whats the best way to deal with a 2 year olds really bad tantrums?

Jeannie - posted on 03/02/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my daughter has really bad tantrums where shes scratches herself bites,kicks and punches me and then will bang her head against walls and doors.

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Britni - posted on 03/02/2009

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Hey Jeannie-

Every child certainly is different, but I have found that time outs have worked amazingly well for my son and several of my other friends' children as well. Just as soon as she starts to throw a fit, calmly put her in a designated spot (against a wall seems to work really good, there are walls everywhere you go! lol) and kneel down to her level and tell her why she is being put in time out. Make her stay there for 2 minutes (one minute for every year). Don't pay any attention to her if she talks screams or anything. Also if she gets up just calmly set her beack in the same spot without making eye contact or saying anything ( if they get any kind of attention for getting up, or if you get flustered, they will keep doing it to get a rise out of you) and start the time over. Be persistant.... it may take a while to get her to sit there for 2 minutes. When the two minutes is up, kneel down in front of her again and have her apologize, or whatever and give her a hug and tell her that you love her. You have to make sure and put her in time out EVERY time she pitches a fit, or it will not work. But like I said, be persistant and eventually she will learn to control herself.

Make sure that you spend enough one on one time with her though, b/c if that is why she is throwing fits then it is not right or fair to punish her for merely needing time with you. Good luck, and I hope this helps!

Camary - posted on 03/03/2009

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Normally in a 2 yrs is looking how far could they go. U have to be a little careful that she wont hurt her self. I have a question u mention in ur last repond that u have a baby due in three week. When did she started this behavior. maybe she a little jelouse that a new baby is coming. U could try this, when she start get on her eye level explain to her why her behavior is not acceptible when she done with her tantrums put her on time out so she could learn concequences fo her action, She would get it.

Marie - posted on 03/03/2009

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Britni is absolutely right.  also consider that 2 years olds can't distinguish between attention because they are being good and attention because they are mis-behaving.



Reward good behaviour but ignore bad behaviour.  If you tell your child that they are being naughty make sure you tell them that their behaviour is what you consider to be naughty NOT them.



HTH



Marie

Gemma - posted on 03/03/2009

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My daughter does this also, I read and theres a dvd called 123 magic and its done wonders for me. It advises you on how to deal with trantrums and bad behaviour, I thought my daughters where too young to get it but it's really helping me out heaps.
I didn't want to pay heaps to buy the dvd but my local library has the dvd and book - theyre really well known so you should be able to get a copy for free

Crystal - posted on 03/02/2009

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My son didnt have tantrums until he was 3. It was like turning on a light switch. He went from being perfect, to being this wild animal. I couldnt take him out in public for about 9 months. Everytime we went anywhere I'd have to carry him out to the car kicking and screaming. I'd put him in car and he'd bang his head on the window and scream. He'd yell "somebody help me". It was horrible!! I just knew that one day I'd get the cops called on me for kidnapping. I had actually thought about carrying his birth certificate with me just in case lol I thought I was a horrible mom and I was doing something wrong. Then one day, the switch turned back off, and he hasnt had another. It's the weirdiest thing!! No matter what I did to stop the tantrums it didnt work. I'd ignore it, he'd get more upset. I'd try to sooth him, he'd get more upset. I think that young children just do not know any other way to express frustration. So they kick and scream and throw a fit. When they get a bit older and can verbalize (is that how u say it? lol) their feelings the tantrums subside. Then u get to deal with the backtalking lol



Good Luck

Crystal

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Cheryl - posted on 01/10/2011

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WALK AWAY! and let her bang/ bite. OR make sure she goes into time out. I never could be bothered with time out with my kids, and just stepped over them swimming away on the carpet and went out of the room. When they see that you're not watching or reacting, they'll soon come and find you. Just don't give in to her... No means no, first and last! Never give in for peace sake, you'll be doing her and yourself a great disservice.

Wendy - posted on 03/03/2009

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I have a two year old son and the only thing that works is to put him in his room and let him cry it out do not give them any attention but just make sure that they are safe.

Jeannie - posted on 03/03/2009

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thank you all for your comments and i will try to see which suggestion suits me and my child best i jus hope its not to long before these tantrums stop as i have a baby due in 3 weeks

Danielle - posted on 03/02/2009

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I too know what that's like................With my oldest child I would just ignor her till she stoped, if I wasen't paying attention it would never last long.  My youngest is a little more stubborn, it toke a few try's however she got over it.  I really do think it all depends on the child, if you can stand to watch her do these things, than I would just turn your back and walk away.......She is only 2 so I don't think she will bite herself too many times before she gets sick of hurting herself.  Give it a try and see how you make out. 



 



Good Luck!

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