Toddlers at a funeral??

Amy - posted on 09/13/2011

Now that my mom has passed and I did take my daughter to everything, simply said that grandma is sleeping, didn't let her see her. I take back my other comment, it is a JOY to see babies and kids at funerals and visistations and it brings the life back to the picutre. I had people there for a backup though. It will make the older people pastor or whomever does the service as well by the little things that are said as well. I am sorry that you lost a loved one. Here to talk if you would like.

Sharelle - posted on 09/12/2011

Along with all the other answers....keep in mind that it is always better to have hundreds of kids in the pews of the church/funeral home...than one in the casket :(

Stifler's - posted on 08/06/2011

If no one could babysit I'd just take them. But I wouldn't take my kids to a funeral because there would be no point going I would have to attend to them the whole time anyway.

Amy - posted on 08/06/2011

I had childcare set up for when I went to a funeral, I wouldn't have wanted my child to be disruptive at a time of morning. There might be a small room off to teh side that is a cry room or something if that is the case then go for it. I was at a funeral that had toddlers and babies and they started crying and it was in the middle of the speech so it was hard, I was glad that I didn't bring my little one.

Teresa - posted on 08/06/2011

even for the viewing, i had my 2 or 3 year old son taken in. i'm uncomfortable with seeing people after they died but wanted my son to see his great great grandma one more time so my bro in law took him in. we talked about her a lot after that to help him understand. every funeral i've ever been to has had little kids present. if your little one was invited i'd bring them to the funeral. you need to be ready to take your little one out or stand in the back to keep them quiet. bring a color book or a car or doll or something to keep enterained. its no ones business outside of family members if you took a little one to a funeral. its part of life and its your life and family. you should be able to go to the funeral with your child

Amy - posted on 08/06/2011

Hi,
I took my 18month old son to my husband's, nan's funeral, because my mother in-law thought it would be good for everyone to see him, and thought it would help lighten the mood, and it was fine, we took a few of his favourite toys to keep him entertained, and he was very good, and quiet through the service, and then at the wake he was going around talking to everyone, and offering cudlles, which seemed to help. At the end of the day though, it is completely up to you, I was told that I wasnt allowed to take him to my grandad's funeral when he was 2.5, but I thinkn it's all to do with the rest of the family, if you have been asked to bring him, then it should be ok :)

Shana - posted on 08/05/2011

My best friend died last October and my daughter was 11 months old, she came to the funeral/viewing because Amanda loved her so much, and I talked to her mom afterwards about my daughter being there and she said "Oh honey, this is such a horrible day and that little girl reminds everyone what's good in life, I'm very happy she came" So, I think it is completely appropriate especially if your son was close with her. I'm sorry for your loss.

Kylie - posted on 08/05/2011

my son is often baby sat by my grandma (his great-grandma) if she passed on i would think he would be there, if for nothing else but to help explain about how she is gone. plus your family probably won't mind his behviour as he is only very little, and if your nana would ahve wanted him there really nothing else matters.

Janessa - posted on 08/05/2011

If his grandmother wants him there, I say it would be just fine.

Rachel - posted on 08/05/2011

I've either been pregnant or with a little one for the last couple of funerals I've attended. Nothing helps you understand the circle of life like having a new life present. Yes they will make noise and yes they will giggle. Kids are happy and they bring joy. Just be responsible: have snacks, beverages, and quite toys and someone who will take turns watching the kids. I received so many complements for bringing my kids and they hug everyone. I don't know your culture but my husband and I hail from large Irish Catholic families and this is our norm. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/05/2011

when my brother-in-law died I took my 3 yr old to the funeral and a friend as a back up. When my emotions where out of control and my daughter began to act out I asked my friend to step in and take my daughter outside for a walk.

Nikki - posted on 08/05/2011

I did not take my toddlers to the funeral home but I did take them to the graveside service for my grandmother, but only becasue my grandpa wanted them there. I never allowed them to see the body, I didn't try to force an explanation, I waited until they asked.

It was difficult and has been ever since. But there were 7 children there under the age of 3, all great-grandchildren and great nieces and nephews. She loved them all and I am sure she would have been happy tht they were there for her.

Samara - posted on 08/04/2011

I agree with the pps. I don't think I would take my ds to the viewing but I see no problem to have him there for the funeral. I had to take him to a friends funeral because I didn't have anyone to help or watch him and everything was fine. He was a little over a year. I just made sure he had his toys (quiet of course) and drink and snack and he was great. You know your child best though. If you don't think he can handle it, get a sitter (I know mine had time when he wasn't going to sit still at that age.I think I really just got lucky with the timing of the funeral now that I think about it.) I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and yours!

Dianne - posted on 08/04/2011

my grandmother died last year and it never crossed my mind not to take my son (just over 1) as family was everything to her, all the family were there including all the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren (3 around 1yo, a 2yo, a 3 and a 4yo etc all the way up to teens) the youngest even had a small toy box provided for them (no noisy elec toys though) they were of course not taken in to view but even when they made noise, had a squeal or cry it just added to the funeral and was a reminder that nanas house was pretty much never without those things and she loved it that way.

Carolee - posted on 08/04/2011

A man my husband has known for 30 years' funeral was the other day. We did not take our kids (4 years and 1 year) to the viewing or funeral, but we did stop by their house afterwards (after they had had dinner and most of the people had left) to give our condolences to his wife. My husband went to the funeral without us. I didn't know him well, so we felt this approach was appropriate. Just go with what you're comfortable with.

Alexandra - posted on 08/04/2011

Thanks ladies for all the advice ♥

Love♥My♥Kids - posted on 08/04/2011

A lot of funeral homes now offer a "class" for children involved in the grieving process. I do not know about all funeral homes, but I can speak for the ones near me... They have playrooms for the children. It might be a good idea to see if you can bring a friend who is willing to play with your child if there is a playroom accessible. And, honestly, it isn't a bad thing for children to be around. Yes, they can get noisey at times... however, it brings smiles to those who are there and a moment to think about how precious life is - even at a young age. I think that if you feel it is okay to bring your toddler, then do so!
No one should look at you negatively for bringing your child. It is all a part of the process of life. And, it is okay to bring children - even if your culture typically looks down on it. :)

Marjolaine - posted on 08/04/2011

i had a dear friend pass away a few weeks after my son was born he wanted to see my son before he passed but wasnt able to my friend was always a happy person and didnt want any one to feel too sad for him at his funeral he was in a happy place so for that i brought my son he was laughing and gigling but so was the reverend as he was making jokes at the sermon bringing my son helped everyone feel a lil better and thats what he wouldve wanted its really up to you if you dont feel comfortable bringing your child then dont but if your ok with it and so are the ppl that are going to be there then bring him. but after the funeral if i dared tell n e one i had brought him to a funeral at such a young age i was frowned upon but i kept my head high it was for a purpose it was for my friend, not to meet the standards of other ppl. good luck and im sorry for your loss