To find out or not to find out?

Kelly - posted on 06/02/2009 ( 35 moms have responded )

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We have a 2 and 1/2 month old son. We are hoping to fall pregnant soon and was wondering should we find out the sex or not. Wanting to hear from people who have found out and whether they regreted it or not and those who didn't find out

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Lauren - posted on 06/04/2009

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With our first daughter we found out...I think it eases the mind of first time parents to atleast have a grip on something.. but with our second we (by "we" i mean "i" lol) chose not to find out the sex. I think it made it a lot more exciting. We did the room neutral and bought some neutral baby clothes before she was born. The entire pregnancy everyone, family and strangers, told me I was carrying a boy, I even thought it for a while.. so we were beyond shocked (and thrilled) when she turned out to be a girl. when my husband or the doctor said it was a girl my [drugged up] response was.. ARE YOU SURE??? =)

Natasha - posted on 06/04/2009

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My boyfriend wanted to find out the sex of our baby. She is almost 3 months old. I really did not want to find out what we were having but in the end we did. I was glad i found out so i could prepare better. With our next kid i dont think i will find out what it is....even if my boyfriend wants to know i dont think i will find out because i want it to be a surprise. (he got his way with the first one)

Amanda - posted on 06/04/2009

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I have 3 kids and only found out for the first. But I felt it kind of took the surpise out of that day. The other 2 we didn't and it was great. The doctor would show my husband the baby and he would be the one to tell me. We picked out names for both sex's and I bought their "coming home" outfits for a boy and a girl and just returned the one I didn't need after they were born. I knew the baby would be fine if I had the same sex that I already had for clothes since I saved them. And at my baby shower people bought the important stuff and showered me with clothes at the hospital after the baby was born. I picked out two themes for the room and while still in the hospital my husband picked up the bedding so the crib was ready. I know it's easier to find out ahead, but it was so much fun hearing peoples guesses and it kept some supsence going! Good luck.

Katie - posted on 06/04/2009

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I found out with both of my children.My oldest child I just couldn't wait and wanted to know so bad.He was born in November 2007.My second child I wanted to know for the simple fact that I wanted to know if I could reuse all of my sons clothes or if I had to buy girl clothes.She was born Janaury 2009 so i had to get more girl clothes.I do not regret finding out for either of my children.I like to plan ahead.However,if I do have any more children that would be born in winter months I would not find out.I have clothes for both sexes if they are born in the winter so i wouldn't have to buy anything like that.



It is all up to you though.I know plenty of people who have waited and the excitement is the greatest thing for them.Good luck!

T_cjones108 - posted on 06/04/2009

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i had my first kid last july! i hate surprises but i really really wanted it to be suprised on dday. so for my first ultrasound my husband and i went in and the first thing i said is "WE DONT want to know the sex" lol iam not going to lie it was so hard not knowing! i think i was harder on friends and family then us. i had a horrible pregnancy i was sick right up untill he came into our world, my labour wasnt any better! i laboured for 24hrs and then i was off for a csection. i look back now almost a yr later and not finding out was the best thing i could have done because after all that i was told "its a boy" and i watched my husband cut some of the cord! i loved picking out names we had the hardest time pickin a girls name :D iam not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon but when i do i will again keep it a surprise!!! good luck and just follow ur heart

Stefani - posted on 06/04/2009

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I Just had my little girl , and i did Not find out the sex . it made everything so much better not knowing . it made alot of people angry we didnt find out but in the end it was So worth it

Lucy - posted on 06/04/2009

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My little girl is 8weeks now and i wanted to find out but my OH really didn't so we chose not too. i'm so so so glad we didn't find out, it made everything so much more exciting and it was nice phoning our parents and telling them what we'd had. I wouln't find out ifwe have another baby either!

Bridie - posted on 06/04/2009

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I hate suprises so I found out with our first and I'll be finding out with our second :) also I was positive it was a boy first time round and threatened all sorts if it was a girl but luckily I was right lol next time it doesn't matter what we have but I'd still like to be able to attribute a little personality to my bump when I have my head down the toilet for the whole 9 months :D

Eve - posted on 06/04/2009

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Hey Kelly, We are expecting our first baby very soon and i remember in the beginin of my pregnancy I wanted to find out the sex of the baby. My partner didnt want to which kind of put me back bcause whats the point finding out myself if he would not want to know anyway. Then i've been talking to my friend who has now few months old baby girl and she was saying how wonderfull it is when you dont know what you having till the very end when the baby arrives and so i agreed with my partner that we better of leave it as a surprise.

When i was 21st wks we went for a scan and baby was so active that you couldnt miss IT! He totally expressed Himself the little buga lol. Not born yet and cheeky already ha ha. However i dont regret that i know the sex of the baby. I kind of knew we having boy (I've had that feeling from the very start).

Good luck! ;-)

Mel - posted on 06/03/2009

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well i only have one daughter but i wanted to find out asap i would not be able to stand the suspense. most people i know find out however my 2nd cousin who is my age is expecting her first in july and she wont find out but im dying to know lol. I really wanted a girl and i got a girl. Now im trying for my second and im only hoping for a boy for my partners sake i really dont care what i get but most definately i will be finding out what im having again. my partner would prefer to wait but he knows i cant

Kelly - posted on 06/03/2009

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Thanks everyone. I am still in two minds. I want to find out so I can by the clothes but I also want the surprise at the end!! I don't think we will find out with this one either and just have a neutral nursery! Can't wait to fall pregnant and be a mum all over again!

Crystal - posted on 06/03/2009

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I couldn't find out soon enough! Found it was a girl at 20 weeks and was soooo happy; I think it just helps you to know your child THAT much more.

Jackie - posted on 06/03/2009

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I found out the sex of my baby and was glad that i did. I just couldn't wait. I wanted to buy the gender specific clothes. I found out that i was having a girl and we painted her room. I was just glad that the doctor was right otherwise we would have had lots of pink and purple clothes and a purple room.

Jocelyn - posted on 06/03/2009

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Quoting Natalia:

I didn't find out with my first, and was glad I didn't. With my second I had to have alot of ultrasounds so of coarse my last ultrasound I had to ask. The technician, was like "umm hmmm... I am thinking its a girl but I am not sure at all, since you are so far along its harder to tell" I was not happy with her answer... So I just pretended I didn't know what it was because I didn't want to think it might be a girl and end up coming out a boy. I definatly regreted finding out. I am now on my third and dont know what it is and can't wait for the surprise!!!


i'm curious now, was your first a girl or boy?

Jocelyn - posted on 06/03/2009

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i found out with my first (a boy) and i am preg again and we will try and find out the sex again. for me it was a matter of "i've wanted girls my whole life, if it turns out it's not a girl, then i need time to "mourn" the daughter that i almost had" in a way.
i've suffered from depression since i was 15, and suffered post pardum as well, but i do honestly think that it would have been worse, had i not found out the sex. knowing before hand let me bond with my son before he was born. it was a good thing for me :)

Cassie - posted on 06/03/2009

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I didnt find out with either of my children and i loved being surprised, nothing like hearing those words after all that work! Plus i think people are more excited when the baby is born because they can't wait to hear what it is! And everyone buys you clothing and gender specific stuff after the baby is born anyway so having some gender neutral stuff beforehand is fine because family and friends will be dying to buy you stuff once the baby is here! The only hard part for me was coming up with two names, i'm lucky my second was a boy because i honestly didnt have a girl name picked out at all! But my experience with not finding out was awesome!

Lindsay - posted on 06/03/2009

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I couldn't wait to find out with either of my pregnancies. I had so much fun during my pregnancy picking out the specific girl and boy clothes and decorating that it helped the time go by until baby got there. It was also nice becasue we decided on names and had all of our monogrammed stuff ready for when the babies got here. I personally felt more relaxed having everything ready before they got here. That just my personality type. I don't do well with suprises and never have. As a kid, I was always the snooper under the christmas tree! lol

[deleted account]

i found out with my first and my second.. i have a boy and girl.. i think with my 3rd when we decide to have one.. i wont find out.. i dont regret finding out with the others its just that i have one of each now so the next will be a surprise! best of luck whatever you decide to do x

[deleted account]

I didn't find out with my first, and was glad I didn't. With my second I had to have alot of ultrasounds so of coarse my last ultrasound I had to ask. The technician, was like "umm hmmm... I am thinking its a girl but I am not sure at all, since you are so far along its harder to tell" I was not happy with her answer... So I just pretended I didn't know what it was because I didn't want to think it might be a girl and end up coming out a boy. I definatly regreted finding out. I am now on my third and dont know what it is and can't wait for the surprise!!!

Charlie - posted on 06/03/2009

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i was so glad to find out that way i was well prepared before he came , i found it hard to shop for the baby before i knew his gender everything was either pink or blue and if it was a neutral colour then it had a boat or a butterfly on it .

[deleted account]

i found out 4 days before my 1st was born. I regreted it. I waited all that time just to find out 4 days before she was born. With my 2nd we waited. But since i had a planned c-section (medical reasons) the nurse came in and said 'ok Andrea lets go and have your little boy' i flipped out at her.



I didnt want to find out. I asked them not to record it on my records. I regreted finding out 4 days before my daughter and i was so annoyed.



I dont see the point in finding out. Even if i get gender specific clothes i find they are either to small or big and i have to buy new ones anyways. I find it fun shopping for the clothes after they are born. To take my baby out try things on them and make sure its going to suit them. For me TTC and pregnancy was nso medical i wanted something to be left magical - in a truely magical event in my life... Get the basicas in nutural colours - even light blues boys/girls can wear.

Kirstie - posted on 06/03/2009

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i dint find out with my first child but with my second child i did the only difference i found was that with the first one i didnt no what i was have so it was a great supprise at the end of all that hard work then noing with the second one when the dr said its a boy after all that hard work i was like oh i no im having my third now and dont think ill be finding out this time but everyone is different so just go with your heart good luck :)

Erin - posted on 06/03/2009

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I found out with my daughter and don't regret doing so for a second. I'd had a VERY strong feeling I was having a girl from the start and was too impatient to wait - not that I had a preference for either mind you. I guess it really is a personal choice. I decided to tell people I was having a girl but kept her name a secret so I would have that to announce when she arrived. And once my daughter was born I forgot all about girl or boy!! lol It was probably 10-15mins later when they were doing her check that I asked if it was indeed a girl :)

Nora - posted on 06/03/2009

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i gave birth just 3 months ago and i found out the sex of my baby when i was 3 months pregnant by the 4D ultrasound...and yes i was dying to find out honestly for sum good reasons,for start u will get to pick what kinda clothes to buy and prepare for yr baby from now ...the last thing u wanna do is buy stuff for the baby after he/she is born..it will be too much work for u that u can get done in advanced if u find out the sex of the baby earlier....also u get to furnish the room knowin what colors u can use for the baby pink or blue.....just lots of benefits r there for knowin the sex of the baby trust me...gives u time to to think of the name too.
when i found out i was having a boy...it gave me so much time to prepare his room and buying boys clothes also it gave my friends an idea on what to bring in my baby shower.
hope that helps.
Nora

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2009

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i found out with both of my girls, tho they did say both times that i shouldn't go out and buy all pink just in case they were wrong!! i was just too impatient not to know! two of my friends tho didn't want to know the sex of their babies as they wanted it to be a surprise. i think it's up to the individual really, i was perfectly happy knowing the sex, and it didn't detract from the joy at the birth....in fact both times after about 20 minutes i said 'was it a girl??' lol! i didn't find out because i wanted to prepare, our first daughters room was yellow anyway! i just wanted to know. but as i've said, my friends were really pleased they hadn't found out!
go with your heart! either way, as long as baby is happy and healthy it doesn't matter whether you found out or not because you will be so overwhelmed with love, it won't matter!!

Keri - posted on 06/03/2009

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We didnt find out the sex of our son... was the best decision ever made. The sex of our baby didnt matter to us as long as the baby was healthy happy with ten fingers and ten toes we were happy!!!

I cant describe the feeling of waiting all that time and then having that surprise after labour was the best moment of my life!!!

Alot of friends/pregnant friends kept saying "oh you cant prepare properly if you dont find out the sex" which is completelyuntrue! I was more prepared than most of them! You dont need pink or blue possessions to enjoy your bubby!! I think the more we can find out the more we want to know!!

How ever I have also had friends that really wanted one sex, and to those people I say find out to help them get over "gender let down" gives time to get used to the idea.

Kristina - posted on 06/03/2009

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Hi, i have 6wks left of my second pregnancy and again we opted not to find out the sex. For us, we look forward to the surprise and for myself its added motivation during labour!!!! Some people were annoyed with both pregnancies as they couldnt get gender specific items where as my partner and i didnt/haven't stressed about not being able to get blue or pink as when bub is born you get an overload of it......we did with our first born who was a girl and if this bub is a boy i have 3nephews and who know what we'll get 'he' is born. if we have another girl, she will have hand-me downs from her sister and probably get stuff brought for also......you know what to do when the time comes!!!

[deleted account]

I wish I didnt find out but in the ultrasound when they measured my sons legs his legs were wide open I knew it was a boy it was so obvious plus I had seen previously my sisters ultrasound of a boy so I knew what to expect. My next I hope to keep it a secret I really want to be able to give birth and my partner to say "its a..."

Nicole - posted on 06/02/2009

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I had to find out! I was hoping for a boy, and I kind of "knew" it was a boy even before we found out for sure. At my 12 week ultrasound the nurse said it looked like it might be a boy but it was too soon to tell. Then at my 20 week anatomy ultrasound we saw for ourselves it was a boy, lol! Every ultrasound I had after that I always asked "It's still a boy right?" just in case! I wanted to find out because I didn't want to have a lot of neutral stuff. The way I see it, it's just as much a surprise at 20 weeks (or whenever you find out) as it is on D Day!

Amy - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have a 3 year old boy that we didn't find out with and a 1 year old girl that we did find out but didn't tell anyone. that was a lot of fun to keep it a secret the whole time- was pretty hard though, I really wanted to tell someone:) We didn't really need to find out I just wanted to. Either way you'll be surprised, it's just a matter of being surprised at an ultrasound or in the delivery room, right? I felt like I was just so relieved to have her out and delivered that I wouldn't have cared if she was a boy or a girl.

Jodie - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have a 2 1/2 month old girl, and we didn't find out the sex for her. Yes, it was a little annoying for OTHER people (not us) because they wanted to know so they could buy us gender specific clothes....But, we did a neutral themed nursery, and I didn't mind the white, yellow, and green clothes. Once you have the baby, people are going to buy you tons of clothes, gender specific anyway. I am truly happy that we did not find out. The moment when she came out and we heard the words, "It's a girl!" was one of the best moments of my life. What a great surprise!!! I say don't find out :)

Vicki - posted on 06/02/2009

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My friend and mother of my son's older half-brother just had her second, and had been told it would be a girl, with 85 percent certainty. It was a boy.

Alicia - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have a five year old son and am expecting my second child in October. My husband and I decided to find out at our anatomy ultrasound and we are happy to announce we are having another boy. I do not regret finding out. It has only helped our five year old adjust more in my opinion. In the end, you're having another baby and its exciting. Its really a family decision! Good luck!

Jess - posted on 06/02/2009

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im also due in august and i found out too but god forbid if there wrong i will also have tonnes of pink clothes. but i bought white clothes for the hospital and everything else ill wash after shes born so it can be returned if necessary.. but i think seen as its ur second bub its always nice to have a suprise... i think alot of people find out for their first to feel more prepared about becoming a mother but then each to their own.. really i think it doesnt make u any more prepared and a suprise can always be so nice if you're willing to wait. :-)

Krysten - posted on 06/02/2009

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I'm pregnant with my first now, and due in September. I wanted to find out the sex ASAP! Personally, I did not want to shop for yellow and green items. I wanted specifically pink or blue items for my baby. Although, if we wind up having a boy (we've been told we're having a girl) I'm gonna regret having all this pink stuff. So not finding out would benefit there. However, in my opinion I think it's better to know what you're having. That way you can pick out a name and actually imagine your child. Then again, if you like surprises then don't find out. Me, personally, I couldn't do that. It would kill me to not know.... Good luck!

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