why can't I get pregnant?!

Kymberly - posted on 08/31/2010 ( 90 moms have responded )

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My first child was born in Sept of 2009 and she's about to turn one. We decided to start trying to have number two in June and its just NOT working...Our first pregnancy wasn't planned so I'm not used to having to "try" to get pregnant. Does anyone have any idea's on how to help?! I really want another baby :D

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Jessica - posted on 09/09/2010

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Seriously, like everyone has already mentioned, two months is just not enough time to consider yourself having difficulties getting pregnant... I'm sure you know that, and are just super anxious! (I understand) BUT if you really really really want to try something, just to see if it works... I would suggest starting on Day 9, after your period, have sex every other day until about day 23. I SWEAR by this, and it has worked for both my kids, my sister for her's, and my cousin for her two. Let me know if it works haha :) Good luck, and noooo stress

Sara - posted on 09/09/2010

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DO NOT TRY!If you try the stress from tryin prevents you from concevieing.I tried with my 5th and it didnt work so I gave up and a month later found out we was havin pur 5th he is now 15 months.So stop tryin and just relax and enjoy life and it will happen gl

Astrid - posted on 09/09/2010

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Well, first you will need not to think about. I tried to have my first baby and it took us 2 years, to the point I said to myself, well, it's not going to happen.and then 2 weekslater, I was pregnant. Same thing with my second baby. You need to let it go and enjoy making love with your partners without this little voice saying : "I hope i'll get pregnant at the end".

Amanda - posted on 09/09/2010

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i had my first child o7 we started trying when she was 2 she is now 3 and we are finally pregnant it took almost a year but our doctor said that is really common but i think it helped that we stoped trying so hard forgot all the counting and just had fun again .just be paitient and have fun

Carol - posted on 09/09/2010

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For some women those who try and try nothing seems to happen because you tend to stress your body out, since your first pregnancy wasn't planned take it easy. If you stop trying you just might end up getting pregnant, but if you really want to get pregnant that bad then check into getting the kit that lets you know when you are ovulating and then use it according to the directions, you might even talk to your doctor about it too. Good luck in all your endeavors hope things get better for you.

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Becky - posted on 09/09/2010

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Patience is key. I had a friend that tried for a year before being able to get pregnant. The best thing you can do is relax, track your cycle so you know when you're ovulating, and if you keep it up for months and are still frustrated, talk to your doctor about fertility enhancement. There are pills you can take to make it more likely your egg will get fertilized when you're at that point in your cycle. And, obviously, don't scrimp on sex! :) Have it often and liberally. And enjoy it. :)

Katie - posted on 09/09/2010

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if you are breast feeding that could be why you are having trouble. just relax though. i was a nervous wreck bc i was trying for what felt like forever (16 months) and i just got mad and decided myself i couldn't get pregnant and to give up trying, when i gave up is when i got pregnant :)

Anna - posted on 09/09/2010

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If by any chance you might still be nursing that is a huge factor. Some woman, like 2 of my friends, didnt even get their 1st peiriod until a month after they stoped nursing. I got mine when my Eli was 8 months on the dot but missed the next one so I dont know if I am even ovulating yet. He is 9 1/2 months now. Also, as many woman have said here, the more you "TRY" the less likely you are to get pregnent when you want. Most of my friends that TRY end up being stressed and disapointed in not being able to concieve when they wanted to. It took me 2 weeks after my wedding to conceive my son. yet it took my aunt (who's wedding was exactely 1 month after mine) 3 months. In Russia, where I am from, it is said that it can greately depend on your age too. its harder to get pregnent after you hit 30. Proof: I was 21 and got prego 2 weeks into my marrage, and my aunt was 35ish or so and it did take her longer. Then there is a couple my husband and I are close friends with, and they have been married over 13 yrs and still cant get pregnent. everything they tried doesnt seem to work. by the way, they dont have anything wrong with their fertility. And they have tried implantation a few times and even that didnt seem to take. And my mother knows a couple that have been trying for 22 years and then miraculesly after 22 years they got pregnent and now have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old girl. So just dont stress it and give it ALL to the Lord!!!

Sharne - posted on 09/09/2010

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is really glad you asked this question, I am currently in the same situation. My daughter was not planned and now I am trying again its been about 7 months we have been trying for and yes it is getting very disheartening but after reading everyone's comments it seems to be the norm and i have a huge feeling of relief now. Thanks again and good luck

Gemma - posted on 09/09/2010

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try putin a pillow under ur bum after sex and wait 15 mins to give it a good try. dont be hard on urself in time it will happen good luck

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2010

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I hear ya...My hubby and I were told he could never have children,instant heartbreak....but after a year we found out we were prego but we didnt plan it or even think it was possible..now our lil miracle is growing in my tummy I have 5 mnts to go..anything is possible just give it time....

Danielle - posted on 09/08/2010

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Try trackign your cycle on Mymonthlycycles.com i got pregant with number 1 using it. It can help you calculate when youa re most likely yo get pregnant. usually start 10 days after the first day of your period to your 15th day . the 14th day being your most likely day. AND yes RELAX!!! if you are all stressed about it will not happen as easy. It can sometimes take a few months.

Krystle - posted on 09/08/2010

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I've heard that it takes about a year for your body to recover from pregnancy/ childbirth. (Evolutionarly speaking, it would be very difficult for a mother to have babies very close together....so nature tries to protect against it)

I'd say, to start by tracking your period and looking into fertility awareness.

Shiralee - posted on 09/08/2010

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I fell instantly with my daughter, and it took a few months to fall pregnant with my second. I am due in November so my munchkins will be 23months apart. I think you just need to enjoy 'making' a baby and not focus on trying to make a baby. You will fall pregnant when your body is ready and if you stress over it not happening it could take longer. Goodluck and keep positive xx

Amy - posted on 09/08/2010

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we started tryin in June to get prego with #2 and so far no tests have came back pos...testing tomorrow...Prenatal vitamins help...and try to keep your mind off of it. When we got prego with our 1st we were trying BUT thought it would take longer(but it only took a month)

Cecilia - posted on 09/08/2010

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I tried for a year. I finally got pregnant when I started taking Prenatals. I started those in October of 2009 and was pregnant by the end of November 2009. Just don't stress cause you have just started trying relax it will happen...

Emma - posted on 09/08/2010

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gosh you have only been trying for a couple of months at most! give it a chance also just have the attitude it happens when it happens then you are more relaxed so it will prob happen quicker!

Laura - posted on 09/08/2010

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Relax and don't stress over it! Start taking prenatals and eat healthy... Try to track the days you're ovulating too so you know when the best time to try is!

Aimee - posted on 09/08/2010

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prop your legs up against the wall after sex, while laying flat on your back...seriously :) with both of my kids i never got pregnant untill i did that and it worked both times!! dont stress over it that will only make it worse, it will happen in time, when its meant to happen!! I also had mine close together like you are wanting, its difficult but i love every minute of it! good luck

Aimee - posted on 09/08/2010

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prop your legs up against the wall after sex, while laying flat on your back...seriously :) with both of my kids i never got pregnant untill i did that and it worked both times!! dont stress over it that will only make it worse, it will happen in time, when its meant to happen!! I also had mine close together like you are wanting, its difficult but i love every minute of it! good luck

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

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This is not to freak you out, and not saying that you are like me, but number one, two months is nothing to worry about it usually takes longer then that if your trying and maybe you should just stop trying and just have fun (like all the time...lol) I was a two years and a couple of months trying to get pregnant for our second. (my son is going on four and we have been trying since he was 9 mths) but it wasn't happeneing, in fact I had him and then 9 mths of a regular period and then all of a sudden no period! thought we were pregnant but went 3 mths and still no positive anyway long story short, I eneded up finding out two years later after not knowing why I couldn't and people telling me that maybe God did not intend of me to have another one or people just telling me everything under the sun about us not doing it right...when i went to doctor after doctor saying there was nothing wrong with me and then one doctor discovered I have polycystic ovarian diease. he put me on a diabetic medacation and in three months we found out we were pregnant. I am now due oct.28. Now i am not saying that their is anything wrong with u, just for now calm down, keep trying but not to hard, its bound to happen and the information above is if you keep trying for a LONG time then you can get checked. Anyway, good luck :) and don't be so hard on your slef. stress can stop you from getting pregnant as well.

Jennifer - posted on 09/08/2010

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It took us 4 months to get preggo with our second child, but it can take a year. You also may wanna track your cycle. Be patient and before you know it you will be holding your second precious angel! Good Luck!

Leslie - posted on 09/08/2010

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stop stressing and quiet trying so hard... It will happend.. My daughter was born 2005 we tried again in the begging of 07. nothing finally quit trying and relaxed and it happend my son was born june of 08.. It will happend.. just relax

Betty - posted on 09/07/2010

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Just stop 'trying' and let it happen when it happens. Lots of people feel like their kids need to have an exact age difference but there will be a strong connection no matter what and they will still want to play together and stuff.

Carmen - posted on 09/07/2010

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Natural family planning is very helpful (we use the Billings method), or just try having sex every second day. Too much lowers sperm count.

Jara - posted on 09/07/2010

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I am having the SAME EXACT problem! I have a 3 and 2 year old and I actually love them being so close in age. My husband and I have been trying for a year. Finally I talked to my doctor about it. He gave me a lot of useful info to help me concieve.
FIRST: He said you ovulate in the middle of your cycle but you can hold sperm inside for 2 weeks. So, he actually told me to have sex every day for 2 weeks starting the day my period stopped.
SECOND: When you do have sex, do it mission style with your butt propped up on a pillow. When your husband is done, stay like that for about 15 minutes. It's uncomfortable and a little embarrasing really, but my doctor says it helps the sperm gets where it needs to go.
Last, de-stress. Try yoga, a pedicure, a massage. Anything that helps you de-stress.
Honestly it sounds weird, but a friend of mine did this. She had been trying for 2 years and was beginning to think that she couldn't have children. She said she did all that and got pregnant in 2 months.
BEST OF LUCK TO BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kymberly - posted on 09/07/2010

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Kiaya- that is a good point but I stopped nursing over 6 months ago because I had heard that from a couple people...thanks everyone for the input! we stopped "trying" and now we're just letting whatever happens happen :D I'll let everyone know as soon as I do! Thanks again...I really love this community

Kiaya - posted on 09/07/2010

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I dont know if you are nursing or not but if you are, that may be why. Nursing for some women is like a natural birth control.

Margaret - posted on 09/07/2010

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Are you doing anything to monitor your ovulation? We tried for two years for #1, and it was once I bought an ovulation monitor on recommendation of my OB (ClearBlue Easy) that in less than six months I got a handle on when I was ovulated and was able to get the right time frame.

Mica - posted on 09/07/2010

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Definitely don't worry about anything yet, but I recommend to all of my friends to read this book about Natural Birth Control. It is very informative about how you body works and how to recognize when you are most fertile each month. It is not as easy as x number of days. This is the book: Natural Birth Control Made Simple by Barbara Kass-Annese and Hal C Danzer http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Birth-Cont...
It has really great information that every woman would benefit from whether trying to or not to have baby.

Layla - posted on 09/07/2010

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i really feel for you, me and my husband tried for 2 years before falling withour daughter she turnt 1 on the 29th aug and we have never used any contraception since having her as we knew we wanted 2 children and with how long it took 1st time round thought this would be the best idea although im still not pregnant but the best thing is to not stress about it look after yourself and dont think about trying enjoy being with your partner randomly dont plan if its ment to be it will be, best of luck and i hope all works out for your family x

Shauna - posted on 09/07/2010

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I am 9 months pregnant with my first and it took us a year and a few months to get pregnant. I know it seems like everyone gets pregnant as soon as they think about it, but that's just not the case! I do know that stress can be a factor, so try not to stress too much! Enjoy life as it is, and, if at a year you aren't pregnant, then talk to a doctor. I know I hadn't been pregnant yet, but my doctor said at that point that I was trying that she wouldn't even look into it until a year because that's very common.

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I don't know about how to help, but I can tell you after my 2nd child we tried to have another baby. It took me 3 years to get pregnant again, which is where I am now. I'm due in November.

Donna - posted on 09/06/2010

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i hear ya. just keep trying. it tiik my husband and me 2 yrs to get pregnant again after having our twins. dont worry it'll happen, eventually

Elise - posted on 09/06/2010

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i think the key is to just relax! my first was a complete surprise. when she was 18 months old we decided to stop being careful and see where it led us. to us we were not "trying" to have a baby. we were just letting nature take its course. 2 weeks later my period was 2 days late so i took a test and now we are expectiong our 2nd bub in nov. we where pretty lucky though.

Alicia - posted on 09/06/2010

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I know this was not my question but I had been thinking the same thing because my soon to be husband and I are trying for our first child. I have a daughter who just turned 8 in Aug. and like a lot of the respondents on here I didn't really plan for her. I now have some great advice thanks to you ladies that I will pass onto my boyfriend.

Jo - posted on 09/06/2010

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the only advise i can give is not too try just enjoy it as it worked for me as i had my daughter in oct 08 got pregnant 6 weeks after , had my son in sept 09, got pregnant 4 weeks after he was born(miscarriage christmas 09) we then decided to start trying summer 2010 but ended up having a great accident in march n am due boxing day, so defo stop trying n start enjoying practisieing

Sarah - posted on 09/06/2010

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I have four kids and one on the way. I have never tried. Just lay off the birth control and relax. Quit "trying" and start "practicing". My friend said that worked for her plus it was way more fun.

Alexis - posted on 09/06/2010

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True what the last person said, some ppl just get PG when the body is ready. We have all had the time when there was an opps, slip up, and you thought of getting PG as a bad thing. You were to young, not married. At the time it was more a scare then a good thing. And you found out you were not, and all was ok again. THen you mind changes, because you found the one. My X and I were trying but not for long. a month later there was a + PG test. THough I don't want more kids. I have friends that it took a couple of years inbetween children, and I have 1 friend that just had a baby less then a year apart from the other.
If you are concerned about medical issue get checked, it will take some of the stress of knowning all is ok, and if it is not, what you can do to make it ok. I have heard vitamins and exercise, as well as other very normal things can help. Maybe your DR can help you get on the right path.

Natasha - posted on 09/06/2010

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I have had the same issue except mine is a little different. I wanted another baby and we started 'trying' so to speak not tracking or anything, just knew we wanted another baby. It didn't happen so I went to the doctor and got an ultrasound, and found out that I have PCOS, which is the most common form of female infertility and you are more likely to get it after you have a child. There is no harm in going to your doctor. BUt they do say 6 months if you under 25 and a year if your over 25, is normal to not fall pregnant.

Alexis - posted on 09/05/2010

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I agree, if you make it a chore you loss all the fun in the effort. LOL So take the time to enjoy each other, and not worry about the trying. Either that or have drunk sex, it has worked for alot of ppl I know. And not just out of stupidity, but it relaxes all your worries. Like wine, nothing harsh.

Cindy - posted on 09/05/2010

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my husband and i were both taking multivitamins when we were trying. i heard it works. but not sure if the myth is true or not. but shortly we started, i was pregnant

Jessi - posted on 09/05/2010

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simple......stop trying! when you try you are expecting something to occur. a teacher of mine tried for 11yrs before she "gave up" and finally ended up getting pregnant with her daughter at the age of 36. my mom was 16 when she was told it would be a miracle if she ever had a child (she was in the 1st stage of cervical cancer)....she had my brothers at 21 and 22 and myself at 25. lol all 3 of us were "whoops" babies!

Augusta - posted on 09/04/2010

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Im in the same boat. We have been trying for 3 months and still nothing. I also had a daughter back in 07 and we want another one so bad! Just wait a couple days then have sex. the more and more you have sex the less chance you will get prego. Good luck!

Brittany - posted on 09/04/2010

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Hi! My son is now 20 months and since we had him we have never really used condoms or any type of protection. I am now 11 wks. pregnant with our second so it took my about a year to get pregnant with this one. I think it all depends on your body and when it's ready. Don't rush it but if you are honestly concerned make a dr's appt. to get it checked on! Good luck!

Kymberly - posted on 09/04/2010

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thanks to everyone that's inputed in this convo...it means a LOT to have other moms out there who are sympathetic and going through the same thing as me...I'm on the 10th day of my cycle today so we are just enjoying it and trying to have a little fun :D again, thanks everyone!!!

Neisha - posted on 09/04/2010

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I don't know if you know this or not but having the big "O" while you are trying to concieve helps. It is said to open your cervix so that the little "fishies" can go where they need to. Hope this helps...GL!!!

Roni - posted on 09/04/2010

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THis might be different in what you have heard but chart your cycles and between. Natural Family Planning is what it is called and it will help you to understand your body and you will learn the best possible time for you to get pregnant is or not . The easiet and simpliest way is to get a basle thermometer and check your temp in your vagina everyday before you get out of bed in the m,orning and when you temp goes up a few degrees your body is fertile! Good luck!

Amy - posted on 09/04/2010

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We fall pregnant wen we are ovulating..
There for the best time to fall pregnant is 10-14 days after ur period..
starting from the first day u get ur period, count everyday up until u reach day number 10..
Do it on Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13 & OR Day 14..
Wen my partner and i were trying to have a baby, we fell pregnant Day 10..
Hope my advice has helped..
Best of luck with everything! =)

Ashley - posted on 09/04/2010

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be patient, my sister was so stressed out and worried about having a baby she didn't enjoy the act of having sex. If you aren't relaxed and enjoying it you will not get pregnant (its what her drs and my drs told me) just put the baby out of your mind and just have great sex!! (LOL) if you are SOOOOO worried about having a baby it isn't going to happen. My sister went on hormones and ended up getting pregnant with twins after trying for 4 years (yeah thats alot of hormones) but once she relaxed and enjoyed making love to her husband BAM TWO babies LOL...RELAX woman....and I wish you the best of luck

Sophie - posted on 09/03/2010

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dont think of it as trying at all else nothing will happen, stay calm and just keep having sex when ever you want it where ever you want it. the main thins like myself and a few others have said is to stay calm and be patient.
hope this helps
good luck
x

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