Were your kids, or any kids in your wedding party?

Kristen - posted on 02/25/2011 ( 47 moms have responded )

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Me and my fiance are finally getting married after 9 years and two kids later! 3/19 is the big day, and Im REALLY just planning now.....always have been a procrasinator! I guess Im looking for advise on how to go about having our kids in the wedding? Any tips to make sure things go smoothly? My son is 2 and my daughter is 7, so I know she will be ALOT easier to manage!

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Rachael - posted on 02/25/2011

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Have your daughter pull your son down the aisle in a decorated wagon then have them go sit with a relative or friend.

Lori - posted on 03/01/2011

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We had my husbands kids in our wedding.. his wife passed away when they were 1 and 2. Julia age 4 was a flower girl, and Ben age 5 was the ring bearer, (also my niece age 2 was a flower girl it was adorable)
Everything went really well. We practiced where they would stand and such and the 2 year old had grandma hold her when she got antsy, but it was a pretty quick ceremony, probably less than 15 min. It was a whirlwind I hardly remember it! The only catch was a bee landed on the ring pillow! Ben said "Mom! Theres a bee on the pillow!" he wasn't scared or anything he just wanted to show me. The whole thing was wonderful! Just make sure they don't need to potty before hand- and also give em a bathroom break afterwards cause later during pictures Ben fell asleep and peed on my niece (age 13). Also, get this kids pics done first cause Julia started having a breakdown during pics. made some cute pics though. I think it was also because they stayed with grandma the night before and they may not have had the best bedtime! So, potty breaks, plenty of goo sleep the night before, and maybe some snacks for bribes. LOL Good luck. They were very good but I instilled that it was very important to me..

Holly - posted on 03/01/2011

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I have a friend who had her nieces be bell ringers. They came down the aisle before her ringing various bells. Maybe there is something unique like that they could do?

Laura - posted on 02/28/2011

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One other issue we had with my son is that he was scared of me when I had my dress and veil on, I don't know if it was too much white or what but pictures were not fun because he couldn't see me or he would start crying. So if you think you may have this issue make sure he sees you either before the wedding or while you're getting dressed so he's used to it.

Adrienne - posted on 02/28/2011

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I didn't have my own children when we got married but I had my neices and his neice in it...my oldest neice was 6 years old and she was a junior bridesmaid (my sister in law was maid of honor so they got to stand together) my other neice was 4 years old and his neice was 3...they were our flower girls...they all did wonderful! I think it'd be cute to have your son as the ring bearer and your daughter as a junior bridesmaid or flower girl :) we didn't waste the money on flower girl or junior bridesmaid dresses from the bridal store either...we got their dresses at JC Penney's.

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Brianna - posted on 03/13/2011

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my daughter was 8 months old at my wedding so she was the flower girl. she was to young to walk so my mom carried her down the aisle and my dad walked me down teh aisle

Erin - posted on 03/13/2011

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I personally have not got married yet, but I can't imagine doing it without having my boys in the wedding! I've thought about how i'd make it all work and honestly I would just ask my mom to help with them that day at the ceremony and reception. And I'm pretty sure i'd send them with their dad while I was getting ready, keep all the boys together and stuff lol. But as I said I haven't done it yet, hopefully some day soon!

Amber - posted on 03/13/2011

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when me my husband got married our son was the ringbearer he was 3 at the time. he didn't really like being there very much but i really loved having him there with us sharing in the moment.
ultimately it is up to you but i really enjoiyed sharing the day with him.

Melissa - posted on 03/13/2011

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My Son is 3 and he was the ring bearer at my sister's wedding just this past weekend and my sister just put fake rings on the pillow and tied one of his little ninja turtles to the pillow.. lol it was so funny/cute he came running down the isle and then just went to sit down with daddy in the first row because there was no way he was going to stand up there for half hour.. But we did get a pic of him running down the aisle with the pillow!

Carly - posted on 03/02/2011

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Defintly include your kids in your wedding! It includes them in the day,and brings you all together as a family! My son (then 2) was included in ours-he walked down the aisle with my dad and I ! He loved it!! And didn't play up @ all.and was quite happy to walk holding onto my dads hand! Good Luck!

Melanie - posted on 03/02/2011

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My husband and I wanted his twins (from a previous relationship) in our wedding, we wanted them included in it because they are very special to us. My SS was a ringbearer and my SD was the flowergirl they were almost 5 years old and they did GREAT!
We also did something special at the ceremony that they got to participate in....Instead of doing the candle thing we did unity SAND. ( our wedding was on the beach) We each had our own small vase with sand in it and one big vase, we each took turns putting sand in the big vase showing our unity as a family...The kids felt so grown up and we were so proud of them, they did great! All kids think it's so cool to be able to participate in something that grown ups do....Hope your wedding is GREAT! :)

Lindsay - posted on 03/02/2011

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Put fake rings on the pillow. :) I know they sell some at Walmart or any place that has crafts. Then you don't have to worry about him losing them or whatever.
If you really want to have your daughter in the wedding, but don't want a flower girl then what about a jr. bridesmaid? Just a thought.

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2011

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Definitely make the kids a part of the day! They will love it. You can make your daughter the junior maid of honor or miniature bride and your son could be a ring bearer. My brother-in-law got a small ring with my niece's birthstone in it when he married my sister and her kids! Including your son in alot of things might be kind of difficult because of his age but just don't expect too much from him and let it be a fun day. (people think its cute when the ring bearer runs down the aisle the wrong way or wants mommy to hold him during the ceremony!)

Tina - posted on 03/01/2011

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When my husband and I got married my step-son was 3.5. He was a ring bearer and he also helped us light the unity candle. My friend got married last July. She has 6 (yes 6) children. Their ages ranged from 2-14 years. He oldest two were ushers (they did not want to be in the wedding party). Her oldest daughter (9) was a Jr Bridesmaid. He next son (8) one ring bearer, her youngest daughter (5) was a flower girl, and her youngest son (2) was a ring bearer. My son (10) was a Jr Groomsman, and my daughter (2) was a flower girl. When it came time to acutally walking down the isle, both 2 year olds dropped out, and the 8 and 5 year were left to perform solo. They also did a candle lighting ceremony with all the kids. Each of their Moms light a candle of the children, the children then lit another childs candle, so on and so forth until the bride and grooms candle was lit. Then they all lit the unity candle as a family. It was a great way to represent the family coming together as one.

Cyndel - posted on 03/01/2011

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We had two toddlers in our wedding, it wasn't so difficult, we had two people who was assigned to take care of them and help teach them what to do, and get them at take them out if they were getting to rowdy.
For the ring bearer his mother was able to do it, for my flower girl my 16 year old cousin had the task. It turned out great considering both decided to go tearing around the stage while we were in the midst of our vows and nearly knocked down the candle Abra's, lol. Their 'attendants' snuck in grabbed them and took them to the fellowship hall to run their extensive energy off. They were both about 3 years.
It was good.
Since the toddler in your case is your son, then I would have someone he likes that doesn't have much else to do during the rehearsal or on the wedding day take care of him, get him dressed etc, and be ready to take him out if necessary. Also keep your son's nap time and usually irritable times of the day in mind when you plan what time you want your wedding. Make sure that it is a time of day when he is usually in a good mood and not tired, that will help a lot.

Jen - posted on 03/01/2011

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My daughter was 17 months when we got married. She was our junior flower girl. My 6 year old cousin was the flower girl and my husband's 6 year old nephew was our ring bearer. We tried to get all 3 kids to go down the aisle together, but my daughter had her own plans. She didn't want to hold her cousin's hands so she went down the aisle after them, throwing her few flower petals as she went down the aisle to her daddy. Our wedding ceremony was at 1 and the reception at 3. Our daughter went all day without a nap. She had a blast. She was dancing and my family took care of her so my husband and I didn't have to worry about looking after her. When the reception was over, my parents took the baby and we went on a weekend getaway. We took our honeymoon a few weeks later and she stayed with my parents the whole week.

Kristen - posted on 03/01/2011

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Were going to have both the kids walk down together, for sure. He listens to his sissy very well, and besides us his sissy is his big comforter. I really think things will go well! Not too sure about him carrying the rings, he is too hhhmmmmm curious and I think if he has something in his hand and not holding his sisters hand he may get too distracted lol and Im not real big on the flower girl part, like is there something else she could do....or i might change my mind.....idk, this is a whole new ballgame in life! lol

Hayley - posted on 02/28/2011

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yes i had both my sons at my wedding at the age of 6mnths and 18mnths its a special day and there part of you they need to be there

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we had 4 flower girls aged 2-12, the older kids all got it, but you can't really expect the 2 year old do much, we had petels in a basket, she had petals and a bag of chips, and in most of the pics she is eating them! my son was a page boy for my cousins wedding last august, he was 20 months, it was a nightmare, he screamed, and wouldn't go to my sister, (I wasn't in the wedding party) and spent most of the night being really upset (dispite the fact he didn't even get down the isle he was too distressed). if you want them to be involved plan for it, but if you little one kicks up a fuss have a back up plan in place.

Lindsay - posted on 02/28/2011

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Yeah, it's definitely GREAT to have your own kids part of your special day! :) My daughter walked down the aisle with my maid of honor. And like Jayme said, see if someone will let him sit with them after they walk down, then you don't have to "worry" about what they are doing.
Burlington is a great idea for clothes for them! My stepmom made my daughter's dress, so we got lucky there. It seems ridiculous to pay just as much for a flower girl dress as the bridesmaids do!

Jayme - posted on 02/28/2011

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My son was a year and half when my husband and I got married he was our ring bearer.... Honestly I do not think I would have had it any other way. You can have your son walk down with your daughter like we did with our son and my little sister who was 12 when we got married plus family during the wedding will keep your son for you just talk to maybe your mom or his to take your son after he walks down the isle. I think he would make a cute ring bearer... Hope this helps a little



Also Burlington Coat Factory has nice dresses for your daughter and also nice suits for your son.

That is where we picked my sister dress up and my sons suit... It saved on money to get them there plus they would only wear them once...

Lindsay - posted on 02/28/2011

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My husband and I just got married last July (after 2 kids ourselves). Our daughter was almost 3 at the time and she was our flower girl. Our son was only 7 mo, so we left him out. Kids will be kids ya know, so if you do decide to have any in your wedding (your own or others) just be prepared for anything. Don't expect too much and if they decide at the last minute they don't want to walk down the aisle, just say "ok" and go on. It's not worth stressing out over if they decide there are too many people looking at them or whatever. Congrats and wish you the best!

Sequoya - posted on 02/28/2011

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hi my name is Sequoya and my husband and I got married 2009 and our daughter was 2 and our son was 1 yrs old ... we had him pushed in a red wagon with bells and decoration and even put toys insde to keep him occuppied , now daughter was the flower girl but got nervous so my mom held her hand then when we did the unity candle we had the grandmother bring them up and the kids lid the unity candle with us. So yes you should .. itd would be very nice

Kristen - posted on 02/28/2011

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Thank you so much for the wonderful ideas!! Im def going to have someone be my 2nd hand man with the kids for the weekend (loooove that idea) and I think them walking down together would be best! Is is sad that I kinda want them to walk last so I can see them go down together? awwww someone better get that on video! =) Its at 3PM, so most def after naptime and they will have lunch in them yet......good advise for sure! THANKS!!

Monique - posted on 02/28/2011

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our daughter was in our wedding when she was two she was the flower girl she walked down the asile then went to sit with her grandma during the ceremony maybe your son could could carry the rings pillow down the asile then sit with the grandparents untill the ceremony is done your daughter is old enough to be any part of the wedding party

Nikkole - posted on 02/27/2011

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we are getting married in oct and are little girl will just turn 2, and she going to walk in between the flower girl and me. she going to stand up there with us. we are going to do a candle with her and we are going to give her a ring too

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My nephew was the ring bearer at 2 1/2 and my niece was the flower girl at 8; my other niece was a brides maid but she's only 7 years younger than me.

My nephew was worried about his mom going up before him. So we made sure that she was the last brides maid to go up. He followed her by a few steps. During the cerimoney he would go back in forth between my mom and my sister, or play in the grass. He was nice and quiet however.

Why not have your 2 year old come down the aisle with you? He can help "hand you off" to your fiance. It would be cute and you wouldn't have to worry about a melt down because he isn't with you. Give him a responsibility that will seem like a big deal to him, but wont be the end of the world if he decides at the last minute that he isn't interested.

Erin - posted on 02/27/2011

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My daughter was at the wedding, and she got to pick out a nice pretty dress and sit right at the front (outdoor wedding)
She was 3 and a half when we got married so she was just content to be closest to us. She got to be in a bunch of pictures afterwards, and we made her feel special by giving her some flowers to hold. I had a friend watch her the entire day so I didnt have to worry about her getting into anything or getting near the water.

Megan - posted on 02/27/2011

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My daughter was almost 3 when her dad and I got married. She was the flower girl and was really excited about it, she loved practicing "her petals". The rehearsal went perfectly. And the wedding started off that way until my boss at the time scared her and she ran back up the aisle. She refused to go back up the aisle without me. So she was on one side holding my hand and my dad was on the other. At first I was mortified but found it highly amusing and sweet. She stood up there and did everything she could to get into trouble without actually getting into trouble. I put her next to my sister so she would be more comfortable and more entertained, but really so my sister could keep an eye on her.
I had everything planned out and Reagan decided to do things her way and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. But it just made the day all the more special.

Queen - posted on 02/27/2011

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Flower girl and ring bearer is the best thing for those ages and expect them to totally goof that up. so have fun with it. good luck and congrats.

Stifler's - posted on 02/27/2011

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my son was 8 months and i got my sister in law's girls to carry him down the aisle first then bridesmaids then me. he just went and sat with a babysitter my parents paid to look after him for the day after that and for the reception (she came to the reception and brought him).

Amy - posted on 02/26/2011

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My husband and i had his daughter in the wedding she was 9 at the time she was my flower girl/ junior brides maid. we had no problems with it at all except for getting her to stay in her dress after the wedding (she put her jeans on as fast as she could ha ha) but i really like the wagon idea i think that would be very cute and then you wouldnt have to worry about your son taking off running in the wrong direction. good luck and congrats.

Ashley - posted on 02/26/2011

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i LOVE rachels wagon idea...u could have her pull the wagon & hold a rose with the other hand kind of like a flower girl & have ur son holding a pillow with the rings tied onto it in the wagon. i wish i woulda thought about this for our wedding i coulda had my husbands neice who was our flower girl pull my nephew & he coulda been in it:) LOVE the idea!

Ashley - posted on 02/26/2011

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have him carry the pillow with the rings on it down...u can get one where they can b tied to it so he wont lose them bc he will inevitably tip the pillow esp @ 2. but seriously how cute would that b...i wanted my nephew to do this but he was only 10 months when we got married so that wasn't an option. & then im sure ur daughter would LOVE to b the flower girl:) SO CUTE!!! Have Fun!

Laura - posted on 02/26/2011

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We had my husbands Goddaughter be a combined flower girl/ring bearer: the ring was tied to her basket with a satin bow. She was 6 when we got married. She held my sister-in-law's hand during the rest of the ceremony and was very well behaved.

Holly - posted on 02/26/2011

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We had my husbands niece and nephew but they were 8 and 6. My nephew was 5 months old and he was there but did not participate. I didn't even notice he was there during the ceremony but when we watched the video later you could hear him chattering the whole time.

[deleted account]

Let your son and daughter walk down the aisle together. Your daughter should be able to stand at the front with the rest of the wedding party.

Two suggestions for your son:
1. Before the big day, ask someone whom your son loves and trusts to sit on the first row and watch him during the ceremony. If he wants to stand by his sister...fine. If he gets restless, ask the trusted person to get him and sit with him up front...or take him out if absolutely necessary.

2. Ask one of the groomsmen that your son knows to have some sort of sweets in his pocket. He can discretely pass them off to your son so your son will stand still at the front.

I like number 1 better, but I've seen number 2 in action and it worked for that particular kid.

Laura - posted on 02/26/2011

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When we got married my son was 14 mo and my nephew was 20 mo. My son was honnarary (sp?) best man and my nephew was the ring bearer. I didn't have any girls that were that close to us so we just had those two and they were pulled up in a decorated wagon by my personal attendant. We just had everything late enough that it was after nap time.



Congrats and good luck to you!!!!



Edited to add we also had a friend that was deemed "Cian watcher" (my son) and we invited my sis in laws mother so she could watch my nephew.

Liz - posted on 02/26/2011

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My parents both had kids from previous relationships and they were 5,7,9,10 and my mom was pregnant with me. They had them in the wedding.

Amanda - posted on 02/26/2011

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Our son was 8 months when we got married. I was very thankful to have grandma there to distract him when he got a little grumpy. Maybe one of your parents can be a designated "on call" grandparent just in case your two-year-old decides that he doesn't want to be a part of the wedding midway down the isle.

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yes i had my daughter there and my siters children and my cusions children etc...... they bring the light 2 the day, i loved havin them there it was my excuse 2 gt up and dance quite badly just 2 make them laugh!! xx oh and my little girl was 3 at the time, wen she got tied my nieghbour took her home 2 bed x

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When my hubby and I got married I tell people I got the 2 for 1 special, because he has a daughter from a previous realtionship who lives with us full time. We wanted her to be included inthe wedding, so she was our flower girl AND we included her in the vows. We said our vows to each other and then we brought her in between us and promised to love her forever and always be there for her through everything. Then she said the same thing, but from a kid's point of view. I wrote the vows myself, but I can't remember them off the top of my head. I'll look for them and post them later if you want :) It was a wonderful way to include all of us in the ceremony and my daughter still remembers it and cherishes the memory to this day (she's 8 now and she was 4 when we got married).

When my best friend got married she and her fiancee had a little boy who was almost 3. He was the ring bearer and he also stood between her and her hubby while they took their vows. He was too young to actually participate (like my daughter did), but they made a point of including him in every aspect of the wedding - she held him while they lit the unity candle, he helped his daddy put the ring on mommy's finger, etc. It was really cute.

Kimi - posted on 02/25/2011

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My wedding was very private with about 40 people(no bridesmaids or grooms men). My stepdaughter was only 3 and did not attend. We did a reception the next day with a lot more people. My stepdaughter helped cut the cake. All the little girls(my 3 nieces and my stepdaughter) had on matching dresses and it was very fun for them to all feel like they were a part of my wedding. We did a special photo shoot with them and they helped entertain the guests by dancing the night away.
My advise would be to keep it simple. Just having them go down the isle together all dressed up will be the icing on the wedding cake even if the little guy starts crying or something. Have someone take responsibility for the kids so you can just enjoy the fact that they are there without needing to worry about them.

[deleted account]

my dd is 27 months and has just been a flower girl she went fine however the pageboy was a bit grumpy so the sent them down holding a bridesmaids hand each.
We also put lollies in the groomsmans pocet so when they got down there they got a lolly worked great!
Good luck with your special day :D

Kaitlin - posted on 02/25/2011

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Our oldest was in our wedding. She was 15 months at the time. I just had her walk down the ilse with a rose. Nothing major but it was still cute. Since your daughter is 7, you can have her be a flower girl. I was a flower girl in my cousin's wedding when I was 8. I think that would be cute. Your son, I dont know. Maybe just walk down the ilse with something, like a rose or the pillow with the rings on it. I don't know how your son is. Well I wish you luck on all that and Congrats on getting married!! :D

Amy - posted on 02/25/2011

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2 - hopefully not doing ceremony at nap or lunchtime. otherwise, shouldn't be too hard. My daughter was 18 months old and a flower girl. Flower girls walked with their moms since we each had a daughter under 3 - we just held their hands and htey dumped petals out of a bucket. At my sister's, the ring bearer's dad was at the front - holding a sucker that he always traded the boy in practice for the pillow with pretend rings on it.

Jodi - posted on 02/25/2011

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Yes, my husband and I had kids from our previous relationships, and when we got married they were 11,6 and 4, and we involved them in the wedding and ensured they had were catered for at the reception. We then hired a sitter and had someone take them back to our hotel to sleep. Yes, we spent our wedding night with our kids, but we had a very large suite, with a separate wing for ourselves, so it worked for us. But then, our kids were a little older.



With the ceremony, both my husband and I also had vows to say to one another's children. After all, this wasn't just our wedding, it was theirs too, because they were getting a new family. We really wanted to make the day special for them as well.

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