What is proper etiquette with baby showers? Only with the first child? What is second pregnancy is with twins?

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Darlene - posted on 02/20/2012

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Worry about etiquette. Everything really doesn't go these days. Whenever I see someone is having a second shower whether it be for a baby or a wedding, I always feel they are just out for gifts.

People will give you baby gifts if they want to whether or not you have a shower. I have had 5 children and one shower and each of my children received gifts from the people who really mattered in my life.

LaToya - posted on 02/21/2012

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WOW you took the question right out of my mouth! My son is 8 now and I am expecting twins in August (not sure of the sex yet) But I didn't want to be greedy and have another shower but the god mommies insist (because they think its two girls!), but either way I have absolutley NOTHING for a baby so a shower would be nice but I don't want to seem greedy! I was always told that you have a shower for the first child so I am not asking for a shower but sure would appreciate one!

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User - posted on 01/04/2013

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my daughter in-law wants to have a baby shower for her 2nd baby that is also a girl. She is telling people what to buy her on the invits. what do you do with that

Danielle - posted on 02/23/2012

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First, I think of a baby shower as showering the mother-to-be, not the baby. The baby isn't born yet, so while you are celebrating the impending birth, it's not really about the baby as much as the mother. It's to pamper the mother-to-be & help ease the burden of preparing for the baby.



Second, traditionally you only had a shower for the 1st baby. Now, however, since so many people are spreading out their children more (it's more common to have a 5 yr age difference than a 2 yr diff), it's more common for people to have a shower for every baby. Also, a lot of people like to get gender specific gear, which may not be usable for #2.



Third, there's a wide range in what people actually register for. Some people furnish the nursery themselves & register for the gear & other stuff they need. Others register for everything!! Partly depends on what your family & friends are likely to get you.



Personally, I only had a shower with my 1st. I had my 2nd 21 mos later & my 3rd 16 mos after that, then an almost 5 yr gap before #4. I bought my own double stroller & extra car seats. And family & friends gave us clothes & diapers after the babies were born. Then we had a Christening party & 1st b-day party for them where we got more stuff for them.



Now, with twins after a single, I would think that you'd have some relatives & friends who would be open to a 2nd shower, no matter what their overall view is. Obviously with twins you need some different & extra gear than you would with a single. If your family generally only has 1 shower, I'd suggest discussing the possibilty with them before just planning it on your own. You wouldn't want to cause problems with family members. But because showers are family & friend events, you need to do what is right within your family. It doesn't help to throw yourself a shower & have no one show because they are that much against having more than 1 shower.

Cheyenne - posted on 02/21/2012

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i had 2 baby showers for my first baby)1 my parents threw and the other my in laws threw) i had a boy. then when he was 14 months old i found out i was pregnant with a girl so i had another one just because i didnt have any girl clothes or anything.

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Every baby deserves to be celebrated. Typically over here the first baby is the 'girly shower' w/ all the cheesy games and stuff. All other showers are more family, potluck style. Yes, there are still gifts, but never in my life have I had a party specifically for gifts and neither do most (if not all) of the people that I know.

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/19/2012

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Yes traditionally,it was done when you were still pregnant even.but times have changed. I agree with having a baby shower for every baby. but its a personal choice, i had a baby shower thrown by my best friend. it was nice but im not the center of attention type so if i dont get another one ill be just as well.lol

Barbara - posted on 02/19/2012

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yes every baby should have a shower (or sprinkle) if it is soon after another baby and you only need the smaller things. It's a party to celebrate your new baby!

Stifler's - posted on 02/19/2012

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But traditionally only the first baby and someone else is to throw it for you.

Stifler's - posted on 02/19/2012

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I wouldn't worry about etiquette, anything goes these days. If you want to have a baby shower just do it.

Jodi - posted on 02/18/2012

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To me, a baby shower isn't so much about getting things you need for the baby, it's about celebrating the life you just created! Different people and areas find different things acceptable or not, but it's totally up to you. I had a big shower with my first born, a girl. 17 months later, I got pregnant with twin girls. I didn't need anything, I had everything a baby, and even two, could want or need. But, I had a baby shower again, and just as big. I told everyone they needn't bring a gift, we were going to be decorating onesies and creating scrapbook pages and playing some fun games.



Regardless of what I said, everyone brought a pack of diapers and/or wipes. It was a great party, I have GREAT momentos for the babies (I also had people write a note to each baby on a bottle shaped piece of colored paper!), and fond memories of having everyone around me excited for my family and the new additions to be. Plus, We bought our first pack of diapers not even a month before the twins turned a year old!



So, proper etiquette is what you make of it. Go for it if you want it, don't if you don't think it's acceptable for your area.

Brittney - posted on 02/18/2012

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Baby showers are to "shower" the new baby with things he/she may need. If you have a girl first, you have one, girl second maybe not a big one, boy third, you would have another...you can really do it how ever you like, its a celebration!

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