When do you think Child Services should be involved?

Hayley - posted on 04/07/2009

call them, i live in the uk and i dont like social services because i dont think that they do things properly, you sound very worried about these kids and from what you have said you have good reason to be, keep calling them even though it will get annoying for you to keep doing it will be worth it if they get help. tell the dad to keep filing for custody and eventually it should get worked out one way or another.

ask a health visitor or another health professional their advice or even talk to the school and ask them to report it to child services and tell them how worried you are about it.

dont give up on the kids they dont deserve it

Emma - posted on 04/07/2009

Call, you could also try getting other family members who are worried to call. They wont ignore many calls regarding this matter. If you have a local child and youth health center thay may also be able to give you some advice for steps in the right direction. Godluck, your a good person for seeking advice so dont give up!

Ashlee - posted on 04/06/2009

Don't think any longer about calling them. CALL THEM!!!! A 13 year old doesn't have to help take care of their siblings, he/she didn't have them, they are not his/her responsibility. The mother shouldn't have had them, or give them to someome who would take care of them.

Call Child Services ASAP!!!

Amber - posted on 04/05/2009

Call the DCFS or CPS hotline...its in the pohone book. I had to call on my cousin because she had kids going into kindergarten that she hadn't even STARTED potty training. Her daughter(16) smelled so bad she hadn't taken a shower in at least a month. Her house had rotten food on the floor. You need to call right away.

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2009

oh and also DCF or CPS whatever the acronym in your area is....they have different standards than alot of us. The house may not be clean but they often give the mother, caregiver, whoever a list of things to fix and if they do then DCF backs off because they are so busy. that doesnt make me or anyone else feel better though.

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2009

if she is already in the system sooner or later so much will add up and something will happen. Just tell their father to keep fighting and going to court to file petitions for custody.

Randi - posted on 04/04/2009

As far as I know nothing has been done. Im so disgusted in CPS. If they are here to help then why don't they help I believe this is a serious situation and well nothing still is gettng done. It is sadning. I have no faith in the justice system.

Jessica - posted on 04/04/2009

Asking the Question is the first step, you feel for the kids and your judgment (we don't always trust our gut). But heres the thing, have an outsider watch this "moms" bad behavior.

When all is said and done you'll know or have confirmation that its not that big a deal and move on from there.

SIDENOTE: Already had CPS called and she still has them? WTH? Maybe a new call and more details or a new case worker will do the trick.

I watched a mother w three kids let the milk from a bottle sour under her 3 mn olds chins! Not brush the hair or wash the face of her 3yr old and let the 2 yr old sit in a dirty diaper until I gave her one of my sons. I asked a friend from outside the situation to take a look and wala we had to do what we thought was right.   

Rebecca - posted on 04/03/2009

You need to call those poor kids could get hurt. A 13 yr old should not be left to play 'house' while the mother sits on her but all day. They will never no who called it is strictly confidential and child services CAN NOT give the name of the person who turn them in.

Jamie - posted on 04/03/2009

Call!!!

Jocelyn - posted on 04/02/2009

I think you did the right thing by calling.  In my opinion, you can never be too careful, if you think there is neglect, and there's not, no harm done.  If there IS neglect and you did nothing, then those children are the ones being harmed.

Amber - posted on 04/02/2009

Although I think that is completly selfish of the mother to do this, I dont think its necessarily appropriate to contact child services, now if theres abuse, drugs, etc taking place then maybe.  A 13 year old is capable of taking care of their siblings to a certain extent, but if they were all under 10 then definetly I would consider.  My question is how old are your children and how would you know if she is on fb all day if your not also and would you want child services called on you?

Emily - posted on 04/02/2009

Also if the same house receives lots of calls it is more likely to be taken seriously. Unfortunately we have a problem with false reports lately, but they all must be investegated regardless.

Kate CP - posted on 04/02/2009

If you're worried about the kids, then call CPS. What state do you live in? Some states have different requirements to remove children from the home. If you can, maybe you could offer the state your home to keep the kids until something more permanent can be arranged?

Emily - posted on 04/02/2009

I'm a CPS investegator. I think you should call. Unfortunately our state regs require we 'provide reasonable' efforts in keeping the family together or reunitng the family in case of removal. All cases must first be assessed by an investegator. The will either be closed without substantiated or subject to further investegation. If the case is found to be substantiated I will transfer (well, the court and dept) will transfer it to a foster care worker;. Sometimes DSS will assume custody while allowing the children to be kept in the parents' home, sometimes a relative will assume placement. Since it is difficult to prove that the basic standard of care (which is almot too low of a threshold in my humble opinion) is not being met children are often left in bad situations. If a case is opened the first goal will be to provide the services needed to make it easier for the mother to adequately parent including mental health services, parenting classes etc...If you think the family could benefit from these services or for a moment that the children would be better off in another home should it come to that please make the call

Stephanie - posted on 04/02/2009

Hey

yah its your responsiblity tocall if you feel the kids are in danger.... I'm a social worker and I know how sad this stuff is! It's sounds like your ex sis in law is depressed also. he longer these children are exposed to their mother who doesn't care about her herself the more the children will think its ok to treat themselves like crap. It's so sad how things can get! Your neices and nephews need your support!!!!

Brittany - posted on 04/02/2009

Quoting Randi:

The unfortunate part is that Child Services have been called on her numerous times and she still has them. It really sucks! Those kids deserve to be happy and in a safe and healthy environment. The mom is 30 yrs old or a lil older can't quite remember.

Yes, but you have to remember that although it might not be the best life, it's up to CPS to decide if it's worth taking them out of their home, then they could be separated and end up in foster care... especially the 13 yr old. My fiance was taken out of his home when he was 12 (his mom was on drugs) he hates CPS now because he ended up with horrible foster parents who adopted him and mistreated him. They took him because they wanted his 2 yr old brother to raise as their own and he came with the package.

While I have confidence in CPS and I do not worry about them because I will not do drugs and I will take care of my children, my fiance is scared that they will take your children for no reason.

Brittany - posted on 04/02/2009

Quoting Randi:

Thank you. I already did but I feel horrible cause she is my ex sis in law. She is going to know it was me and she is going to cause alot of problems with me.

How will she know it was you?

Brittany - posted on 04/02/2009

what's FB? and how old are the other 2 children? I guess it would be best for you to report it for CPS to check out. You reporting it will not mean that the kids are taken away. It will mean that CPS will check it out and do what they feel needs to be done.

Alison - posted on 04/02/2009

Quoting Kristi:

I agree, call and call again.  I used to do home visiting, and I always used the motto, "when it doubt, call".  If you think it is neglect, it is most likely neglect.  But the beauty of it is that you don't have to make that call, Children's Services does.  All you have to do is make the actual call to them.  Also, when you call, tell them everything.  Don't leave out any details.  DCS can be frustrating at times, especially the call centers.  Sometimes you may feel like 2nd guessing yourself during the call, but don't.  You know what you have seen and stick to it.  I have seen bed-wetting w/ children even in their early teens b/c their parents were on drugs and they were shipped from house to house.  How does the mom react to the bedwetting.  Does she get mad? ignore it? clean it up at all? You may need to talk to a guidance counselor at their school and request that a home visit be made.  Often times a referral from a school or other agency will get Children's Services moving.  Good Luck!

DCS is beyong frustrating...even from an educators perspective!  I taught at an underpriveledged school and one of my 1st grade students suffered with parents who were meth-addicts, and one day he came to school with a huge hole in his cheek and told me his 2 year old cousin shot him in the face with a BB gun.  The poor child was having some major behavior / emotional issues...I must have called DCS a hundred times during the school year and to my knowledge they never followed up on anything.  BUT...all you can do is try and stick with it.

Joanne - posted on 04/02/2009

I was recently in the same boat as you. I reasoned it out to I was doing it to get the mother help, not to get the children taken away.  I didn't do it out of spit or hatred.  I did it out of concern for the mother and children.  I figured as long as I did it for the right reason then Idid the right thing. 

Sara - posted on 04/02/2009

It is your responsibility to call if you feel a child is being abused or neglected, and you can do it anonymously if that's more comfortable for you. There is no harm in a CPS investigator coming to house and checking things out. It may or may not result in the removal of the children, but it should be a wake up call for this woman one way or another. Think of those poor kids, do it for them!

Kristi - posted on 04/02/2009

I agree, call and call again.  I used to do home visiting, and I always used the motto, "when it doubt, call".  If you think it is neglect, it is most likely neglect.  But the beauty of it is that you don't have to make that call, Children's Services does.  All you have to do is make the actual call to them.  Also, when you call, tell them everything.  Don't leave out any details.  DCS can be frustrating at times, especially the call centers.  Sometimes you may feel like 2nd guessing yourself during the call, but don't.  You know what you have seen and stick to it.  I have seen bed-wetting w/ children even in their early teens b/c their parents were on drugs and they were shipped from house to house.  How does the mom react to the bedwetting.  Does she get mad? ignore it? clean it up at all? You may need to talk to a guidance counselor at their school and request that a home visit be made.  Often times a referral from a school or other agency will get Children's Services moving.  Good Luck!

Melissa - posted on 04/01/2009

Call and call again! CPS needs to know and be reminded on a regular basis the neglect happening in that household.

Claire - posted on 04/01/2009

If you dont speak up for them maby no one ever will. 

Brittney - posted on 04/01/2009

I would definately call for the children's sake. You can call it in, and be annomyous(spelling?) who cares if she knows anyways, you'd be doing the right thing, Good luck, I will be praying for those children and hopefully they will give them to their father.

Randi - posted on 04/01/2009

I hope he does. I lived with her I just moved out of her house caues me and my kids were disgusted with the way the house was. My kids were complaining about the whole house smelling like pee and that there is garbage all over the floor. I tried to keep it clean but the kids didn't care. I moved in with her cause I had to move back down to where Im from cause of the resestion of where I was living. She was the only person that had the room. My kids were so disgusted and so stressed out. I still don't have a place of my own but where we are they are very happy. :)

Amie - posted on 04/01/2009

Oh wow.... =( I'll say a prayer and cross my fingers for your family that hopefully this time something is done. I don't doubt that your right and the bedwetting is a mental condition. Kids under stress will do things like that and the 13 yr old not being in school? What's this woman thinking? =( Some people just don't deserve to be parents. If they do get taken this time though I know here they try to place the kids with family, maybe then their dad can get them and keep them.

Randi - posted on 04/01/2009

It is very sad cause these are my neices and nephew. There Dad is an amazing father and he has tried fighting but they won't give them to him. It is so dissappointing. She had a visit by them last month about her daughter not going to school (she is the 13yr old) also that her 13 yr old watches her kids while she works. They told her that she has to change that or she will have them gone. She hasn't done any of it so far. The kids even have problems with peeing there beds and they are 8 and 7 and she won't go get them checked to see if it is a medical condition. I personally think it is a mental condition cause of there lives. My poor lil guys are going to be messed up if someone doesn't help these kids. :(

Amie - posted on 04/01/2009

That is unfortunate. I don't understand how she still has the kids. I've had to call on someone before and their kids were taken because of the state of her home. Some fall through the cracks I guess but it's still sad.

Randi - posted on 04/01/2009

The unfortunate part is that Child Services have been called on her numerous times and she still has them. It really sucks! Those kids deserve to be happy and in a safe and healthy environment. The mom is 30 yrs old or a lil older can't quite remember.

Amie - posted on 04/01/2009

I'd call. You can do so and you remain anonymous.. meaning they're not going to tell the mom who called on her. So if your worried about any backlash from her don't be. Those kids deserve better and that is no life for a 13 yr old.

Randi - posted on 04/01/2009

Thank you. I already did but I feel horrible cause she is my ex sis in law. She is going to know it was me and she is going to cause alot of problems with me.

Lisa - posted on 04/01/2009

You need to call FOR THE CHILDREN! 13 and taking care of two younger ones is BS, and I don't know how old the mom is, but she should know better! Good Luck!