Trying to get my 6 month old to sleep in his crib

Andi - posted on 04/21/2009 ( 34 moms have responded )

84

15

13

So... I am trying the "put your baby down while drousy but still awake, let him cry and go back in every 10 min to pat/sush/kiss but don't pick up" problem is, he keeps rolling over and throwing a HUGE fit! We have a good day routine that he is used to and does really well. Then we have a bedtime routine of bath, song/rock then I lay him down. I used to get him whenever he would cry and rock/breastfeed him or just let him sleep with us but I am trying to make him sleep on his own without getting up so much during the night. I just started trying to put him down while still kind of awake and leave. Then he starts crying. ALOT!Whenever I go back in hes on his tummy, turned around, and trying to sit up. I just don't see how he could possibly fall asleep that way. It seems like he is getting too worked up and letting him "cry it out" is not going to work. HELP!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Erika - posted on 01/04/2012

42

32

5

my kids were and are the same way!! i cant remember for the life of me how i gotmy 3 yr old to sleep on his own or all night for that matter, i now have a 6 month old who went from sleeping all night and sleeping in to wling up every hr to breast feed!! and ended up bringing him to bed with me too jsut so i wasnt getting up so much, but now, he wont sleep anywhere but with me ! i really liked a lot of these replys you got though and im hoping one of them solves this problem!! good luck!

Jenice - posted on 04/24/2009

10

14

0

I had to let my daughter figure out how to put herself to sleep...and some nights that means she will cry it out. It's hard to hear, but you can tell the difference in cries, and when she gets hysterical I go in to comfort her. I try not to pick her up, because once I do, getting her back in is a nightmare! I made the mistake of letting her fall asleep with me until she was over 6 months old, and babies need to be able to put themselves to sleep....that way if they wake up in the night they can go back to sleep on their own.

On the nights when she's crying, I only go in every 10 minutes. It's hard, but she actually seems to get more worked up if we go in. Sometimes kids are just so tired and overwhelmed that they need to be able to cry a little before sleeping.

I am a firm believer that babies need to know that if they cry, Mommy (or whoever their caregiver is) will be there. But after 6 or 7 months, they really aren't babies anymore...my daughter was pretty calculating at that point!

The other thing I find is that a very strict schedule does wonders. We always do the same things, say the same things, eat the same things, sit in the same place. For some reason, it's a comfort to her....I guess she knows what's coming next. Plus, it makes it so much easier to put her down if we're at someone else's house.

Kids are funny....once you think you've figured them out, they change something else! Just decide on something and stick with it! It takes 21 days to develop a habit, and kids usually need to see or experience things 7 or more times before they accept them. Good luck!

Liz - posted on 04/21/2009

82

4

7

I use the Fisher-Price aquarium in my 7 month old's crib. As soon as he gets worked up I switch it on and he is mesmerized! He watches the fish go around or spins the toys around with his toes until he nods off. The Sleep Sheep works well too, lots of good white noise that can go for 20 minutes or 45. Good luck :)

Marysa - posted on 04/22/2009

13

6

2

Quoting Alexis:

Crying worked for us. Yes it sucks to listen to it, its suppose to. Yes it took longer than two nights. It took us around 2 weeks. Now at 7months, she knows what time is nap time, when i put her in her crib, she talks to her little heart beat sound toy lamb and then lays down all on her own and goes to sleep. Yes she is a baby but she is more than capable of going to sleep on her own, before she just also knew that if she cried hard enough momma would come get her. I refuse to believe it causes psychological problems. It is no different then a teenager having a fit because you wont let them go out when they have to study. Children and you will not always like the decisions you have to make for them. No book will have it completely right for your family...you just have to keep trying until you find what works for you. I hope you find something that works soon.


I completly agree that crying does not cause psychological damage in babies!! Sometimes "tough Love" is what has to be done. We don't like it anymore then they do but it has been proven to work. Besides, name one kid that remembers having to cry themselves to sleep at 6 months old....

Jenice - posted on 04/24/2009

10

14

0

The only thing about putting on some sort of noise for comfort is that if you're ever away (on vacation, or at a babysitters), it's really, really hard to get them to go to sleep without it. If you absolutely need the noise, then make sure it's something you can replecate somewhere else...like a cd, or static on a stereo.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

34 Comments

View replies by

Melissa - posted on 04/25/2009

17

12

2

when my son went from the bassinet in our room to the crib in his room i had to eliminate the baths at night and start a different routine. his grandafther bought him the fisher price aquarium and that became part of the routine. we would go in and turn that on and we would face the crib so he could see the lights and movement and rock him till he was dopey then put him in his crib in which ever position was closet to the way i was holding him (tummy side or back) he would fuss for a bit then just fall into a deep sleep and i would put him on his back. as for flipping onto his tummy on his own, we would make sure he had the anti roll blocks so it was more difficult for him to flip over on his own. or another thing, maybe its hard for him to go from a warm snuggle to a cold crib, so try warming the area with a hot water bottle. of course never using hot water but warm water and throw it under his blanket for a bit, like while you do the other parts of the routine. then make the switch. hopefully not having a dramatic temperature change between your arms and the crib will make it more tolerable for him to switch. my son has been sleeping for about 8 hours a night since 3 months old and we don't change the routine much.

Candice - posted on 04/24/2009

10

11

0

what time are you feeding, bathing then putting him down? My son is now 4 years and he first slept right through from 5 months. My daughter is now 6 months on the 6th and she is already sleeping through from 6pm to 6am. I give her formula at about 5pm then give her solids- guavas & yoghurt, or apple or banana puree at about 6pm. I then put her in a bath, when finished i massage her with lavender cream, dress her. Myself and son sing twinkle twinkle little star softly, then put her to bed awake. thats been her routine since birth. she then falls asleep. I did notice though that the passage light has to be on peering through her room, not too much light. she has to realise the difference between day and night. And the other thing i noticed that sometimes she wants to be wrapped up like a newborn. If your baby is crying and throwing tantrums, your baby know that he can get his way by doing that. My baby girl rolls on her tummy too, it used to irritate me so i would go in and turn her around, untill one night i left her with quiet checking, she now prefers to sleep on her tummy. My son prefered to sleep on his back. Even if it looks like he can suffocate, he cant. His instincts wont allow him to, his neck muscles are strong enough to move his head away should he want to. I had to leave my son to cry a couple of nights before he realised that this was the way it was supposed to be. Try not to get stressed when he crys, its hard. So try putting on some loud soothing music on in the lounge to help. also, your son might just be used to a bit of comfort noise, try putting a radio in his room and put it on a station you like, my kids sleep with the radio. It gives them comfort hearing voices, it make them feel less alone. When you go to bed, put it off. when you wake up, put it back on, leave it on all day, even through his afternoon naps. it will start sounding familiar to him and bedtime wont be an issue anymore. HE MUST GO TO BED AWAKE, you needent put him to bed drousy, he seems to get crabby when he's interuppted.

Sherri - posted on 04/24/2009

6

8

1

Quoting Marysa:

i know this might seem a little off the wall, but it worked for me. i would lay my daughter down on her pillow length wise and get her favorite blanket and cover her up. i would sit on the couch or in my bed with her until she fell asleep then pick up the whole set up and lay her in bed that way. I think it was the constant temperature that kept her asleep. My parents (who have 8 kids) told me many babies don't like the temp change... maybe that will help.... ???


Well, that is clever! I will have to try that one!

Joyce - posted on 04/23/2009

12

7

1

Put him in there and let him cry. I did it with my second one and he is almost 2 now and he does not fight me when I put him in his playpen. He tells me night night and we say prayers and as I am slipping out his door he yells love you

Katherine - posted on 04/23/2009

2

25

0

My 18 month daughter went through a stage like this. She quit sleeping through the night at 7 months and then picked it back up at 1 year. We figured out that she was hungry and was only waking up to eat. As soon as we switched her to regular milk she and slept all through the night without waking up. Try giving him cereal or feed him right before he goes to bed. Sometimes that will help. Also we have teddy bears and two music toys in her crib or on her crib, that has worked well for her. I have also quit using her monitor because I would wake up everytime she woke up crying and want to go get her. Now she has learned to self soothe with her music and toys.

Andi - posted on 04/23/2009

84

15

13

well... Eli is finally falling asleep better on his own (last night it was only 20 min of crying and I only went back in once during that) but he is still waking up two times during the night. He woke up at 3:30 and would not calm down for over 1/2 an hour so I fed him and put him back in his crib and, to my surprise, he fell asleep! I think he is getting the picture that he needs to go to sleep when he is in his crib but I just wish he would sleep through the night!

Nichola - posted on 04/23/2009

4

24

0

i went through exactly the same my baby is now one and luckily is out of the bad habbit as i have another little one on the way. with mine i gave her a bottle before bed then just left her in her cot, i didnt go in every 10 mins i left it to every 20 mins, i went in, didnt speak to her, kissed her on the fore head and put her back down with a thin sheet covering her. it took upto 3 hours a night some nights. you really do want to tear your hair out at this stage. if it has got to 3 hours your baby is likely to be hungry so having another bottle prepared is a good idea, give the baby a bottle to feed themselves in the room, listen from outside the door, you dont weant them to choke..

a good idea is to leave them either with a night projector light that sings so they arnt in pitch black, also leave the hallway light on and the door wedged slightly, it does get easier each night, although it can take over a week to get that routine and alot of tears will be shed by you both. also classical music on low in the bedroom is a relaxing option for baby. my baby now takes a bottle with her into her cot between 7-730 and falls asleep with it, sometimes upside down in her cot, and on her tummy. if they find this way comfortable, let them fall asleep that way. and turn them when they are asleep. my baby still wakes 2/3 times through the night then is wide awake at 6am so i cant perform miricles im afraid but good luck xx

Marysa - posted on 04/22/2009

13

6

2

i know this might seem a little off the wall, but it worked for me. i would lay my daughter down on her pillow length wise and get her favorite blanket and cover her up. i would sit on the couch or in my bed with her until she fell asleep then pick up the whole set up and lay her in bed that way. I think it was the constant temperature that kept her asleep. My parents (who have 8 kids) told me many babies don't like the temp change... maybe that will help.... ???

Emily - posted on 04/22/2009

3

0

1

I'm afraid I am with Brenda on this one. I had the same problem with my second child. I didn't always leave the room but I would put my daughter down and then sit in the corner of the room where she could see me. the first night I would talk to her reassuring her that I was there and she was safe. the second night I sat in the corner and sang to her, no words directly to her. the third night I just sat in the corner, this night was the easiest. The fourth night I sat for about 5 min then whispered, I am going to go in the other room but I will be near if you need me, when she got to upset I would come back in and just sit then repeat the process (i only did it twice before she crashed), the 5th night I layed her down and told her I would be in the other room but near if she needed me... no problems

Melissa - posted on 04/22/2009

34

29

2

Hi! my son is 6months old and until about three nights ago I had been putting him in his crib all ready asleep. I had been doing that since he was about 3months. I'm lucky in the fact that he slept through the night early on. 3 nights ago I decided I need to start putting him to bed awake so I won't regret not doing it later on. I was expecting it to be abig fight but was very surprised by how he took to it right away. I made sure to keep him awake a little longer than normal after his last feeding and then brought him upstairs in his room, undressed him and changed his diaper. I also used some lavender scented nighttime lotion on him but made sure to warm it up in my hands before applying it. Then I put him in his pj's sat down in the rocking chair and read to him. I couldn't even find my baby books so I've been reading Twilight to him lol. It doesn't matter what I read as long as I keep my voice soft and monotone and I just keep reading until he's sleepy. Also I try not to make alot of eye contact with him because that seems to make him wanna play more. The first night I waited until he was very groggy before laying him down. Each night since I've put him down a little more alert. Then i just cover him up, shut off the light and leave the room. I do however leave a radio playing soflty for background noise. He seems to understand all ready that this is his bedtime routine and he needs to go to sleep. The structure has worked so far and he's only woken up once since we started this and he went back to sleep within 5 minutes!! I hope if you try this it works for you! Good luck and be patient!

Maria - posted on 04/22/2009

6

46

0

I agree with what you say Alexis, because both my 2 and 5 yr old cry and try the whole tantrum and I don't let them get away with it and let them cry out, because they know better and that if they don't like my choice which is best for them, they have to deal with it...so why not try letting the baby cry so she understands she can put herself to sleep.

Maria - posted on 04/22/2009

6

46

0

Yeah but what happens when you're husband doesn't follow what you're doing? And how do you work around putting her up with her 2 yr old sister who wakes easily and have a crying baby learning to sleep on her own at the same time? Right now we have a portable crib in our room and a crib upstairs so the baby sleeps in our room.

Alexis - posted on 04/22/2009

14

11

1

Crying worked for us. Yes it sucks to listen to it, its suppose to. Yes it took longer than two nights. It took us around 2 weeks. Now at 7months, she knows what time is nap time, when i put her in her crib, she talks to her little heart beat sound toy lamb and then lays down all on her own and goes to sleep. Yes she is a baby but she is more than capable of going to sleep on her own, before she just also knew that if she cried hard enough momma would come get her. I refuse to believe it causes psychological problems. It is no different then a teenager having a fit because you wont let them go out when they have to study. Children and you will not always like the decisions you have to make for them. No book will have it completely right for your family...you just have to keep trying until you find what works for you. I hope you find something that works soon.

Maria - posted on 04/22/2009

6

46

0

Once we get her, she's no longer crying and or screaming per say but it's like she wants to play.....I've tried the methods to pat her on the back and all that stuff to get her to go back to sleep, but then she still wants to be held (maybe that's my problem, but I'm not into having a child cry forever just to teach them that you can't cry to get what you want, they're a baby, that's how they communicate) and yes so we cosleep and realistically since her teeth have come in or when they're really bothering her, she doesn't sleep as well..That and during the day she has 2-3 naps about an hour to two hours long, so I know she's not overtired, but I just don't know how to cope with her wanting to play at 2am. I have 3 kids, and well it's harder on me when I don't get the sleep I need.

Andi - posted on 04/22/2009

84

15

13

Quoting Maria:

You ladies are sooo lucky. I've been going through all the same things, read up on these methods, and my daughter is now 8 months, and still waking up in the middle of the night 2-3 times. For about a week she started sleeping from 9/10pm-4am and the last couple nights waking up bright eyed and bushytailed not wanting to go back to sleep again. Since she's done this before a lot. It also doesn't help when my husband gets home from work late so that jostles her and then she'll hear music/tv (though my husband is trying to watch that in the living room now rather than in our room). She won't go to my husband, but I'm really all alone on the sleep training and sleep schedules. We're still breastfeeding and I'm trying not to feed her at night, but I end up doing so as a last resort. What can I do?


ya, last night he slept from 7:30-3:30 and woke up screaming and crying and WOULD NOT go back to sleep :(  I ended up feeding him and he fell back asleep until 5:30 when he wokeup screaming again. He acts like something is wrong, not just that he wants attention. but i don't know :(   *pouts

Maria - posted on 04/22/2009

6

46

0

You ladies are sooo lucky. I've been going through all the same things, read up on these methods, and my daughter is now 8 months, and still waking up in the middle of the night 2-3 times. For about a week she started sleeping from 9/10pm-4am and the last couple nights waking up bright eyed and bushytailed not wanting to go back to sleep again. Since she's done this before a lot. It also doesn't help when my husband gets home from work late so that jostles her and then she'll hear music/tv (though my husband is trying to watch that in the living room now rather than in our room). She won't go to my husband, but I'm really all alone on the sleep training and sleep schedules. We're still breastfeeding and I'm trying not to feed her at night, but I end up doing so as a last resort. What can I do?

Sara - posted on 04/22/2009

9,313

50

584

I recommend "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber. Even if you don't follow the method, there's a lot of great information in there about sleep. Also, it takes more than a couple of nights to do this, it can take up to two weeks depending on how you want to do it. I would really suggest reading about the method and then trying to do it, not just trying to wing it. It is frustrating, but it does work. I will say, it does not work for every child, but I don't think you can judge it based on a couple of nights. Good luck!

Candace - posted on 04/21/2009

8

8

1

I had the same problem. This is my first child and it made me nervous to let her sleep in her room. She slept with me until she was about four months. It was hard to get her to sleep in her crib but now (8months old) she sleeps through the night every night.

It is really hard to do it this way but we tried everything you did and nothing worked. I would put her into her crib at 830 (her bedtime), turn on her night light and shut her door. I would sit and listen to her on the moniter. I hated doing it but I would let her cry herself to sleep. It would take sometimes twenty minutes. But I wouldnt go into her room at all. Once she was asleep I checked on her to make sure she was covered and everything. It seems heartless but I didnt know what else to do. For about a week she would cry for a little while before falling asleep. And if she woke up in the night I would pick her up and bottle feed her and put her back to sleep. My mom told me that doing this gets her into a habit of waking up each night so I also stopped that. If she woke up I would wait within 10 mins she was back to sleep and she got into a routine and would sleep great.

I will be hard but if you cant get anything else to work give it a shot and dont let him sleep out of his crib. You might have to start all over again.

I hope I was of some help. Good Luck!

Sybil - posted on 04/21/2009

69

6

7

Yeah mine is similar i have the safari one before they switched it over to the ocean theme..it works great my son also in mesmorized by it too

Andi - posted on 04/21/2009

84

15

13

Quoting Liz:

I use the Fisher-Price aquarium in my 7 month old's crib. As soon as he gets worked up I switch it on and he is mesmerized! He watches the fish go around or spins the toys around with his toes until he nods off. The Sleep Sheep works well too, lots of good white noise that can go for 20 minutes or 45. Good luck :)



ya I was thinking of getting something like that. which one did you get?

Jennifer - posted on 04/21/2009

2

17

0

I know this may sound a little funny but it really worked for me. When my 6 year old was a baby he wouldn't sleep in his crib either until I put a shirt that I had wore that day around a pillow or something so he could smell that I was still around him. After that I didn't have a problem getting him to lay in the bed or stay asleep in the bed.

Chelsea - posted on 04/21/2009

1,046

12

162

Quoting Jennifer:

you might try to refer to the baby book by the dr sears family there is a section on attachment parenting and a section on getting babies to sleep well.


such a wonderful book!

Chelsea - posted on 04/21/2009

1,046

12

162

Quoting Brenda:

I always thought letting them cry it out was mean until my 6 month old would not even go near his room at night time. He just slept with us. I finally decided that enough was enough and waited until he was sleepy. Then would put him in his crib. You want to talk about crying it was screaming. Thirty minutes later and still crying I would go to give in and my husband would say "no he'll be fine". He eventually cried himself to sleep. Harsh I know!! But let me tell you, it only took 5-7 days and we had our bed back and our quiet, no kids, only adult time. Was definitely worth it and the baby sleeps better now too. He has plenty of room to move around without one of us crushing or elbowing him. Just decide to do it and have someone there to keep you to stick to it. Before you know it your baby will be sleeping in his room. I promise!


This method of "cry it out" is not recommended even by those who recommend the "cry it out" method.  Leaving a child to cry endlessly causes them to have psychological damage.  And no Brenda you wont be able to tell now but you will in 20 years so save the post on how he is so happy and healthy now.  

Brenda - posted on 04/21/2009

5

13

0

Whatever environment your baby falls asleep with is the environment he expects to be in if he wakes up in the middle of the night. If something is different it confuses them and can be scary. If the t.v. is on when he falls asleep keep it on all night!

Jennifer - posted on 04/21/2009

6

8

0

you might try to refer to the baby book by the dr sears family there is a section on attachment parenting and a section on getting babies to sleep well.

Chelsea - posted on 04/21/2009

1,046

12

162

I would suggest trying putting on white noise. If putting him down awake does not work I would also suggest laying down in your bed/rocker in his room (whichever triggers him to know it's time to sleep). When he is asleep put him in his crib. If he cries go outside the door and count to 60 if he's still crying go back in and pick him up and choose something to sooth him (bounching, singing etc.) do it for the same amount of time and then put him back in his crib and repeat. I know this sounds draining but it is a way to show your baby that you're there and that going to sleep is a positive experience. Children that are left to cry develop problems latter on in life (I think you already know that from reading your post). This is what has worked for me.

Sybil - posted on 04/21/2009

69

6

7

hmm he started sleeping through the night by atleast 5 months maybe four but to be honest he still sleeps with me too(he is 7 months now). He never liked to sleep in his crib at first so he slept with me but i usually rock him to sleep then lay him down and i make sure he is really out or i put him in the swing and let that rock him to sleep then switch him to the crib...does he wake up easily if he is moved?? DO u have stuff in the crib that he can look at something musical that lights up bc my son likes to loook at those and sometimes just that can put him to sleep

Andi - posted on 04/21/2009

84

15

13

well I tried that but as soon as I layed him down he would wake up crying and arching his back. how old was yours when he started sleeping through the night? thats the real problem here. he still wakes up 2 or 3 times wanting out of his crib so I am trying to teach him that bedtime means bedtime and he needs to go to sleep on his own when he wakes up during the night

Sybil - posted on 04/21/2009

69

6

7

Maybe put him in bed to sleep with you then once he is out take him back to his crib..work him that way into the crib routine....my son has problems with that too..he sometimes can just lay in there and i put on music and he falls asleep but other times he cries and rolls over and like u said trying to pull himself up..i usually just rock him again until he is out for good then put him back in his crib. I personally think letting them cry it out is mean so i don't let him do that

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms