what to do?

Stacey - posted on 01/21/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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hi there, i'm 22 yrs old i have a 8 month old baby girl who i adore!!!! none of my friends have children they all work full time and party on the wkends so its hard to meet up and go out! as we all know once you have a child everything changes! i'm just really starting to fell so lonely, my partner is really support but works long days (14 to 16hrs) so by the time he gets home he is asleep in an hr or 2! i find myself doing the same things over and over the days just seem to pass, before i know it a wk has pasted lol! my partner brought up the idea with me about joining a mothers group or playgroup to meet other mums??? which i think is a great idea but it frightens the hell out of me! i worry about meeting new people, i worry they will all be older then me and i won't fit in and in someways i think just the thought of doing something different and doin it on my own makes me panic!



i know it probably sounds stuipd, but i just wanted to know if anyone has felt the same way or has any adive and whether anyone thinks playgroups ect. are good?????

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17 Comments

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Louise - posted on 01/22/2009

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Yeah i get what u mean. I moved from South to Manchester last year. My partner was workin I had no friends, i was completly isolated. I didnt even know my way around the town i lived in. N da same I was terryfied of the groups as I am only 20 n thought da same all da mums wud b older then me. But I went n it was great I made a m8 da same day n went out the nxt nite together. All i can say is ur the only person dat can help ur problem, n dat is to go to the baby groups, cause u'll meet people n get ur life bck and it will be good for ur ickle girl cause she will be other children n babies n u'll c her development will benefit from this!

Jenna - posted on 01/22/2009

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awww, i was wanting to post the same thing.



I have recently moved to a small town where i know nobody, and I am just trying to get up the confidence to join a mums group. I belonged to one where I used to live, and it was really good. Everyone was alot older than me, and at first it was intimidating.. bt i soon got over it.



 Hopefully I will take some of my own advice and find out some more info about my nearest group tomorrow.

Amanda - posted on 01/22/2009

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i am a strong believer in playgroups... some of the better friends i made there are almost old enough to be my mum yet they have kids the same age as mine. being a mum gives everyone something in common... i know what you mean about being lonely, i moved away from all my family and friends a while back to get a fresh start and my hubby was travelling 3 to and from work and working a 12 hr shift, was very lonely and a 18mth old just doesnt cut it for intellectual conversations hehe

Nicole - posted on 01/22/2009

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I go to playgroup and all the mums are a lot older than me but it is still great and my kids have so much fun. Give it a go if you dont like it you dont have to stay or you could look for a young mums group. all the best

Suzie - posted on 01/22/2009

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Hi there, I was actually quite young when I had my first, just turned 19. I felt just as you do. It can be so lonely!!! It is the greatest time of your life, yet you can still feel so blah. Life changes incredibly fast the moment that baby is born, even before. You never really quite know what to expect. It is always painted to be the most beautiful picture, but nobody really talks about the struggles that come along with it. I actually ended up being diagnosed with post partum depression after my second. So believe me, I know how you feel. I think that it would be good to maybe talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, just to keep everything in check. You are not stupid or crazy for feeling the way you do. Just feeling it makes it valid I always say. As for the playgroups, I went to one for a bit after my first and it was nice. I don't think that the age thing will really matter. For one thing, people have babies at all different ages and walks of life, and for another, a mom is a mom no matter what. You will still be going through the same things as everyone else, regardless of if you are 22 and they are 42. It's really nice to have someone to talk to that is on the same path in life as you are. So keep your head up, try to get out and enjoy this time with your daughter. Smile, and go make some friends with kids too. You will be surprised at how easy it is to do when you have a kid of your own. Good luck, I hope that I have been helpful. If you want to chat with me I am here too. I am 26 and have 3 kids now, aged 7, 4and1/2 and 2. Bye for now. Suzie

Krystal - posted on 01/21/2009

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hey hun playgroups are great, i've been a single mum now for just over 3 years so i know exactly what you are talking about with feeling alone. it does get very lonely and sometimes hard to cope but at the end of the day it is worth it to watch your little one grow. but if you are wanting to get out then maybe playgroup is a great idea for you stace cos you will meet a lot more people. try to stick the the suburbs where there's less dole bludgers and less drugs cos then you will meet some great genuine people. let me know how you go darl. take care xoxo

Carie - posted on 01/21/2009

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I work full time at my family business so I am able to bring my daughter (9 months 2 weeks)  to work with me every day. I couldn't be a stay at home mom. (I couldn't even take all 6 weeks off, came back to work a week and a half after she was born) But it helps being able to bring her in everyday. I have not gotton together a play group for kind of the same reasons plus my life is way to busy, but she has some cousins she plays with. Playgroups are a great idea for any child and mom! You just have to remember all the moms in the playgroups are in the same boat you are. They wouldn't be there if they were not. To bad your not near me... I could use a play group!

Ashly - posted on 01/21/2009

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i would say go for it as well. there are no mom groups where i live so it sucks, you are stuck being alone. if the opportunity arises, take it.. nothing to lose!

Crystal - posted on 01/21/2009

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i know how u feel hun . im 25 ... and i find it hard to have a social life and be able to hang out with friends  wen i had my son most of my friends just didnt want to know me. my partner knows its hard ... i did the mother and baby groups and stuff like that it made me feel so much lonely . then i started on facebook and made a few friends now im on here and feel like i belong now .... it will get easier tho trust me.... dont worrie it doesnt sound stupid hun . i think everyone goes through the same thing once they have a child

Amanda - posted on 01/21/2009

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definatly go for it!!if your lonely and bored wot is there to lose?if you dont like it u can always leave but im sure it will do u the world of good!most mums feel the same,good luck xx

[deleted account]

I have totally been there. I was the first of all my friends to have a baby and it is hard, but the amazing thing is that all the moms I have met have been so nice. Once you have a kid your automatically in the Mom group and it really doesn't matter if you have different interest, because you have one major thing in common. If you don't know where to find playgroups call a local library or a local church.
Check out http://www.bellytobellybutton.com/ for more advice by Moms for Moms

Michelle - posted on 01/21/2009

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I've never been to a play group with either of my children because I was worried too. I'm trying to find one as most of my friends dont have children

Lucie - posted on 01/21/2009

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go for it it will do you the world of good they are great for meeting mums. i was really scared of the thought of play groups but its great fun

Lucie - posted on 01/21/2009

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go for it it will do you the world of good they are great for meeting mums. i was really scared of the thought of play groups but its great fun

Erin - posted on 01/21/2009

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playgroups are awesome!!   I'm from ontario, canada and here in ontario we have a program called 'Ontario Early Years'.  It's absolutely amazing!  They have a group set of for every day of the week.  They range from going for a walk, free play, info groups (breastfeeding) to singing songs with young babies.  None of my friends have babies as well so i've had to find mothers to hang out with because it does get very lonely and boring.  Since starting these groups i've met so many mothers and we know hang out outside of the organized groups.  We rotate hosting halloween parties, christmas parties and backyard parties in the summer.    Look into your community events and see if your area has mommy groups.  Even if you don't enjoy the groups, it's a great place to meet people with the same interests.

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