What do you think about other people disciplining your child while you’re standing right there?

Rachael - posted on 07/01/2011

I have a small group of friends all of whom I would trust to babysit my son, I do not have an issue with any of them telling him "no" or correcting an unsafe behavior. We have had conversations about our rules and things that my son can and can't do, and I would hope that if one of them sees my son doing something unsafe or something that he should not do that they would correct the issue. I do however draw the line when it comes to physical punishment (not including grabbing him to prevent him from hurting himself) My husband and I both say that we reserve the right to change our minds but we have not physically disciplined our son yet. (we get a kick out of the parents smacking their child saying "we don't hit")
I also do not hesitate to step in if another child is doing something that is either dangerous, potentially dangerous, or against "house rules" wherever we are. (I feel it falls along the same category as if you notice another kid's diaper needs changing) you need to bring it to the attention of the parents. I have done so at the library, playground, ect and other parents typically thank me,

the way I handle it. "Susie, don't throw the sand, it could get into someone's eyes and hurt them." or "Jeff, I think Billy needs a diaper change." I never yell at a child and I don't physically discipline or place the child in timeout, but I do correct the action.

Jena - posted on 07/01/2011

The only time I feel it is right to reprimand another person's child is when it is dangerous. For example, we were at a park one day, and this kid, whose parent was 50 yards away watching a soccor game, started throwing this gigantic rock right throught the middle of the play ground. I mean, it was hitting the metal that held up the slides, fire pole, bridge, etc. I was alarmed the first couple of times, and I knew it was dangerous, but thought the kid couldn't possible do that again. But he did. The rock looked like it was heading towards one of my daughters as it spiraled through the air, clanging against more metal. Luckily it didn't, but as soon as I saw how close it came and how innocent the rest of the little children were to the danger, I told the boy straight out that it was too dangerous and that he shouldn't throw the rodk anymore. Luckily, he listened. The parent wasn't even around to correct him, nor did she hear my quick warning. But I am so glad no one got hurt. Why didn't I act sooner?

Amy - posted on 03/30/2011

I had my five year old over @ a very close girlfriend of mine's home for a play date. My five year old was asked twice not to play with the styrofoam her husband had out due to building a desk. I had walked in to pick my five year old up, and witnessed my friends husband grab hold of her by the shoulder and say "Vivian has to leave, You have to go, I have asked her to stop playing with the styrofoam, and she is not listening. I realize that listening is important, but a five year old being intrigued with styrofoam to the point of not being able to resist is normal. An adult kicking a five year old out of his home for not listening over styrofoam is unsettling. I mean, why not just put the styrofoam up?? My friend took her controlling husbands side, when I became very upset about his reaction to my five year old.He should have told me about it, I was there, not scare my kid to death. You would have thought she had harmed another child the way this nutcracker reacted. I think parents should go to all play dates, you can't trust some of these crazies! My friend sent me an e-mail saying that what I perceived of her husband was inaccurate...what do you other parents think? I am not letting my five year old back there again...mothers instinct.

Amy - posted on 03/30/2011

I had my five year old over @ a very close girlfriend of mine's home for a play date. My five year old was asked twice not to play with the styrofoam her husband had out due to building a desk. I had walked in to pick my five year old up, and witnessed my friends husband grab hold of her by the shoulder and say "Vivian has to leave, You have to go, I have asked her to stop playing with the styrofoam, and she is not listening. I realize that listening is important, but a five year old being intrigued with styrofoam to the point of not being able to resist is normal. An adult kicking a five year old out of his home for not listening over styrofoam is unsettling. I mean, why not just put the styrofoam up?? My friend took her controlling husbands side, when I became very upset about his reaction to my five year old.He should have told me about it, I was there, not scare my kid to death. You would have thought she had harmed another child the way this nutcracker reacted. I think parents should go to all play dates, you can't trust some of these crazies! My friend sent me an e-mail saying that what I perceived of her husband was inaccurate...what do you other parents think? I am not letting my five year old back there again...mothers instinct.

Amy - posted on 03/30/2011

I had my five year old over @ a very close girlfriend of mine's home for a play date. My five year old was asked twice not to play with the styrofoam her husband had out due to building a desk. I had walked in to pick my five year old up, and witnessed my friends husband grab hold of her by the shoulder and say "Vivian has to leave, You have to go, I have asked her to stop playing with the styrofoam, and she is not listening. I realize that listening is important, but a five year old being intrigued with styrofoam to the point of not being able to resist is normal. An adult kicking a five year old out of his home for not listening over styrofoam is unsettling. I mean, why not just put the styrofoam up?? My friend took her controlling husbands side, when I became very upset about his reaction to my five year old.He should have told me about it, I was there, not scare my kid to death. You would have thought she had harmed another child the way this nutcracker reacted. I think parents should go to all play dates, you can't trust some of these crazies! My friend sent me an e-mail saying that what I perceived of her husband was inaccurate...what do you other parents think? I am not letting my five year old back there again...mothers instinct.

Amy - posted on 03/30/2011

I had my five year old over @ a very close girlfriend of mine's home for a play date. My five year old was asked twice not to play with the styrofoam her husband had out due to building a desk. I had walked in to pick my five year old up, and witnessed my friends husband grab hold of her by the shoulder and say "Vivian has to leave, You have to go, I have asked her to stop playing with the styrofoam, and she is not listening. I realize that listening is important, but a five year old being intrigued with styrofoam to the point of not being able to resist is normal. An adult kicking a five year old out of his home for not listening over styrofoam is unsettling. I mean, why not just put the styrofoam up?? My friend took her controlling husbands side, when I became very upset about his reaction to my five year old.He should have told me about it, I was there, not scare my kid to death. You would have thought she had harmed another child the way this nutcracker reacted. I think parents should go to all play dates, you can't trust some of these crazies! My friend sent me an e-mail saying that what I perceived of her husband was inaccurate...what do you other parents think? I am not letting my five year old back there again...mothers instinct.

Cindy - posted on 11/20/2009

i wouldnt be worried abt offending her too much if shes a real friend then she will accept it otherwise shes not worth being friends with but then again u have to ask urself is she really a friend if she does that to u and ur son in the first place. my philosophy is u can mess with me as much as u like but NEVER mess with my kids otherwise suffer the consequences

Chasity - posted on 11/20/2009

well to me it depends on who the person is. i have no problem if its like her auntie or uncles, grandparents etc. i do still believe in the old school learning. takes a villiage to raise a child.

Ashley - posted on 11/20/2009

I completely disagree with this! If my child is acting up and I'm not noticing it...tell me about it. I don't even let really close friends do it and I don't do it to there kids.

Marie - posted on 11/20/2009

Have to say I would be telling her off. I've had one friend who gave my daughter a time out in front of me and all I said was "Don't mess with baby bear while Momma's standing here, your not going to like what happens to you" Needless to say we don't talk to much anymore but she's never touched or said anything to my daughter since. The only time someone other than you or the other parent should say anything is in case of an emergancy (which this was not) then I could understand if it's between life and death then your forgiven otherwise don't mess with my kids. Tell her how you feel and you'll find out if she's a real friend or not.

Liz - posted on 11/20/2009

That is wrong...I have 3 children and would never let anyone yell at them. The most anyone has done to discipline my children is to stick them in a corner, but only if I'm not there to handle it and only if we have previously discussed it.

Liz - posted on 11/20/2009

That is wrong...I have 3 children and would never let anyone yell at them. The most anyone has done to discipline my children is to stick them in a corner, but only if I'm not there to handle it and only if we have previously discussed it.

Matiqua - posted on 11/20/2009

Can never happen. Only I will discipline my child. Especially if you are standing right there no one should be doing that, and even if you weren't that parent should merely ask for you or look for you and tell you what happened so that you deal with your child.

Nirvana - posted on 11/20/2009

That is not right at all... if i am there i WILL be the ONLY one to discipline my son(except my partner) if my son is in someone else's care e'g family member, friend, then they can as long as it is within my guide lines e.g time out not spanking.

Matiqua - posted on 11/20/2009

Can never happen. Only I will discipline my child. Especially if you are standing right there no one should be doing that, and even if you weren't that parent should merely ask for you or look for you and tell you what happened so that you deal with your child.

Alisha - posted on 11/20/2009

It all depends for me, if its my mom i dont mind, i have an issue with the ones who dont discipline their own child but will try to discpline yours, or the one who child always does something and blames it one the other child and the parent gets on the other child without knowing what happened...but in your situation i would address the friend

Mae - posted on 11/20/2009

I have a friend who is like this too. Everytime she comes over she is always yelling at my daughter, and it just frankly, ticks me off. I used to ignore it a little, but here lately...it REALLY irritates me.



She also just recently had her first child (and I have 3) and she REALLY yells at my daughter now for EVERYTHING (and my daughter doesn't even go NEAR her son). The last time she did it, I had enough and I told her to stop, I didn't appreciate it. I was RIGHT THERE and saw everything my daughter was doing, and we were at our own home. She said she was just trying to help since I have 3 kids (a 2 year old and a set of 6 month old boy twins) I said well thanks but no thanks, I have it under control. I'm home alone with my kids all the time I think I can handle it. And my daughter is actually very well behaved.



She hasn't bossed my daughter around for quite awhile. And we're still friends.



LOL And as her son gets older...she realizes it isn't easy to be a mom, ESPECIALLY when they start getting mobile!



Good luck with your friend!

Laura - posted on 11/20/2009

I agree... my child is only 9 months and is starting to crawl and walk and when we are at church or even sometimes at the in laws I would find that even though I am standing right there my poor little girl has a ton of people yelling "NO" or "DON"T TOUCH". and it would really bother me. I didn't know what to do about it but one day she had like 10 people yell at her and she instantly started crying because she was so scared. So I KINDLY let those people know that I appreciate the fact that they care enough about my child to try to keep her safe, I would prefer if they let the discipline to me because I do not want to yell at my little one just yet;I try to use redirection alot; I also let them no that by all means I know that I can not watch her at every second and that if she is doing something to could harm her and I can not get to her in time I would be alright with them helping me out. And I tryed to make it seem like I wanted Cadence to really like them. I said " I want Cadence to be able to think of you all as friends and people that she loves and I'm not sure if that can happen when she feels so threatened by all the voices yelling at her" And thank goodness they all seemed to understand and I haven't had too much trouble since.

Tilainnia - posted on 11/20/2009

they are your children and you should be the only one telling them what to do. put your foot down girl

Christie - posted on 11/20/2009

i have a mother in law who likes to tell my kids what to do..... i hate it, i'm the parent i should be the one who does it!

Tiffany - posted on 11/20/2009

I totally agree with that my husbands, sons, girlfriend will yell at my kids just for them looking at her daughter wrong I would love sometimes just to hit her...lol but anyway you just flat out tell them I am here this is my kid, I will let him know when he has done something wrong...I don't appreciate you disaplining my son. They may get mad at you but oh well it's your son stand up to your rights as a mother...if you don't tell her now she may one day put her hands on your son and that's a NO NO!

Tiffany - posted on 11/20/2009

I totally agree with that my husbands, sons, girlfriend will yell at my kids just for them looking at her daughter wrong I would love sometimes just to hit her...lol but anyway you just flat out tell them I am here this is my kid, I will let him know when he has done something wrong...I don't appreciate you disaplining my son. They may get mad at you but oh well it's your son stand up to your rights as a mother...if you don't tell her now she may one day put her hands on your son and that's a NO NO!

Tonia - posted on 11/20/2009

Quoting Danielle:

I'm torn in this subject.
I believe that if you aren't parenting your child, then be prepared to have other people step in because someone needs to parent them. Passive parenting leads to nothing but problems. BUT, I do NOT believe that strangers should ever step in and discipline your child. They should come to you, the parent. Friends on the other hand, who see your child often, and know where their faults (not listening, back talking, violent acts) are different. If you don't parent your child, you should expect that a friend who notices your lack of parenting will step in.
I haven't always felt this way.
I know a couple who don't discipline their child at all. They are very passive towards their now 4 year old. When they tell him "don't play with your happy meal toy till your done with your nuggets", the child waits 30secs and then grabs the toy. The parents see this and just dismiss it... even later changing their 'ruling' by saying "don't slide that toy across the table while were eating". I normally just ignored their lack of discipline (and parenting for that matter) until I took their son to work with me one day as a favor bc their babysitter was not available. I was a nanny for twin 18month old boys and had been since the boys were 6mo. I had put the twins in bed for a nap and told the then 3year old "I'll be right back, I have to use the potty. Wait right here in the playroom and we'll play and game when I get back". I was LITERALLY gone 30secs and I hear this bloodcurdling scream from both the twins. I ran in and the older boy was standing near their beds, just standing there. I immediately asked what happened and he says, "nothing." When I bent down to comfort them, both boys had scratch marks down their face and were bleeding. The older boy actually when in there and scratched them under the eyes and down their cheeks, purposely hurting them. I was in shock that a three year old could and would do this. I begged the 3yr old to tell me what happened. He denied and denied, saying nothing happened and I don't know. I took him in the other room, put him on the couch for time out and told him not to move until I came back. I went back into the twins room and held them as they screamed in pain in order to comfort them. I was in such shock that I cried hysterically because this three year old did such an awful thing to sleeping babies. When I had calmed down (about 3-4 mins) I went to the room where the older child was and he was gone. He had left his seat and gone into the playroom to play like nothing had happened. I was so angry but moreover his parents because this could have been prevented with disciplining him beforehand. (I'm sure this wasn't the first time something like this happened). Needless to say, I called his parents and told them what happened and that they needed to come get their son. And of course, they went with the "oh it was an accident", "he didn't mean to," "are you sure he even did it," which of course made me even more upset with their lack of parenting. After that when I was around the couple and their son and I'd see such behavior (not listening, back talking, violent act) I'd step in. Either to tell him "no" or to make sure he did what he was suppose to be or not suppose to be doing... 98% of the time while his passive parents were near by.
So, in response to your question, if your child is a repetive offender and is continuing to to the same act over and over, you should except people who see this to step in and discipline him because if not, he'll just continue.
If you honestly feel that your child is being punished for nothing, then talk with the other parent. Tell her that you would prefer to discipline your child if he's doing something wrong and that if she has a problem that she needs to come to you.

Yup I agree with her!

I see alot of people just automatically saying No! Like I said... Overall I say No to others disciplining (unless its a sitter and your not there)... BUT really now... I am not saying you are like the passive parents she is describing or that I am thinking of from my own encounters, but there is a line. 

A lot of people wrote its disrespectful to do such a thing. Well it is also very disrespectful to allow your kids to grab toys from others and keep them, hit, or scream at other children or adults! In those cases i definetltly think it is not only exceptable but a right. It is not just one person repremending anothers kids it is a person defending their own child! Also setting an example of good and bad! It is the difference between those that learn to be accountable for their actions and those that are taught they can get away with what they want!  ACCOUNTABILITY is something people lack in teaching their children a lot now of days! 

BUT people really do over step their boundaries a lot too! There is a fine line and many people just don't know it! I think it is only exceptable to step in when it is important. I don't think another should feel the need to constantly step in even if they don't like anothers parenting.  Unfortunintely most people do not know where these lines other...

Weather it be letting their child do whatever it pleases at the distress of others and than getting offended... OR Weather it be overstepping boundaries and being out of place!

Tonia - posted on 11/20/2009

REPRIMEND OR DISCIPLINE CUZ THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE? I do not think it okay to ever discipline another child (unless it is somebody watching them when you are not there, even than it should be basic stuff like warnings, time-out or taking something away if the child is really being naughty). but if your standing right there, there is no reason at all that someone should punish your child. BUT I think reprimending is different for instance I have had to tell some of my friends children not to hit... Hey if they are not going to do it I will. i don't want bad behavior rubbing off on my own children because someone else can't say NO to their child! I think in those type of cases it is exceptable!

Nia - posted on 11/20/2009

Thats wrong for your friend to do that. I hope you let her know. I could see if your son was doing something and you ignored it. Kids will be kids....if she gets upset about her child being tapped or touched maybe she shouldn't allow her child to interact with other children.

Amanda - posted on 11/20/2009

I agree! I can't stand it when people are telling my child no when I am standing there. I am the parent and I feel I am the only one (my husband, too) that should discipline our children UNLESS I am not around and we have given permission to an individual.

Vanessa - posted on 11/20/2009

I don't see a problem with it as long as I know the person and I see what my child has done is wrong. On the same note I have quite a few friends who parent like I do so I know if she gets in trouble there would be a good reason for it. I try not to interfer if she is getting in trouble, I think it is also about learning to respect elders no matter who they are to her and also learning right from wrong. However if it is a smack for a punishment then we would have problems but as I said most of my friends have the same parenting style and my family know that we do not smack as a form of punishment (only grandchild at the moment).

Sam - posted on 11/19/2009

i agree i think that if ur standing there or even in the same house its up to you to dicipline your child the way you have decided to.. its no good someone just telling him off if at ur house he has to sit in the naughty corner or whatever its likly to confuses the child or make him think that he can get away without proper dicipline or be let of lightly while your out, which would make it all the more diffucult for you. Unfortunatly there is no real easy way to tell your friend you dont appreciate her punishing ur child

Sarah - posted on 11/19/2009

I believe just because you are a parent as well that doesn't automatically give you the right to discipline someone else's child. It is the responsiblity of the parent to govern what type of discipline, if any, is called for. If one of my friends did something like that with my daughter, whether i was standing there or not, there would be a couple words exchanged, since i would never assume to do that to their children.

Andrea - posted on 11/19/2009

I think you need to talk to you friend and let her know how you feel. You are the mom and no one has right to discipline your son except for you and the dad of course ,after all you pushed him out not your friend!

Kristina - posted on 11/19/2009

I think it's completely unacceptable to discipline someone elses child right in front of them, I oprobably wouldn't be too nice in making that clear to the person doing the disciplining...on the other hand, if you were doing it the person wouldnt feel the need to butt in, unless theyre just being ridiculous. It's one thing for someone whos around your child a lot to say something to him/her...totally different if it's someone who barely knows your child. For instance, my best friend is my sons babysitter, she knows my parenting style and knows what is acceptable and what isnt...therefore if she were to say something to him I wouldn't mind as much, ecspecially if I didn't see what happened.

Cindy - posted on 11/19/2009

i have a philosophy when it comes to this situation if i am there and my child does something wrong then i do the discipline but if im not there and they r in the care of someone else (usually my mum) then she is allowed to discipline them but they only ever get a smack on the hand or bottom from either of us and they dont get yelled at but do get told no at their level so they know they are doing the wrong thing. i had a situation with one of my mums friends that got into my 5 yr olds face for being cheeky and i abused the living daylights out of her and needless to say she is no longer friends with my mum either. friends should respect u and ur kids and ur right to discipline them if u are there she is obviously not a very good friend if she is doing this to ur child as that is verbal abuse and will scare the child. hope this helps :-)

CJ - posted on 11/19/2009

I agree. My daughter is only 9 months old, and I already have issues with that. I had a talk with my little brother because everytime she gets into something when he's in the room and I tell her no, he turns around and starts telling her no too and not to do that. I get so irritated, she's my baby, it's my job to tell her what she can and can't have. I don't need his help in getting my child to listen to me. Then the other day, I had the tupperware cupboard in our kitchen open for her to play in while I did dishes and he comes in and tells her she can't play with them(because they'd get dirty on the floor, who cares, I'll wash them), he just doesn't seem to understand that he has no place in telling her what she can and can't do, it's not his decision.

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2009

i think that you are the mom and i cant stand it when people do it to me. it is the most aggravating thing in the world.i would politely tell them to back off that they have no right to discipline him when you are standing right there. he is your son not theirs

Cossette - posted on 11/19/2009

people should just mind their own buisness and let the parent be responsible.

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2009

With you standing there?!? No way! I dont think thats right. She should say something to you first so you can take charge of your child.

Bridget - posted on 11/19/2009

This is a touchy subject for most people. I have a pretty big issue with other people disciplining my child when I am present. However, if I know how you parent your kids, or how you take care of other kids, and I don't agree with it. Then I'm not going to leave my child with you. If I am not present, than I expect my child to be handled the same way that person would handle their own child. I have a friend that tries to do this every single time she comes over to my house, while her kid is running around, jumping on my furniture, acting like a crazy person, she decides to try and discipline my child. Whom is not nearly that bad. I simply say to my daughter (in ear shot of my friend of course) " I am YOUR MOTHER, and I want you to listen to ME", I've found usually this backs her up.

Terri - posted on 11/19/2009

Other people disciplining your children, without your permission is rude! They seem to be control freaks! Just sit down and talk with your and explain to her, that it is your responsibility to discipline your child.

Benancia - posted on 11/19/2009

Quoting Patricia:

What do you think about other people disciplining your child while you’re standing right there?

For example I have a friend who also has a child and if my son even touches her child, before I can do anything, she is yelling at him telling him NO don’t do that! Personally, if I am standing right there I should be the one to talk to him about what he’s done.

i am in the same boat with a few of my peps.. i agree completely with you and understand where you are coming from

Katrina - posted on 11/19/2009

Oh this one hits home with me. My negative thought goes out to my parents who do me a huge favor by keeping my child before and after school so I can get to my job on time. The only thing is that my mother will get onto my son right in front of me while I am trying to do the same, so my child ends up with 2 people trying to correct him. It irritates the fire out of me! I know her motherly instincts are kicking in and I try to calm down before getting upset but c'mon I'm right there. I know how to discipline my child and all it does to him is frustrate him and he gets upset and confused. I have talked to my mom about this but it does not do any good. All I know to do is tell her to politely back off and let me correct him, my father has my back but my mom doesnt quite understand and I know she just wants to help me and I appreciate it but it also causes me to feel a bit out of control. I guess it could be worse...

Cassandra - posted on 11/19/2009

you are the one that should do the disciplining and if the friend doesnt like something your child does then he/she should speak to u about it- it can confuse a child when the wrong person has something to say

Kylie - posted on 11/19/2009

I think that people should give the parents an opportunity to do something, but sometimes it's not possible. I was at the library the other day with my son (11months) and an older girl (about 4) was playing with him, then for no reason she slapped his face, and then raised her hand to do it again, I pick up my son and told her that it is not nice to hit people, her mother then gave me the dirtiest look. I'm the one with the now screaming baby, she was going to keep hitting him, what was I meant to do, let her?

Francesca - posted on 11/18/2009

I complete agree with how everyone feels. I feel the same way. However, I had to address why I felt this way and was this the best way to approach discipline with my daughter. And I came to a completely different conclusion.



I don't like it but most of it is because of my own emotions. I don't like some other person having the nerve to yell at my little girl. I don't like it because who do they think they are, me? What was so wrong? Who are they to judge? And when it came down to it, it was my own insecurities that I had a problem with. And I feel that most children don't respect boundaries. And so, I want Ella to respect boundraries set by everyone. Because I will not be able to follow her when she starts school. Or when she is old enough to go to a friends house. She needs to respect her elders. Not just me.



So although I absolutely HATE it. I allow it. Sometimes I ask people to rephrase it for future issues. No need to be harsh, yell or be rude. Courtesty still counts. But never infront of my little girl. I don't want her to think that she can learn to disregard warnings just because they said it rude either.

Kryss - posted on 11/18/2009

If she is a friend....explain to her that you can handle your child as she can her own. Also explain that it bothers you. If she is just someone you are around put your foot down bc rather its my family members or a friend or someone at my church they respect me...yet they also know that he respects them:)

Pam - posted on 11/18/2009

I dont mind someone else disciplining my child if i am standing there sometimes my boy wont listen to me. but i do have a problem if he is just getting growled for no reason. and i hate it when you are trying to discipline your child and others are butting in that just confuses hym even more.

Bridgette - posted on 11/18/2009

I agree with you. The only time another person should get after your child while you are in the room is if they see something dangerous before you do. And all that should be is a quick no and take away or move whatever is hazardous and hand your child back to you to deal with. That's it.

Danyella - posted on 11/18/2009

Patricia, your friend sounds overly sensitive and someone I wouldn't have around my child too much. My best friend has an acquaintance that is like your friend & I can't stand the witch. I refer to my bf's sons as my nephews, they are like my babies, so I get very mama bear when I see others treating my babies unfairly. However, I do discipline my nephews b/c their mom doesn't always do it. I am consistent and strict. I am fair and reasonable w/ the kids and she's fine with it. Her kids know I can spank them (which I don't) and I always wear a belt and they know Auntie will use it! lol Some people need extra help disciplining their kids, while others don't.



Next time just tell your friend "I got this!" when your son "acts out" in a manner she doesn't like. I think she'll also get the clue once you stop hanging out w/ her so much. If she's a real friend, she'll hear you out. Make sure to use "I" statements and be calm and relaxed when you talk w/ her! Good luck!

Ernyta - posted on 11/18/2009

I agree! Your methods my not be the same as hers and she ought to at least observe how you would like for your child to be handled. You obviously didn't like the yelling. A friend of mine was over for a visit when we brought the new baby home and my one year old (2 in two weeks) was being a terror so I told him to sit down (about 30 times lol) and when he did he cried a bit and she told him to get up and come sit with her. Now, I wanted to snap but that would've been a bad example for the children so I held my peace. The catch with friends is that if they have no children they think it's nothing to it and they could do it better if given the chance to raise YOUR babies. Friends with children think that they are doing a better job with their own and would love a shot at, again- YOUR babies. I say a little prayer in my head and sanity is restored. Good luck with that friend because if she intimidates your child to a point of discomfort she's going to force you to have to put her in her place. :-)

Shawna - posted on 11/18/2009

it really ticks me off. it's like that person is saying that you aren't a good enough mother to handle it yourself.

Lauren - posted on 11/18/2009

I don't think it is right to discipline other peoples children personally i would let my friend know it is hard enough for parents to teach their children discipline without the help of their friends or relatives kids get confussed easily and it can cause behaviour problems. I do also understand where your friend is coming from though it is natural reaction if another kid hurts your child to tell them off i know i can be like that with my nephew because he is so much bigger that my little one but it doesnt bother my sister in-law she is fine with it. I personally would not like other people to tell my chld off i am her mother and it is my responsibility but you also need to let your friend know you dont like it when she does it. Hopefully i could be of some help