What would u do?

Kiley - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I tend to get frustrated with my son and he is only 4 months old! i don't know how to control my anger and i feel guilty about it. I dont want accidentally take it to far! I mean i love that baby more then anything in the world! what would u do if u had really bad anger issues?

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September - posted on 10/21/2009

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Get some help. Talk to someone you love or sign up for some counseling sessions. You could also talk to your doctor and they can prescribe something for you to help with your anger. Your baby did not ask to be born so remember that when you get mad at him. He does not deserve it. Babies are blessings and should be treated that way :) I feel for you and I hope that you can get the help that you deserve. I'm here if you wanna talk :) Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 10/21/2009

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I completely understand getting frustrated. I have a 1 yr old and a 2 month old, and it never fails, when I get one calm, the other one starts screaming about something. But you must ALWAYS remember, it is never the childs fault. Especially when they are so young, they dont understand right or wrong, and when something is wrong with them.. whether it be they are hungry or just need their diaper changed, the only way they know how to communicate with you is to cry. The best thing to do is just walk away for a few minutes, and try to calm yourself. If this doesnt work, then possibly see if a family member could stop by every now and again to help you out and give you a breather.

Tricia - posted on 10/21/2009

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I do have really bad anger issues, and everday I have to pray to God that He will give the strength and wisdom to discipline my children correctly. Anger is not a sin, but its how you use it.

Zakimah - posted on 10/21/2009

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First find out who you are really mad at and second, though its often the hardest thing to do, but nothing worth doing is ever easy ~chill~. I know, its not easy trying to remain cool but what benefit comes from yelling at someone who doesn't even speak your language yet. Besides its your love that'll keep them strong and you want it to be in the most positive of ways

Claire - posted on 10/21/2009

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I think anyone who's had a kid get's like that sometimes, it's totally normal. Best thing to do is set him down somewhere safe and take yourself away for a couple of minsuntil you feel calmer, and then take a deep breath and return to him.

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Amy - posted on 10/21/2009

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Quoting Molly:

I would put the baby down in a crib or a safe place and hop in the shower. Your baby might cry for a few minutes but he'll be ok, when you get out you'll feel refreshed and in a better mood! :)



yep.. thats what i did :)

User - posted on 10/21/2009

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my partner has this problem. i dont get frustrated or angry, im not that kinda person. its not a bad thing to get frustrated, its normal. the important thing is that you recognise it so you can stop it before you go to far. i get my partner to inhale deeply and do a long exhale 10 or more times, leave the room, make a coffee, have a fag or whatever and then go back to it. as long as you leave the baby somewhere safe. if the babys cry upsets you then kids tv is a lifesaver for 5mins peace! my son was really ill when he was a bab n cried constantly, i never got angry just upset i couldnt help him so i used to put winnie the pooh on and he was quiet long enough for me to have a break. there is nothing wrong with puttin him infront of the tv for a while! esp if it gives you a break! dont feel like your a bad mum because you get angry and frustrated with you baby because the important thing is that you recognise it!

Brandy - posted on 10/21/2009

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Try to find a post partum support group near you. It's just a bunch of women who have the same kinds of issues sitting around and talking. They will deal with everything from depression to frustration and give you someone to relate to and maybe some ideas on how to calm yourself. Also, you should have a friend or family member who is aware of this that you can call on at any time. For the sake of the baby. You are not a bad mother, you just have an issue you need to work through and just need to take the proper precautions until you do. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help when you need it and maybe you should talk to somebody (mother, good friend) and see if maybe they can give you a few hours a week to yourself so you can relax.

Rebecca - posted on 10/21/2009

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give it time - your babe will hopefully mellow out as they get older and so will you as the situation becomes more common-place

Hillary - posted on 10/21/2009

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You need to remember that your baby is just a baby, and isn't frustrating you on purpose, trust me, your frustration just gets worse as your baby gets older and is better able to get around on their own. My advice is to just put him somewhere safe, his crib, the floor, the swing, whatever, and get a moment to yourself. My daughter is 11 months old, and diaper changing is my particular frustration. She refuses to lay still, and it can be so difficult, but when I find myself losing my cool, I sing. I sing the alphabet, lullaby, taylor swift...whatever! Not only does it make Bella stop wiggling and pay attention to what I'm doing, it makes her smile, and then I smile back at her, and we both feel better! So when you're frustrated, try to think of something that calms both of you (besides smoking!) and you'll both feel better! Good luck!

[deleted account]

you need more sleep. If you fell depressed go to the dr but if you had anger issues before you were prego then its most likely just hieghtened b/c of the hormones. are yo a single mom? if not whoever is there needs to help. also its been said a thousand times but always sleep when the baby sleeps even during the day no housework when the baby is sleeping. YOU SLEEP!! I found this helped alot. in the begining i tried to be super mom but quickly realized if i kept it up i would have hurt someone (NOT THE BABY). All you have to keep in mind is that they dont know any better and you do so walk away before you do something you will regret and screaming baby is better then hurting your baby.

Triana - posted on 10/21/2009

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I agree with Leah. Even if you feel guilty having them cry it is sometimes better. Babies are suppose to cry. Means they are healthy. I was like that couple weeks after being home. The weight of motherhood hit me and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be a great mom. Good luck hun everything will be alright

Molly - posted on 10/21/2009

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I would put the baby down in a crib or a safe place and hop in the shower. Your baby might cry for a few minutes but he'll be ok, when you get out you'll feel refreshed and in a better mood! :)

Ashley - posted on 10/21/2009

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Set him down in his bed and walk away. Go somewhere to take a breather. I know how you feel! Lately my son decided not to sleep (he is seven months), and I know it is teething, but I am still getting frustrated. Not at him, but the situation. I walked away for a moment ot gather myself.

Talk to your significant other, or someone in your life. It sounds like you just need to get it all out, so pour out all your emotions to someone close to you. If you think you have post partum depression, consult your doctor.

It is ok! All of us moms get frustrated!

Good luck mama!

Natasha - posted on 10/21/2009

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There are times when a mother do get frustrated with their child when they first bring them home. It is hard to adjust but you need your motherly instincts to kick in. It is frustrating and you should talk to your husband. I dont want to say it but maybe your suffering from postpartum depression and need some counseling. I have dealt with many mothers that had anger issues when they first brought their child home and they sought whatever help they could muster up for the safety of their child. My daughter was clingysince the day she was born she never wanted anyone especially her father to pick her up but me. She even would cry if I left the house for a couple of hours and was left home with her paternal grandmother. I would come back in moments once they called me and could not handle her crying.

It is hard but please be strong for the sake of your son, and dont feel bad about it, it is a usual feeling a mother feels well some or most it depends. All I can say is talk to your OB/GYN they will see what they can do but making sure you get the treatment you need to help yourself and your baby.

Kiley - posted on 10/21/2009

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Quoting Krystal:

I do have anger issues i've had them from a baby. and i had a baby that had colic and rsv between the ages of 3 weeks and 6weeks!! talk about frustrating. at 4 months old they dont know right from wrong and yu have to remember that. also what i would do when I started to feel the boil of anger was walk away. I smoke ciggarettes i know they are horrible but i still do it. I would leave my daughter on the floor with something to entertain here like a gymini mat and go have a ciggarette outside then come in and wash up and change by then i was calm enough to deal with the situation. Just leave the baby where if they roll over they wont get hurt like on the floor and Just take the monitor with you if you are going out of ear shot and take a few minutes for your self. this is the only thing that has helped me. good luck and deep breathes
P.S. you can also take a hot shower for a few minutes to relax the baby will be fine even if he's screaming. my theory you know they are fine if you feed them and changed them so strengthen those lungs.


i have done all of that and i smoke as well.. but it still doesnt seem to really work, and i dont usually get frustrated until its the middle of the night and he starts crying, maybe its me not getting enough sleep! but whatever it is i really need to not get angry because i feel like such a crappy person when i do!

Kali - posted on 10/21/2009

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I felt this way when I first brought my son home, I would put him in his swing and take five mins. This helped and sometimes he would fall asleep so I got a little more time.

[deleted account]

I do have anger issues i've had them from a baby. and i had a baby that had colic and rsv between the ages of 3 weeks and 6weeks!! talk about frustrating. at 4 months old they dont know right from wrong and yu have to remember that. also what i would do when I started to feel the boil of anger was walk away. I smoke ciggarettes i know they are horrible but i still do it. I would leave my daughter on the floor with something to entertain here like a gymini mat and go have a ciggarette outside then come in and wash up and change by then i was calm enough to deal with the situation. Just leave the baby where if they roll over they wont get hurt like on the floor and Just take the monitor with you if you are going out of ear shot and take a few minutes for your self. this is the only thing that has helped me. good luck and deep breathes

P.S. you can also take a hot shower for a few minutes to relax the baby will be fine even if he's screaming. my theory you know they are fine if you feed them and changed them so strengthen those lungs.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/21/2009

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Hi, you could try breathing taking a min to yourself. Your son is young when you start to get angery just leave the room for a minute he won't get into any trouble and that way you have a minute to calm down.

Leah - posted on 10/21/2009

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I have gotten frustrated with my daughter as well, what i do is put her down and walk away, it is better that they cry then doing something out of frustration. This is totally normal to feel that way, if you have a crib or pack n play, set him in and walk away until you feel better.

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