Unhelpful, Useless Partner! Anyone have/had the same situation?

Rose - posted on 01/28/2012

Yes! My husband is a loser! He pretended to go to work but went to his friends instead, then any money he did make he would gamble away and tell me another Rediculous story every week about why the power was being cut off. STILL he had the nerve to sleep on the couch alllllllll day and tell me to shush with our crying baby..this was from the day she was born. Now I live in another house and he never comes to see her, never helps with money, and he got everything in our seperatin because he was such a whiny bitch. Useless useless useless ..that's not even the half of it. :rolleyes:

Teri - posted on 06/11/2010

He wants to get away? away from what? hes gone all week.
Ask him. Calmly.

Amanda - posted on 05/14/2010

I've had this problem for about four years.It's a little different. My spouse is lazy!!! We have three kids,1,2, and 4. My husband stays home with the kids and dosn't work. I work two jobs, my full time job is a toddler teacher. I am around kids all day, I come home to toys and dirty clothes on the floor. Messy kitchen, dirty diapers all over it's crazy. I walk in change clothes and it's true that WORKING MOMS DO HAVE A SECOND SHIFT WHEN THEY GET HOME!! I get right to work, change the two in diapers, pick up toys,trash, vaccum, dishes, laundry, and bathe kids. He does cook dinner, but thats because he is hungry too. Oh then there is me asking every night 'What do you do all day?" Many times I too feel like leaving since I am doing it on my own. I could never pay for child care, so he is saving me money in that respect. He also leaves two nights a week as soon as I get home so he can go play volleyball. I get that he needs time away from the kids, but can't I get a break too? So should I leave and my kids be without a dad because he's lazy? I feel like it's punishing my kids..

Leanne - posted on 05/14/2010

omg - same exact sistuation as i have, and our son is now nearly 14months! As far as im aware, it doesnt get any better, some guys are into the baby thing, some arnt! you just have to decide if you are willing to put up with it or not, whether you are prepared to put in all the work for none of the credit! i definatly understand how u feel and wrestle with the decision to stay or go daily!!!

Jennifer - posted on 05/13/2010

I know exactly how you feel. Yes my finace does watch our son every once in awhile while I am at work but then I worry that Chase is just sitting in his pack and play watching tv or playing with his toys why his father does nothing but sit on the computer palying cards. I am the bread winner in the family and it is really hard. I totally understand how you feel. Wish I could help. Actually I thought I was the only one who had to deal with this type of situation. My friends dont understand because they dont have children themselves. Sorry I wish I could help.

Samantha - posted on 05/13/2010

Be glad you have someone there at all! My "baby daddy" is not in the picture. She is 5 1/2 months old and he has never seen her nor will her ever, his choice. So count your blessings!

Amber - posted on 05/03/2010

i had the same problem and i just told him that he needs to form a bond with her now cause when she gets older she isnt going to like him cause she will know that mommy was always there and daddy thought that his friends were more important.. it caused a little fight but when she always wants me he knew that he was wrong and now he spends all the time he has with her..

Alexis - posted on 05/03/2010

I did and sometimes still do have the same problem. I also worked as well. I found all the babysitters for everything including when he couldn't be home, i took care of her all night and all day and then worked 20 hours to boot. I got so fed up with it one day, i said its your single life or us, you can't have both. I told him he didn't always have to watch her on his days off, but it would be nice if we went out together and got a "break" together since he didn't see or talk to me most of his work week. It took four arguments of this and i left. Its taken him 3 months to come around but now he is great with a few moments here and there. I am not saying break up but you should talk to him and ask to do something together. And when he comes home from work, hand him the baby and tell him everything for her is on the counter or her dresser or where ever you put it and say i am going to.... and i will be back in about.... and i will call periodically to check on you two. have fun and walk out the door before he can eve object. It works for me. Very well and in fact when i get home he is happy and she is too. I called every half hour.

Amanda - posted on 05/03/2010

oh my mom keeps telling me, when i was little my dad didnt do anything to help her out with me or my brother. she did it all on her own (than again she had no choice, my dad died when i was 3). but today is a new day, this is now, not the past, us women are the ones in control and we can survive...without the men

Layla - posted on 05/03/2010

my husband was the same way....he wouldnt even change a diaper...one day i asked him to watch our son while i went to exercise and he said he couldnt because he had "tv to watch". i'm sorry i dont have any advice to fix the problem except to remove yourself from the situation. i left my husband when my son was about 4 months old. being a single mom is NOT easy, but i feel i made the right decision. if you do chose to leave make sure youre doing it for the right reasons, and dont just threaten......good luck, and i'm sorry for your situation i know its horrible if you need anything feel free to contact me please....i truly know how you feel! i'm here if you need to talk...

Becky Jane - posted on 05/03/2010

He sounds like he really doesnt give a stuff about you or this baby, i would either tell him you ARE looking after the baby tonight if you dont get your things and leave and let me go it alone, my sister is in the same predicament and her other half does nothing yet she wont leave him (why i dont know) it will be hard at first but can you seriously look at you being with him in 5 years if this carries on!! what happens if you get pregnant again? 2 young babies to look after and him still being a total dick (sorry) dont keep being a door mat and letting him get away with it after all he is the babies dad too and if he cant be arsed to take an active roll he may as well not be there had he.

Amanda - posted on 05/02/2010

my fiance is usually home (jobless til 2 weeks ago), my son is 14 months and i live at my moms house. the only time i have to myself is when i go to college, as soon as i come home, i do all the housework ( just for it to look like nothing was done), im tired of it. i never get to go out and when i do, he and the baby have to come with me to the store, were he acts like fool and needs me to keep our son under control. i have no friends, except for the internet at 2 in the morning (when i should be sleeping). my free time consist of doing homework while trying to take a bath. i watch no tv and i get to pay for everything. the best part is when my mother comes home from works and complains at me because the house is a mess and i dont do anything. the more i yell about getting a little help, the more he finds a reason to go outside for 30 mins at a time. and when i do sit down, its only for a second before i have to get up and help someone with something. as for your support, dont count on it. find a babysitter thats wont mind watchin the baby for a hr and half for free,.. all else fells scream and cry and have a mental breakdown, my fiance helps me out half ass for a few hrs after that. oh and since he started working, hes even lazier than he was when he didnt have a job and didnt do anything but watch tv all day... best of luck to you

Sabahat - posted on 05/02/2010

oh GOD!!!and i thought only v women from the east were going through this...lol...my husband does not stop me from going anywhere but he doesnt take me or my daughter out too. i'm alwz planning out stuff for us to do, but end up doing it all alone alwz. he goes out with friends, has fun and all, but never takes me out or looks after our daughter, even grocering. so i'm constantly like a single mom. he works at a restaurant, so his timings are understandable, but when he's at home, he does not look after our baby. so i never hv time on my own. i guess all men r the same, its biologically impossible for them. but then some men do...after reading all the comments, i guess i'm not alone. best of luck to all moms:)

Amy - posted on 04/29/2010

I'm glad to know that i am the only person in the world, whos husband does this to. As for what to do about I have no clue. I have tried everything. We have faught and we have not talked and i have left and i have come back. My husband dosnet do anything, unless it benfits him. If he thinks that taking the kids will get him laid, he might do it be my oldest in 3 and my baby is 2, in 3 years i think that i have slept in a total on 3 times. I have also have a second kid and 2 surgies since my oldest was born, neither of those times has he bother to do anything. Its like being a single mom. I dont even fight with him about it anymore, because its just as easy to take the kids with me. All i can say is hopefully you have great friends and family, who will help you out. And tell them how disrespectful he is, maybe coming from a 3rd party it might click in. Hasnt worked for me, but maybe for you. And if you do decide to leave him, do it because thats what you want and not because someone told you too. Being a "single mom" but not being single is hard.

Jade - posted on 04/29/2010

I didn't put up with it and told my husband to pack his bags and move out! If he couldn't put his son first - then he wasn't the man that I told his was! We had been together for 8 years, married for 5 - and I could only take it for 6 months since my beautiful baby boy was born.
My husband wouldn't hold him, pick him up, feed him, bathe him - but when visitors came over he played 'show dad' - it made me so mad. But the final straw was - my baby has eczema and we had 4 dogs in the house, the doctor told me that they had to be put outside - he refused... because the dogs were here first and it wasn't their fault.
From that moment I took my baby out of that house and have since been living with my parents.
We have been separated for 6 months and for the past 10 weeks he hasn't even come to visit his own son - I know that I made the right decision! But I wouldn't have been this strong with the great support from my family!

Adry - posted on 04/28/2010

Well I had that kinda problem too.. but he didn't work... so I had to do the Working, Cleaning, the taking care of my baby, and also I wanted a day off... but my "Off" day was going to my mom's and doing laundry... so there was not much of an off for me... if i went out he would be calling everywhere just so he could find me and tell me to go back home....

So my solution was running out of that house and going back to my mom's...

I recommend... start saving some cash so you can survive like 2 or 3 months and get out of there.... but that's my opinion...

Anne - posted on 04/28/2010

I'm in the same boat.
My fiance fisishes work at 4 (i work 9-5.30 but have thursdays off) and then goes into his 'shed' to fix bike (appsarently to make extra money but ends up drinking when his mates come up).
Anyway, one saturday we had a few friends round and Sarah and i were talking in the kitchen and kev and fiance were in the sitting room, and i said to sarah that i had asked mum and dad if i could come stay for a bit with frieddie (they live 5 minutes round the corner) and was concidering going back to mum and dads as he wasnt helping collect freddie from nursery or from mum and dads. with dinner I had to cook it when i got in, bath freddie, then put him to bed. He must of heard this as he appologised the next day and he has been ok, not great but ok ever since.

Sherry - posted on 04/28/2010

i have the same problem mt friends are always buisy with their lives, and my husband is always working, when he is home he doesnt want to help. he just wants to sit infront of the video game like a kid! he makes all the money and says that he needs an out too. i told him fuck you my job is harder than yours... we have 3 children under 5. i made it a point to leave him with the kids a couple times by him self! he helps me alot more. you have to be assertive, make him do it, otherwise he'll try to avoid the situation and make reasons why he cant watch the kid. remind him that he should want to spend time with his kid, to bond!!!

Cindy - posted on 04/28/2010

Okay, I had this problem for a bit with my fiance. I'm a stay at home mom and he makes all of the money. You need to sit down and talk to him, and CALMLY tell him how you feel. Guys don't like to feel cornered or blamed, but you need to express that you need some time for yourself as well and that you really value him as the father of your child and all the responsibilities that go with it. Sometimes, it takes much longer for a guy to realize that parenthood is a real thing. Sure he sees her, probably holds her, but it hasn't clicked that there is more responsibility that just making money. My fiance used to burying himself in music, video games, his friends, and his career. One day I sat with him and let him know that this is what I needed from him in order for us to work. I also said that if all he was gonna do is make money for his family then he could pay child support and have his life back. He didn't want to see his family torn apart and now he's making an obvious effort to help out more! Just be patient and give it time! Good Luck!

Stephanie - posted on 04/28/2010

I have the same problem now hun. i have my 2 girls and then on every other weekend i have my 2 girls and my 2 step sons because he is never home

Becci - posted on 04/28/2010

I do really feel for you its not fair how he acting and you need to sit and seriously talk about it, tell him things dont change you'll be out the door and not coming back. My hubby doesn't knwow hat hes doing with our son but to be fair to him hes in the british army and is away alot for long peroids of time, everytime he comes back our son has changed and so has hes routine so my hubby has to learn it all over again and gets annoy with it when he can't. Did you ever thing your man might have issues about he doesnt feel like he knows what hes doing or he doesnt know how to care for your child. All you can do hun is tell him about it and talk without aruging which for me would be hard

Alicia - posted on 04/28/2010

...i'll tell you waht worked for me...my husband was very helpful with our son up until the day we got married...we got married in feb 09...four months later at the end of june he came home from work to an empty apartment...i told him when he straightened himslf out and got his priorities in order he could find me at my moms...he straightened out fairly quickly...until i had our daughter in feb...then i sat him down and explained that if tings didnt change he was going to lose me again, and this time it would be for good

Jenni - posted on 04/27/2010

I had the same problem. I finally sat my husband down and laid down the law. I cahnged my sons bum, fed him, handed him to my husband and left for a walk. I came back in half and hour and they were both still alive. :) Once my son reached a year and was more interactive with us my husband turned a corner. My son is now 2 and a half and they love playing together! Just keep at him. You might have to be blunt, I once told my husband that if he didn't spend time with his kid that his son would grow up, not knowing him and hate him. It was like a light went on in his head! You have to keep at him, men don't grow up like women and own up to their responsibilites by themselves. Good luck!

Tricia - posted on 04/27/2010

I know several fathers with this same attitude. I think some new dad's don't know how to fall into their role as a parent. We as mothers carry the child in our womb for 9 months and give birth so we have a instant undeniable maternal attachment. Some dads feel and instant attachment to their baby when it is born, for some it comes later. Sounds like your fiancee is not working to establish a connection with his child. He may be scared, or possibly after the baby was born had an "oh shit" i'm not ready for this moment which is why he is avoiding spending time with his daughter. Whatever the reason it is not fair to you or your daughter. I would have a serious talk with your fiancee and explain to him you are in dire need of some mommy time but more importantly find out whats going on in his head and see why he is avoiding spending time with the new baby. Best of luck!

Meagan - posted on 04/27/2010

I had the same problem also me and my fiance had a 1 yr old and a newborn and he was attending college in a different city from me and didnt do anything for me or with me and was loving the party life while i was struggling with 2 little ones at home. It came to the point where i made him choose.. us? or whatever your doing out there. and he chose whatever he was doing out there. It was heartbreaking but not to long after he realized what he had done and chose to be a different person, he didnt think life would be anything without me and his boys in it and ever since then he helps and is happy and there. Sometimes they just need a wakeup call.

Kerrie - posted on 04/27/2010

When my daughter was born her father never helped take care of her, he thought it was my job since all i did was stay home all day and he had to work, so the last thing he wanted to do was help with her..he would go hang out with his friends, "have to work late", be on the computer all night and what not..yeah ended up that the time he wasnt spending with his child he was cheating on me the whole entire time....

Ashley - posted on 04/27/2010

Mine is no help either, he tries to be but its only for a few minutes. My baby is almost 4 months old and ever since he was born, I AM the one who gets up to tend to the baby EVERY SINGLE night, I AM the one who takes care of him what seems like 24/7. I ask him to help me at night when I'm to tired or sleepy to get up and all he says is "Ash, I have to be up at 5 in the morning to go to work at 6:30. I need my rest" Even on weekends, he won't help sometimes; it's always me. During the day, he will help some but when he starts crying, he hands the baby to me cause he can't take the crying. He even texts me at work saying "I can't take this, try to come home early tonight" It drives me insane. Its like he's not even trying to be a dad cause he doesn't do hardly anything for him, its always me. And he wonders why he'll be a mama's boy when he grows up.....seriously?? I wish I knew what to do to fix this but I have no idea

Ruth - posted on 04/27/2010

Have you tried Relationship Counseling? Maybe that would help you make the big decision - Should I Stay or Should I Go.

Jessicah - posted on 04/27/2010

I don't think there's anything to change it until the baby is old enough to do their own ...lol..
My baby's daddy watches him. But, whenever he don't feel like watching him he always brings up work. Like, "why don't you get a job and I'll stay home and work". Or, "I am tired from work all day I need to rest". And that's everyday... so that means he doesn't deal with the kid at all? Anyway, we argue a lot on who's to take care of him next. sighs... so annoying...

Amber - posted on 04/27/2010

I don't have that problem but honestly hon it already sounds like you are a single momma. If i were you i'd tell him to choose his family or his single life.

Sarah - posted on 04/27/2010

I have three children and after each one was born my husband went through a period were he would go out all the time. His friends don't have kids so they can go out when ever they want. He told me that I caould go out with my friends but all my friends have children too and they are single moms. So it is a lot harder for me to go out. It lasted for a short period each time but it drove me nuts. We both work full time and after having our daughter three months ago I've been doing almost everything. So I talked to him and told him that he needs to step it up. So basically you need to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling and if he doesn't change then tell him you will leave. I did that even though it was hard because I have been with him for almost 8 years and I don't know if I could have really done it. But he started helping out again and we are finally getting back to normal. Good Luck I hope it all works out for you!

Kate - posted on 04/27/2010

your so not alone. I have this problem all the time. I like the suggestions of leaving, but if he hasnt been around much u might not trust it. What I did was on his day off say im not doing anything today(or for a few hours) Im here merrily for help if you need it,. its like ur the shaperone! Make him do it all. suggest things if u want help him find things and decipher her cries. Do this once a week until you feel comfortable with him doing it on his own. Then have ur girls day with ur cell so he can call and u can check in. IF he doesnt agree or doesnt participate then is he really a partner you want??? Really a FATHER you want for you child? he should want to spend time with her and be with her. thats his kid TOO! good luck... feel free to email me if you want to talk further. friendthatcares@yahoo.com

Bonnie - posted on 04/27/2010

id say get a sitter to watch her for a bit at his expense and go enjoy yourself for sum time. if he cant help by watching her for some time then hes gonna have to pay sumone else to do it. anyways since shes been with u for so long going everywhere with you even when u get out its going to feel a bit weird without her.. but it all gets used to in time ^.^ good luck hope u get ur well deserved break!

Rachel - posted on 04/27/2010

My husband did this my daughter's whole first year. Sometimes men don't bond with their children, or when they are getting married and have a new baby all of a sudden feel the need to prove they are still young and in control of their life. I'm not saying it is right, I don't agree with it. We women can feel the same way. I suggest sitting him down during one of your baby's naps and talking to him completely openly. Point out he is not just hurting you, he is hurting himself and missing out on one of the best times of his baby's life. If you can also just force him to have to take care of her that would be good, but I would do it after a serious discussion. Make him help you with all of the daily tasks-he will fight it at first but then he will see all the magic he is missing out on! Good luck!

Katie - posted on 04/27/2010

I had the same problem with my 9 mo's father, it was a huge factor that eventually led to a permanent separation. I've moved back in with my parents and siblings and now my daughter gets more TLC than she knows what to do with :) Her dad still doesn't want to see her much, and it makes me really sad; but my family has been such a huge help to me that I feel like her life might be better without him.

Randi - posted on 04/27/2010

I know how you feel. My fiance takes care of out daughter when I am work and that's it. When i'm home I have to take her everywhere, not that I dont love my daughter it's just sometimes you need a break. Dont feel alone. You arent.

Jeremi - posted on 04/27/2010

You should consider going away for a weekend. Take the baby with you and just be gone all weekend and don't call. Let him have a weekend by himself to think about if he wants his life to be filled with you and your child or not. Let him know that if he doesn't step it up and start being a team player, than he doesn't have to be a part of the team. It is not fair for you to have to do all of the work just because he brings in the money. Make a stand and MEAN IT!! You have to be mentally prepared to doit alone if it comes down to it. If you don't believe it, he never will and he won't take you seriously. Good luck

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2010

susanne
i have the same issues
he says that the woman should cook 3 meals a day and look after the house and her man! i told him that it wasn't 1960 anymore and that fathers help out now a days!!!
i very much feel like a single mom; yes he takes his shift with jaxon which is 2 nghts a week but seriously i need to have a day away too! and like your fiance he has said that i could go out anytime i wanted but like you that has yet to happen so u an i are in the same boat and i am getting very tired and overwhelmed!!

Taia - posted on 04/27/2010

Some guys seem to have a problem with releasing the swinging single guy persona, especially if his mates are all a bunch of single guys without a care. You have to let him know that you might not be working at a job that pays the bills, but what you are doing is equally important, I would say even more so...but either way, his behavior is far from fair and maybe when you bolt for the door and leave him with his daughter the way he leaves you, maybe he will come to understand that what you do is far from "nothing" and you also need a break! You might even want to start with leaving him at home and just running some errands at first so that he doesn't feel that you are abandoning him with the baby!

Maddison - posted on 04/27/2010

I was in the same boat. This worked for me so maybe it would work for you too. My husband and I have gotten into many fights about him being useless so after many warnings he left for work and I packed up all of our stuff and moved back in with my parents. He came home to an empty house. He called me when he got home and begged me to come back. I said no and let him suffer for a week. I finally came home and layed down the law. I also told him if I have to do this again I will NOT be coming back. I told him I didn't sign up to be a single married mother, so step up. Since then he has been amazing. It worked for me but it was risky. I was totally prepared not to come back and if you do this you also need to be prepared for him not to chase you. Good Luck

Angel - posted on 04/27/2010

My husband comes home after work every day, he is home every weekend, but he STILL doesn't watch the kids. If I have to grocery shop he expects me to take them with me. If I have a doc appointment he figures the kids should go too. In fact, everytime I leave the house I have to take at least 1 child. It is SO unfair, as he can go out to the gun range and shoot guns all afternoon, or drive 2 hours to the city to look at more guns he doesnt need. I get NOTHING! So frustrating. Luckily my parents are only 2 hours away, so every couple months I drop off the kids and go out with my friends. Hope its gotten better for you!

Rebecca - posted on 04/27/2010

I agree with Josslyn. Get everything ready, have a schedule made up of when she eats, sleeps, etc. When he gets home, or has a day off; you should already have plans. Just tell him, here, take care of YOUR daughter for a few hours. Do call, but, not every half hour, then he WILL think that you don't trust him.Call every hour or so.Don't plan to much, even if all you do is go to the library, or the grocery store.

My son is 17 1/2 months, and I leave him with his Daddy every so often. He loves Daddy and spends the day saying Mum? ( I answer, I'm right here) then he says Daddy? ( I say, he's working, he'll be home in _ hours).

My husband has always been very supportive and helpful with our son. All I can say is basically throw your daughter into her dad's arms and scoot quickly. Hope that you get some Alone Mumma time soon.

Helen - posted on 04/27/2010

hi hun! i have the same problem! my partner goes out too but he's not as bad as he used to be, i just had enough and said "IM GOING OUT!" and left my son with him and he didn't have a choice... i dont know what to suggest tho its very hard and the thought of being a single mum terrifies me i dont want to have to only have half the time with my son thats why i put up with it.

Sushana - posted on 04/27/2010

try ignoring him susanne.......he will come around thats what i did......he came back like a puppy...:)

JILL - posted on 04/27/2010

I hate to say this, but it will probably never change. My husband doesn't go out and stay away from home, but he's useless while he's IN THE HOME!!! He locks himself in "his" room (what used to be the master bedroom, and now looks like a tornado hit it), and let's me handle everything. When our 6 yr old goes in to spend time with him, he usually ends up frustrated and kicking our child out because he's "trying to relax."....Needless to say, a single mom I will be very shortly.

Jakeia - posted on 04/27/2010

Don't mean to offend anyone, but be in remembrance that women will always have to work extra, extra hard, thanks to EVE, she bit that apple!!! There's everlasting work to be done ladies, the childcare/house duties isn't really the man's responsibility, and it really doesn't do any good to complain, on God's behalf for our sake. However, they should know we can't handle it all by ourselves, but then again, many women feel they don't need a man, I beg to differ, it started with Adam! The child needs that balance. However, God comes first, and when duty calls, duty calls!

Jakeia - posted on 04/27/2010

I know exactly what you mean, hon! When it all boils down to it, it's like you realize that you're jealous because your husband gets to go out all the time and do him, while you're at home with the child/children. However, that's what a stay at home mom seems to be all about. There's no more time for yourself, all that is directed towards the kids now, and hell, even when you do get that time, it's like whoa, I thought I was taking a break? Lol. However, don't get discouraged with your hubby, because he's out most of the time. And try not to let Satan tempt you to think he's doing anything other than what he says he's doing. That's really gonna make you wanna go! As long as he's doing what it is that God needs to be done, just know that all that time you spend within doors, will be worth it. I have a 1yr.22mon. old, and an 11 mon. old child, and believe me, break isn't even the word anymore, it's more like I need a vacation. You know how most people start to really enjoy partying/clubbing at the age of 21, well hon I'm 26 and haven't been out since I WAS 21! All I can say is stay strong in great faith, for God always knows what's best for us through these trials and tribulations. Giving up, leaving, could be the worst thing to do, you never know who exactly you're walking out on! I don't think God would intend for you two to have that child just for you to leave because you're tired. Hang in their, bonding with the kids could be some of the best moments, when you're alone. And just to note, we're never alone, hon. God's always there, so hey, have a little chat with him. When he's first, it's always good! You can do it, don't let Satan get the best of you by waring you down, allowing you to waste your strength on things that won't benefit "LIFE", while maintaining your "LIVING". Be stress/worry free! Take care hon, and kiss that baby for me, adorable, loving those cheeks!*1LOVE*

Amanda - posted on 04/26/2010

My son's father doesn't help at all, no money, mental, emotional, physical, etc support. I have found it to be very lonely but Im just trying to find a balance between school, work and him. I just thank God that I have my sister to help me out who's in town so I can make it through and get everything that is best for my son.

Leslie - posted on 04/26/2010

lmao, sorry that sounds so much like my spouse, he works from 7am till 3pm, comes home, takes a nap , wakes up to dinner cooked already eats, goes on the laptop, if im lucky he might bath the kids and our 4 yr old prefers him to lie down with him till he falls asleep and thats around 10pm, During the day im the one who cleans, does the laundry and does all the running around, we have 2 kids together, 1 is in daycare every day and one is 15 months old, we also have three older kids who are 8 , 8 and 9 yrs old,. He thinks just bc he washes the floors and maybe if im lucky the 2 bathrooms 1 x a week, that it makes up for all the crap i do, i dont think so. And like you, i do feel like a single parent, but it wasnt for my stepkid's mom who just moved here from hamilton id be screwed big time.

Christy - posted on 04/26/2010

I had the opposite problem. My husband was always around, but wouldn't do anything. Your man is out making the money, and granted he should be able to go out, but you are facing a house and a new baby 24/7 and need a break. Just tell him that you are at the point of cracking and guess who you are going to explode on....certainly not your daughter and there is only one other person in the house. (make sure you look like you are gonna pop) hand him the babe and just go out. (but plan it ahead of time with your friends to have a girls night out, otherwise you may find yourself feeling very proud that you finally got out, and not have anywhere to go lol) Good Luck girl. Just lay down the law...he'll get it, if not the first time, build up to it, eventually he will figure it out. (men can be simple creatures, and certainly don't have ESP.....so you have to tell him.