What do i do when my daughter's dad is with a new woman and she is talking bad about me in front of my daughter?

Andrea - posted on 04/27/2012

Thank u.

Judith - posted on 04/27/2012

aww ok :) well I wish nothing but the best for you and your daughter !!! I hope everything works out for the best....and I have a feeling it will :) you are a great person and mother and don't ever forget that !!

Andrea - posted on 04/26/2012

Thanks judith. I won't have to put up with this much longer cause i'm moving.

Judith - posted on 04/26/2012

Everything will work out sooner or later....just hang in there and keep trying to smile everyday ! Don't let them get to you...I'm sure this is making them feel high and mighty when they know it gets to you....Just hang in there and be thankful for your child !!! You sound like a wonderful person and I'm very sure your daughter knows this no matter what anyone may try to put in her ear !!!

Andrea - posted on 04/25/2012

Thanks. I'm trying my hardest to deal with this but i'm civil with her dad.

Brittany - posted on 04/25/2012

I would say the situation does not change just because she's in foster care.



If she's too young to write, maybe record her? Most phones have this option... I would also consider doing the same with the father during a convo with him..



If the case workers not attempting to mediate, I would go to her superior, if you are concerned enough.



If not, do as Judith recommended and reiterate to your daughter these things are not true, and it's not nice to speak about other people behind their back. That you love her tons, and will always be their to support her in understanding of how to be a kind person..



People can be cruel, especially in situations as yourself, they can be judgmental and cold. I truly do wish you the best and hope you can help your daughter have the best impression of you as possible. Take care.

Andrea - posted on 04/25/2012

My daughter is only three, she isn't able to write yet. Yes i have said something to my case worker. I figured let them deal with it since my daughter is in foster care.

Judith - posted on 04/25/2012

Did you let your case worker aware of this ? Maybe try to catch her saying something or have your child write down what this woman is saying about you and show that to your case worker...might help a little with your case and worries.

Andrea - posted on 04/25/2012

That's what im working on. My daughter is in foster care but im going for full custody. My caseworker has told that woman he is with to not talk bad about me in front of my daughter but she continues to do it.

Judith - posted on 04/25/2012

Aww....hun Im so sorry...Just try to hang in there and I guess keep your distance from him and the female he is with and just always let your child know that you are a great person and you will be there for her/him whenever they need you and you are the better person cause you don't go around bad mouthing moms like they do ! It's all about your child and how they see you no matter what anyone says ...it's your job ( and a very fun one ) to teach your kid not to be like those kind of people that make fun of others or make accusations that are not true and to be the better person ! Your kid will grow to know that hey...My Mom taught me to be a great person and that no matter what someone might say or feel about my mom or anyone....My mom kicks butt and is super cool cause she has a heart and taught me to have one too !! ....I hope this kinda makes you feel a little better...This is what I would do if I was in this situation...well...the good thing to do at least :P hehe

Brittany - posted on 04/25/2012

If you can't discuss with him, I would bring it directly to the courts. I know I wasn't aloud around my fathers 'girlfriend' for this exact reason - court ordered.



You can't leave your child suseptible to this, if she cares enough for your ex she would change her ways and embrace this is YOUR child too.



Maybe call him when you know he wouldn't be with her.. for example work, or when he picks your daughter up...

Andrea - posted on 04/25/2012

I can't even talk to my daughter's dad cause she starts stuff with my like calling me names and bashing me to my friends.

Judith - posted on 04/25/2012

I totally agree with Brittany on this about talking to your child so that he or she knows that those things are not true and then to talk with the father and let him know that you are hurt by this. I hope everything works out for you hunny !! Hang in there and know that you are a great person and mother and try not to let this get to you too much because in some cases....the ones that are bad mouthing ...are just really jealous !! Keep being you and don't let anyone ever make you think different !

Brittany - posted on 04/25/2012

I would be extremally upset. Have a discussion with the father explaining your concerns and what your daughter has heard. If it isn't stopped I would file a petition through the courts requesting your daughter not be allowed around this woman. She could damage your relationship with your child very easily, I would be irate.



Also when speaking with your child make sure she understands these things are not true, but at the same time you should not bad mouth the new girlfriend, as she may be staying around and it could inhibate more issues.



Good luck, what an awful situation your ex has you in. He sould be supportive of you and should have interupted what ever was being said. Also he should have corrected his girlfriend ensuring your child didn't leave with a bad perception of her mother, and also ensuring the girlfriend left the conversation understanding that is completely unacceptable.



My son has a disaster of a father. Who is very rarely in the picture, and although I will never make him out to be father of the year, I would also NEVER bad mouth him to my son.