Which is better natural birth or c section?

Candace - posted on 12/30/2011 ( 114 moms have responded )

758

15

103

My son was born via emergency c-section due to me having Eclampisa. I was a little disappointed that I was able to experience labor or have a natural birth. Every chance my mother in law gets she tells me how I didn't really "give birth" to my son and how easy I had it since I didn't get to experience labor and the delivery part and how I had it better because I had a c section and how many women would prefer the c section over a vaginal birth. My question is do you ladies prefer a normal vaginal birth or c section?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

NEVER let anyone tell you you didn't birth your child, you did, Your mil sounds like an insensitive jerk tbh, she should be supporting you and helping you not putting you down. If you hadn't had the emergency c-sec the outcome could have been drastically different, eclampsia is not something to be messed around with, I was pre eclampsic and they were concerned about me so to be fully eclampsic needs immediate attention.



In a situation where everything is ideal a vaginal birth is the best thing but realistically life isn't perfect, we all have things that get in the way of our perfect situations (I had to have both my kids early because of my pre eclampsia, ideally I'd have loved to have gone into labour naturally but for me that's not how it is, I have to be induced early).



Bear in mind as well that c-sections are much harder than vaginal births when everything goes to plan because you have major healing time after (I have friends who 10 months after still complain about pain at the incision site etc), whereas everyone I know who gave birth vaginally has had no problems. Please don't let your mil make you feel bad you did the right thing for you and your child, always remember that!

Amanda - posted on 12/30/2011

25

14

4

Well, I would prefer a normal vaginal birth myself, but luckily all four of my kids were born without complications. I would have traded any one, or all, of those vaginal births if it had for even a second meant that one of them was in danger or would be born healthier. Would your mother in law prefer that you endanger your baby or your own life by refusing the C section and insisting on struggling through a vaginal birth? Would that make you a better mother? Grrrr...what difference does it make how your baby entered this world? She got a perfect healthy grandbaby and that should be all that matters to her. Grrrrr...I'm sorry, but that just chaps my ...well, it makes me mad. You did what your doctor felt was safest for you and your baby, what gives her the right to hold it against you. Sounds to me like she's just a little bit jealous. (Besides that, does she take in to consideration how much harder it was, and how much longer it took, for you to recover from your "easy" birth? That is major surgery, takes longer to healm and I would imagine a greater risk of infection. Easy?!!!...pshhhh!)
OK, I am going to shut up now. Ignore her and enjoy your baby!

Bernadette - posted on 01/15/2012

623

5

7

BIRTH:

Noun.

Definition:

1. an act or instance of being born: the day of his birth.

2. the act or process of bearing or bringing forth offspring; childbirth; parturition: a difficult birth.



Nowhere does it say that giving birth means pushing the baby out between your legs.



Now ask your MIL this: If birth is the act or instance of being born, but your child's birth doesn't actually qualify as you having 'given birth', does that mean your child was never born?

Denikka - posted on 12/30/2011

2,160

5

748

C-sections are WAY harder to recover from. It's major abdominal surgery. Recovery time is something like 6 weeks. I still have NO clue why ANYONE would opt for an election cesarean. Crazy in my mind.

Both of mine were born vaginally with little medication (morphine and laughing gas with my first, just gas with my second). I was lucky enough to have text book perfect births in very little time (just under 5 hours with my first, just under 4 with my second). I know that most mothers are not as lucky as I am.
So if we're going with getting the *easy way out* means that you didn't really *give birth* I guess I didn't give birth either XD I KNOW I had it WAAAAAAAAAY easier than most moms, natural or c-section XD
In my case, I would ALWAYS choose a natural birth over a c-section, excluding of course a medical emergency. But one of the first things that me and my midwife talked about during my last pregnancy was that a c-section was to be a LAST RESORT ONLY!! Everything else must be tried first.

Taku - posted on 01/03/2012

21

20

0

Neither is better over the other. You had to have a c-section for safety reasons. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don't listen to your mother in law. I had a natural birth drug free and its quite the experience especially with difficulties, but c-section has its own difficulties in its own way in recovery. I think mothers who've experienced natural drug free birth reach the highest pain threshold in delivering a child. It tests you mentally, emotionally and physically. But c-section have it hard recovery wise in numbers as oppose to natural birth. I always think yeah i felt extreme pain to the point where i just wanted to die(i was also thinking i should of had an epidural, damnit!!!) but I'd rather do that again then c-section and suffer the long recovery. Each to their own, no one mother is better then the other. We're all super awesome women!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

114 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

I'm all for getting the baby out. Some of us had the pain of childbirth before our babies were in our arms and some of us have it after they are out (pain from c-section).

Tah - posted on 01/17/2012

7,412

22

356

okay..i prefer whatever gets your baby here and keeps you here to see them..i had 2 vaginal deliveries and one via emergency c-section because his heart rate dropped to the 40s and i have never, until on COM known of women who think that way or have people actually make those comments to them...ask your MIL how easy she thinks caring for a baby with staples all across your stomach is,forget making a bottle, or changing a pamper, coughing was the bain of my existence..but no one is better than the other..if the child is here, what is the darn difference...



http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

Candice - posted on 01/17/2012

2

3

0

Each woman are different. I've got 4 kids. The first 2 were vaginal birth and my last 2 were c-sections, and they were both not by choice. After experiencing both, I would gladly take vaginal. The pain your body goes through with vaginal is gone as soon as baby is here, c-sections, the pain and discomfort is there for weeks.



As for your mil making that kind of statement, she had no right! She didn't give birth to you! You and your baby don't need that negative energy around you, and you should tell your husband to pass that message on to her.

If you're stressed, your baby can feel it too!

Candice - posted on 01/17/2012

2

3

0

Hi Candace, I'm Candice too. I'm now 32 yrs with 4 kids, my eldest being 11yrs and the youngest turning 4 yrs in feb.

With my first two children I had natural births, my sons labour was 21 hours long with an additional 2 hours of pushing. That was the first hardest of moment experience with natural births, and it didn't matter if I was fully on drugs too, that crap hurt..

.ALOT!!! As for my second, that was 4 hours of labour and the longest and definetly the hardest 3 minutes of drug free pushing I have ever encountered. In saying with everything I've just said, once you've gone through that pain of a natural child birth, you are back on your feet in 3 days. My third child was an emergency c-section because she was going into fetal stress, no local for me, egger had to knock me out, I was so groggy when I came to that I could hardly feed her properly, and it took me longer than the planned 6 weeks to get me working around the block again, and because I've my poor medical history and my 3rd baby being an emergency c-section, my 4th child became my last. Under the recommendation from my doctors, she had to be born via a c-section because a natural birth would kill me so well as carrying another child, she was cut out, and I was tired up.



So I've had the pleasure of experiencing both deliveries, and if the circumstances were different with the final 2, I would love to have them naturally, ceasers take a huge physical toll on your body and makes your once flat stomach, not so flat anymore (lol vainety speaking). If you are ever giving the opportunity to have a natural, then go for it.



There is no such thing as not "really giving birth", your MIL shouldn't be comparing you to other woman about child birth. Having an emergency c-section is NOT an easy thing to go through. Your mental capacity is reaching boiling point, and all that is going through your head is if your baby is going to be fine, she should've been happy and grateful that you BOTH are here, happy and healthy (again).



Finally the answer you've been waiting for, or my opinion is this: Don't worry about what other woman prefer, each are different and handle either one differently to the next. When or if you plan to have another child, speak with your doctor about your options and if having a natural birth can become a priority, if their answer limits you, think of what's best for you in the long run: ie health wise, and what is best for the new baby and your other child/ren.

Having a natural birth is an experience, and if you can't experience it, it's nothing to concern yourself over. You don't need that unnecessary stress.

Tina - posted on 01/16/2012

1,314

28

301

The fact is child birth is dangerous and if it wasn't for intervention in alot of cases mothers and babies would die. I personally would prefer a natural birth but it just wasn't possible for me.

Sherrie-ann - posted on 01/16/2012

17

14

1

Like the nurse told me just before my delivery, you will have your pain now (natural) or later (c-section) but either way you'll have pain.

Momof1 - posted on 01/16/2012

528

0

15

If you are having a healthy pregnancy, vaginal is better. Less risk for complications. I would never ever prefer having a c section over vaginal (unless of course in case of an emergency.) You may not have experienced labor, but you had an emergency c section, emergency surgery, so you went through a hell of a lot more then most women who have vaginal births go through. My labor was 12 hours 55 minutes, 38 minutes of pushing, I didn't take any pain medications, I had no IV and I was able to eat while in labor. That was my experience.

Reta - posted on 01/16/2012

11

0

0

Wow that's pretty harsh. I guess if you never really gave birth there was never really a baby brought into the world. You should tell her that if she really doesn't have anything positive to say to you, she should stop playing with an imaginary baby. You did the hardest thing of all. You had to recover from major surgery AND have a new baby around!!! I know pretty much everyone has said it but healthy happy baby and mommy are the most important thing and never forget to surround yourself with positive feelings and people. When people can't respect you and what you want you need to tell them to get on the boat or make themselves sparce. Doesn't matter who it is, surround yourself with the karma you want to brought back to you. I had a natural birth and am planning another for my current baby however if for any speck of a moment my doctor told me that that child may have been at risk my whole focus would have changed. It's a matter of opinion and nothing when it comes to birthing is easy!!

Raina - posted on 01/15/2012

62

38

5

I had to have an emergency c-section with my first baby, and with my second I opted to travel 2 hours from home to a doctor that would let me attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and to my ever lasting joy I am SO glad that I made that decision. After my c-section it took almost a month before I felt comfortable enough to walk around the block by myself, but after my vaginal delivery I was up and walking around (a little sore) hours later. After the first 2 or 3 days all discomfort was gone and I did not feel to drugged up to take care of the baby. I deliver vaginally 100X's over if my husband would let me :)

[deleted account]

Next time your MIL raises this issue, tell her that once she has a c-section herself, she is then in a position to tell you how "easy" it is. Otherwise, she should shut the f@$! up.



I find the fact that she didn't think you were "really that sick" outrageous. Yeah -- I'm sure your OB delivered you at 33 weeks for kicks and giggles. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that you would most likely have DIED if you continued that pregnancy.

Joy - posted on 01/15/2012

77

3

3

Honestly, tell your mother in law to stuff it. You carried that child for 9 months and had to have an EMERGENCY c-section. Which is still giving birth. And it is a lot harder to recover from a c section than a natural delivery. When I had my second son, they told me that I might need to have a c-section because I was not progressing after about 24 hrs. I was terrified. I know what happens. It scared the hell out of me. Thank God, I didn't have to, my body did what it was supposed to finally, but if they had said, lets go time for surgery, I would have done what was best for the baby. You had to do what you had to do. If my mother in law were that way, I would tell her to go eat one. But I am just like that.

Ann-Marie - posted on 01/15/2012

3

41

0

I had a c-section for my first n a natural delivery for my second n natural was good to experience but I was in a bit of pain for bout 2 months as my baby girl was 8pd 7oz n 36 hours in labour. N didn't really like either.. N my c-section was an emergency n had a 4pd 11oz baby n 4 weeks early bcoz of pre eclamsia.. So for me both weren't so good..

Amohia - posted on 01/14/2012

4

4

0

WOW!!! What a nasty thing to say, I had natural births for both my children, It took me a long time to recovery from my first baby longer than 6 weeks. Take no notice of your MIL she has no idea, shes just stuck in her own ways, silly woman.

Edna - posted on 01/14/2012

84

39

4

I've had both first one an emergancy baby was in trouble and second normal delivery, and neither is better than the other if you had a c section it's because you needed it and did what was right for you and your baby. I didn't find either easier than the other as both come with different things to deal with after.

Keiyana - posted on 01/14/2012

1

0

0

I too had an emergency c-section with my first son and did a VBAC with my 2nd son who was stillborn then another c-section with my 3rd son. Yeah natural is much easier on the body but c-section can be quicker. I would have much preferred to do natural with all 3 but it just wasnt in the cards for me. I agree with everyone else that your MIL is out of order to try and belittle your sons birth and his means of arrival. Birth is birth. People who have not experienced one or the other can not realistically comment on something that did not go through. Personally I cannot stand women who are on a high horse because they delivered vaginally. giving life is giving life and you shouldnt apologize or feel less than because you had a c-section. I hope you dont punish yourself because of someone elses idiotic views.

Jennifer - posted on 01/13/2012

4

28

0

Your mother in law is ignorant, and mean. I am sorry :( Whatever method you are comfortable with is what you should do. Who cares what other stupid people are going to say about it. I had to have a c-section because my son was turned the wrong way and would not come out vaginally. Do I think I am less of a mother somehow? Hell no. I went through just as much pain and discomfort(mentally and physically)as any mother having vaginal birth. If anything you go through more, as the recovery takes alot longer.

Belinda - posted on 01/13/2012

8

5

0

She has no right telling you that. Birth is birth and you had a serious condition and you needed to keep yourself and the baby safe. When you have a c-section you need extra time to heal! Everyone is different but c-sections are a serious surgery and it needs extra care to recover. I had vaginal births for both my girls but I had no complications. I would never just do a c-section for no reason. Your baby comes out when he/she is ready! but if there are complications you need to do what you need to do! Don't let her put you down!

Tina - posted on 01/12/2012

1,314

28

301

@Sapna it's really nice when people put try to picture themselves in anothers shoes. You don't see much of that anymore.. Thanks.



Every birth is different. Every c section is different some recover quicker than others but the important thing is that mum and baby are safe and healthy. I still had a story to tell. It was a different birth experience and not one I expected. But it is still a birth.

Sapna - posted on 01/12/2012

24

31

0

Come-on dear birth is a birth whether its c-section or natural...its your baby and u gave birth, i had a normal delivery but I respect c-section more than normal..coz normal u have pain for say one day and in c-section for 6 to 8 weeks in your stitches..I had few stitches in my feet due to an injury and it hurt like hell, and I can realise how u would have felt it on ur tummy...Normal is good but C-section is even harder,,,and i dont discriminate..whether c-section or normal...u should have a normal heathy baby at the end of the day, pls tell ur mother-in-law not to compare ur delivery to others coz every baby is different and so does the birth

Diann - posted on 01/12/2012

12

7

2

I would not wish my c-section on anyone! My mil has done that song and dance too.

I would rather have the pain for a few hours to a day rather then the 8 week recovery and permanent nerve damage!

Shemika - posted on 01/12/2012

27

24

0

i have had 1 natural birth and 2 c-sections they are all equally rewarding birth experiences, sometimes we have to just ignore old school thinking.

Brittany - posted on 01/12/2012

4

6

1

you are just as much a woman as a woman who gave natural birth! I had no choice either because my daughter wasn't coming out down there! my mom had 4 c-sections, and so did my sister and let me tell your monster in law, that she's a piece of work to say something as ignorant as that to you. a C-section is harder on the body than a natural birth if you don't have complications with it. First of all you get CUT OPEN and GLUED back together and have to be on pain killers and no heavy lifting for weeks! Kudos for you having a c section and tell your MIL to kiss it.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/12/2012

953

1

18

@Mandie, thanks for the encouragement :) I had to have a c-section and although I was so scared (because it is major surgery) I was more excited to meet my miracle. I remember being wheeled into the operating room and my doctor standing there to greet me. I looked him dead in the eye and told him I didn't care how he did it but he had to get my baby out safe. I didn't care if he went through my ears. I said "baby comes first...then me". I am glad to say that everyone is healthy and happy :) I was walking around the next day and I was only sore for about 5 days :)

Raquel - posted on 01/12/2012

12

33

0

Candace, I had this same question when I was pregnant withmy last son who is now 4 months old. My first chid who is 4 years old was delivered through a c-section. The doctors said after the c-section I had a 70% chance of having a normal delivery if I had a 2nd child. When I got pregnant with my second child I was so scared of a normal delivery. I knew what to expect from the c-section and was more comfortable with that. I really didn't know what to expect. It was like when I was pregnant with my first child and delivery date came nearer I was scared because I did not know how painful it would be. I went online and read blogs on c-section vs. natural birth. Nothing really made me felt better. Everyone was saying natural birth was better but I was still afraid and was hoping that people would say that c-section was better.



Well the time came to give birth to my 2nd child and I was still hoping for a c-section but I did not get it. I had to deliver natural. And now when I think back on it....IT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!! When I saw that little boy come out of me it was so amazing. I never saw anything like that. That moment I did not have with my first child. I'm typing this up right now and I have such a big smile on my face. I see it like it was yesterday. Having a c-section is ok but it can never compare with natural birth. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THAT EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!

Natalie - posted on 01/11/2012

85

37

7

Don't let your mother in law or anyone else tell you that you didn't really give birth. C-sections have been around for hundreds of years, and being that yours was an emergency makes it even more of an insult that she would say this to you. Some people can be unknowingly insensitive, and you may have to let her know that it's hurting your feelings and for her to please stop. As a mother who has had 4 c-sections (after the second I was forced to have c-sections afterwards) and 2 vaginal deliveries, I personally rather have a C-section. I went with no pain meds with my first, and very minimal drugs with my second. But I have a tilted uterus and my baby's get stuck and an emergency c-section is less traumatic for me and the baby than pushing for 2 hours and the baby get stuck. Cherish your memories of your delivery, and enjoy being a new mommy! God bless! :)

Brittney - posted on 01/11/2012

26

1

1

I had a c section because i cracked my tailbone and my pelvis was way to small i am having another one here in 4 weeks. i wanted to have my son naturally but wasn't able to i was upset but my thought was whatever is safe for him. My mom told me the same thing that i didn't "GIVE" birth to him i just had him cut out of me but yet i was in pain and recovery for 6 weeks. but as long as your child is healthy that is what is best which ever happens C section or Vaginal.

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

953

1

18

Toni, fair enough. Perhaps I'm a bit sensitive about the whole "natural" and "unnatural" thing. I've just gotten a lot of negative comments from family and friends when I've told them about the c-section. I'll take note about your punctuation in the future lol. Night night :)

[deleted account]

:-) I'm not upset I just like punctuation and emphasis, I'm too lazy to do the italics thing so I capitalise words I'd emphasise in speech. When I said upsetting you I wa referring to your first post which stated you don't like it when people describe vaginal birth as normal or natural, I don't understand why you find that even slightly offensive because it's just a fact, on it's own it's not derogatory or nasty. You sound positive about your c-section so that makes your disliking more muddled, I could understand if you said you'd felt short changed with a c-section or that you'd missed out somehow (and as far as I'm concerned it's raising the children that makes a mother not birthing them). Oh and I'm not upset (I can't remember if I said that already, it's late here I'm going to bed now), I just type as I would talk, I forget people can't hear my tone or see my facial expressions :-)

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

953

1

18

I was not getting defensive at all Toni. I was merely stating facts...just as you are. I'm not sure what part of my response suggested that I was upset, however, if I am solely going on punctuation, I would say you were the upset one. :) I am merely having a conversation.

[deleted account]

Wow way to get defensive....and yes whilst the babies were smaller so were the women and more women died during childbirth as well....vaginal birth is the natural and normal way to give birth BUT sometimes nature needs a hand, an intervention if you like, that is where the unnatural procedure of cutting a woman open occurs. That doesn't make c-section a negative thing, it is brilliant when needed, I would be dead if it weren't for c-sections (and the unnatural help of nicu) as I was born at 32 weeks via emergency c-section. I even understand about giving birth with raised bp...I had pre eclampsia and although I did have two vaginal births both were induced so even though I used no pain medication for my second one it wasn't a natural birth, if left to nature things may have been very different...I don't understand why facts are upsetting you so much it is a FACT that c-section isn't natural, that doesn't mean it wasn't needed!

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

953

1

18

Back in the 1900s babies were a lot smaller...pushing a 10 lb baby out of an opening the size of a lemon all while having increased blood pressure and risking going into cardiac arrest or having a stroke does not seem normal or natural at all to me. Having said that, I wouldn't care if the doctor took the baby out of my nose. I just want 10 fingers and 10 toes

[deleted account]

A drug free vaginal birth is natural though jackie, that isn't meant to be derogatory to anyone who had their baby any other way, but it is the natural way. It isn't natural to give birth to a baby by being cut open...but a c-section in no way means a woman didn't give birth to the baby, she still carried that baby and deals with pain (just post natal pain).



Also statistically A c-section isn't normal, a vaginal birth is, so again referring to a vaginal birth as normal shouldn't be derogatory to women who had a c-section!

**Jackie** - posted on 01/11/2012

953

1

18

I had my baby via c-section and it was great. I had absolutely no complications and I was walking around the next day. I will admit that I needed help getting in and out of bed but luckily my husband was right there. I was only sore for about 5 days. I would not mind a c-section at all for the next munchkin! I can't say anything good or bad about a vaginal birth but I don't like when people say "natural" or "normal" when speaking about a vaginal birth. I am in more way shape or form any less of a mother for having my baby come out of a different area of my body. I am 100% all for whatever gets the baby out safe. :)

Marie - posted on 01/11/2012

120

36

2

the birth of a healthy baby is the best choice! you gave birth to your son the way you had to! i can't imagine a c section being easy at all!!

Bernadette - posted on 01/11/2012

623

5

7

Julie A, well said!



I really don't understand how many people seem to think that a c-section is a walk in the park. I mean really, if you said that you were going to hospital for major abdominal surgery for any other reason, people would be concerned about you! "What, you need to have major surgery??? I hope everything is ok, oh no I really hope it all goes well and you have a speedy recovery and there are no complications!" etcetera etcetera. But if it's just to get your baby out? Pfffttttt, walk in the park! Hello, it is still MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. Not fun for anyone!

Toni - posted on 01/10/2012

26

12

1

I just had a vbac 6 days ago and am so glad I did! My last birth was csection, I went all the way to pushing and he was stuck so it had to be done. The baby was great but I did feel disappointed but I still gave birth and it is alot worse than vaginal birth. As for the mother in law - excuse language- but she should just piss off, is she not happy that her grandchild is safe. U could have had alot diff circumstances. It was your birth. I would NEVER opt for a csection and I think the ladies that say they would are abit silly. Major surgery or a few stitches. Enjoy your baby being with you and forget about the birth, it was the means to an ends. Good luck :)

Ashley - posted on 01/10/2012

40

13

0

As a mom who has had both i would definetly say barring no major complications go with a natural. my first was csection (not by choice) and for a while i felt like i had been jipt out my natural birth experience that i wanted for me and my son. but you can't change the past so i let it go and with my other son, though he can 4 weeks early i was able to have him vaginally. for me the difference was huge. i was up and around within about 30 minutes after birth and it was just such a more better experience. besides all the risks of a csection theres the recover afterwards. with natural birth theres none of that. so personally the next one i have will be natural again (barring no complications). i think once a woman is fully educated on her choices and the risks involved she shouldn't regret it afterwards. your doing whay you think is best for you and your baby and you have to be happy with that.

Brittany - posted on 01/10/2012

113

30

6

I had a vaginal birth and it wasnt that bad, now I am pregnant again and my doctor just informed me I may have to have a c section because of my cervix and I am really scared I have a almost 3 year old with special needs and really dont need to have a surgery. I think C sections would be harder then vaginal births because with the c sec you are cut open and women have been having vaginal biths forever so how is that harder.

Rachel - posted on 01/10/2012

1

0

0

all 3 of my children were born as a c section and i still see it as giving birth, it does take alot longer to heal but i was not caring as long as my children were here save. just ignore your mother in law everyone who has had a section knows thats its not a easy way of giving birth.

Erma - posted on 01/10/2012

2

0

1

i had a vaginal birth and it was great. dont worry about what you mother in law says ok. you still brought a baby in to this world it doesn't matter how it came in to this world it is here, and it is healthly right. so tell your mother in law to leave you alone and that the baby is there.

Julie - posted on 01/10/2012

126

21

7

My blood is boiling for you, hun. To pooh-pooh a life threatening complication like eclampsia, and then try to denigrate your birth experience which you had NO CONTROL over... Here's how I see the next conversation going:

MIL: Pff you had it easy, getting a C section
You: Really? Have you ever had one?
MIL: No, but-
You: AND have you ever gone into full tonic-clonic seizures and multiple organ failure WHILST heavily pregnant?
MIL: Well I don't believe it was that serious.
You: I see. Are you a doctor?
MIL: Well, I-
You: So really, you know two things about C-sections and eclampsia. Jack and Shit, and Jack left town.

MIL: I didn't hear about this because nobody called me.
Your Hubby: My cell call log says differently, as does my memory.
MIL: Yeah, well-
Hubby: YEAH WELL STOP TALKING SHIT.

...In all seriousness, though, I think your hubby needs to talk to his mom and tell her to pull her head in. And if there is more pooh-poohing, send her to www.preeclampsia.org, tell her to go educate herself on the subject and if I were him, I'd suggest that if she wants a strong relationship with her grandson she had better treat his mother with more respect and to stop playing this childish game of oneupmanship. Best of luck to you and your family, congratulations on your son and I'm so glad to hear of the positive outcome with the eclampsia. It's scary as shit and takes awhile to get over the trauma (well, it did for me, anyhoo).

Bernadette - posted on 01/10/2012

623

5

7

Nicola, sounds much like me - my body just wouldn't allow me to give birth naturally either. I don't have any of the other problems, like endometriosis and no infections, but I just couldn't dilate either. My first, I got to 4 cm and that was also on the drip. I just couldn't go any further, and her heart rate suddenly dropped by half, and didn't come back up when the contraction ended so they rushed me off to surgery. With my son, I tried for natural again and this time, I didn't dilate AT ALL. By the time I was having the same severity of contractions I'd had with my daughter while being on the drip (this time, no drip) I hadn't even started to dilate. In fact, my cervix was only just starting to soften after having been in mild labour for two days, and intense labour for several hours. I also had what I thought was my waters breaking, but was actually a big gush of blood (don't know what caused that) so they advised that I go to surgery BEFORE the baby ended up distressed this time. I was in so much pain that I just went for it, they labour wasn't progressing and clearly wasn't going to so I just wanted it over and the baby out safely.

At the end of the day, that's really what it's all about - doing what you have to do to get that baby out safely. And anyone who has done that, whether naturally, or making the difficult decision to give up on a labour that isn't progressing and/or becoming dangerous and go for a c-section, has given birth. Being a mother is about doing what you have to do for the well-being of your child.

Jessica - posted on 01/09/2012

9

16

0

wow, she sounds like a real piece of work! I would politly retort that you carried your son for 9months and brought him into the world in the safest way possible considering your complications. If this doesn't work I would get your hubby to put her in her place when you aren't around. She has no right to judge! in answer to your question I would prefer to have a vaginal birth instead of a c section.

Janessa - posted on 01/09/2012

289

10

0

Hope and pray I never have a C-section, that's not very nice of her. I think both have their pros and cons, but recovery from what I hear is a lot worse with a C-section. I'm so glad I've been able to deliver vaginally (not naturally, I always take the epidural). : ) And always will. Anyway you have that baby is a sacrifice on your part and is wonderful of you. It doesn't matter how they come. You did good. : )

Daniele - posted on 01/09/2012

12

13

1

This is very offensive of your mother in law, to say to a mother that had c-section that she didn't really give birth, to " give birth" goes beyond the delevery method. You are a mother that had sleepless nights just like any other, thanks God for c-section, it saves lives of women who can't have natural birth for medical reasons every day. Don't let negative people bring you down. By the way: I'm not against natural birth, what I'm against is someone telling women that opt for or have to have c-section that they are less mother than who give birth naturally.

Destinie - posted on 01/09/2012

73

16

4

I perfer vaginal over c section. I have never had a c section. And that is rude of you mother in law to say sorry you have to go threw that.

Marcela - posted on 01/09/2012

14

8

0

It's ridiculous to say that a c-section is easier than a natural birth. I had to go through an emergency c-section with my first child after 24 hours of labor trying to have her normally. I went through all of the contractions & even pushing (without an epideral) until they rushed me for the c-section. It turned out that she was too large as she was born an 11 pounder. Anyway, the recuperation of a c-section is very painful and while other new mommies were walking out of the hospital all fresh and perky I was struggling to walk or even laugh without pain. If I could have chosen I would have chosen a natural birth because I think it's easier, but we can't always choose. To anyone out there wondering if they should choose a c-section I would say "You don't know what you're talking about". But it is a huge blessing to have that option when things don't go as planned. Any mother, whether they deliver naturally or by c-section "gave birth".

Doreen - posted on 01/09/2012

10

24

2

I did both. C-section with my first as she was breech and VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section), with my second. And there is no doubt the vaginal birth is better, but c-sections have their place for safety of the mother and the baby.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms