Which is better natural birth or c section?

Julianne - posted on 12/31/2011

I know exactly where your coming from! All the women in my family said that about my birth. How I'm not a "real woman" because i can't birth a child. I told them to go fuck themselves and it made me feel a lot better.
I never had a vaginal birth but im 22 weeks pregnant and planning on it this time. I think if you really want to try for a vaginal birth, do it. It will make for a good "haha in your face" moment :)

Teresa - posted on 12/31/2011

I don't know what a vaginal birth is like. I had a semi-emergency c-section w/ my twin girls and a scheduled c-section w/ my son (VBAC is not an option where I live). Your MIL is WRONG. You very much DID give birth to your son and the most important part of delivery is not vaginal vs. c-section. The most important part of delivery is a safe and healthy baby. The precise method on how they arrived is just specifics...

Kathy - posted on 12/31/2011

First of all, your mother-in-law is a stereotypical, critical airbag and do your best to not let her comments get to you. Make a joke to yourself or come up with a witty response.. perhaps along the lines of how you really do wish she could've had an easy "baby removal" like you, complete with preeclampsia and taking care of a newborn while mending a surgical wound in your belly. Make sure she knows that if you get pregnant with another one of her grandchildren, you'll be certain to ignore doctor's orders and keep that baby in until it's either "born" or you and the baby die from preeclampsia.

I only had vaginal birth, but had abrupted placenta, fetal distress, and needed an episiotomy (which docs aren't really supposed to do anymore EXCEPT in necessary circumstances). In reality, the preference is up to the individual as complications change everything. I prefer a vaginal birth only because I didn't have to handle a newborn alone while recovering from surgery as a friend did, but just be thankful the technology exists that allows a physician to recognize problems such as preeclampsia before it causes irreversible harm - even death - to a mother or her baby.

Kelina - posted on 12/31/2011

Any birth that gets baby out as safely as possible. In your case that was c-section, so your MIL can go stick her head in a vat of butter for all i'm concerned. i'm not an advocate of c-section, I really don't believe that they should be done at the rate that they are. I don't believe that the interventions done these days should be done at the rate that they are. However, I'm also not one to deny the fact that medical advances have saved many thousands of moms and babies and when used appropriately are an amazing thing. My SIL couldn't birth her daughter vaginally either and chances are she never will be able to. They couldn't figure out why baby wouldn't drop and instead of trying to figure out why, they just induced her. turns out baby's head was waaaaaaaay too big(like we're talking baby's head was so big, it looked like at least half her weight was centered there) Has your hubby talked to her about the unhelpful comments? That might help.

Kimberly - posted on 12/30/2011

I wanted a natural birth, tried to have one only to be meet with an emer c-section after 18hours. My daughter was stuck and her head ways swelling and there was no other option. My doctor told us ( afterwards) that this was the type of labour that would have killed either mother or child or both back in the day. I also cant have morphin or any other drug in that family so I wasnt given pain killers afterwards. Yes it hurt like hell but it saved my daughter. I know if we ever have another one I will have to have a c-section as natural child birth will not happen as my pelvis is too small. I think your mil should really keep her thoughts to herself as she has never had it done and doesnt know what she is talking about. You should be proud you have a beautiful lil boy who you did everything for to make sure he arrived safely, that in itself is being a great mom

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2011

Oh, and in response, I have never had a c-section, so I can't answer which is better, but I would go another natural birth any day. However, if that couldn't happen I'd challenge anyone who said anything to me like your MIL said to you.

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2011

Your MIL is a bitch. That is all.

Candace - posted on 12/30/2011

Thanks for all of your opinions ladies! In her eyes if something isn't happening to her than the person that it's happening to is basically making things seem worse than what they really are and that's really how she felt concerning the birth of my son. I'm black and my husband is white and she was against us being together from the start so she basically had nothing to do with us until after the baby was born and she fell in love with him. However she does still feel the need to say I wasn't really that sick and how she had to went through natural labor with no paid medication and my husband looked at her as if she did something no other woman has done until I informed him both of my sisters did the same and I was planning on trying it myself. To make a long story short I had two seizures at 33wks from my blood pressure being high. Even after baby was out my blood pressure would not come down and my kidneys had also begin to shut down. From what I was told things were pretty bad I have no memory of any of this so I have to go by what was told to me. Well she believes it was "exaggerated" just a bit and I wasn't really that sick. I didn't realize that my son was born until three days after and to this day have no memory of anything that happened the day he was born or the two days following. I was in the hospital for a week. I was up and walking three days after he was born as I was too sick to get out of bed any sooner. But once I was up I did fine. I was prescribed oxycodine but didn't take it because of the way it made me feel. Staples were removed a week later and after that I felt fine. I don't want and never wanted her sympathy but it feels bad when someone is always making comments on how you didn't actually give birth to your child and how you had it so easy. It wasn't my choice it was just something that happened and it's sad that she still brings this up. Our little one will be two in a few months and we're thinking of trying again and praying that we get to have the vaginal experience

Katherine - posted on 12/30/2011

it's true, it all depends on so much, i new going into have the baby i may or may not be able to have him naturally...he was 8lbs 12oz but i have small hips (mom had trouble delivering me at 5lbs 6oz.....) everything goes hand in hand....

that being said, our next when and if we have another will def be a section.....our recovery was great...and fast

Kaitlin - posted on 12/30/2011

First of all, shame on your MIL. That's total crap. Your body went through HELL for 9 (incredible) months and C sections are HARD on your body. What the crap does she know? C section recovery is (in general, unless you tear REALLY REALLY BAD) WAY worse and more painful than a regular childbirth. Punch her in the face. Grr she really fries my cheese. BAH!!
Ahem. Anyway. Physically, if you are in decent health, vaginal births are 'better' for your body because they are less invasive- our bodies were meant for this, after all. However, there are several reasons why a repeat C section may be a better option (including placenta placement, size of the child, size of your hips, possible scar tissue, etc). Talk to your OB- C sections are, in my opinion, too common these days, but they are also a very important procedure that save countless mothers and babies.
I have had two vaginal births- big babies too- but I have awesome hips ;).
I wouldn't (and didn't) want a c section if it could be avoided, especially because of the recovery time, and the fact that I have big kids and it would be difficult to lift the baby, and you can't lift your toddler. However, my 'birth plans' have always been, let's see what happens, i'm informed, I want a healthy baby, let's do this'. Good luck supermom!

Katherine - posted on 12/30/2011

I'm all for c-sections......they aren't for everyone but I LOVED mine!!!

I wanted the whole natural, no meds birth.....but baby was in distress and I had an emergency csection.

I took only a couple advil/tylenol, nothing else (was written a prescription for morphine.....handed it back saying i didn't need it.....i was looked at as though I was crazy). I was up and walking around within 5 hours after surgery, asking to have my catheter and IV removed....and was released early!!!

My friend had a vaginal,.....took her over 6 weeks to recover...and still a bit longer to get rid of all the pain

Toni - posted on 12/30/2011

NEVER let anyone tell you you didn't birth your child, you did, Your mil sounds like an insensitive jerk tbh, she should be supporting you and helping you not putting you down. If you hadn't had the emergency c-sec the outcome could have been drastically different, eclampsia is not something to be messed around with, I was pre eclampsic and they were concerned about me so to be fully eclampsic needs immediate attention.



In a situation where everything is ideal a vaginal birth is the best thing but realistically life isn't perfect, we all have things that get in the way of our perfect situations (I had to have both my kids early because of my pre eclampsia, ideally I'd have loved to have gone into labour naturally but for me that's not how it is, I have to be induced early).



Bear in mind as well that c-sections are much harder than vaginal births when everything goes to plan because you have major healing time after (I have friends who 10 months after still complain about pain at the incision site etc), whereas everyone I know who gave birth vaginally has had no problems. Please don't let your mil make you feel bad you did the right thing for you and your child, always remember that!

Denikka - posted on 12/30/2011

C-sections are WAY harder to recover from. It's major abdominal surgery. Recovery time is something like 6 weeks. I still have NO clue why ANYONE would opt for an election cesarean. Crazy in my mind.

Both of mine were born vaginally with little medication (morphine and laughing gas with my first, just gas with my second). I was lucky enough to have text book perfect births in very little time (just under 5 hours with my first, just under 4 with my second). I know that most mothers are not as lucky as I am.
So if we're going with getting the *easy way out* means that you didn't really *give birth* I guess I didn't give birth either XD I KNOW I had it WAAAAAAAAAY easier than most moms, natural or c-section XD
In my case, I would ALWAYS choose a natural birth over a c-section, excluding of course a medical emergency. But one of the first things that me and my midwife talked about during my last pregnancy was that a c-section was to be a LAST RESORT ONLY!! Everything else must be tried first.

Amanda - posted on 12/30/2011

Well, I would prefer a normal vaginal birth myself, but luckily all four of my kids were born without complications. I would have traded any one, or all, of those vaginal births if it had for even a second meant that one of them was in danger or would be born healthier. Would your mother in law prefer that you endanger your baby or your own life by refusing the C section and insisting on struggling through a vaginal birth? Would that make you a better mother? Grrrr...what difference does it make how your baby entered this world? She got a perfect healthy grandbaby and that should be all that matters to her. Grrrrr...I'm sorry, but that just chaps my ...well, it makes me mad. You did what your doctor felt was safest for you and your baby, what gives her the right to hold it against you. Sounds to me like she's just a little bit jealous. (Besides that, does she take in to consideration how much harder it was, and how much longer it took, for you to recover from your "easy" birth? That is major surgery, takes longer to healm and I would imagine a greater risk of infection. Easy?!!!...pshhhh!)
OK, I am going to shut up now. Ignore her and enjoy your baby!