Katie - posted on 01/24/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )
well... let me just give you a little background on my situation and catch you ladies up real quick...
September 5th, 2008: i meet Brad. we set up a date for a week later and have the most amazing date of my life. i fell instantly. a week after that, i give in and spend the night with him and *whoops* made our son Memphis. Brad stood up and was a man, a daddy, and also the most supportive boyfriend, scratch that, PERSON in my life. soo, in a short amount of time, we had been through ALOT and stayed together, not because we felt like we had to but because we loved eachother.
NOW: we have stayed together through everything, moved in together, and made our own little unconventional little family. from day one everyone has told us "you have to get married, you have a baby together" but were successful in ignoring all the pushy people's worried suggestions. we wanted to do it when the time was right and we felt that we, as a couple, were ready for that step. everything else in our relationship was rushed, so we wanted to have atleast one aspect that was completely our decision and on our own terms.
lately we have been experiencing financial trouble and Brad chose to speak to a lawyer. THIS is where my problem lies... his lawyer half jokingly suggested we get hitched for the financial gain. Brad apparently took it to heart and came home to pose this suggestion to me. he said that he had been thinking about it anyway, and wanted to make our family official. the lawyer's mention of it was the final push to open up to me about it. not exactly the romantic proposal i had always dreamed of but definatly the man of my dreams. we dont have alot of cash but our idea is to run away to key west, marry on the beach just the two of us and come back and have a reception or small dinner. (btw.. this is EXACTLY the wedding i had always dreamed of, money or not). he wants to tell people about it now, but his initial reaction was that we'd marry alone and keep it a secret until he could afford a big fat wedding. (he's catholic and had been married before and thought that was the only way to do it). i don't like that he wanted to be secret about everything or that his lawyer is pretty much the one who asked me to marry him. we've had some fights about this lately and i'm just not sure if i were to say yes (which i really really want to!) if HE would be going through with it for the right reasons..... help.
ps. sorry for the lengthy problem. No one i can really talk to in my life about this. big big decision here. thank you for those of you who took the time to read through this and offer advice!