What do you think about marriage counseling?Does it really help?

Ashley - posted on 02/17/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been together for 8 yrs in May married for 3 in June.Our relationship was great until we had our first child in 2005 then everything went down hill.We've seperated a few times and then got back together had our 2nd child in 2007 everything was ok for a while and now its back to the same ole thing.We've been talking about marriage counseling now and I was wondering if anyone else has been through it and if it worked or helped etc...Thanks

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Brandi - posted on 02/17/2010

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You BOTH have to be willing to have an open mind with the therapist. Also, the two of you are having problems now,so obviously whatever you are doing (or not doing) isn't working right now, so anything the therapist might have to suggest would be willing to try. Good luck and I hope you guys are successful at counseling.

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Megan - posted on 02/18/2010

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My fiancee and I are not married and really have no idea when we will get married. For us it is just a piece of paper making it 'legal'. But if or when we do decide to have a wedding I would like to go to marriage counselling before getting married just to be sure any issues we may have are resolved before. I think marriage counselling is a good thing.

User - posted on 02/17/2010

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I think marriage counseling works if BOTH people are open and willing. My sister and her husband are going through counseling as they have had a really hard time since getting married...got pregnant almost right away then she was diagnosed with cancer, he lost his job due to the economy, etc...They have been married a little over 4 years. She wants it to work, He isn't willing to fully open up and thinks it is a crock. So it is really not working for them.

Briana - posted on 02/17/2010

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My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now. We got married really quick after meeting eachother and we had a lot of issues. We went to marriage counceling and it really helped us. Sometime when you have someone else listening to what you are saying it helps you collect your thoughts and communicate them in a better way than you could do on your own. You both have to want to do it and you both need to want to work on it! Also I don't know about your religous preferences but God has been a big part in our marriage and when we started going to church regularly it also helped us as a couple. Good luck!

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It's different for everyone. We went and it helped us, but it made me hate the people more that caused us to go in the first place. Those people went with us to a couple of meetings and put down mine and my husbands marriage so instead of it helping us it just made me hate them even more. The counseling itself helped me and my husband, we discovered things we were both doing wrong. And the counseler helped us understand eachothers points when we argue. We also got financial counseling from him and we are doing so much better now. We have been together for almost ten years and married for almost 5, we love eachother... even more after the counseling.

Kelly - posted on 02/17/2010

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my husband and myself went through marriage counseling i cant say if it helped us or not we stopped going porlly not a good idea i think it depends on how things are now at home if you both still feel anything and if you believe it can work it prolly will i can tell you this you guys are still together and your not divorced yet that says something right there as long as you two put in 100% to at least try to make it work things could turn out for you

Carolee - posted on 02/17/2010

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If both of you are serious about wanting to stay together, it is likely to work. But, if one of you is just "going through the motions" to please the other one and is not planning on taking it seriously, it definately will not work at all! It's worth a shot no matter what, though. At least you'll know for sure after a while.

Kate - posted on 02/17/2010

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First, and foremost, counseling works for some and not for others. I think it all depends on the people involved. Are you both willing to talk about things that are causing trouble or is it only one-sided? If both of you are truly willing to worth through the issues that you might be having then I'd say it's worth a shot. It can be helpful to have a person, who is not partial to either one of you, help you sort through things that put tension on your marriage.

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