a parent on a good day and have something nice to say. Everyone has different ways and meanings of bringing up their children; but in all honesty, i think as long as you concentrate on your own children, making sure they have manners and respect, then you've done a brilliant job. Because parenting is hard. You make mistakes and you learn from them. What someone else does might irritate you, but i'm sure there is things about you that would irritate them. lol. I just concentrate on the wellness of my own kids.

Sonia - posted on 06/14/2010

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When I was pregnant I used to go out once a week with my partner, we don't have a lot to offer in our small town, so we used to go to the pub with friends. I never drank and wasn't out in the smoking area, so what is the problem with a pregnant women being at a bar. I was sociallising with friends and was enjoying the time to go out before my son was born.

Sheryl - posted on 06/15/2010

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one thing georgia pauley! i am a stay home mother! my kids get healthy meals for breakfest, lunch, and dinner! they get fast food like once in a blue moon. let them till yeah i don't sleep all day. my day is full of back and fourth to doc. appt. and picking up and doping off. also cleaing house, food shopping, bathing, ect. i would go get a job but i am so busy its not funny! my youngest has sensory processing disorder and speech delays and may be austic. then to top it having is having seizures or heart problems! so not all stay at home moms are lazy some maybe but not all. so plz don't set there and say "stay at home mothers". you may think that is is easer but may if you took sometime to asked. sometime theres more to the picture! so many next time you can so something like moms so set there and doing nothing all day! instead of saying stay at home mothers. sorry if it seem a lil rud. but i am going through at alot cause the idea of me being able to lose my son at anything from seizures or heart issues is not easy. but i just had to say cause not all stay at home moms are like that.

Laura - posted on 06/15/2010

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Moms who ask, "Is your child doing such-and-such, yet? No? Oh, well, MY child started doing it MONTHS ago." If you want to brag, just say, "I'm so excited that she has started to ________." Don't make a competition out of it.



Moms who ASK for your advice, then just say, "Well, I don't agree with your parenting philosophy." Ummm... okay. What ever happened to gracefully accepting advice? Just say, "Thanks. I'll consider it."



Finally, moms who don't respect the legit choices of other parents. I understand you may be passionate about not vaccinating or giving your child an vegan, gluten-free, high-soy diet, but that's YOUR kid. Unless I am doing something to directly compromise the safety of my child (i.e. holding my baby in my lap while driving, shaking my child, or dangling a kid off a balcony), chill.

Katie - posted on 06/14/2010

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I have a ton but I'm going to only mention one.
Parents who don't own up for how their child turns out. I was watching a show yesterday and this 17 year old girl was dating a 34 year old and was pregnant with his kid. The 34 year old guy just got out of prison not long ago and has 3 different kids from 3 different women all young without a job and doesn't support his other kids. The mom didn't take any blame for her daughters mistakes. I hate that the parents say well I tried my best and now look what they're doing with their life. Kids learn things from somewhere. Her mom didn't do anything to prevent the relationship from happening she just watched it happen. Yeah its the girls fault where she is too but I blame the parents too. I just hate that the parents don't own up to their mistakes.

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Jeanette - posted on 06/15/2010

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my biggest pet peeve is unsolicited advice... if i didn't ask for your opinion don't give it! i don't enjoy being spoken to by totally strangers about my kids. i just recently had twins and i also have a 2 year old and people constantly feel the need to stare and then proceed to tell me something i most likely already know. i do get a lot of "god bless you" and " your so brave" which i appreciate but older women who speak to me like i'm an idiot cause i'm 23 and there 40 something and have kids that are grown really annoy me. if you haven't had babies in more then 5 years don't speak to me like i don't know what i'm doing.

i also don't like seeing pregnant women smoking, parents smoking around kids, parents who hit or yell at there kids, parents who ignore their babies crying while out ( i can understand minimal CIO at home but just ignoring your baby in public is mean and inconsiderate for everyone around you), parents who don't direct their children to move out of people's way instead of just standing in the middle of the sidewalk of grocery aisle, parents who leave their children unsupervised in public, parents who give kids soda, and most especially i don't like women who discourage mothers from breastfeeding!

Sarah - posted on 06/15/2010

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I like this post :)

Here's what really gets to me:

When some breastfeeding moms assume that formula feeding moms are lazy, selfish, or didn't try hard enough to breastfeed. Just because I'm not currently breastfeeding doesn't make me less of a mother. It doesn't make me bond less with my child & it certainly doesn't mean that I don't care about their health. Oh and formula is NOT poison. Arsenic, warfarin, etc. are poisons & obviously I don't feed that to my child. So stop comparing formula to rat poison. My child is just as happy & healthy as yours.

When a mom is worried about her child's development and asks for advice & other moms say "Well, MY child has been doing THAT for months now!" Yeah, let's make her feel even worse than she already did.

When moms take their dirty, half-dressed, bare-foot children into grocery stores or other places. I'm sorry, but those stores are usually freezing. Dress your kid appropriately!

Stephanie - posted on 06/15/2010

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Of course there's the typical abuse and neglect, but here are a couple of my little pet peeves.

The parents who leave their kids in the petstore that I run while they go off to their dentist appointment or go do groceries. Please don't blame us if something happens such as an injury or abduction! (Not that it has ever happened yet.)

Also, competitive mothers. I find there are quite a number out there that seem to get upset (or put on a snotty air) when they see another baby in the grocery store or something...what, do they think that they're the only mothers out there?! And please don't act like your child is better just because s/he is crawling or has more teeth.

Zoe - posted on 06/15/2010

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-abuse and neglet
-kids not dressed properly for the weather
-mums who try and tell me how to raise my child when theirs is far from perfect
-Not enough blankets on newborns
-mums who criticise breastfeeding when they dont know anything
-mums who put to small clothes on their child
-mums who do not discipline then wonder why their child is running riot
-mums who put their kids in pushchairs just because it is easier than them walking

there is a few more lol basicaly i agree with every1 on here apart from "leash's" (reins) are idle no they are not i just want to keep my child safe from the sick sick peple in the world who snatch kids

Morgan - posted on 06/15/2010

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The one that gets me the most is when other moms bring their sick babies to play dates/groups ect
I HATE THAT!!
keep your sick kids away from mine!!!!

Georgia - posted on 06/15/2010

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Um, what gets under my skin are "stay at home mothers" who stay at home and refuse to get a job because they want to be active in their childs life, when in reality, they're only active in their own. They sleep all day when their kid is outside BY THEMSELVES, don't help w/homework, don't give them a hearty meal (fast food everyday) etc.
I just don't get it.

Jennifer - posted on 06/15/2010

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WHY do people or other moms try to feed my baby? I am so excited to see his face when he will get to try a new thing but I'm waiting because we have a plan and I'm sticking to it. I want to give up sometimes and let him taste whip cream or strawberries but we're not doing that and it's frustrating that people think they can give my kid food without asking me. Even my nieces and nephews (from 18mths to 6 years) I always ask their parents before giving their kid anything let alone a baby for goodness sake.

Kimberly - posted on 06/15/2010

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I know what you mean as far as the spanking the other peoples kids, I myself am willing to admit that I am guilty on that part.
But my deal breakers the ignoring or the beating on your own child.

Lyndsay - posted on 06/15/2010

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Moms who smoke cigarettes in front of their strollers, so the smoke blows all over their baby. At least have the decency to turn the child around.

Cara - posted on 06/15/2010

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mine is my mother in law, wen we tell her not to give my then 6month old chocolate, she proceeded to do so, she's given her a bit of her cup of tea, and always sends her sleep even wen we say not to, so she never goes to bed at her normal time, and its me having to stay up to try and get to sleep again :( xx

Chera - posted on 06/15/2010

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My pet peeve is neglect. I dont understand how someone could neglect there children...

Rebecca - posted on 06/15/2010

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abuse and neglect. no child of any age deserves that no matter what they do.. and when other moms try to tell me how to raise my baby

Ashley - posted on 06/15/2010

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when my son was about a month and a half some lady come up to me at the mall and tried to tell me all these things about my sone.he was in a carseat in the stroller and was asleep and had he head turned to the side and upward a littly. this was how he lsept. but she tried to reach down and turn his head! i was like WOW! dont touch him.she got all mad and somped off. later she reapproached me with one of the mall security and said i pushed her and yelled at her.i explained to the guy she was trying to mess with my child and the guy asked her to leave! thnkfully! i agree with most mums..i am going to do what i think is best formy child and if i have a question then ill ask! and as far as leashes go..im all for it! they are one of themost awesome inventionsfor children next the things that conect binkies to the shirt. i also hate when people tell me to 'just wait till ...' i hate that i dont wanna just wait..im gonna enjoy my son and daughter for what they are doing now. i dont want anymore kids and neither doesntmy husband so i want to enjoy evey lil preciousmoment i can.and last, i hate when pp criticize my child for not doing things as fast as other children! its just flat out annoying!

Rebecca - posted on 06/15/2010

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For me the big one is car seat safety, feeding children something they aren't supposed to have until a certain age or that they just think they are always right. I also don't like when mother's put their personal life before the kids. I know people who are always out at bars while the husband is at home or the kids with a sitter so i don't talk to them anymore.
I also don't like the pet's before kids with the biting and oh my the big spanking.
Great post!!

Melissa - posted on 06/15/2010

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Moms on cell phones, or texting for too long. Know it alls (we all have our firsts and need to learn from our mistakes). Snotty over achievers, smoking and drinking or drugs w/children around. Screamers, hitters, see your kid for an hour a dayers.
There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. Taking it slow, watching and learning with your child. My favorite quote from the most unlikely movie: "Mother is the the name for God on the hearts and lips of all children" and I am not religious. Lets let it sink in.

Krys - posted on 06/15/2010

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Wow i think i have too long of a list but i think the things that get under my skin..is other moms think their methods are the best and how i shouldnt spank my child but i will say on that note...although i did spank my son , i have never had to alot and i didnt have to beat my child to do so, and now its just easier to talk and advise him what i s right. The one thing is when im out in public and a kidd in the isle is on the third isle from their parents!! or the screamer and the parents ignore the fitt...i dont know im not tryn to say my kidd never throw a fit on me but i wouldnt go all the way through walmart or sears till i was finished,lol and then there are those that choose drugs over their own kids...i see it like this...i have never told anyone to how tro raise their kids...nor will i ever but no one is going to tell me as well, my son respects me and knows i love him and moms that think they are so perfect they have taken the mirror off the wall. when it comes to other parenting we all have to step back and sometimes hope that the mom who lets her child scream and continue with her shopping will learn...its the real stuf fthat bothers me personally and i hate to say it some moms just need a lil direction and not criticism, the world has changed since we were kids lets face it.

Shalaina - posted on 06/15/2010

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I absolutely hate when parents do not control their kids behavior and let them run around and bother others while they sit on their cell phone. Also, when they let their children torture animals and throw things at them. As with Cheyenne (whenever I finally leave my son with a babysitter) I will be very mad if they ignore the instructions left for them.

Joanna - posted on 06/15/2010

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I'm jumping on the pro-leash/harness bandwagon! It isn't lazy of me to want to protect my child in a busy area. I've used mine 3 times before, twice in the crowded Denver airport when I Was traveling alone, and my daughter (11 months one time, almost 2 the other time) needed to get out of the stroller and walk, so she had on her harness and still held on to my hand - but they are kids, so she'd see something bright and shiney and want to run after it, and I had the harness to stop her. And I used it one other time recently because I'm pregnant and can no longer pick her up (she's 40 lbs) or run after her (I have a pelvic problem with this pregnancy), and so she wore the harness while she was out of her stroller at the zoo. I don't think it's lazy, it's putting your child's safety first!

One thing that kind of gets on my nerves now that I think of it, is if my daughter is at the play area. She's 2 1/2 and will wait her turn, but she has her limit... if there is a child sitting at the top of the slide for 5 minutes not going anywhere, she gets fed up and will scoot past them to go down the slide. And then the parents of that child glare at me for letting her go. I just want to say "Teach your kid to use the slide before letting her play on it!" Or when OLD kids lay on the toys and play their handheld games or just talk to each other, when it's a playground for younger children who want to use the toys. Recently I had to leave my daughter's favorite park with her crying because there was a group of 14/15 year olds hanging out on the swings (one was IN the baby swing my daughter loved) smoking and cussing!

Heather - posted on 06/15/2010

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Moms who dress, look, and act like sorry for the word but..,.SLUTS and then expose their children to that behavior. Also drinking beer and getting drunk or other people drinking or getting drunk in front of your kids.

[deleted account]

I dont nit pick about what other moms do,it really doesnt bother me in the slightest,as i said before neglect those but less important things dont like many that you all have mentioned.I have a 18mth old daughter whos my second and shes had tiny feet since birth,if not in an all and ones shes not wearing socks,i find i had to put tights on her to please others not family but yes strangers so the wouldnt be stopping me and passing there rude comments,seriously i think its quiet sad to be one of those people to feel the need to go out of there way to be like that, and i would never want to find myself being one of thoses people either, as that would be worse.:-)

Maria - posted on 06/15/2010

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allowing pets to play rough to the point of hurting kids is where I draw the line & someone else thinking they can spank my child!! this sort of stuff just isn't on...MT.

Rocelle - posted on 06/15/2010

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Many things bother me that parents do with their children that they should know better, drugs, neglect, abuse all things that are terrible, but if you mean just personally little things there are many that crawl under my skin. One being when you come to my house and all your child to do whatever they want and expect me to clean up after them and correct them as well. Allowing your child to make a scene publicly, honestly when my children were very young and were carrying on like fools in a public area I have simply left, charts of foods, cloths shopping I have left, I am not about to walk around with my child screaming for everyone to listen to and see no no. I do however, i respect everyone chooses to do things their way and as long as it isnt hurting my children or causing their child harm I dont inflick my opinon or say anything.

Laura - posted on 06/15/2010

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@ Karin Suttor - Even the cleanest of kids get lice-- especially in a school setting, so getting lice in itself in not a sign of neglect. Not treating the lice, however, is neglect.

Sheryl - posted on 06/15/2010

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mine is when theres a mix up like with jackets or clothing. and the mother set there saying it her sons when even other are saying no it not. another is abuse! one of the ladies said the something about baby bot. well my view on that its ok sometimes. know if its all the time then come on yes it lazyness. but everyonce in while. i think it ok. i also hate it when parent go out all time to party or bring the party to them. some more are like moms not give there child enough time to buckel up before they take off. also when people set there an say if that where my child i would bet his butt. when they don't understand that like the child my be austic or sensory processing disorder. and that there may be alot of factors like a pack building and hot also. all i got to say about that is think people. know i hate it when they don't try to make it better the parent. know me i do. even if it means taking my child out of the building. those are just my views.

Casey - posted on 06/15/2010

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Parents not disciplining their kids,not investing in their child future/education thinking name brand clothes will help them read and write..the amount of money the spend on name brand they could buy educational toys and books and read to them. Handling a newborn like a piece of cloth i hate that i see a lot of moms doing it. Over protective parents..need to let their children grow up. Parents that don't interact with their kids play,talk,teaching them things,etc..

Angie - posted on 06/15/2010

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I have to disagree with the leashes too. While we don't use it often if I'm going to have to walk through a busy parking lot or somewhere with a ton of people my 3 1/2 year old is on her harness. I also have a 20 month old who is generally in a carrier so picking up my oldest isn't an option. And while it's great to scold them when they pull away and tell them they can't do that it unfortunately only takes one time for them to pull away before they get hit by a car or lost in a crowd. I do hold her hand and we never let go but I also leash the monkey tail around my wrist just in case. It gives me a peace of mind.

Carly - posted on 06/15/2010

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Agreed!! I know a girl who went out partying when she had a newborn @ home - BAD PARENT!

Danielle - posted on 06/15/2010

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i hate the mothers who have come into my various jobs who endanger or neglect their children in any way. for example, i had a mother put her infant daughter on the moving grocery belt when i worked at a supermarket. i actually had to shut down the line and (politely) tell the mother that i could not continue until her child was off of the dirty, food-laden belt...also when mothers let their small children run loose through stores as if other people arent going to notice or be bothered with it...on the other hand, i hate parents who act as if they never get upset by their children. i had a lady tell me that you should NEVER scold or yell at your kids. you should just be patient and be honest and open and always talk to your children about everything they do wrong. now, that sounds ideal, but when my 4-yr old is about to step off the curb into a busy parking lot, you better believe that im gonna scold her. or when she got the nerve to try and change the water temperature in the bathtub. was i patient and understanding? NO. i yelled and smacked her hand. later, i explained to her about scalding hot water and how bad it can hurt....ugh, i think some moms really just lie about their patience-levels though.

Carly - posted on 06/15/2010

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Hi Miranda!
I hate when ppl critisize my child to.My child was 8.2 and is a tall and solid boy now which he gets from his uncles but i get "he's to fat" from mostly old woman and i hate it he's not fat he's just a smidge above the average weight cos of his height and is giogn to be tall they need to mind there own business i think

Carly - posted on 06/15/2010

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I disagree with you leashes are NOT an easy or lazy way out for some mothers like me they are a nessicity to keep my child from running off or being put in danger as i'm sure other mothes would agree ...

Carly - posted on 06/15/2010

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I hate so called mothers that allow there kids to bully others what kind of mothers does this? and what kind of mother are they seriously???

Kara - posted on 06/15/2010

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difinatly would go bizerk if anyone smacked my son for anything...I don't do it so why should any one else. I also hate moms who go out drinking every weekend and drop their children on anyone who would have them

Ashley - posted on 06/15/2010

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I hate it when children have no manners. Getting bumped and no sorry, or helping a young child get food at a pot luck and no thank you or anything. Drives me crazy. What happend to Please, thank you, and sorry. I mean come on.

I also agree with the pet thing. (curently I have a 7 month old son, a dog and two cats. The animals are really wanting attention so I give it when I can but NEVER at the expence of my son) My sister in-law kicked her 12 year old son off the couch so her dog could sit beside her. I almost lost my lunch.

Finnaly the ignoring of their childs horrible behavior. When did we start letting children run our lives? That is why there is so much crime these days. YEISH!!!

I'm sure there will be more when my son gets older but that is what drives me crazy about other peoples parenting right now. Thanks for posting this. Nice to get it off my chest. lol

Danelle - posted on 06/15/2010

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I disagree with the breastfeeding a 2 year old. It is recommened that you breastfeed them until the age of 2 and even longer. I breastfed my first son till he was 2 and i have a 2 month old now that may breastfeed until he is 2. Dont like it dont look. (sorry its hard enough to get support now a days to breastfeed as it is)



And on the video game note. I do not believe in kids playing the violent games when there is many educational games out there that they can play.



Otherwise i agree with the other moms on here.

Carissa - posted on 06/15/2010

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my pet peeve is leashes... for real PICK your CHILD UP or put them in a stroller... matter of fact, i don't see the need in having a leash on a child unless there are medical problems. to me it's just pure laziness of the parents to not want to teach their child to simply hold your hand and stay with you... if it's taught from the first time they walk-- they wont forget! oh and moms who are on their cellphones and ignoring their kids when walking and their kids are either 5 steps ahead or 5 steps behind and the mother can just up and lose them... if that phone call isn't God or your mother, mother-in-law or someone really really important it can WAIT!

Annamari - posted on 06/15/2010

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i hate when a mom is telling me what to dowith my little angel i know what she wants

Fiona - posted on 06/15/2010

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i would be the same parents ignoring their kids bad behaviour, i used to work in supermarket and some kids would start to scream and throw tantrums and the parents would just let them get on with it.

[deleted account]

i agree with you, i know people like that.
at a play centre when parents completely ignore their rowdy kids hurting other kids and jumping all over the playground for the young kids when they have a play ground for their own age

Amanda - posted on 06/15/2010

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Definitely the ignoring their own childs bad behavior... Or just ignoring them in general... I found that a few times when visiting playgroups, some mums just sit there chatting without once looking up to check on their child!
I know playgroups are as much for the mums as the kiddies but still, its part of being a mum to always have one eye on your child no matter what task your doing!

Miranda - posted on 06/15/2010

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Obviously neglect and abuse from either parent. There is one thing that annoys me beyond belief and that is when I see a child that is like 3 or older and they still have a pacifier in there mouth; Especially when they are talking with it in their mouth still. I understand that it takes time to wean your child of a pacifier, blanket, lovey, etc. But there needs to be a line drawn by the parent! Sure it may be hard in the begining but then again so is pretty much everything!

Another thing that annoys me is other people telling mom's that their child is too skinny or too fat! When my son was born, he was a pretty good sized child, and he was very healthy and on a good growth pattern. My son was having a growth spurt at about 9 months and he shot up like 2 inches in a short amount of time and this woman I work with was like "he's too skinny, you need to feed him more" !!!!! I was so annoyed! I knew there was nothing wrong with my child, he is 16 months old and like 30 lbs and very tall for his age!

Jennifer - posted on 06/14/2010

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moms who just play on the computer all day ignoring their kid or kids, i had a friend who did that and her kid would just bully mine and she would just say hey stop and barely looking at her kid when saying so... i cant stand women who just ignore their kids and just think only of themselves if they only wanted to think of themselves they shouldn't have had kids

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2010

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There are usual things that I can't stand, like abuse and neglect. Nor do I stand for them. My Dh and I have no problem speaking up.



But there are things that drive me nuts on a less severe nature. Mostly, when other moms (and people in general) judge my baby.



Everyone kept harping that my baby didn't crawl until recently because she clearly must be held to much. And she is 13 months and doesn't walk.



First of all, every baby is different. And she is a talker. (I hear early talkers are late walkers and vice versa) She uses almost a dozen words already. Far more than her peers in her age group. And as it turns out, she has a hip problem. But its none of their business. So I don't explain. But I keep hearing about how I must hold her too much and it drives me NUTS.



Every baby is different. I could possibly point out a dozen things I don't like about their kids. But I don't. Because its not fair to judge the kids based on the parents. Leave me and mine be!

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2010

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Oh, I just read a post about letting kids play video games. I disagree.



My nephew was a premie. Born just shy of 7 months. My SIL had kidney failure. And although he grew up just fine, his hand eye co-ordination was concerning. Doctors actually recommended video games. My SIL had up until that point never played a video game before. And my Brother was never into as a kid. But they got one. And lots of games. But it worked. In fact, it worked very quickly.



And there was a recent study (I think by Columbia) that says its usually the kids that don't play video games that are the most likely to be violent. Something to do with social hierarchy. But I can't remember the University. I will have to look it up and post later. Ultimately it debunks the whole violent games cause violent children.



Sorry, I know its a little off topic. And I don't want this to come off as an attack. Just offering a difference of oppinion

Sarah - posted on 06/14/2010

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domestic violence/abuse/insults/arguing between two parents IN FRONT OF children.

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2010

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Ha, I had a crazy old bat approach me when I was pushing my daughter in the pram comment how cute my then two month old was. Then she asked me if I beat her. I was horrified. I said NO! NEVER! Then she began to lecture me that I should start young and teach her who's boss right from the start. I now cross the street when I see her. And to think, she raised three boys. Yikes!

Nikki - posted on 06/14/2010

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Anything that falls under the child abuse category, some people just should not be allowed to have children, other than that each to their own, I don't really care what people do with their own kids as long as they are not harming them. They are not my kids after all.

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