what to call private parts
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Natalie - posted on 02/17/2010
At around the age of 3 children should ditch the baby names for their private parts. It is very important to teach your child the correct name for their body parts as well as to instill in them to keep that area private. A child who knows the correct names of the private area and knows that that area is private will be very alert and will be able to clearly tell the parent if anyone tries to touch them inappropriately.
It is also important to never let your child feel ashamed for being curious about his or her body, in fact if a child expresses curiosity of the private area, a parent should use that situation to teach the child. Teach boys what and where their testicles are and penis is , teach them these words no matter how mature they sound. Teach girls what their vagina is as well as their chest and nipples are, even though they may seem very young. Teach both girl and boy that their private areas (including their bottom) are private which means that only they can touch and look at the area, and to let no one (teachers, neighbors, or friends )look or touch that part of the body. A parent might catch their child touching his/her private area, this behavior is normal and very innocent, if a parent does catch their child doing this the parent must not yell or punish the child. If a parent would rather the child not touch him/herself it should be done so politely but firmly, however, some parents do choose to deem this behavior acceptable and innocent and take no action to it. It is up to parents to instill into their children what they feel is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
A parent must also express to their children what a good touch and a bad touch is, a good touch is shaking hands, hugging, holding hands, a pat on the back, a bad touch is where a person touches a child in the private area (penis, vagina, chest etc.) A parent must let the child know that sometimes very nice people will try to touch them in a very bad way, and that is called a bad touch and if someone does touch them in that way to tell them to stop and then to tell you right away. If a child does get touched, a parent should let the child know that what the person did was a very bad and wrong thing to do. Express to the child that what happened was not his/her fault, he/she is not in trouble and to never be scared to tell you if anyone touched him/her. Express to the child to tell you what happened even if the bad person said to keep what it a secret or that he will hurt the child or the child's family. Parents should not wait for an incident to occur to tell their children not to be afraid to tell them what happened. Before anything happens let the child know never to be afraid to tell. Parents should tell the child to let them know if the child feels scared around a certain person.
Let children know some ways nice people may try to get them to show their privates; for example a parent could say to their child; "a nice man might say to you, let me check your penis or vagina to make sure that you are okay, trust me, I am your friend, I will not hurt you." The parent should then tell the child if that happens to run away to get help, or to tell you right away because, "that was a very bad man, who said a very bad thing." You may have to get very serious and specific with your child because sexual predators are everywhere, in church, in school, at the library etc. Also let girls know that woman may try to touch them inappropriately and the same with men and boys.
A good way for parent's to test their child's understanding of keeping their private parts private is to ask them what they would do in certain situations; "What would you do if a woman asks you to come into the bathroom with her so that you can show her what your vagina looks like?" Or "What if your friend wants to see your penis, what would you do?"
Remember to use the correct terms for the private area, no matter how mature they may sound..
Kristin - posted on 02/17/2010
my daughter and i call it our "whoo ha" its more a funny thing so that in tims like her dress is stuck in her tights i can say 'pull your dress down girl, i can see your whoo ha.' and she knows that 'whoo ha's ' are a secret so no one can see them. she's only 5. i don't WANT her saying 'vagina'.
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Tonya - posted on 02/19/2010
while I do agree that they should be taught the proper terms I've seen the movie Kindergarden cop and I can't help but cringe whenever i hear the lil boy stand up and announce girls have a vagina and boys have a penis. at a young age when children begin to realize their body parts etc they like to proudly show off their knowledge to others and in a society with so many perverts hanging around isn't it better to teach them a nickname as well as the correct term for it. Who really wants their 2 or 3 or 4 yr old hollering out in the store" Mommy my vagina/penis hurts?" or some such thing, why would we open our children up to a mature world at such a young age. why not let them have the innocence of a child? we already have to talk to them so early about puberty etc why not enjoy your child and let the rest fall into place?
Tonya - posted on 02/19/2010
I'm the mom of 2 boys ages 6 and 5 and 2 girls age 2 and 11 months. we call the boys parts a "bird" and the girls have an ootie patootie. my now 5 yr old was 2 and 1/2 when we brought his sister home and during a diaper change one day he noticed his sister looked different (daddy was changing her diaper) he looked up and said Daddy, why doesn't she have a bird? before my husband could figure out how to answer him my son looked up and said, Oh I know girls have a butt allover. now I know some would find this inapropriate but this has worked for us. my children know that boys and girls are different, we've taught them to not touch others and to only allow their dr's and mommy, daddy, a babysitter or a grandparent to touch them when bathroom breaks etc are neccessary (I'm also very picky about my sitters) my boys are in school now and we have talked about telling us if someone touches them or they feel uncomfortable with things. etc. regardless of what you decide to call your childs private parts the most important thing is for them to know their are limits and that its ok for them to talk to you about anything that may bother them. Having children is a blessing but each mother and father must decide for themselves how the best to raise them if your truly bothered with it consider talking to your childs dr. They could give yo some insight and probably some informatin and literature on age appropriate explanatins etc. Best of luck mom !!
Blair - posted on 02/19/2010
we have always called girls privates as a front bum i have 2 daughters 3 & 7 and i think it is apprioate for them at this age. But when my oldest gets a big bigger i will tell her what it is called when we do the whole puberty talk i find it weird how some kids at 5yrs can tell you everything ablut puberty & sex etc... cause parents have informed them too early and i think that is where we get STIs in our children early in their lives 15 yrs+ for boys we use the term lulu or nudle when we have my nephews over.
Everyone is different everyone has their own views this is just a suguestion
Kahli - posted on 02/19/2010
my son is 21mths, since he was 18mths, he has called it a penis. why should i teach him to call it anything but what it is? i dont tell him to call his nose something else, and a penis is just another body part.
he knows it is 'private' though and tells me so when i am cleaning his up during nappy changes.
Angela - posted on 02/19/2010
I think the nicknames are appropriate for children. My son calls his privates- his private or his wee-wee. he also knows that girls' parts are different from boys' parts but only because he knows that I do not stand up to tinkle. I think it is appropriate to teach your children the real names, but choose the timing carefully. Do you really want your two year old to walk around at Christmas or Easter saying those words and giggling? SOmetimes they love to share new things too much!
Trish - posted on 02/19/2010
when I was thinking this thru I had to consider things like association... A doodle can be a drawing, Dick or Willy can be a guys name, Bum is thier bum... etc etc so after thinking it out we came up with Woodle and Gynie... Its worked so well even my sisters have started using these names for thier kids too :)
Tiffany - posted on 02/19/2010
Kerrie, with my 4 boys it started out as "peter". Although this is what they normally call it they do know that it is really a penis. I dont think it matters as long as they arent in junior high still calling it their pee-pee or something. My oldest boys( both age 7) do know that girls do not have a penis they have a vigina.
My youngest boys (both 3) primarliy call it their penis. Except one of them who calls it his "hines". A cross between hiney and penis is I guess where it came from :D
They also what where their testicles are also.
I dont think there is really a right or wrong. Its what you feel comfortable with.
Jackie - posted on 02/19/2010
I have 2 boys, a 4 yo and a 11 month old. They have a penis. My sister has 4 boys and they call theirs a "tang tang", I could never keep a stright face and say that so my kids know the correct names lol My oldest hasnt asked for a specific name but he knows that I have girl parts.
Patricia - posted on 02/19/2010
Thank you for this post. My husband and I call her private part her "area" for the time being. I had thought about what names to use once she turned one and was leaning towards using the proper names. Your post helped me make a final decision the points you brought up are very important. I agree that kids should be aware of the proper names so they can be alert and informed so bad people don't take advantage of their innocence.
Lauren - posted on 02/19/2010
If you choose to use nicknames, make sure they are nicknames that everyone will understand/recognize(even people outside your circle). I'd say if your daughter will be in daycare or anything of the sort, you may want to teach her the proper terms. I am a foster parents, so I chose to teach my son proper terms, as it is important for the foster children to know them as well.
Mallory - posted on 02/19/2010
As to avoid as much confusion as possible I always taught my daughter that that was her "Girl Part". Recently she put two and two together and made the statement, "if girls have Girl Parts, then boys must have Boy Parts, right?" I just always had a problem with nicknames that could be confused with other things (my step-mother calls it a Tu Tu, which made for a FUN explanation when my sister started dance) and I was leery of her using the correct term until she's older. So, for now Girl Part it is.
Chantelle - posted on 02/19/2010
i agree with nicknames for childrens privates. by not teaching them the real names what damage are we really doing, so what when he/shes five-six they hear the real name,then tell them the truth, that cookie was just a nickname.i think the only reason parents teach there kids the reall names is so the kid looks smart and make them grow up faster.
tell me do you remember being 5 and calling your cookie a vagina...no of course you dont so who cares, this only matters to the parents and what they want to hear wether it be willy or penis
Christina - posted on 02/19/2010
My 4 yr old son has a 'winkie' as that was how he pronounced willy when small, and when my 2 yr old daughter was born, we called her bits 'minkie'. Kids will be kids and I dont really want mine yelling out in the middle of tesco that boys have penis' and girls have vaginas! I think it sounds crude personally. We have taught our children that no one is allowed to touch thier bits, I dont think what you call it makes a difference to that!
JESSINA - posted on 02/19/2010
EVERYONE HAS THERE OWN WAY OF SAYING THE PRIVATE PARTS IF YOU WANNA GIVE IT A CUTE NAME FOR THE LIL ONE THEN DO IT DONT LET NO ONE TELL YOU WHAT TO CALL IT AS LONG AS YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT IT. THEY ARE LIL SO THEY ALSO SAY STUFF AT RANDOM ANYWHERE YOU GO SO ALSO THINK OF THAT.
ON ANOTHER NOTE:
ONE OF MY COUSINS CALLS THE VAGINA KITTY
SO I GUESS MY DAUGHTER REMEMBERED THAT AND SHES NOT EVEN TWO
AND ONE DAY I SAW A CAT AND I TELL HER LOOK AT THE KITTY AND SHE POINTS TO HER VAGINA I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY AND CUTE SO NOW WE CALL IT KITTY
Katt - posted on 02/19/2010
I've always called it by it's proper name. I am uncomfortable saying it but I think that is because my mother always called it a "pee pee" and it made me uncomfortable with the word vagina which is wrong. She has never been a big grabber down there but the few times i've always told her thats her vagina. Maybe when she's older and can understand when were in public have her call it a V but I don't see how saying the word vagina in public would offend someone. If I ever have a boy i'll tell him thats his penis I find children who know the real names are more comfortable with it. I know in grade two we had to spell apple and whenever the teacher would say "a-pp-le" we'd all laugh at the "pp" part which is slightly wrong I think lol
Nicole - posted on 02/19/2010
i think a who who is a good thing for when she is really young. my mothers boyfriends daughter calls it that and it doesn't sound inappropriate and its not like they are going to go around saying it. i only heard her say it once cuz i was changing my daughter and she said a who who.
Rachel - posted on 02/19/2010
jay jay and pee pee.....that way if we're in public theyre not screaming something about their penis or vagina.....it makes some people uncomfortable.....nicknames keep it discreet but u still know what they are talking about even if other people dont. Its not like grown ups walk around talking about vaginas and penis's and testicles so why should a child be expected to do the same?
Jamie - posted on 02/19/2010
This is a sensitive subject for many, but I agree with others that the best thing is to call a child's private parts is by their correct names. I was shocked and appalled when my 4-year-old stepdaughter referred to her private area as her "poon tang" months ago, and my husband and I have struggled with her mother on parenting issues for a while now. When we confronted the mother about our stepdaughter using such a disgusting reference, her mother stated that she "didn't see what was wrong with calling it her poon tang, since there are worse names out there." umm, hello???? What could be more inappropriate for a 4-year-old to say?
Which situation would be more embarrassing...being out in public and having your child say "that lady has a vagina"--or-- "that lady has a poon tang"? It isn't even an issue of mature name vs. cutesie name; if you deem it appropriate to use a knick name, great. But have enough common sense to choose an age-appropriate reference, not something one would hear in a rated-R film.
My husband and I are expecting our first daughter together in a few short weeks and have already agreed that when the time is right and she inquires, we will be referring to our private parts by their correct terminology. As for our stepdaughter, we've had our sit-down conversation with her and told her that in our house, we are ladies and don't use that word. I hope in the future she grows to understand and respect her body.
Shannon - posted on 02/19/2010
Our 2 older girls call them their "private areas". And we tell them that they are private only for mommy, daddy or a doctor to look at if need be. I heard one of my 6 year olds friend call it her "cookie" and it just sounded wrong. When they are a little older we will teach them their proper names, but for now this is simple enough for them to under stand & I don't feel embarrassed if they say it in public.
Heather - posted on 02/19/2010
we call my sons his peterpan when my husband asked me why i had a smart comment about never growing up it was funny and its easy for my potty training 2 year old to say my niece calls hers her kitty it just helps in public sometimes
Samantha - posted on 02/19/2010
I am a nurse. In nursing school they taught us to call them a vagina and a penis. The reason for this is, if they are ever sexually assaulted. They can tell someone what part of the body the person was touching and everyone would know what they are talking about. God knows I don't wish that on ANYONE'S child, but it happens too many times to ignore it.
Laila - posted on 02/19/2010
I don't think there is anything wrong with either way....my son calls his a tweeter but he knows its a penis. He is not confused. For the Mom's that said we don't nickname our other body parts why would we nickname those....I think we do nickname other body parts. Haven't you ever called your kids toes piggies? I woundn't mind if my child his penis a peni but I think it's way cuter to have a nicknam for it and I don't think that is wrong.
For the mom who uses noodle-LOVE IT!
Sheryl - posted on 02/19/2010
we use a nick name in my house for my boys. they say wee wee or pee pee. so that way if we are out poeple will just think oh they got to go pee. i think it ok. they really don't need to learn that med. stuff i feel at there age. i feel when they are old enough they well ask that stuff. but that just how i see it.
Michelle - posted on 02/19/2010
i think vigina sounds horriable.....i have 5 kids the boys have winkies and the girls have crotches so thats what i use....some people call it a cookie and i think that is horriable....because if something ever happend u would have no clue if they are talkking about food or there girl part.........
Kellyn - posted on 02/19/2010
I think as long as your child knows that privates are exactly that, to be kept private, the word you use is not important. As long as a child knows that his or her private parts are not to be touched by anyone except mom and dad (or whomever you say can), the word you and they use to convey it is irrelevant.
La'Tee's - posted on 02/19/2010
I still sometimes call it what my mom called it when we were little, my mom called female parts "poo poo" never used that word for poop, lol, just the vagina, but i think it really depends on what the mother/father/partner deem appropriate for their child. No one can really tell your child what is or isnt okay, but You. After all, you're the one who has to hear the words, LOL!
Katie - posted on 02/18/2010
My son always called his ding ding and mommy has a who who. Then I taught him the correct words and it came out peeenis. It was so cute until he told my grandpa, his ggrandpa, that he came out of his mommy's bagina...and yes, he pronounced it with a b. :) I miss him being little, but now he's 9 going on 32...lol
My fiance and I haven't ever talked about it but then again, our little one won't even be here until August. But even now, we're always surrounded by children. He tends to call male parts "peter" and female parts "who's". I don't really remember what I called it when I was younger but when we actually had "the talk" I called them by their name.
I really like the idea of calling it her "treasure" though...
Nakita - posted on 02/18/2010
There is really no right or wrong answer to this question. To each its own is how I feel about it. Because up until my kids are old enough use their vagina (or coochie, or cookies, or vajayjay, or whatever else it can and will be nicknamed) for anything other than urinating - they can call it what they want. I hope all of you moms are as open when your children start talking about using them for reproduction.
Billie - posted on 02/18/2010
we call my son's penis his ting ting and his older sister calls her vagina her poo poo she knows the correct term she just chooses to use that and when the time comes I will teach my son the correct term for his penis I just let them decide what they want to call it
Kaitlyn - posted on 02/18/2010
She does know what everything really is. She knows she has a vagina and what it is called. Tushie is simply her public name for it. She even knows what a period is, since she has never really shied away from asking me anything. She even knows about her urethra, and that its a separate hole because of a condition she has when she was younger. Trust me, my daughter knows exactly what she has and what everything is actually called. She picked the word tushie for herself. I talked to her about it to make sure that she understood what she was referring to. I have always told my daughter the truth about her body, feeling that if she is old enough to think of the question then she is old enough to hear the answer, and it will be the same with my son.
Kaitlyn - posted on 02/18/2010
My daughter, who is 6 now calls it her tushie in the front and her glutious in the back. She learned the proper name for the muscles in school, and has called her butt her glutious ever since.
Its a funny story of why she calls her front a tushie, actually. My nephew, Alex, is two years older than her and he came for a visit while she was a baby. He had never seen another baby before, let alone a girl baby. I went to change her diaper, and after I had finished, he looked at me and said, "Aunt Kaitie, why does Isa have two butts?" I turned bright red from trying not to laugh. And I let his mom, who was laughing, answer.
We call my son's stuff his penis for now since he is a baby, only three months. I don't say scrotum, however, but that is more because that is simply the sac, and I don't say testes or testicals either. I just call them his balls or 'his stuff', cause its easier, for now. With Isa though its his peepee or his stuff. I also sometimes call it a peanut, simply because he's not been circumcised and it kinda looks like a half a peanut.
Isa does, however, know the proper terms for her parts, and for her brother, and he will too, its just I want to keep it simple until I know he can understand.
Isa feels very comfortable with herself and if she has a problem with anything or any questions, she has never hesitated to ask me about it. She also went through a stage where she played with herself. Doctor told me that was normal, and she didn't do it in public so I tactfully ignored it, because I never want her to think that any part or her is dirty or naughty. I will handle my son the same way when the time comes.
Though it did kind of freak me out the first time he smiled at me during a diaper change.
Brittany - posted on 02/18/2010
my 3 year old son calls his a "dinky" and he understands that girls dont have "dinkys", he just says girls have "butts" no "dinkys"! And everyone has "boobs", but just girls have big "boobs" when their grown ups.We'll teach him the correct words probably before kindergarten. I dont even say penis or vagina so it would be VERY weird for him to right now!
Erin - posted on 02/18/2010
Honestly, I have never understood why people are so afraid of the words "penis" or "vagina" or "breasts". I mean, that is what they are right? I think the common misperception is that those words might sound dirty, but they really aren't dirty at all. It is what it is. I want my daughter to be able to talk about things without being embarressed about it. Beating around the bush with little nicknames, I think teaches a child those parts are shameful, or dirty. Children do need to understand those parts are private, and nobody is ever allowed to touch those parts but they also need to know they can talk about certain things confidently with their parents or doctors when they need too.
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