What is the best way to control your child when shopping?

Ryann - posted on 04/14/2010

I always bring a snack and a sippy cup. when my daughter is screaming her I either say well we'll have to try this later and just leave, or I ignore her. It really is funny watching mothers in stores yelling at their children trying to get them to stop when in reality all the child is going to do is keep screaming. They want a reaction and when they don't get one they'll stop.

Lyndsay - posted on 04/14/2010

I just tell him if he's good I'll buy him something. It doesn't have to be anything big, maybe like a chocolate bar or a dinky car. Usually I will go straight for what I'm promising him, and let him hold onto it while I'm shopping... if he's bad I take it away and put it back on the shelf. We have had our bad shopping experiences, but this usually works.

Kelli - posted on 04/14/2010

i always make sure to bring a toy or open up one and buy it later and a snack but u just have to keep her busy while ur shoping. and let her know that its not nice to yell and if she dose dont respond crazy kids like it when u respond like that so if thats how ur responding she will keep doing it. bring a book or coloring stuff or something she likes to do.

Brandee - posted on 04/14/2010

I usually bring a snack cup of cereal or goldfish and a drink for my son too.. I also have him hold my list.. I always make a list so that I can get in and get out as quick as possible.. I would suggest that you never go in without a list that you are going to stick too.. I also have him hold items for me or point and identify objects or colors.. Any game or song I can think of to keep him occupied (itsy bitsy spider and wheels on the bus are favorites).. One of the grocery stores has a kiddie sized cart.. He loves to push it and I give him things to put in his cart.. That was a wonderful idea on the stores part.. My mom want to buy Brandon a cart of his own so that we can take it with us to any shopping store.. It really held his attention and he was my little helper.. You could try taking her to the car so her fit does not disturb others, then go back in once she is calm (like a time out).. or if all else fails just be prepared to leave and try again another day.

Codi - posted on 04/13/2010

don't let it affect you. I know it's embarrassing but other parents will most likely understand. she gets attention when she does it, if you ignore the fit most likely she'll stop.

Stefanie - posted on 04/13/2010

ok if your grocery shopping i know this is weird but i go around lunch time and if your ok with them having the popcorn chicken from the deli, then give them that if not pack her a lunch and bring it with you. she will eat and keep her busy..now for dept stores i dont gotta clue yet.

Kristen - posted on 04/13/2010

i have a 2 year old son and besides the whole snack/ drink/ bathroom thing, i just talk to him and play with him. i show him the things im getting and ask him questions about them. like "who's on that" or "what color is this", things like that... he used to be horrible when i would try to shop, but since i started involving him more, hes gotten a lot better... he only fusses now when im not showing him attention or involving him...

Shannon - posted on 04/13/2010

well my son helps he pushes the cart or if sissy is in the stroller he pushes that. he helps get things of the shelf and put it in the cart i have never had a problem with him fighting me since i let him help! i injoy going to the store with him now

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2010

thank u for all the comments everyone and i am seriously going to try the snack and maybe a toy..she is also obessed with gum but i try not to get her any of that cause i heard is bad for her cause she swallows it all..now as for the leaving her behind i cant do that because i just moved to a new town & do not know any one or trust anyone for that matter.. she is getting a lil better at it i went to walmart today and she just sat where she wanted in the back of the cart as usual..and was holding some things up saying the names of the food..so thank u everyone for all the GREAT COMMENTS!!!

Darliss - posted on 04/13/2010

My daughter really enjoys helping me shop. I show her what to grab and stick in the cart. It keeps her happy and makes her feel like shes helping me. If she starts to act up she gets to sit in the cart which really upsets her because she prefers walking. Its almost like a moving time out lol. She sits in the cart until she calms down and then once she is better she can walk again. I also do that when she decides to take off in the store. She is now getting to the point where she knows she has to hold on to the cart.

Nichelle - posted on 04/13/2010

i may be a mean mom but i took advice from my mom(mother of 14).. she said that basically your child should respect you enough to not have to have a bribe in order to obey their parents...when my daughter was younger she would do the same..try crawling out of the cart or cry cause she wanted something.. i tried everything snacks drinks buying one toy if she was good... but didn't work all the time just sometimes... now i am a mother that believes in discipline and spankings.. public or not... when my daughter was about 2 i got so frustrated with the behavior but didn't want to spank her in front of on lookers so i went as if i was going to pick her up (hands under arm pits ) told her to listen and obey what i am telling her and lightly pinched her armpit....it was very hard but then again my daughter is an emotional one so for her the sheer fact of disappointment upsets her. after that day she never ever acted out again... shes 6 now and knows when in a store she must hold one hand on the cart and she is not allowed to ask for anything... i do not believe in awarding for expected behavior but i do a lot of praise for making good choice... every child is different.. my son does not respond to any of the things i did with my daughter... i just keep trying different solutions. children knwo what they can and can not get a way with in different environments... the things is you have to be consistence otherwise they'll run all over their parents.. what ever you do to stop her from throwing a fit at home is what you need to do when in public

Schollin - posted on 04/13/2010

I've done this before go to the toy department get a doll/stuffed animal and tell her she has to babysit it while you shop and then before you leave put it back(explain the doll lives here and stays and needs some one bug and smart to take care of her while your at the store and it has to be left here when you leave, before you give it to her or you'll start a collection) and the next time you go, get the same type of doll and ask her again to babysit it. She should be entertained for you to at least get most of your shopping done.I don't agree with the rewarding your child for behaving in the grocery store or Walmart every time they go its just seems like an expensive unnecessary habit.

Alma - posted on 04/13/2010

before going to any store, on the drive there talk to her, tell her that u guys are going to the store and if she is good you will get her a reward at the end of the store visit, that you'll take her to McDonalds, or to the park, or with her favorite auntie, or even buy her a toy but it has to be after. Brive her with something she really likes and she'll understand that if she is good all the time she will get a reward for doing so.

Harsha - posted on 04/13/2010

first thing always make a list before leaving ,take her to the market when she had her food and done with her sleep she will be fine dont forget tol take her favourite toys
if u have to go on odd timings still take her favorite toys with u it will help for sure

Tania - posted on 04/13/2010

hi im a mother of 7 i let my 3 year old (she just turn 3 as she being out of pram for a year as i had twins) bring her doll and pram that usually kept her mind of things try that and let me know how you get on

Tina-Maria - posted on 04/13/2010

Give her her own shopping list, just keep talking to her and say you have to look for (bread, poppers, biscuits etc) things she eats and recognises. make it fun and shes then involved in what you are doing... If that doesnt work at this age thats ok keep trying that statergy every few months, otherwise a toy or two, snack and drink and if she likes sticker rewards then use them for being good for so many eiles or for finding a colour or shape in the store... Good luck

Brittany - posted on 04/12/2010

my 2 year old is pretty good most of the time. if we go to the grocery store they usually have the carts that are shaped like cars and he will ride in those and be great! if we go to wal mart...he loves looking at toys...and so he knows if he is good throughout the store at the end we will go look at toys (but not buy any). my 10 month old is happy just smiling at people passing by. lol. a couple of times my 2 year old has acted up...usually only if my mom is with me (he thinks he can get away with more when grandma is around) and i will take him aside and if he cannot stop crying then i pick him up and start walking outside. that upsets him b/c he wants to finish shopping so he stops crying. i tell him that if it happens again inside that store that we will leave...and so far i have never had to leave a store!!!

Brandi - posted on 04/12/2010

I have 2 kids and both of them behave really well in the store (mostly). I do NOT reward them for behaving like civilized kids as that is what is expected of them from now until they are grown. I do however, talk with them, we might sing a song, or play a game of I spy. I also involve my kids on what is needed at the store and have them help me keep an eye out for what we need (my 4 year old is very good at this while my 2 year old prefers the singing and talking lol). I use shopping as a fun activity rather than a chore or errand (as when it IS a chore or errand, I tend to have more trouble with them). I give my kids a firm talk before we leave as to what we are going to get (making sure to mention that they are not to ask for toys or candy or anything like that) and what behavior I expect from them. I also avoid shopping during their reg. naptime or mealtime (as they get extra cranky if tired or hungry). I don't give them a snack while in the store because I want them to understand that food isn't something we use to keep ourselves busy, but rather what we NEED to survive. I think if you are clear of what is expected and what will NOT be tolerated, kids will respond pretty well. Also, involving them in the experience, rather than just having them along for the ride is helpful. Now, understand that I am not at all saying that I don't EVER have problems with my kids in the store (my son is 2 and yes occasionally will play up in the store) but my 4 year old ALMOST never gives me any problems. I have had to take her out of the store for a stern talking to just 2 times and both were before she turned 2. Ever since, she KNOWS what is expected in public and she KNOWS that if necessary I WILL leave the store and we WILL go home. My son usually just requires a warning while in the store. I have yet to have to take him out for a lecture, but if the opportunity presents itself, he will, too, be taken outside and reprimanded with a VERY clear explanation of what will happen next if he doesn't listen (which of course is that we will go home and he won't be invited to come shopping with me next time.). Good luck.

Laura - posted on 04/12/2010

Notice the "only had to do this once". She understands being rewarded and what good behavior are, and 99% of the time she's perfectly fine with pushing a cart around. There's no point in dragging a screaming child around a store. It really did work with my mother, I learned at a very young age that acting out in public wasn't appropriate.

I can certainly understand not wanting to put a child with a sitter (mine actually are family members), but misconstruing what I said and making it seem like I threaten to abandon her is ludicrous. If she acts up I just remind her that unless she calms down we're going home. If we go home and I was only out for something little then we stay home. Together.

In the case of my daughter, it's not craving my attention... I'm a stay-at-home mom so we spend all day playing together. She's involved with everything, from picking our her clothes to her meals so I honestly don't see how I'm avoiding parenting.

Summer - posted on 04/11/2010

I actually don't bring food or drink when I take my daughter in, it gets them used to having something so they then act out when they don't get it or don't get the snack they want.

I just do what my mother did with me, I tell her that if she behaves the whole time we're out (usually only 2 stops or so) that I'll buy her a book. If she misbehaves then we go home, I find a sitter and go out on my own. I've only had to do this once, so, even though she is now in her "terrible twos" phase, it stops her from acting out by rewarding the good behavior.
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i honestly dont agree with dumpin them on a sitter an going out if they dont behave thats avoiding the situation more than its helping it makes for seperation anxiety.. an i think its childish. ive never once looked at my daughter an told her i was gonna leave her if she doesnt do this or that.. i use other things like takin toys makin her stand in the coner talkin to her nicely warning her.. parenting skills.. nanny 911 has helped alot shes amazing now that ive applied most of there tips.. but leavin a child when there not behaving i dont agree with.. i honestly think it will cause more problems for the child.
&&snacks are not bad while shopping they have smaller bellys so they snack more hints why there always frikin hungry lol. take lil thinks like cheeze its an something spill proof. its not a bad thing.. reward with gum or ice cream or pony ride in the mall on the machines.. or a coloring book or just puzzle/game time with mommy. its more there craving your attention than anything. but please do not threatin to leave your child just bc shes upsets.. its more avoiding parenting than it is handling it.

Summer - posted on 04/11/2010

toys. stroller. fake cell phone or old one. let her be envolved even if she pics out the uglies thing let her see you try it on ask her if its cute.. that way she feels like its for her to an not just for mommy. my daughter is 3 an obsessed with bras lol. so i let her try a few on put her back in the stroller an tell her well get them on the way out of the mall an shes good lol.

Laura - posted on 04/11/2010

I actually don't bring food or drink when I take my daughter in, it gets them used to having something so they then act out when they don't get it or don't get the snack they want.



I just do what my mother did with me, I tell her that if she behaves the whole time we're out (usually only 2 stops or so) that I'll buy her a book. If she misbehaves then we go home, I find a sitter and go out on my own. I've only had to do this once, so, even though she is now in her "terrible twos" phase, it stops her from acting out by rewarding the good behavior.

Rachel - posted on 04/11/2010

I do the same as everyone else above...food and drinks. Also if you can get a pram that faces you so that your child can see you and you can interact with them. Something you need to look out for also....some children are highly sensitive to lights and sounds and shopping centres can become overwhelming for them. So it may not neccessarily be their behaviour but more that they are unable to deal with the extra stimulation. If they get over anxious or out of control then maybe you might need to go outside or somewhere quiet for a little while for them to calm down.

Cheri - posted on 04/11/2010

i have the same advice, i make sure both my wee ones have had something to eat and drink, i let them choose a toy to take and i let my 3 year old girl help me write a list of what we need or i ask her to remember a couple of things we might need, if she is in a trolley i give her what i pick off the shelf and let her put it in the trolley if it is`nt easily damaged so she feels like a big girl helping mummy. hope this helps

Katherine - posted on 04/11/2010

I agree with Amanda. Always have a snack and a toy that they like. Personally when I take my son to Wal-Mart I always get him french fries from McDonalds (almost every wal-mart has a mcdonalds now). It keeps him happy, and I am able to get my shopping done without him acting up.

Autumn - posted on 04/11/2010

FOOD!!! i have two boys and we use the munchkin snack cups...i fill it to the brim with our shopping snack (usually the trix ball cereal as they dont get them anyother time) and by the time they are both done with their cups i can hit the department store and grocery store (mine just happen to be side by side)...or if we have run out of the cereal i let them have a small toy to play with...usually just something from a happy meal that way if it gets lost its no big deal

Lydia - posted on 04/10/2010

I strap mine down - pram or shopping cart. I also have a snack and drink on hand and something to distract her - even i its just singing nursery rhymes that she can do the actions along to. If all else ails I just do what I have to do with her strapped in and screaming before going home for a big cuppa tea :)

Cheslyn - posted on 04/10/2010

my daughter is also 2 and shopping is a nightmare!! i push the cart or stroller around and pretend its a race car, bus train, plane, boat, or pony. i will make noises to go with whatever we are pretending to do while we shop!! it helps me get through the trip if i can make it fun and funny for her!

Christin - posted on 04/10/2010

i agree, i'd have a snack on hand or have a toy to keep them occupied. or maybe telling her if she yells she will have to leave and will not be allowed to come back and she should be respectful of others and use her inside voice.

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2010

i always make sure my child has had a snack an drink and used the bathroom. I also bring one toy and write her out a small list to check off and keep track of while grocery shopping.