Using child leashes in this situation...would you?

Tasha - posted on 09/21/2010

I use one on my son as a "just in case" we only used it at fairs and that sort this summer. We decided to that we would use one with our son when I was prego and found a child that was holding his mothers hand and someone walked right through them causing the child and mother to get seperated, and could not find each other through the croud. Those situations that we know we will be around alot of people we do put it on our son but we also have been teaching him to hold both of our hands.
I would say go for it for your situation. Our kids safety is our main concern!

Sarah - posted on 09/21/2010

I'll be quite honest, my son with autism is 8 now, and I have since switched to an alarm (distance monitor). He doesn't run into traffic so much anymore, but still wanders away if you turn your back. He has no real understanding of strangers, and never has, and would follow the first person who looked interesting. He now has the freedom to walk a very short distance away, before the alarm will sound. A little unconventional? Maybe. Do I care what others think? Not really, it's still for his safety and my sanity! Good luck with your twins, you've certainly got your hands full!

Chelsea - posted on 09/21/2010

I'm with you on that i'm not a big fan of the "baby leash" I think for the most part they are used because it is easier then paying attention or actually making a child mind, but there are many cases in which they maybe appropriate but not completely necessary. i was recently a nanny of two toddlers and i had a baby of my own, juggling is hard to do but not impossible. If nothing works for you then by all means using one especially if it makes you feel more in control then that doesn't make you a bad mom. When i had to go to the store, or the childrens mothers office and ive taken them all to the doctor, i bring my stroller for everything. If you get a nice double stroller you can put the two carriers in the stroller, I would have the third, hold onto the stroller "to help me push" and place my hand on top of theres. Then go about your business. for the stores i parked right next to the cart return so i can load them from the car into the cart right next to me. THen when i got inside i would switch over to one of the seated carts so i could still have room for grocerys and everyone was buckled in saftely

Natalie Rose - posted on 09/21/2010

how unfortunate that someone used this post to attack other mom's and different ways of parenting. Each of us has a choice and the thing I love *so* much about this site is that we can get the opinion of other mommas who may or may not share our opinion. The diversity of it all is beautiful, NOT something to be judged or harshly criticized. I love seeing all the different points of views and having different ideas to mull over (who knows, maybe they'll have an influence on how I do certain things).

Let's keep it real and keep it civil. We can all learn something from a little positivity and grace!

Lacey - posted on 09/21/2010

I think they are GREAT! LOL Some of them are soo cute and it keeps the toddler safe

Jasmine - posted on 09/21/2010

I don't see anything wrong with the leash personally, and I think it's great for certain situations. Being in big crowds, like at the fair or the airport, where your child can get lost so easily for instance. In the end it's about keeping them safe and you comfortable and and as stress free as possible.

Krystal - posted on 09/21/2010

better safe then sorry i say go for it

Natalie - posted on 09/21/2010

I would use it, I have an almost 2 year old who listens most of the time, but there have been times where he doesn't stay close by and times where I have needed one just so he could kind of do his own thing. For safety I would use it. It will keep you sane for a few minutes at least

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2010

Taya, I was looking for opinions from both sides of the fence on this issue, as I have never been a fan of the child harness/leash myself. I was looking for honest suggestions and advice on different ways to handle this situation. There have been many great opinions and suggestions for me to think over and weigh their use. Unfortunately, your opinion was put forth in a manner that was very critical, demeaning and judemental. You have offended several people, non more so than myself. I did not open this thread for anyone to attack anyone elses parenting style or choice, but you have taken that upon yourself.
You assume my child is out of control and that I am an inconsistent parent who doesn't discipline my child. THAT is what offends me. My daughter is 18 months right now, and for her age she is VERY well behaved, but I would never expect a toddler to remember and follow all the rules of the world every second of every day. I do not hold my daughter's hand in the grocery store, she knows to stay close, but being a toddler, she is natural curious and inquisitive of the world around her, and on a handful of occasions she has walked away. I have always had the ability use either of my free hands to quickly reign her back in. Getting two newborns and a toddler across a dangerous parking lot and in some cases across an entire street to get to where I need to go, I will not have that free hand. My child does get disciplined when needed, I am consistent and my daughter is VERY well behaved. Especially when I see her in a group of similarly aged children, she is often one of the best behaved, but usually brings home bad habits and naughty behavior that she has picked up on. That comment was aboslutely unneccessary, offensive and purely judgemental.
I appreciate your opinion on the matter, no matter how offensive, but please try to be more diplomatic with any other comments you make. You don't want to be criticized as a parent, neither does anyone else here. Thank you.

Taya - posted on 09/21/2010

Christi Thompson- i have 2 kids aged 5 and 4 (15 months apart) also due with my 3rd in Dec. So yes i do understand this whole conversation. But like i said i set firm ground rules with my kids and had to from the beginning. Why? Cause otherwise i would have hellions running all over the place. My kids are well behaved and i owe that to myself being consistent from the time they were young. So please DO NOT tell me i DO NOT understand when clearly being a PARENT of soont o 3!!! I know enough!

Kally - posted on 09/21/2010

Comparing using the leash as you do to dogs is a stupid comment !!!!!!!!!! its not degrading your child its being responsible. All toddlers have a moment of instinct where they act impulsive or do something with out being aware of the consiquences (its called being a child). It does not mean your child is out of control !!!!!! Giving your child the freedom and having a back up just incase is far better than your child making one small impulsive decision and it having dire results. !! get a grip people your childs saftey is at question here not degrading your child or saying they lack discipline. Toddlers want to be independent but after all they are still children.

Christi - posted on 09/21/2010

and taya, i use one and my child is impulsive but it is not from a lack of discipline. maybe once you have a child, you will understand that. my son is autistic and even if he wasn't all children are not the same. my son is almost 2 and he hardly ever listens to me. granted that is part of his condition, i still know children that young that are not capable of understanding right from wrong. rather be safe than sorry and it is not walking your child. when you kids hit an age where they refuse to sit in their strollers and holding their hands is the only way to keep them happy, all it takes is one second of not paying attention or distraction for that child to run off and be gone.

Christi - posted on 09/21/2010

i use one for my son. he will not sit in his stroller and has autism and a sensory disorder and it is more calming for him to be able to walk around. i love it and i would rather use it, it looks like a lil monkey backpack with a long tail, than risk losing my child.

Anna - posted on 09/21/2010

I don't see a problem with them, and will probably use one for my son when he's old enough. Frankly I find it ridiculous people would think they're "cruel" or a "cop out" for parents who "can't control their children". The fact is that toddlers are impulsive and incapable of considering consequences for their actions; they just act. So when you're toddler sees something across the parking lot he/she wants or gets the urge to run around, chances are pretty good it'll happen. And that can lead to all sorts of awful things, like getting hit by a car. The leash allows your toddler the freedom he or she craves while keeping her confined within your immediate vicinity. And how is that wrong? Obviously I'm a little biased in their favor, but as others have said, give it a shot and if it works for you, then it works. If not, then you've got a plethora of other options to try.

Jackie - posted on 09/21/2010

I haven't read any replys yet but I think you've answered your own question

Brittany - posted on 09/21/2010

I'm not a fan of the baby leashes, but not sure how else you could be sure to keep your oldest safe because even if your child is one that usually listens they all have their moments when they don't ...

Taya - posted on 09/21/2010

I agree with having a double stroller and have your other child hold the stroller. If you feel like your child is that out of control then maybe you should put more discipline in them to know not to run off. Leashes are made for DOGS, i would not degrade my child in anyway while i "walk" him/her. Thats rediculous! In my opinion i have no idea how parents can live with themselves knowing they are outside walking their child on a leash. might as well make your child fetch a ball, roll over, sit, heal and give a treat for good behaviour :/ But then again this is just my opinion, but i am a firm believer in just laying down the ground rules from an early age and sticking to them from the start so by the time your twins are born they know what is right form wrong.

Emily - posted on 09/21/2010

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old, and I find it really useful. I can relax a little, knowing that she can't run out in front of a car while i have my hands full!



Jasmines one is a puppy dog looking one that she loves. She thinks its a toy...

Morgan - posted on 09/21/2010

use it!! it works great for my daughter it looks like a backpack

Jane - posted on 09/21/2010

Please give the child leash a go. I see so many children running away from the adults they are with I am dreading the day when I see one get killed because they have been hit by a car that couldn't stop in time. A leash would allow your daughter the freedom to "walk by myself" but keep her safe.
Whenever I see a Mum using one I will always try and tell her "good on you" your child is safe but has freedom.
But also teach her to stop like one of the other posts says,

Natalie Rose - posted on 09/20/2010

I was always pretty firmly opposed to the idea of a child on a leash - until I had my second child when my first was only 17 months old. She is very active and independent and with a big preggo belly, or carrying an infant, I couldn't chase her when she took off for the street (not fast enough anway!). So we took out the leash that we, too, were gifted with at our baby shower. It's attached to a backpack, so we began by filling the backpack with some special 'treats' and calling it her 'big girl backpack'. It was an instant hit, she feels quite special when we strap it on and she gets to walk around without holding my hand (except when we cross streets, of course, then hand-holding is required). I don't know what I'd do without it, now!!

Good luck!!

Brandi - posted on 09/20/2010

I think the leash should be left to animals.. Kids do not need leashes it is all on how you raise them and if your willing to deal with being a mother. I personally think they are degrading. I have 3 and one on the way and I have never used one. You just have to watch your kids

Shannon - posted on 09/20/2010

Better to be safe then sorry. I am a leash believer but i only have one child. the rings also work great and you can purchase them in single lengths there for as your twins get older you can add more to it.

Gin - posted on 09/20/2010

I cant even imagine getting twins and a toddler into a car, I have a ten year old and a almost 2 year old and I think thats hard, I think you should do what ever you think will keep your little ones safe, and you sane, Good Luck :)

Tiffany - posted on 09/20/2010

I personally do not agree with leashing, I think it's very demeaning. I do understand why you would use it in this situation. At the end of the day, keeping your child safe is what's best. Do what you think is best! =)

Jenn - posted on 09/20/2010

I don't see a problem at all for using that to keep your child safe in a busy parking lot. I wouldn't be the type to use it inside the building since your child needs to learn they have to stay close to you. With my son, I explained to him that he had to stay with Mom because Mom would keep him safe. If he went off, he could get hurt. So far, that works. Usually, I have my kids in the stroller as soon as they are out of the car. I have one where my older child can either sit or stand. If you're not too sure about the harness, and since you will have 3 babes to take around, I would suggest investing in a stroller that can handle 3 kids at once. Joovy makes tandem strollers that have places for the two car seats as well as a place for your older child to either sit or stand. http://www.joovy.com/pages/pd_bigcaboose...

Chelsea - posted on 09/20/2010

My son is 16 months old and VARY independent! dosnt like to be held much, when you hold his hand he throws a fit n wails himself around , and a stroller forget it. people tend to put a bad name on these "harnesses" i call it, but if i can walk and let my child freely walk around but still have a hand on him and know he is safe im all about it! in your situation if you have to use it dont hesitate because just like everyone says SAFTY FIRST! Good Luck and Congrats!

Brittney - posted on 09/20/2010

It sounds like you need it so give it a try! I think they make the baby carriers for twins so you dont have to lug around 2 carseats also. They both sound like good ideas and if it doesnt work then ask a friend or somebody to come with you to some of those places for a bit of help.

Miranda - posted on 09/20/2010

A double stroller would work and then you can still hold the hand of the 2 year old!!!! I often think about the leash but I too just don't know what to think about it!!! I have a 7 month old and a 2 year old and I know that is only 2 and not 3 but my 2 year old actually does pretty well listening and often have I had and let her just hold onto the carseat or the grocery cart!!!! Sometimes you just have to try what you can!!!!! Good Luck!!!

Betty - posted on 09/20/2010

I think that as long as it is used properly it's fine. Any time you are going across traffic(even if it's just the parking lot) the leash will be handy. Your best bet would be to get a stroller that has room for all 3 of them or have a helper with you when you go places. Lots of grocery stores let you order online and deliver to your door.
I use a toddler leash for a little girl I tend who is almost 3, she does not like holding hands and will do a death roll to get out of my arms if she wants down. I get alot of dirty looks from other moms but when I don't use the leash I get even more because she will not behave without one. I'm careful to not closeline other people. I don't let her pull her weight against it like a dog would either. I have her hold my hand or let me carry her whenever possible because I don't want her to be treated like an animal.

Janice - posted on 09/20/2010

I was never a fan of them, but when i took my daughter 2 yr old to disney i used it, because she was the type that would just see something and run off. She actually loved it, she thought i was so much funny, anytime we went to go somewhere she made sure she grabbed her bag..lol..

Jamie - posted on 09/20/2010

DO IT! I do not like them either, but in some cases they are NEEDED! What I dont like is when I see a parent with one child who ovbiously can be fine walking holding hands and they are on leashes, this to me is parents being lazy. BUT, It is needed in some cases to keep the child safe. And this would be one of them. Your older child is at the age where he/she will just run off, and you cant leave the babies to go chase after him/her. My opinion, it would be in your childs best interest to use it.

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2010

We have one, but it was actually just bought because we let our daughter pick out a "toy" and that's what she wanted. It has a puppy and then the tail os the part your suppose to hang to... she thinks she's walking the dog! In your situation though it might be worth a try!

Paige - posted on 09/20/2010

I'm not personally a big fan of the child leashes, but in your situation I would say give it a try. If it doesn't work for you and your kids, there are other options. But as you said, you're going to be juggling two car seats and a toddler, it really couldn't hurt to try it.

Mylene - posted on 09/20/2010

if it saves you any worry and helps keep all your children safe, then go for it.

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2010

I always thought child leashes were cruel, till I had a toddler that would run away in the middle of anything. After running thru a mall with a 6wk old baby in a baby carrier and my neice 1yr old under one arm trying to catch up to a two year old I realized sometimes you need all the help you can get! I have no other tips because I put my oldest child in a leash. I hope you dont have to and your oldest will walk perfectly with you as some kids will...

Elysia - posted on 09/20/2010

my son is 18months and i have one for him, i have the little back pack style one that the tale of the monkey is actually the "leash" and it clips off later and just leaves a cute little back pack. Ive only ever really used it a few times when i have been on my own with the kids (18months and 2months) and havent really wanted to get out the pram just to duck into the bank or something. We have also used it a few times when at the shopping centre and he is just over being in the pram but we still need to keep him contained. If its going to keep your daughter safe and make life simpler for you then go for it.

Janit - posted on 09/20/2010

Hey i know my dad got scolded for useing one with my sister we were all very close in ages and a handfull (4 of us one ihc ) but at the end of the day it help keep her on the footpath and to be quite honest i believe in my heart of heart s had he not my sister who like running onto road's may be being seriously hurt i use one for my 2 year old he is an advetures lil man but its like a back pack the i can hold onto from a short distance . nothing wrong with it miss go for it!

Holly - posted on 09/19/2010

I LOVE the 4 we have for our daughter, and so does she! I think they are a great safety device. :)

Rachelle - posted on 09/19/2010

I have two very active boys. They are 1 year and 11 days apart. I have the same monkey backpack as Tasha mentioned. My oldest LOVES it! He gets to choose if Mommy or Daddy is going to hold the tail and he thinks of it like a stuffy. He loves to pack a couple of toys in it to take with us. I absolutely see no harm in using a harness (I wouldn't call it a leash as it sounds like a dog). It is no different than using a bed rail to keep them from falling out of bed or putting a lock on a cabinet to keep them from getting into something dangerous. So go for it! All you are doing is trying to make sure your daughter is safe and that is what a parent is supposed to do. Don't worry about what others think! As long as you are doing the best you can, that is all that matters! Good luck with the new babies!

Emily - posted on 09/19/2010

ive got two babies to handle one 17 monthes and one (my niece) is 19 monthes she likes to pull out of my hand and run as fast as she can, some may not be fans of the leash but i am definatly not one of them it keeps them safe and keeps a few grey hairs from my head

M - posted on 09/19/2010

You're going to have a handful once the twins are born. I'm not a huge fan myself, but I'm not totally against them either. If I was in your situation I'd definitely use it. If it means keeping your child safe, go for it! Good luck.

Dina - posted on 09/19/2010

Seeing as there are so many different kinds of 'leashes" I wish I had one right now. The kind with the cute little animal on them that look like a back pack. I have a 4 year old who is autistic and she knows what the word stop means but she doesn't always listen. So I think that you need to do what YOU feel is right. Don't do what others think is right. Because when it comes down to it and the end of the day you are the only person who has to worry about is your kid okay or not. And I say if she will be safe then why not use it? Having 2 newborn/younger children at the same time as the one you have now is going to be crazy and if that "leash" is going to give you piece of mind then USE it.

Jessie - posted on 09/19/2010

I would say use it if you feel it will be safer for your child. You might not need it but you are going to have your hands full and for those uncooperative days all toddlers have it may be something that will help keep you sane and give you peace of mind.

Rachael - posted on 09/19/2010

Hi Jodi, im not a great fan of the baby leash and i had always thought they shouldnt be used until i had a child my self! i see the world differently now. if it means keeping your child safe when your hands are full i wouldnt even question it. you will know whats right when it gets there. maybe let you 18m play with it and get use to it befor the twins get here so he/she doesnt think its because of them he is being restricted. good luck = )

Katie - posted on 09/19/2010

i like the leash just because it gives my son freedom in the store while we shop. he can get down and play and run around and i know at all times he close by. plus he likes to wear the backpack that is on the back of the leash (although i always have to check his bag before we leave to make sure we aren't stealing hahaha). i say use it..at least you know all your children are safe :)

Elizabeth - posted on 09/19/2010

i think they look silly and makes your children look more like animals than children. thumbs down! 3 person buggy is the best! put the toddler up front and the twins in the back... or get a double buggy and get your toddler to help you put the buggy... most buggies are set up so you can hook the car seat into the buggy

Amber - posted on 09/19/2010

Well, before I became a parent, I would see people with leases on their kids and think horribly of them! Now I have a toddler and I don't use a leash, but if I were to go to a fair with her, or a concert, anywhere with a lot of people where she could get lost, I think that a leash would be a good idea. So in your situation, it would be pretty tough carrying 2 carseats and guiding a 2 year old around. I say a leash would be safe, but you should still try alternatives. maybe get a tripple stroller or a double for the twins and have your daughter hold onto it while going through parking lots? Or you could just leave her with her dad or a baby sitter while you take the twins do the doctor? But if nothing else works, I say a leash is a good idea, you wouldn't want her running into the street and not be able to run after her. Hope this helped!

Sarah - posted on 09/19/2010

maybe do what others have said and try to get one with a character on it, so she's more likely to actually want to have it on, rather than having to battle to get her to it on.

mines called a goldbug 2in 1 harness buddy (a chimp one) ((not sure if they are just british/european .. but they probably will have similar things else were)) and like i commented before, my little boy adores his monkey backpack.

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2010

Thanks everyone! I guess I was looking for confirmation that I can't expect a toddler to obey the "stay by mommy" rule every second when there are so many interesting things to see in the world! She USUALLY stops when we tell her to, but in the case that I have two carseats and no hands to quickly grab her when she finds a bug or rock or leaf or crack of any one of the millions of things to distract her that's too close to moving traffic or just too far away from me, I would like to know I still have control of the situation and not have to drop a carseat "wherever" just to chase after her!
Thanks again, safety is my main issue and it's important to me that I be able to be mostly independant, even with three kids 2 and under! My husband doesn't like "leashes" either, but he agrees it might be the best option for the times I have to go out with all three of them!