What do you think?! Honest replies please!

Amanda - posted on 11/05/2010 ( 103 moms have responded )

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I am a 24 yr old with 4 children. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my son and 17 when I had him he is now almost 7. My oldest daughter is 4, my middle daughter is almost 3 and my youngest is almost 2. I am a stay at home mom and do daycare out of my home as well. The question I have is if you smoke or someone you know smokes cigarettes, do you smoke indoors with your children there or do you go outside? Do you smoke in the car as well or wait until your stopped and outside? I smoke outside of my home. It's my own prefrence and opinion and with the second hand smoke rate so high I don't want to take the chance of my children getting sick. My son already has asthma. I also don't smoke in my vehicle either. I'll wait until we are stopped and smoke quick before I get the children out. My daycare childrens mother smokes as well but doesn't smoke in her house either. I respect my home and don't like the smell of smoke lingering inside. But I don't think that it's wrong to smoke indoors but I wouldn't advise doing it in the same room. I was just wondering some other peoples opinions on this subject!

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Dara - posted on 11/05/2010

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My honest opinion is that no one should ever smoke around their children. If I were considering a daycare, I wouldn't choose one where the caregiver smoked either, especially in the house. I don't say this to be offensive, because I completely understand what it's like to be a smoker, because I used to be one. But I also have asthma and have had to be hospitalized because of smoking and second hand smoke. I have also done some research on the effects of smoking on children, and what I found out was scary to me. I found that not only is second hand smoke just as harmful as smoking the cigarette themselves, but that the toxins in tobacco smoke also cling to fabrics an whatnot and can then be transferred to your children that way as well. I also found out that children of smokers are twice as likely to become smokers themselves, which is a scary statistic. That said, I don't presume to tell people what they can and cannot door in their own homes and vehicles, I am just against doing it with children around.

Brittany - posted on 10/03/2011

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Amanda,

Regardless if you smoke outside or in your home you are still putting your children at risk.

I can promise you that if I walked into your home right now, even after you Febreezed your couch and sprayed Glade, I would still think you home smelled like smoke. If you opened your car door I would smell smoke. I am a non-smoker and I can smell it a mile away.

The smell and smoke linger on you after you smoke. It sticks to your hair and your clothes. You could use $35.00 shampoo and I would still be able to smell it in your hair.

Smoking indoors is awful, even if you are in another room. The smoke could picked up by your air vent, it will stick to you wall, and any fabric in that room will smell like smoke. If you have ceiling vents the smoke will get sucked through there and sent through your home.

Colleen - posted on 11/12/2010

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I quit smoking the second I found out I was pregnant with my son 4 years ago but we recently took in my elderly Father who still smokes and he goes outside. I feel bad asking him to go outside but my childrens health means more to me then ANYONES habit.

Christina - posted on 11/09/2010

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Just an interesting fact (and I have nothing against smokers) my son was diagnosed with ear infections all the time. My son's father was a smoker, but would only smoke outside. We had to take our son to an ENT regarding his ear infections and the ENT told me that even though you aren't smoking around your son, the smoke still sits in your lungs an hour after each cigarette and you are still breathing it out. He said that we were still exposing our son to second hand smoke and not only was my son's father still breathing it out, but his clothes were exposing him to it as well. I saw that your son had asthma and thought that maybe this contributes to him more. Just a little fact. After my son's father found out that he was still putting our child at risk when he would smoke outside, he quit completely and our son hasn't had as many problems.

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103 Comments

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Donna - posted on 10/03/2011

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im not a smoker but my husband is. he smokes outside when my children are awake, and in the kitchen at the vent on the stove when they are upstairs in bed, which i do not agree with at all but put up with. He does not smoke in the car with the kids but gets out to smoke. if its just me and him he smokes around me which i hate bc i cant stand the smell and feel like my oxygen is being cut off. Yes i have expressed this many times ahh well to each his own i guess

Rachael - posted on 10/03/2011

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Just so you know, third hand smoke (or the stuff that sticks to your hair and clothes) is just as bad for an asthmatic child as blowing the smoke in his face.

Carlie - posted on 09/29/2011

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Good though that you don't smoke indoors. I'm sure you realize the ramifications of that one. Smoking lingers, as you have mentioned. I apologize if I came across as being too harsh. However, like I mentioned above, smoking is something people ALLOW themselves to do, because they WANT to-and to 'ell with all the other people around them. You speak of your children. Your child has asthma. I'm sure you are aware of second-hand smoke and what that does to someone. Especially a child.

Carlie - posted on 09/29/2011

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You smoke? Your daycare children's mother smokes? And your son has asthma? There's your answer. Your son. That poor child. Smoking will always be something people do, because they WANT to. Addiction my azztec warrior.....If people WANTED to stop, they would. It's called having NO SELF-CONTROL. That's all it is. Period. Having mentioned that......no one seems to be putting your children FIRST. You ask about smoking indoors. Are you serious? Your child has asthma. And the daycare's childrens' mother smokes too? And is allowed to? Oh my goodness. I feel for your child and all the other children, because somewhere along the way, they were forgotten.

Stifler's - posted on 04/07/2011

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My house is the same as Sarah's no smoking allowed inside enforced by the tenancy agreement. I don't care if people do it outside just don't do it next to the window which is open!

[deleted account]

Honestly I never understood the difference. The smell still leangers on your clothes and breath. But I also don't get why people smoke in the first place.

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I don't smoke but anyone who comes to my home and wishes to smoke can do so outside not only do i have a 16 month old i also rent and its in my tenancy agreement that smoking should take place outside. Smoking is also not allowed in my car. either have your smoke before we start or when we get there but not during the journey

Stephanie - posted on 04/07/2011

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I personally do not smoke, I used to but quit when I got pregnant. My husband on the other hand smokes has for quite a while. Before I ended up pregnant we both smoked in the house but when I found out I quit and he moved his smoking outdoors. We have an almost 2 year old and since we had her he cut back from smoking 2-3 packs to about half, maybe one depending on his day at work. I hate when he lights up in the truck, It drives me insane! I can't handle the smell of ciggarettes since im pregnant with number 2 and I tell him that all the time but when we make the 6 hour drive home for a weekend the less time we are in the truck the less grumpy our 2 year old is the rest of the day! and the less pain my back and butt and legs are. He smokes maybe 3 ciggs on the drive which is way better than what it used to be! I'm honestly just glad that he is cutting back! if he cant quit completely then I'm okay with that!

Stephanie - posted on 04/07/2011

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I personally do not smoke, I used to but quit when I got pregnant. My husband on the other hand smokes has for quite a while. Before I ended up pregnant we both smoked in the house but when I found out I quit and he moved his smoking outdoors. We have an almost 2 year old and since we had her he cut back from smoking 2-3 packs to about half, maybe one depending on his day at work. I hate when he lights up in the truck, It drives me insane! I can't handle the smell of ciggarettes since im pregnant with number 2 and I tell him that all the time but when we make the 6 hour drive home for a weekend the less time we are in the truck the less grumpy our 2 year old is the rest of the day! and the less pain my back and butt and legs are. He smokes maybe 3 ciggs on the drive which is way better than what it used to be! I'm honestly just glad that he is cutting back! if he cant quit completely then I'm okay with that!

Kendra - posted on 04/02/2011

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My mom and stepdad would smoke in the car with me and my 5 siblings. If it was raining up went the windows cigs still lit. ICK! I can't stand smoke now. Now that I'm a mom I think to myself how on earth did my mom do that to us!! One good thing came of it.... I have never and will never smoke! My bf smokes every once in a great while and he goes outside and comes right back in to brush his teeth.

Melissa - posted on 11/12/2010

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I will state that my self and my son both have severe asthma and my son is really bad. I had to research his daycare workers and inform them that for his health reasons he can not be around smoke and they said that neither of them smoke and that wouldn't be a problem. I did have him around one of my friends that smokes and she never smoked in direct contact with him around but did one day see him have an asthma attack and it was because it was the smell on her clothes that set it off. We have since had the doctor test the severeness of his asthma and found out that the smoke smell is bad enough to put him in an attack. I have had to explain this to my good friend and she knows that when we hang out that she can't even wear cloths that have been exposed. I honestly think it is the right of the person to smoke in their home and cars if they want but when you have someone with a illness that is this severe you have to make sure that the people he is around will not harm him

Kashawn - posted on 11/12/2010

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It's best to smoke outside but of course it would be even better if you didn't do it at all. I'm not trying to judge only attempt to educate as I am not sure if you are aware of third-hand smoke? That's when the tar and nicotine and other chemicals from the cigarettes cling to your clothes or hands. It is also something to take into consideration since you are around children all day especially one with breathing issues. I hope things work out for you!

Andrea - posted on 11/12/2010

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I don't want this to come off the wrong way. I hope I am saying something obvious. You said that " I respect my home and don't like the smell of smoke lingering inside." I have to ask, do you respect your home more than yourself? I would hope, and expect the answer to be no, but think about it. You say you respect your home and don't like the lingering smell, please dear, respect your body too. I am sure you, and all the others who smoke, fully know the unavoidable dangers of smoking and how bad it is for you. That lingering smell that you don't want in your house, lingers all over you and follows you right in. Both of my parents smoked, only outside, and I had asthma, and the smoking did play a part in the serverity of my asthma. Of course if it would help your children, I know you would quit smoking - but help yourself also. Quit smoking. It would not only help you be healthier, your children to be healthier, it would allow you to, more than likely, to live longer. I'm sure your kids would hate to see you get really sick (cancer and all the other horrible things smoking does to someone) and have to watch you suffer and possibly die. Your kids want you to live as long as possible! They will always need you, so be there as long as you can.

Eileena - posted on 11/12/2010

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I don't smoke. I quit along time ago but I don't allow my son(2 years old) in a smoking house or car. I actually got into a fight with my landlord over this because he rented the upper apartment to smokers and I found after living here for about a month I started smelling smoke in the house. I called him up and told him it's us or them. I didn't end up moving so...you know who he chose. My father smokes and he only smokes outside. Not in the car or house. My mother also does daycare out of her home and doesn't want smoke in the house. If he wants to poison himself that's his choice. Smoking in the house with kids is BAD but smoking in the car with kids....that's SO VERY BAD...way worse. I'm an exsmoker and this is what I think. Hope this helps.

Jessica - posted on 11/12/2010

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i have two boys 6 and 7 and my husband smokes. he does not smoke in my home nor does anyone who comes over that smokes. i am an ex smoker nad never smoked inside. i prefer to have a home that is smoke free. i too care for children in my home and want to give them all a healthy environment to thrive in. i agree with your choice, but acknowledge people who choose to smoke in their home is their right and fine with me as well. its just not the way i would go.

Merry - posted on 11/12/2010

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I think that it's kind of mean to kill your childrens parents. You know, cigarettes WILL shorten your life, so won't your kids be thinking at your funeral, if she loved me more she would have quit so she could have lived longer.
Or he, dads are the same.
You wouldn't tolerate someone to be slowly poisoning yourself to death, why is is ok to do it yourself?
Your kids deserve to have a mom and a dad and not to be orphaned by cigarettes.
I mean even if you die at 60 your quality of life will be so less then it could be if you had quit and your kids will only suffer the feelings of you loving cigarettes more then them.

Kiera - posted on 11/12/2010

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should have said before omg dont know how u handle 4 kids i have trouble with 2. no wounder u need a cigi break

Kiera - posted on 11/12/2010

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i love having a drink and a couple of smokes after my kids are aseelp. i will never smoke infront of my kids i will never smoke inside any house or car. i think if i want to wreck my lungs thats fine but children have the right to fresh air. with the rate of allergies and asthma on the rise we should not be adding to it. and if u are a full time smoker, i dont know if u relise if u have a smoke then hop into the car, the stench is shocking i hate it when my mother walks to my car smoking and puts it out as she hops in the whole car is full of smoke (not saying thats what u do) buts its gross and because she is a full time smoker she does not realise how bad it is for my kids. again not saying this applies to u but if u smoke where u hang ur clothes it stinks up the clothes, might not help any asthmatics, i found this affected my eldest daughter as i used to smoke in our bbq area where i hang our clothes. And if i can have a bitch about all the people who stand and smoke at the enterances of buildings u are disgusting. i had my 2 1/2 yr old at the hospital on the weekend diognised with a chest infection walked out into a cloud of smoke. two men (one on a drip) standing nxt to a no smoking sign. it was terrible

Stevie - posted on 11/12/2010

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When you smoke, the smoke doesn't dissipate magically because you are removed from a closed environment, its in your hair, your clothes, on your skin... This continual exposure of 2nd hand smoke is always there regardless of the "smell" in the house. I guess the positive is that you do try to limit such a direct exposure its still not good enough. My son has reactive airways, hugging a relative that smokes causes a reaction in his asthma, it was far worse when he was younger.

It is your life, but its also the lives of your children and potential clients.

Erana - posted on 11/11/2010

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I love this there are people who make the right decisions for their children.

Lauren - posted on 11/11/2010

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i dont smoke but my partner does, we have 2 children and he makes a point of not smoking around the children, at home he will go outside or at night when the kids have gone down he will smoke inside and i just put some incents on or windows for a while...
In the car he smokes and has his window down completely, we live abroad in spain so being cold isnt an issue for us.

Candace - posted on 11/11/2010

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I'm not a smoker but used to be. Smoking should never occur in the same house as the children, nevermind the same room. We also have the issue with a grandfather figure smoking and can't really take our girls to visit because they live in a very small space.
Also, just keep in mind something called "third hand smoke". I'm not sure what the studies say but apparently this is a relatively new thing where people (not just children) can be affected even by the smoke on your clothes, etc. So keep that in mind when you're having a quick smoke then getting the kids out of the car.

Laura - posted on 11/11/2010

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my boyfriend smokes but i dont and he always smokes outside and he only smokes in the car when our son is not in there

Sarah - posted on 11/11/2010

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I think this is of course a very contraversial topic, i run a night club and am very weak and therefore smoke whilst at work due to the stmosphere and the fact i used to smoke before being pregnant, the nicotine addiction is gone within a few weeks of quitting but the habit of when i traditionally have a cigarette is unfortunetly a hard habit to break.
I rarely smoke at home and its always in the garden, i occassionally will have a cig in the car but not when the baby is in there, we always used to smoke in our house and around my husbands children as when i met my husband thats what he did, but when we moved into a nice home we agreed not to smoke in here and never have.
I think ppl judge way too quickly and yes making a child breathe in ur smoke is selfish but if ur taking all the precautions u can to avoid this and you're not gna quit smoking then dont beat yourself up, lots of ppl drink and thats not good for you either.
Sounds like you're doing everything you can xx xx

Merry - posted on 11/11/2010

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Interesting how many kids of smokers here have asthma, regardless of wether mom or dad smokes inside or outside................ Coincedence, or not?

Chassidy - posted on 11/10/2010

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wow. thats really all i have to say about the replies. You people are so judgemental. GOD DONT LIKE UGLY. I grew up in a home of smokers, and well lets just state the obvious, IM STILL ALIVE. I dont think you need any advice you are doing just fine on your own. I too am a young mother of three and well lets just say although i dont like to smoke and i know its nasty i still do it. its the habit that is so hard to break. I do not allow smoking in my home and i always wash my hands afterwards. I know for some that is not good enough. but kids will be kids and they will get sick from something. i have been lucky with mine none of them have been sick due to the smoking. but i see nothing wrong with what you are doing. and maybe if a couple of the people who posted replies would have a cig. every now and then they wouldnt be so uptight.

Larissa - posted on 11/10/2010

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my partner smokes and i never have, during my pregnancy my partner nor his parents or friends smoked near me when they were visiting (my partners desicion). Our house is a smoke free zone as is our car and with my son he is also kept away from ppl smoking as he also has athsma... i think smoking is a discusting habit and it should be kept outside away from ppl who dont smoke and also young kids (just my opinion) =)

Nikkole - posted on 11/10/2010

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I HATE SMOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! im allergic to it and me eyes swell and not to mention its just plain gross and it will eventually kill you!!! i wouldn't let my kids be watched by someone who smokes no offense but its still on ur clothes and in your hair!!

Amanda - posted on 11/10/2010

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I do not smoke, I think one of the most disgusting things to see is a pregnant woman smoking or someone smoking with kids around them. It is so unbelievably selfish!!!
I avoid people smoking in public and if I did know anyone who smoked they would not be touching my child.

Missfliss - posted on 11/10/2010

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wow.. you give life with one hand and then take it away with the other, slowly killing the whole family because youre too lazy to kick a bad habit. SMOKING KILLS!!! just because you have a quick ciggie outside doesnt mean that the toxins won't cling to your clothes when you come back indoors and will be on your breath when you play with your children. smoking is fair enough when you only have yourself to think about but youre now responsible for 4 other lives. just quit.

Jamie - posted on 11/10/2010

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Well I don't smoke, and I think it is best not to be smoking around your children or anywhere they will be staying at.

Trish - posted on 11/10/2010

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I smoke outside never in my home and never in my car with my son in it...I try to keep out of sight from him when i smoke as well

Jennifer - posted on 11/10/2010

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I don't smoke but my husband does. OUTSIDE ONLY. he smokes in his car too but we almost never ride in his car. always mine...I have been trying to get him to quit for about 7 years and it only worked for a short time. He said he would quit when our daughter was born( almost 10 months ago) but of course he didn't. I tell him even when he smokes outside it is still in his clothes and our daughter can still breath it in. oh and his doc. said the same thing and told him he needs to stop. He wont listen to anyone though. His dad is also a chain smoker and we don't stay in his house for long.

Ashley - posted on 11/10/2010

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When me & my bf got our first house we always said we wanted it to be no smoking in there, but we ended up smoking inside anyways. When I became pregnant there was no more smoking in the house and hasn't since then, my son is 22 months old. We have now moved into another house and do not smoke in there. In winter time we bundle up when we want to smoke because we choose to go outside & smoke! I also do not smoke in my car. I don't wanna keep my son in an enclosed area filled with second hand smoke...I will wait until we get to our destination to smoke. My mom, her boyfriend, and my brother all smoke inside her house. When my son is over there they refrain from smoking in the house, sometimes smoke in my brothers room which is at the far end of the house (of which I still do not like!) If I am at my moms house, I still smoke outside (even if my son is not over there!). I just do not like smoking inside, I feel icky & feel like I smell like rolled around in an ash tray because of the smoke sticking to me...the odor is not as bad if you're in an open area, to me at least! Haha. Just my look on this! :)

Chelsie - posted on 11/10/2010

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I don't think that it is right to smoke in the house or in the car where you children are! Second hand smoke it some bad for them and when some smokes in the car the children have no where to go to get away from the smoke! hope that helps

Laurie - posted on 11/10/2010

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my husband and i both smoke we don't smoke inside at all and definetely not in the car even if the kids aren't in there as it's too confined and it's actually illegal now which i think is great i make an effort not to smoke around my kids so it annoys me when other people do as it's really inconsiderate.I don't smoke around kids at all if i choose to smoke thats my decision but to smoke around children in my opinion ur forcing them to smoke too.

Nicole - posted on 11/10/2010

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in south australia it is illegal to smoke in the car with children in it. my partner smokes outside, i dont like people smoking around my son

Natasha - posted on 11/09/2010

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I don't smoke, and it kinda angers me to see people smoke around little ones or in houses or vehicles where little ones are or will be. I'm the oldest of 5 children, am the only one my dad smoked around, and the only one who ended up having breathing problems. As long as the smoking is kept outside of homes and vehicles and away from children, I don't have a problem with it. It's a personal choice. I do, however, have a problem when it's done around children.

Stephanie - posted on 11/09/2010

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Hi! I also smoke but am hoping to quit soon. My daughter is 3 so she is starting to notice that I go outside, which I do. I always go outside and never in the car. But we all need to remember that even though we don't smoke around the children they are still exposed to the toxins because it stays on our clothes/hands etc. This is a part that bothers me. Even though the mother of the kid(s) you are watching smoke I would recommand doing it while they are in your care. If you can I would try to cut back at least while they are at your house. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I agree about not liking the smell linger in the house. We used to smoke before we had our daughter but now it is outside only! Hope this is helpful.

Tiffany - posted on 11/08/2010

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I don't smoke. I think it's horrible for parents to smoke in front of their children and it's just plain selfish IMO. I think if you're a parent, you need to step up and quit for the sake of your children. Also, and no offense intended, I would never let my child go to a daycare when the provider smokes whether inside or outside. The smell stays on you no matter if you wash your hair. It's on your clothes, in your hair and on your breath. My Mom smokes, and she is not allowed to even smoke on my property. If she wants to visit, she knows she has to bring a different shirt or just do not smoke until after our visit. I'm very picky about that. If she has been smoking and reeks of cigarettes, she isn't allowed to hold my daughter. It may sound mean, but I will not have my daughter smelling like an ashtray. There is nothing more frustrating as a non-smoke then feeling like I have to cater to their needs. I get so mad at stores too when I have to walk in the entrance and there are people standing right by the entrance smoking, blowing smoke towards me and my daughter. I always have to run past real quick. It shouldn't be allowed near the entrance of businesses IMO. Sorry if my reply comes off as rude, but it's how I feel.

Patrish - posted on 11/08/2010

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Same here. Im a nanny and 3 out of the 5 families i have worked for have smoked. I have tried repeatedly to get them to quit to benefit their children but unfortunately it didn't work out to well

Patrish - posted on 11/08/2010

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I think you should smoke outside especially with children in the home. it is actually illegal to smoke in a vehicle with children under 18. and god bless you! thats a lot of kids! lol

Tiffany - posted on 11/08/2010

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I grew up in a household where my parents smoked in the car/ house ALL the time. I would go to school smelling like an ash tray. It is nasty. It lingers in your carpet, furniture, walls etc. I didn't notice how the house smelled back then, but now that I don't live there I notice how nasty it smells when I walk in. I do not smoke and I make sure that everyone smoking does so at least 10 feet away from my son. I personally hate the thought of anyone smoking in an enclosed area.

Raquel - posted on 11/08/2010

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Well I know for a fact that smoke stays on your clothes. But it also lingers on your hands and hair. I would say smoke outside and change your clothes after. But the smoke will still linger on your body. And if you smoke in the house, it gets on everything!!!! It might not seem like it but it does. Walls, furniture, clean clothes, carpet. So I would keep it outside especially if your kid has asthma.

Kerrie - posted on 11/08/2010

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i dont smoke anywhere near my baby and i never will. i dont want her exposed to my dirty habbit

Andrea - posted on 11/08/2010

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Well I am a smoker as well and follow the rule that I do not smoke in my car if my child is in my car and I do not smoke inside when she is there, however I am aware that some studies say that the smoke can linger on your clothing and still be harmful to your children so I try to smoke after she is in bed for the night or only when I'm at work and in my car after I drop her off at the sitter.

Micky - posted on 11/08/2010

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I really have a big problem with people smoking anywhere near my son, let alone in the same home. I know that where I live, it is very illegal to smoke in your vehicle with a child that is younger than 16. I used to smoke, and I used to smoke a lot, I quit for my son and it's just something I feel very strongly about. I think it is unfair to put any child at the disadvantage of smoking in a home or car that they are in. Besides, it makes you and your clothes really smelly, it's unattractive when no matter how clean your clothes are, they still smell like smoke. At least if you smoke outside not everything reeks.

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