What in the world is with all the mothers who have

Samantha - posted on 09/29/2011 ( 91 moms have responded )

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So I have always wondered, what does a mother do/refrain from doing, to create a child who won't eat what you put in front of them. "My daughter won't eat meat" for example. If you and your "partner" eat chicken like there's no tomorrow, or beef, or even turkey....why would they not eat it? I remember a phase when my boys tried the "I don't want that!!"...I ignored it, or told them "That's too bad, eat it or you'll be hungry." ...they'd take a few minutes to think, and by the time I was clearing the table, the plate was empty. Too harsh? I don't think I was. Now anything I cook, they eat with no problem. I've seen mom's post "If she/he doesn't like it, I cook something else." ARE YOU NUTS?!...I think that's insane. You're the mom. YOU cooked it, THEY need to eat it....put your foot down. It's like a battle that THEY win. We can't have kids winning battles that young...God knows what that creates later. So any feedback? lol... I'm curious if I'm the ONLY mom who feels like this or has thought about it.







Edit: I'm NOT saying all children are the same, I'm also not saying you should force feed your child. It's assumed you're serving your child something nutritious, and something that they can at least digest without setting their mouth's on fire. (spicy foods..) This is just MY opinion, and it's not for everyone. Each mother is different too. I had two mothers in mind when I posted it, and they have more problems than just food issues.

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Firebird - posted on 09/29/2011

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You obviously haven't thought about this from any angle but your own. You really can't assume that all kids in the world are going to be just like yours. Many kids really won't eat anything except a few select foods, even if it mean starving. These kids often have sensory disorders. Certain textures, tastes and smells make them nauseous. My daughter's a very picky eater, there are some things she just won't eat, no matter how many times she sees me eating these things. Tomatoes for example, only once was I able to get her to taste a fresh tomato, after years of refusing. She threw up.

My neighbour's kid rarely eats anything except chicken, cucumbers and pb&j sandwiches. When you see your child start to lose noticeable amounts of weight, you feed them anything they will eat!

I'm fortunate that my daughter has finally started to expand her horizon but there were plenty of nights when she didn't eat much because she didn't like what I made for supper. I was at least smart enough to make sure there was at least one thing on her plate that I knew she would eat.

There were several times when I went to bed hungry as a child because I don't eat fish or chinese food, and that's what was for supper. The smell of both make me want to throw up. My mom would regularly cook or order food that she knew I would rather starve than eat. That's what I call insane.

Christie - posted on 09/30/2011

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Even kids have likes and dislikes. I have a 2yo and 4yo and they are healthy eaters, love fruits and veggies, but not all the same things. Like my 4yo hates hot dogs, the rest of us like them so when we have them, I am more than happy to make him a sandwich. Why would I make something I KNOW he doesn't like and tell him he's going to starve? Even as an adult there's things I won't eat. Just bc they're kids doesn't invalidate their likes and dislikes. And it doesn't make me a bad mom or him a spoiled brat, it means I respect him as a person. With that being said, if it's something I know they do like and are refusing, then they can go hungry. And of course there's times when me and my husband want stuff that's spicy or something that I would never expect my kids to eat just bc I am.

Jodi - posted on 09/30/2011

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OK, I am going to say that everyone has different tastes. Samantha, do you eat every food available out there in the world? Or are there things you don't particularly like? Of course there are! Well, guess what, kids don't like everything either.



I actually don't have super fussy kids, they are really good eaters. But there are things they don't like, and although over the years I have made them try things (they are not allowed to say they don't like something unless they have tried it several times), if there are some foods they simply don't like, I have accepted that this is the case and I don't force it.



This isn't about winning or losing. How would you feel if you don't like oysters and someone forced you to sit and eat a bowlful of them?



I agree that we shouldn't allow our kids to be too fussy, but we should also be respectful of their tastes. Would you put chilli flakes in every meal because you like it? Of course not, you are respectful to the fact that there is a big possibility your children will not be partial to it.

[deleted account]

"They're typically the same kids you see in the stores throwing tantrums.."

soooo...you've got kids and you want to sit here and act like yours have never thrown a tantrum in public? Your posts are very judgemental. My toddler has thrown tantrums because that's normal. I handle it calmly and we move on. Implying that every tantrum throwing kid has a doormat of a mother is quite a stretch. You don't know their situation. That mother knows which battles to pick with her own child. When I see a kid throwing a tantrum I feel sympathy for that parent because I've been there.

Stifler's - posted on 10/04/2011

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And I don't make my kid anything else, he just doesn't eat dinner and goes to bed. I've always offered him the same food as we eat and he pushes it away.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Crysta - posted on 10/31/2011

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Tiffany, my son does not eat beef either. Even when I was pregnant, ALL beef made me throw up, so I am ok with him not liking it now since he has never liked it at all, lol. He will eat chicken depending on how it is made, he loves fruits and veggies of all kinds, he actually gets upset if he does not get an apple or banana during lunch time, lol.

Tiffany - posted on 10/31/2011

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ouch. since i went through that phase with my daughter for almost 6 months you make me sound like a bad mother. i couldnt get her to eat anything no matter what i tried! no one could! we all eat healthy at our house and she just didnt want anything... i would put it in front of her and she wouldnt eat it. i cried almost every night because she refused to eat. It took me a long time to accept that i was not being a bad mother, because i was giving her plenty of choices of food to eat. now she eats most of what we eat... she doesnt like beef even though we eat it... we have had her try it, she just doesnt like it, and i am NOT going to force her to eat something she doesnt like. she's healthy and happy... really thats all that matters.

Crysta - posted on 10/31/2011

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The way I grew up was you can't just decide you don't want to eat something especially if you have never tried it. My husband's little cousin is 7 and he will just look at something and decide he doesn't want it, he will eat mac and cheese and mc donalds, but I think that's about it. It drives me crazy that his parents don't make him eat more, and they allow him to just pick and choose what he wants, he is perfectly fine with starving himself so he will not have to eat certain foods because they have allowed it to go on for so long. My son is only 18 months old, and he has his days where he doesn't want certain things and I am ok with that because the majority of food that is put on his plate, he eats without any complaints at all.

Sarah - posted on 10/30/2011

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I fully agree with you i do the same thing with my kids!.. to many kids are winning battles and taking control we are supposed to be teaching them not the other way around and it teaches them we mean it!... my sister is the same way although shes allitle more harsh than me in other areas....!:) totally agree!!!.

Eschelle - posted on 10/30/2011

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my sons are so picky it is a constant battle to get them to eat, drives me nuts.

Emily - posted on 10/30/2011

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I don't mind when my son eats off my plate. There are a lot of times when he won't eat what I give him or off my plate. If I make him something else, he will just spit it out or throw it on the floor.

[deleted account]

Emily, mom and/or dad's food ALWAYS tastes better at that age. All 3 of my kids went through that phase. They eventually get over it. I just let them eat off my plate cuz it never bothered me any. They didn't do it forever. ;)

Emily - posted on 10/29/2011

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I agree with you! My parents were the same way when I was little..either i eat what is cooked, or I go to bed hungry. However, I have some questions..my son is 15 months old and isn't really a picky eater. He will usually eat what he wants off his plate then come to eat off my plate. My questions are, what should I do if he won't eat anything off his plate? Should I make him something different or just put him to bed hungry? I know he doesn't understand "Eat or go to bed hungry."

Eschelle - posted on 10/28/2011

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my father in law used to talk about how his mother would feed him the food he didn't eat the night before for breakfast. He apparently learned really fast that eating dinner when it was served was the lesser of two evils.

Jennifer - posted on 10/27/2011

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my two year old will some times not eat her dinner and will go to bed with out eating. I know I am not starving her... she will eat when she gets hungry enough.

Synquis - posted on 10/26/2011

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I agree with you. It's the parents house and kids shouldn't get to pick was cooked. Unless it's like a take out night. we do that once a month.

Danielle - posted on 10/25/2011

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I feel this way. My brothers rarely eat what is made for them and it ticks me off. Also veges make them "sick" (they pruposely gag) so they aren't made to eat them. It doesn't help that my dad really doesn't like to cook so they get fast food all the time.
My son eats what I give him or he doesn't eat. I am always careful to make it nutricious AND delicious. Some times if I can tell he's not eating just becuase he's not hungry, I will put it in the fridge for later, but if it's just because he doesn't like it, tough.
What really irritates me is when my family members act like I'm a terrible mother because I tell him to eat his green beans, peas, whatever and that I don't make him a special meal if he doesn't like what I/they make.

*Note: obviously if the food is too spicey I will make him something else or separate his before adding the spices if I can*

Cheryl - posted on 10/25/2011

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most mums might think this is mean but i just leave tell them they cant move til they eat it all it works for me so gets dont winge what they get they just eat it even if they dont like it

Wendy - posted on 10/25/2011

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It is a phase almost all toddlers go through, I give my toddler what WILL eat so he isnt lacking in the vitamins and nutrients he needs, because eventually most kids grow out of this phase and eat what you cook. The point is to make sure they eat Something and dont get underweight.

Kelly - posted on 10/22/2011

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My son eats most things, and will happily eat all the fruit and vegies I give him. He doesn't eat a whole lot of meat, he just doesn't seemm to like it. That being said, he'll eat tuna and egga and all sorts at daycare, that if I tried to feed him he'd just laugh at me. He quite happily eats most things, as long as everyone else is eating it. but for me? nope. I think that as long as while they're young, you keep trying things, and try them over and over, you dont have as much of a problem with fussy.

Andrea - posted on 10/22/2011

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I agree with samantha. I do the same. I just end up with the problem or my five year old taking hours to eat everything if not anything. When I was growing up we had to eat everything even if it took forever and if we didn't then we had it the next day. I don't know what else to do without having her "win her battles with eating." Some nights are good and she finishes with everyone else but others I just don't know what is going on.

Angie - posted on 10/21/2011

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First off, I agree with the writer of the comment. Our kids are expected to try something new, if they don't like it, they don't have to eat it BUT I only make one meal per setting so if you don't like anything I've prepared then you need to wait until the next meal.
About a year ago we went through a pretty horrible ordeal surrounding our son. He vomited at EVERY meal for about three weeks. He lost a boat load of weight and it was pretty scary. At the age of 9, we knew there was a scary possibility for him to have an eating disorder.
Anyway, we took him to the doc, had a ton of tests done to ensure he was ok and also had him talk to a Councillor. The tests came back without any indication that there was a problem and 2 Councillors and a pediatrician said he was fine emotionally.
After all the tests were done and we found out that nothing was 'wrong' with him, we treated it as a behaviour. He had a puke bucket that was with him at every meal, he also wore a poncho so not to get it all over his clothes and he had to clean up the mess that happened. It may sound harsh but we really didn't know how else to treat it. Once he was able to consecutively eat all his meals without vomiting, the items were removed from the equation. He is now SUPER healthy and eats me out of house and home. :) Through it all we found out he had a texture issue(mushrooms, bananas and yogurt) but also that he was going through a HUGE body change. He grew quite a few inches, and dropped a ton of 'baby fat'.
I don't feel guilty for the measures we took as we didn't know the changes he was going through; however, if I could turn back time with the above knowledge of what we were dealing with I certainly wouldn't have treated it the way I did. So, all in all, I hope this might give a different insight to something else a child is going through. :)

Nikki - posted on 10/21/2011

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My first had a milk allergy and couldn't eat anything we were eating and I always had to make him special meals, at about 2.5 he grew out of it but now doesn't like alot of foods or textures cause he isn't used to them. He eats a different variation of whatever food we are eating but if he doesn't eat a meal I know he likes the too bad. I also have been offering him new foods and he doesn't get dessert until he ries the new food. My youngest eats everything so I don't think he will be a problem..he prefers peas over anything on his plate.

When I was younger I ate just about everything but I got really sick and lost way to much wieght and my mom started feeding me whatever I wanted to put the weight back on and after a few months of this I became super fussy.....she didn't know that was gonna happen and I think it's really all trial and error and we are all doing the best we can. I eat fine now and grew out of it and I am healthy so I think ur just lucky you didn't have to deal with any eating problems or allergies :)

Cristal - posted on 10/21/2011

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I have two daughters and they both eat anything I cook but my oldest daughter like any other kid she just would not eat vegetables or tomatoes. So I asked her one day how come she can love ketshup with everything but will not eat a tomatoe? I said ketchup is made from tomatoes, she was so shocked but still said she likes ketchup anyways. So I then asked her why she doesn't like vegetables she didn't know so I then decided to use to a method that worked and involved her last name. I first reminded of what her last name was and she replied "Rabbit" and I asked her what was the one food a rabbit will eat. She said a carrot. So somehow that triggered "hey Im a rabbit too so I must like carrots too" Lol it was the greatest trick ever. So now to this day she will eat almost every vegetable I prepare for her. It stuck with her too seeing the commercials about people in restaurants who would eat all their food but the vegetables and the waiters wouldnt smack them on the forehead. So now from such inspirational commercials who should be smacking people on the foreheads when they don't finish their vegetables.... Yup my wonderful daughter.

Ashley - posted on 10/20/2011

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Wow....ummm...you do have to realize that not all kids will eat what the parents eat. If someone made you something you didn't like or didn't want to eat, would you want to be forced??? No, you wouldn't.

Tara - posted on 10/20/2011

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We have a rule in our house, kids must try it before saying they don't like it. If they truly do not like it then that is ok, I would never force them to eat it. Now if it is something they have had many times before and all of a sudden they 'don't like it' then too bad, not a restaurant! I would never make something knowing they don't like it and expect them to eat it, that is horrible. I remember when I was little being forced to eat cooked spinich and it was disgusting and to this day I can't stand the smell of it!! I think it just depends on the child and the situation. If a child is just being stubborn then too bad. Sometimes my son, who is 3, refuses to eat (and it's what he normally likes) then I excuse him from the table and tell him he can't sit here then unless he wants to eat as well. This works well for us, reverse psychology! and of course I don't allow 'treats' if he doesn't want to eat his supper.

K - posted on 10/19/2011

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My son has always eaten whatever i put on his plate.He is a good boy but in saying that,he was an only child for 10 years and i was a single mother so i had lots and lots of time to devote to him...and only him,even now that i have a baby and am married he is still easy going and never fusses over food. My sister has had constant food problems with her 2 boys. The oldest is now almost 8 and has only just started eating vegetables,he would gag and carry on whenever she tried to get him to eat and flat out refuse. He would fall asleep at the table rather than eat. She gives him honey sandwiches rather than expect him to eat REAL food,she is way too soft on him but in my opinion he is her "favourite" and is never in trouble where the younger boy is always to blame for everything. I think she is ridiculous and is setting herself up for big problems. eg..if they are having taco's,the boy will get the taco shell filled with cheese and tomato sauce..thats it !!! ...he will not eat any food unless it is in a taco shell or unless it is plain pasta..i can't imagine doing that for 8 years,i'd go crazy but food is not the only problem in that family. She doesn't make him do homework(cause he is too good for that) . He won't clean his room,if he doesn't want to brush his teeth she doesn't make him,he yells and screams at his parents,tells them to shut up and to "talk to the hand"he also kicks and hits them and they put up with it. The dad doesn't like it but he has learned to accept it because my sister is so argumentative and stuck in her ways that he refuses to fight with her anymore. Its disgusting

Melissa - posted on 10/18/2011

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I had the same mind set as you, even with a picky husband, my daughter will eat everything and I attributed that to letting her taste everything as a baby. Then my son comes along and he is very resistant to anything new and certain textures. I went through the same process of letting him taste but he is just different. He is only 13 mths and my daughter is 3 yrs old. I'm not going to be making special meals, I told my husband that when we were dating and I found out about all the stuff he dislikes. I don't feel that it is my fault having a picky baby, but I'm doing what I can to break him out of it and in the mean time supplement his diet as needed. Apparently he is still too young to understand the "you eat what I cook or nothing" strategy anyways.

Jennifer - posted on 10/18/2011

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I completely agree with you! My mom was like that, if I didn't like what she fixed I didn't eat! And that's how I am with my daughter.

JoAnn - posted on 10/18/2011

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I agree that is how I was raised and while I may not like all foods i do believe you should try everything at least once. I have always told my kids I am not a waitress so I wont be taking orders . I had my husbands ex try and tell me that their sons doctor told her if he wont eat a balanced diet like um vegi's or meat UGH then give him pediesure and and crackers I was blown away , sorry not gonna happen at my house nothing can replace a balanced diet .

Deena - posted on 10/17/2011

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Im in agreeance with you on that i have the same theory for my own children, unfortunatly my boyfriends mother didnt react like that and now i have more problems getting him to eat then i do my 3 kids. he was raised that if he didnt like or want to try what his mom has made for dinner she would make him something else. it drives me crazy when parents do that cause then you end up with an adult who will refuse to try somthing new. fortunatly in my case he is slowly learning to try new foods and learning that he can like other stuff but really it took me almost 3 years of persistance to get him to that point. Parent please dont make your picky eater into a picky adult eater its harder for an adult to change their ways then it is for a child.

Kristel - posted on 10/15/2011

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I agree with your post. And if mine doesn't eat hers she gets it the next time she is hungry or at the next meal whichever comes first. She eats whatever she gets now unless she is sick. But I can tell you this, my child LOVES home made food and does not like fast food. One night she requested a whole bowl of homemade green beans and seconds, and ate it all, She likes broccoli, asparagus and other vegetables, and especially loves her chicken. She also likes spicy food but if it's too spicy we don't give it to her. The only real issue I have is getting her to eat fast food when we are on trips, so whatever I order I try my best to make it as healthy as possible and also pack lots of snacks or a sandwich. I do know that some kids will not eat certain things because kids know that when they eat a certain food it doesn't make them feel good, like kids with allergies...

Brittany - posted on 10/14/2011

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I am the same way. If you don't eat what I make then you can go to bed hungry. I'm not a short order cook, and kids will eat when they are hungry regardless if they "like" it or "don't like" it

Amy - posted on 10/14/2011

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I went through that with both my kids and to a point, still do to this day. Grandma would make a different meal for everyone? Me? Ramen was for lunch. They like Ramen. They asked for Ramen. I fixed Ramen. They can eat Ramen. I gave them 20 minutes and set a timer, if they didn't finish they could eat it next meal or snack til it was gone. She thought I was awful for it. Other things though, I cannot get them to eat. They will not eat soup among other things. Either one of them. I've fought their entire lives. I talked to the doctor. He monitored while I did the eat it or nothing thing and eventually told me we had to stop & start figuring out why they wouldn't eat certain things. Now, I know my son has high functioning autism and both have sensory processing/integration disorder... so its a valid thing and based off how their bodies are processing certain textures. What bites is when they can't eat something they normally love because they're old enough now they know the difference and it genuinely bothers them too. So, sometimes for kids... its a real concern. In my experience though... there are a lot of problematic children running around because they have parents that will do whatever is necessary to make the whole parenting gig "easier" and don't realize they're making everything harder on everyone.

Samantha - posted on 10/14/2011

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, she gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Kirsten! That is EXACTLY what I was talking about.

Liz - posted on 10/14/2011

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It's funny, my daughter (who is now almost 4) refused all sorts of food right from the beginning, I'd try to feed her peas, she'd spit it out day after day after day! There were a few items she loved in baby food form, so I just stuck with those.

As she got older, meat became an issue with her, she has a very sensitive gag reflex for some reason and has only in the past three months or so learned how to chew through meat. I would cut it up in tiny little pieces and she would still gag on it and throw up at the kitchen table. She is a huge veggie and potato fan, so I just made sure she got her protein from somewhere else.

During that time, I was making her seperate food sometimes, I don't expect her to eat brussel sprouts when I clearly remember hating them as a child, so I'd do up some green beans or carrots for her. But as for a whole entire meal, no, I never did that.

Now things have changed, now she will eat almost any meat and potato put before her (it used to be only roasted potatoes she would eat), so I just pick veggies she likes and go from there. There are a few exceptions however, if I'm running behind from a hectic day and won't have dinner for myself and the hubby done until 7:00pm, I whip up some pasta for her (its her fav). I also won't serve her spicy food.

And my magic line, now that she is old enough to understand:

"If mommy and daddy are eating it, do you think it will taste like poo-poo? I wouldn't eat it then, so just try it once" 9/10 times she likes it!

Maggie - posted on 10/13/2011

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I do that with my son, i give him what we eat if he says no I say well you'll go to bed hungry, after a few minutes he eat it up! I spend enough time in the kitchen to have to cook a special meal for him lol

Gemma - posted on 10/13/2011

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I have 3 boys one a new one to this world so no food issues with him as all is gets is liquid food lol.
My other 2 boys r like chalk n cheese thou. As toddlers they would generally eat wot i gave them but as they tend to get a bit older they develop wot they like and dislike.
So with my middle boy he has adhd and odd which is hard enough but at mealtimes its a real chore most of the time. He will not eat anythin with mushrooms, tomatoes, salad, onions, peppers and some other veg also anythin crunchy as he complains it hurts his teeth. If i place food in front of him i no he doesnt like(which iv tried before in the hope he liked it after a while of not havin...ha no luck!) I get this big huge reaction that id rather not have.... So i tend to not give him things i no he doesnt like. It often results in me makin him somethin totally different or tryin to pick certain things out of a meal. It jus seems he has the same things quite often....Im happy because he does eat and i respect that he wont like certain things jus as we all have things we dont like. but then we wudnt cook sumthin for ourselves that we dont like!
I get the boys to tell me 5 of their fav meals n make sure they can have those included in ova month then the rest is my decsion. It doesnt result in me cookin lots of processed foods i generally make good healthy family meals....Somethin nutrious and enjoyable. I do leave foods at the table sometimes other times if i feel they have done well then i jus throw woteva it is they have left or i do a deal with them if they can eat x amount more fork fulls il let them leave this little bit! At times i have argued n argued they must eat there tea if they want pud n biscuits before bed. I either re heat the food if its re heatable or i tell them i cant so its there choice....sometimes they finish other times they go to bed without.
All kids r different n no 2 kids will like the same....they all have likes n dislikes. If my kids dont like somethin i dont give it to them......simple!! Its easier for everyone that way :)

Amanda - posted on 10/13/2011

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I always make my kids try what I make, and then if they don't like it I will make them something else. My 6 year old son will try to tell me he doesn't like something, but then when he tries it a lot of times he does like it. If he doesn't like it though I do make him something else.

Kirsten - posted on 10/12/2011

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Samantha, perhaps you should just close this posting. I don't think many people "get it" lol

Tinker1987 - posted on 10/12/2011

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my son isnt eating alot now he is only 10 months but when he does he will eat what we eat... i sometimes already have to cook something different for my picky fiance ill be damned if i cook 3 different dinners. just not happening!

Ashley - posted on 10/12/2011

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I have a 2.5 year old who isnt really a picky eater food wise but he goes through spells where he doesnt want to eat for me for like 3 or 4 days then its like humm im hungry i want to eat everything. My parents his grandparents have tried the you will sit there until you eat thing with him and he will not do it at all and it could be his favorite food or candy or something i couldnt imagine anyone eating and he isnt touching it but that 5th day he will eat it all and then ask for more but he only does this at home. I work at a daycare so he goes to work with me and they say he always cleans his plate and most of the time ask for seconds I just dont understand it and doctors say it is normal and that he is still on the right track for weight gain (he is in the 90th % for weight and 95% for height) so maybe it is just a phase :)

Kirsten - posted on 10/12/2011

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I agree with you. My neighbor will fix 3 meals back to back for her daughter because she changes her mind that she doesn't want something she begged for 5 minutes prior. That is riduculous to me. The kid acts pretty bratty and doesn't take her mother seriously at all; she's only 5.

My stepson used to be an extremely picky eater but now he knows he needs to eat what is served, if not, he is hungry. Even at friend's houses he knows to expect to at least try what is served if he doesn't like a particular dish.

Unless there are allergies or something, I feel the reason kids get picky like that is because the parents don't put their foot down. I will never understand how some parents can give in to their kids so much and then wonder why there is no respect and they don't listen. Kids can develop good habits or bad ones, it's up to us to help them sort through which ones to keep. =)

Serafine - posted on 10/12/2011

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Mostly I agree, children need to adapt to their family's cycle. But it is also important to allow a child the oportunity to listen to their own bodies and speak their need. One meal a day, I allow my son to give me input as to what he would like to eat. Ifi it is the usual pasta with pesto or hot dogs then I know it is his tongue talking. But if it is something different, like eggs or oatmeal, then I realize it might be his body trying to tell me something. Just like our children are not clones of us, their growing bodies may require different foods than ours. It is important to allow them to learn to listen to that. I do that by telling my son what each food does for his body, what he has eaten that day and will need to eat to have a balanced diet, and ask if he feels like his body is asking that is different than his tongue. It is surprising what he comes up with sometimes, but it usually makes sense. After all, they are like us but better!

Trish - posted on 10/12/2011

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you do it for the same reason I do.... when your daughter refuses to eat the food you have made, to the point where it has been 4 days since she ate and she is passing out, you love her too much to starve her just coz she is a fussy eater... sometimes, you can be too tough....

Samantha - posted on 10/10/2011

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Right. A kid...and when the "moment" that every child has lasts long than a moment................ that's what I was talking about. The "I don't wanna, you can't make me!" that lasts long than one cranky afternoon. The mothers I had asked/ranted about in the original post are at the end of their ropes because of the way their children treat them. I was asking how it got to that point. How does it get to the point that a child doesn't have to do something the parent tells them to, simply because they don't want to. I saw it that particular day with food. On other occasions it's at their house or in stores........ at what point in raising a child does the authority get "handed over". Yes, My kids have "moments", yes, they get cranky, or genuinely don't like to eat something...but they don't cross the child-parent dividing line. I don't take orders from my kids, and they know they need to follow the rules. Maybe it is being judgmental, hooah for freedom of speech. I typed the original post, explained myself about 2 or 3 posts later...... then multiple times since then. Also since then, I've been around one of the boys. (He's almost 4 years old) So he takes it upon himself to knock his mother's plate over because she made him some spaghetti instead of ravioli. She apologizes to him and makes him his ravioli. That, is too much... and it's a similar situation to the one that "inspired me" to ask about it in the first place.

[deleted account]

A kid.





Before becoming a mom I was a teacher. I've worked with kids of all ages and family backgrounds. Even kids with the greatest parents have their moments.

Deseree - posted on 10/10/2011

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Luckily for me, I am a chef so my daughter eats anything.... Even things I don't eat, but I am learning from her and trying it all. The best rule of thumb is the spoonful. Give them a tablespoon full only. they have to eat it no ifs, ands, or buts. If they don't like it they don't like it. Don't force them to eat it but at least you know and don't have to waste your time fighting them. Make sure of course that they are getting all the nutritional value that they need, but don't get down to mac'n'cheese and hot dogs.Pick your battles early. Is it worth it?

Samantha - posted on 10/10/2011

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omg lol, This explain stuff online is NOT as easy as it seems. Yes, my children have had "tantrums"......... But my kids know not to hit me, fall out on the floor kicking and screaming, or run up and down the isles. They know better. So what would that be defined as?

Sara - posted on 10/10/2011

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u always no ifi they dont like it or just bein fussy at the end of the day it depends on what they ave bin fetched up on as a baby to i never give mine baby jars i always cooked my own an blended it up iwould never fourse tem to eat wot they dont like but you no by there body language weather they like it or just bein fussy

Sara - posted on 10/10/2011

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well my son used to be like tht would not eat but i just put my foot down an say ye will eat wot is in front of u or there is no treats e did not eat 4 2days i no it sounds cruwel but it worked now he eats anythin an its all home made he used to be fussy wid veg but not now e eats it all its just a bit of disapline thts all there was no way i was maken diff meals all the time i did it 4 a while an then i thort no its far to much hard work wen you have other children they eat wot is in front of them or there is nothing an deff no snaks inbetween meals

[deleted account]

There are plenty of foods that I don't like to eat and I wouldn't like it if someone told me, "too bad that's what you're eating." Kids are people too with thoughts, feelings, opinions. If we're having something that my daughter doesn't like as much I also make sure I cook something she does like to go along with the meal. For example, if we're eating potatoes which she's not fond of I will make a veggie that I know she really likes and will eat. Not that hard. Eating food doesn't have to be a battle...unless you make it one.

Jennifer - posted on 10/09/2011

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I live by my pediatrician's advice: Parents decide when and what a child eats and the child decides if they will eat it or not. I know my daughter is not a huge meat fan so I offer plenty of veggies, fruit, bread, etc. to go along with the meat. As she gets older (she is only 22 months old) I will implement my mom's rule which was you have to eat at least one spoonful of everything, none of us ever puked at the table and we are all very healthy eaters and will eat just about anything without complaining because that was how we were raised. I see no reason to do anything different with my daughter.

Cerise - posted on 10/07/2011

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I agree with Lauren. Kids have their own tastes. Also you can't force a child to eat. I think you have to pick your battles with children. Offer them a little of everything, and keep reintroducing new foods. Like I have a 3 bite rule. Don't tell me you don't like something until you have eaten at least 3 bites of it.

Lauren - posted on 10/06/2011

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children are like any person, they have preferences and enjoy or dislike different tastes/smells/textures/etc. My daughter won't eat chicken (i couldn't eat it when I was pregnant), even though we eat chicken just about daily. She also won't eat yogurt no matter the flavor - this i believe is a texture issue, as i can't eat yogurt because the texture wigs me out. no matter what we teach them they still have their own opinions. They prefer certain tastes, toys, people... etc!!

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