Tips on how to get my 4month old son to fall asleep in his own

Erin - posted on 09/30/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )




I have a 4 month old son and in order for him to get to sleep every night my boyfriend and I have to rock him to sleep. He is on a schedule. He gets a warm bath every night at around 8:30pm followed by a massage with baby lotion and a bedtime story. After that in order to get him to go to sleep he depends on his father and I to rock him to sleep. I've read so many different things on how you should put your baby down in his crib while he is still awake but drowsy. But everytime we have done this, he cries non-stop and doesn't fall asleep on his own. I was wondering if anybody had any suggestions as to what we should do.


[deleted account]

Personally when Angelo was 4 months I wasn't worried about him falling asleep on his own. However I was noticing he was starting hissy fits around 5 months for bed time so I slowly started to change him from being in my arms to lying in my bed and I'd lie beside him until he fell asleep. He cried for the first 3 or so days and then after that he'd lie down in the bed and go to sleep. After he'd fall asleep I put him right into his crib and he'd stay there for the rest of the night. NO sleeping in mommy's bed. They need to be comfortable and familiar with their cribs. After a month of doing that I put him in his crib, turned on the mobile and rubbed his back till he fell asleep. I did that for a week and half, after that I didn't touch him I just stood there until he fell asleep. And then one day I just put him in his crib, put on the mobile and left the room. And he's been sleeping on his own since and now he's a year and 7 months! They are going to cry, and that's ok. It hurts and you feel so bad but after the couple days of tears they get over it and fall into the new routine. Its hard but so worth it when you see your kid sleeping in their crib.

[deleted account]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, so I'd say just keep going with it - he'll get the idea eventually. You may try laying him down and staying near by, rubbing his back or something, to calm him without the rocking. That way you're taking a gradual step toward falling asleep independently. I think changing the routine too much, might make things worse, not better. Unfortunately, most babies can't get themselves to sleep on their own until they are 6 month or older. There's nothing wrong with rocking him to sleep at 4 months.

Melanie - posted on 10/02/2009




When he is ready he will fall asleep on his own...he cries because at this time he still needs you... Keep doing what yr doing and you will see in time he will surprise you and fall asleep on his own.

[deleted account]

i have several children aged 11wks to 7yrs i have always had a set bed time and put my children in their cots with the curtains closed regardless of wether they are awake or asleep from the day the have come home from the hospital and not had any problems. my friend did not have the heart to do that and had a baby that would not sleep without being rocked and woke up when she was laid down so i bought her a small multicoloured disco ball plugged it in and laid her in the cot she watched the colours it put on the wall spin around until she fell asleep then we turned it off and she only woke up for a feed and the process was repeated her mum did this for a couple of weeks reducing the amount of times it was used until it was only put on at bedtime but not during the night i prefer the way i do it with my own kids but different things work for different people i hope you find something that works for you but consistency is the most important thing

[deleted account]

Rocking your son to sleep is a bad start. The reason he won't do it on his own is because you have gotten him used to being rocked. When I had my daughter, my mother told me to never rock her to sleep and I didn't. I suggest your try wrapping him in his blanket and put on some lullabies for him. I did that with my daughter and she would always fall asleep on her own. At 9 months old, she still does. Good luck!

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Anna - posted on 01/19/2011




My fourn month old daughter had alot of trouble falling asleep by herself..we tried everything from letting her cry until she fell asleep , to rocking her until she screamed herself to sleep, the swing, the bouncer.. and the only thing that worked was to wrap her really tightly in a blanket and hold her Faceing you horizontally against your body ..she quieted down in minutes and once she stopped screaming we could lay her down..STILL tightly wrapped until she fell asleep.

Aimee - posted on 01/14/2011




i gave mine a teddy to cuddle its good for babys i got it from mother care its dumbo and he puts his thumb in his mouth and sucks the ear and he usto fall straight to sleep hope this helps good luck

Crystal - posted on 10/03/2009




My husband and I also had a hard time putting our daughter down to bed. We would always rock her to sleep and as soon as we put her in her cradle she would wake up screaming. Just in the past week we started something new and it seems to be working well. Our daughter is 2 months old now, and when we are ready for her to go to bed, we make sure she's had a good bottle and then we'll rock her for just a few minutes and whether she's alseep or screaming we put her down in her cradle with a lullaby CD playing. We tell her goodnight and walk away. If she's still crying we go in every few minutes without picking her up and just rub on her and talk to her for a minute and then leave again. The first few nights it took MANY trips in to console her, but now, she goes down so easy it's amazing. I think going in without picking her up just shows her she's safe and it's okay to close her eyes on her own and go to sleep. Good luck!

Sky - posted on 10/01/2009




We put my son in his jumper and he falls asleep with in 5 minutes then we put him in his bed. 6 mo old.

Nadine - posted on 10/01/2009




I had the same problem with my daughter. She was in the hospital for the first month and couldnt get upset or would turn blue so the nurses were constantly holding her. So when I got her home I had to break her of it the first think I did was hold her but not rock her and pat her back then went to right before she fell completely asleep putting her in bed and continue to pat her till she fell asleep then have just slowly stopped doing all of that. She now gets put in bed I give her her bunny and cover her then walk out and close the door. every once in awhile she still needs some help and I will stand next to her crib and pat her to sleep. It will be hard he will cry alot but whatever you do try your hardest not to pick him back up once you lay him down and he will start to understand that he can do it by myself. Good luck

[deleted account]

My daughter has a similar routine and she is 9mths old now. She has her dinner at approx 5-5:30pm then 6:30pm bath for 15mins to wash & play in the bath 6:45pm baby lotion massage and pj's on then 6:50pm bottle (roll over feed) and 7pm a bed time story if she hasn't gone to sleep already! Try to wear your baby out during the day so come night time he is so tired he should fall asleep easily-having said that it's not always the case!

Rocking baby to sleep in some books say it is a BIG no no because the baby will get used to the rocking motion in order to fall asleep. Hence you create the habit. Once bubs has a habit of going to sleep with you rocking him it is tricky to break it.

Maybe try and keep him up longer in the evening than his usual bedtime and wait until he can no longer keep his eyes open and then place him in his cot. You may have to do this for a week to break his usual routine until you establish another way of getting him to sleep-then bring back his bedtime to a more reasonable hour once he is used to going to sleep on his own. He will already know what is coming next as he can read the cues for bed time-bath, then massage and the bedtime story. Try mixing it up so bedtime story followed by a warm relaxing bath then a massage and maybe even a bottle before bed. Just a few ideas-Hope I have helped you!

Lucia - posted on 09/30/2009




My dauther head trable sleeping so we what 2 sleeping school. what u are doing is good, try puting the radio on. afther u finsh reading the books 2 hime put him down for bed and pat him on the back and have the radio on and he will go 2 sleep. it will take time. if not try diffrent things all the time. try the radio for a mounth and see how it gose. wirte back and thell me how u go. GOOD LUCK

Amanda - posted on 09/30/2009




my son is the same way ive tryed everything to get him to sleep on his own but he just wants me he doesent even like to be put down if he had his way i would be holding him all night

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