Why do people feel it necessarily to make you feel bad for giving your baby formula?

Holly - posted on 04/18/2010 ( 81 moms have responded )

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I know breast is best for at least the first 3 months. But I think its every mothers decision wether or not to feed there baby formula or not. Its already a hard choice so why do other moms make it harder? There is nothing wrong with formula feeding your baby.

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Chelsea - posted on 04/21/2010

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I completely agree with the fact that no mother should be looked down upon whether BF or FF.. I say that because my little one ended up being born 3 months early, at 27 weeks.. When he was born, my milk started coming in, buttttt VERY INCREDIBLY SLOWLY.. after a week, I could hardly get anything.. My body wasn't ready for him to be born yet.. & that factor, kept me from being able to do what I wanted to BF wise.. I pumped nonstop & in the end, he was able to get the vast majority of what breastmilk was really needed for him.. (being born soo early..) buttt, the entire time, I felt like I was letting him down.. that's what ended up being my issue with post-pardum.. I kept feeling like I wasn't doing enough for him.. Now, after I cried to one of his nurses about that entire idea, she talked to me about how they make different formula's to meet different kinds of babies needs.. My little one was 3 months premature.. weighing 2 lbs., 6.5 oz. when he was born.. From about a week old on, he has been on formula.. (i tried pumping nonstop for an entire month to try getting it to come in..) He is also doing absolutely fantastically.. @ 4 months, 2 days, he is well over 10 lbs. & is not overweight or unhealthy @ all.. I call him my little miracle worker.. he's so strong.. he takes on the world one day @ a time & went from not being able to breathe on his own, relying solely on oxygen & monitors living in the hospital from day 1 until Mar. 6, 2010 to sitting in my lap right now, nothing attached to him & living like a full term totally healthy baby.. Formula kept him just dandy.. & helped him alot..

Every situation is different & we have to approach each one in a special, careful way..

Sarah - posted on 04/21/2010

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The breastfeeding vs. formula feeding debate will probably be an ongoing argument for years to come...heck this debate will probably be around forever. Do you think we will all ever come to an agreement? Haha probably not. My son is 7 months old & he has been formula fed exclusively for 5 months now. I know what the research says. I know breastmilk is better. But, from my own observations, my son is one of the happiest babies I know. He's healthy, beautiful, right on track developmentally, and he's NOT overweight just because he's on formula. It's called genetics. Both his dad & I have always been VERY thin, super healthy, and smart! hehe ;) So, it's not surprising that our son takes after us.

People do feel it's necessary to throw all their facts & beliefs in your face just because you don't do things EXACTLY like them. It's annoying. You feed your baby the way you want to & I'll feed mine the way I want to.

Nicole - posted on 04/21/2010

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Actually, breast milk has many more ingredients in it than formula and the ingredients that do match, breast milk has them in a much healthier amount. Breast milk DOES contain vitamin D IF the woman is, herself, has enough Vitamin D. If a woman's breast milk is lacking the adequate amount of Vitamin D, it is because she is deficient in Vitamin D. This is why it is recommended that breastfeeding women, just like pregnant women, take a multi-vitamin. Vitamin D is one of trickiest vitamins for the body to absorb, because so many factors contribute or hinder the body's efficiency in absorbing it. I say this, because I didn't want women to think that just because they do not eat very healthy, they can not breastfeed.

Here is a page on Dr. Sears' website talking about "Bottle Feeding" and I feel it gives very good information about ingredients in breast milk versus those in formula: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/0/T000100...

Here are some other sites comparing breast milk and formula ingredients:
http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/co...

http://www.drjen4kids.com/soap%20box/wha...

Jamie - posted on 04/21/2010

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We'll never understand why some mothers, nurses and even strangers will make you feel bad. I've dealt with it like so many of you but I choose to ignore it. Their comments mean absolutely nothing to me when I look at my beautiful healthy daughter. She's never been sick and doesn't have any allergies. She's growing and advancing perfectly. I'm inclined to believe that most of those women just have character issues rather than a genuine concern for my child's well-being.

Lisa - posted on 04/21/2010

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My daughter was a formula fed baby she is now 18 months old and says 3 word sentences. She had 1 cold all winter that last for only 2 days and she is 25 lbs and 34 inches long. She is healthier than any breast feed baby I know and just as smart if not smarter. I got a lot of grief from people as well I stood up to them and told them its my choice and its not like formula is going to hurt them. I also dont believe that breast milk is best for them formula has everything breast milk has and more. Breast milk doesnt have vit. D ect. Just tell them to but out its not their business

Veronique - posted on 04/21/2010

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I agree with you! My first daughter i breast fed her 8 weeks with formula at night time. My second daughter i breast fed for 4 weeks with no formula, and both my daughters are very healthy. I decided to switch to formula because i was not producing enough milk to make them happy. Just ignore those women who make you feel bad. My father in law made me feel like a bad mom for stoping breastfeeding and i simply told him that if he thought he could do a better job at it than me then he's more than welcome to wipe out he's boob and breastfeed them lol.......That shut him up!
Good luck!!!!

Nicole - posted on 04/21/2010

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Formula (these days or ever) will never be as good as breast milk. Breast milk is human milk for human babies. And just because formula is "legal" doesn't mean it's "healthy". There are plenty of medications (and I use medications as an example because the formula companies are branches of the pharmaceutical companies) that have not-so-desirable side effects, but they are still "legal". The politics of formula being accepted by the FDA and "legal" is because (just like some medications) it is more risky to have NO alternatives to breast milk than it is to let the side effects interfere with production and sales of an alternative. Formula is better than straight cow's milk or NO milk. In working with WIC, I have heard horror stories when some families are not provided with free formula and, sadly, this is what we would hear on a much larger scale if there were no alternatives to breast milk and this is why, as much as I support breastfeeding, I would NEVER want formula to be illegal. Formula is supposed to save the lives of babies who would not be able to receive breast milk. With that said, formula is a safety net for some infants, but it is widely overused due to big business. Here in the US, there is more money put into formula advertisement than into breastfeeding research and promotion combined.

I was not breastfed and I suppose I am fine (a dork, but fine LOL), but I may have gotten lucky AND my life is not over yet. Who's to say that I won't still see any ill effects from being formula fed? My first child, too, received formula and he is bright and pretty healthy, but studies have shown that the risks from formula can be life-long and I wonder what type of issues he would have in his years to come. I used to feel regret about giving him formula but I did what I could at the time and what I felt was right at the time. I try to educate and support women in breastfeeding now because I didn't have that then.

I am not saying any of the previous things, in an effort to judge or make anyone feel guilt or regret, I have just seen so many posts saying that formula is "just as good" as breast milk and, being someone that has extensive training in infant feeding, I feel obligated to pass on some of my knowledge to the contrary.

Breastfeeding women are judged all the time, too. I had a woman tell me that she was discreetly feeding her baby at a public play area and a little girl came over and wanted to "see the baby under the blanket", so the mother obliged, while still trying to be discreet and when the parents of the little girl saw that she was breastfeeding, they loudly and rudely called her very bad names, including "slut". All for just feeding her baby!

It is very sad that judgment is passed on loving and caring parents. Formula feeders and breastfeeders alike. I am not a perfect mom and I make mistakes, but breastfeeding is just one thing that I can do that I know will benefit my children while I save money, that's all.

Happy mothering to ALL mothers! And Happy early Mother's Day!

Lisa - posted on 04/21/2010

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These days formula is just as good to give your bub as breast milk. I was unable to breast feed my 2 boys as I had to make the hardest decision since they were 13weeks early and they were in the hosptial for the first 3 months of their life.
My decision was based on what I felt more comfortable with and my lifestyle at the time they were born. I had to chose between maternity leave when they were born and I couldnt do much for them cause they had to fight for themselves or take it when the boys were strong enough to come home and I was able to be a proper mum to my boys.
Since they spent so long in hospital I chose to return to work so trying to express milk in my work environment would have been difficult. I was faced with thinking about so many things. I chose the formula cause i knew it was right for me and my babies.
When i went back to work I got the 3rd degree from a lot of women saying i should be sitting at the hospital where i could only hold their little hands and be feeding them. But as they were so early they would have only been getting my expressed milk through a tube until they were able to suckle. It was hard on me and I understand how you feel.
We all have a choice and people should be supportive of that choice. There are few instances where a mother tries to breast feed but just cant, and if the mother stresses then so does the bub.

Anneke - posted on 04/21/2010

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Wiki is just one place, please look up the dam law before having a go at me they didnt make up the court cases against cow and gate you know. None of its made up why them laws are in place, The politics of breastfeeding is a well referanced book and you would be shocked reading what formula companies have been at and why WHO and other organisations had to step in and regulate it. I feel your one of the ones anyway that would never believe if all evidence was placed infront of you becuase you trust the companies making the money and think they are doing best by you. And the reason they are sold and still even mislabelled is because of loop holes one thing that they are trying to close in on for years.

If a mum cant breastfeed and its about 3% of mums that actually cant most arnt supported or helped then usually its donated milk but thats not common in the uk so formula will have to do. I am glad I can breastfeed and have been doing so for 15 months now, I was set up to fail at it but showed them you can do it. I am not lucky to breastfeed its nothing to do with luck.
http://www.thefword.org.uk/reviews/2009/...
read the book then you wont wonder why and ask me these questions because no matter what I say your going to doubt it.

Lizzy - posted on 04/21/2010

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Anneka, Wiki is not a reliable source at all.
What are your thoughts about mothers who actually cant breastfeed? If a mother said to you that she cant breastfeed, would you tell her that there is no other way, because formula milk is bad for the child? What about if you could not breastfeed? Would you use formula? Because there is no other way other than food, and that can cause consequences for the child.
I really believe that if formula milk was that bad, it wouldnt be sold in shops, surely? And there would be more alternitives easy to buy?

Alexis - posted on 04/21/2010

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i totally agree with u i had every1 ranging from close friends 2 family make me feel bad when i put my 4 month old daughter on formula but she was preemie n not gaining weight n i prefered a healthy baby she is finally gaining weight n i wish i did it earlier i think aslong as they r being feed something who cares if its breast or formula a happy healthy baby is more important then anything else

Ashley=) - posted on 04/21/2010

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I think the breast is brilliant for both mom and baby but when you cant or don't want to b/f your baby cant starve what else can we give them other than breast?formula you got it.



I have heard so many things said from posts i have read and my gosh there are moms who feel so strong about formula you would swear it was drugs we were giving them the think its so unacceptable.. LOL.



I tired b/f didnt work both times for my own reasons so i formula fed them and there not fat,there both above average for there development in the milestones and speech.I have a 15mth old and now five year old and she is a little whiz in school.My kids are never sick at even for the first 2years of my first child's life and my second got a cold thats it...So do what you have to moms will always have there views which is okay but it wouldnt put a dent on how i feel about feeding my child or upset me.Your doing the best you can so keep it up:-)

Christi - posted on 04/21/2010

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I have dealt with mothers talking down to me and even telling me God should not have given me children once they find out my son was formula fed. I never really had a choice though, I never produced a drop of milk or colostrum. Looking back it would have been nice to breastfeed, it sure is cheaper, but my son is healthy and more advanced than other children his age. Just let it roll of your back, you make your own choices and there is nothing that shows formula fed babies are dumber or sicker than breastfed babies.

Ashley - posted on 04/20/2010

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my son never latched on and i believe that he is just as smart as any breastfed baby. i was a formula fed baby as well. it is the mothers choice so just do whatever makes you happy and what you think is best for your baby

Cree - posted on 04/20/2010

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i had twins 9 months ago, and i breastfed them for about a month and a half before finding it unsuitable. and i do also find it ridiculous when i as well as other mothers are judged. Yes breastmilk is better, but formula is great too. look at how many babies who ate formula that are just as healthy or even healthier than those breastfed. the plac where i got the most harrassment abt it was wic and the hospital.

with twins i found that there was no way i could keep up, id get done with one baby then have to start with the other. not to mention the growth of my breast due to the production of milk, it got bad.

Amber - posted on 04/20/2010

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i find is terribly sad when I hear mother's judging others. Unless you're endangering your child or abandoning your child there is no reason for another person to stick their nose into your busines and give their two cents. it is YOUR right to do what you wish. i do not want to best feed my baby but my fiance wants me to. im meeting him halfway and breastfeeding for the for 3 months but i am not happy about it. i find it uncomfortable and weird, personally. i wasn't breastfed as a baby and i turned ut perfectly healthy. i was an early developing child - walked by 9 months and was "potty trained" by a year old. don't ever listen to people who spread negativity and judge. they are bias and rude.

Juanita - posted on 04/20/2010

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i agree so much alot of people made me feel so bad with my first two kids about not breastfeeding i would always hear the breast is better they wont get sick as much i heard it all i just didn't have the time with work and school plus it was just me there is nothing wrong with formula as long as the baby is eating and healthy and happy i just feel like some moms need to back off we are all mothers trying to raise healthy babies so no one needs to judge just because the methods are different

A - posted on 04/20/2010

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Nikkole, your doctor sounds like an idiot. You can't say a breastfed baby isn't going to have any health problems! That's ridiculous. However, it is proven by studies that breastfed babies on average are healthier and smarter. The way I look at it, you can have a bottle fed baby that is more intelligent and healthier than a breastfed baby. I just think, in my opinion, if you had given a formula fed baby breastmilk instead, they would have turned out MORE healthy and MORE intelligent than with formula. But we'll never know for sure until a study is done with clones I guess. lol But that's what studies show.

Nikkole - posted on 04/20/2010

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i was told if you breast feed your kids wont have heath problems thats what my doc told me. but thats not truth bc my aunt did breast feed and both her kids was sick all the time.

Nikkole - posted on 04/20/2010

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bc some people think they know every thinging!!!!! i use formula too. im on the go to much to breast feed. I still have sister in high school and i go to all her stuff and im to uncomtable to breast feed with people around, but if you can to it good for you. i wouldnt let it get to you bc i dont. cheer up!

Nicole - posted on 04/20/2010

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I just want to say that breast is actually best for 12 months according to the American Academy of Pediatrics and 2 years according to the World Health Organization. I am not passing judgment, I just wanted to counter what you said about breast being best for only the first 3 months.

Lauren - posted on 04/20/2010

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go the bottle feeding!!!

Jamie - posted on 04/20/2010

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As for myself, i was made to feel inadequate for wanting to breastfeed so badly. My son was given formula in the hospital nursery against my wishes, when they found him to be tongue tied and to have a high palate they sent me home with pre-bottled sterile formula. The whole thing made me feel very uncomfortable. I felt like, if i didn't formula feed i wasn't giving my son the clean, safe (read: sterile) nutrition he needed. I ended up supplementing because i wasn't nursing enough to produce enough milk (i know i could have produced enough had i been supported in trying more often). I did breast feed him until he was six months, but his feedings were small and irregular, he was mostly raised on formula... which was expensive and, in my situation, ultimately unnecessary.

I was also on the receiving end of my fair share of nasty comments and dirty looks whenever i did breast feed in public (ranging from my own family. Even my own mother in law (at the time) gave me a hard time because my breast fed baby was thin and often fussy, while formula fed babies were fat, and quiet. My only problem at the time was that he was my first and i didn't know any better, and i didn't feed him often enough. By the way, he's still thin.

Breast milk is best for infants, nature made our bodies so that we would be able to provide the best nutrients for our own young. That is the way all mammals are made. Natural milk (from a healthy mother) is always superior to formula, and being fed by the mother is always preferable to being fed by bottle.... even in the veterinary world. That being said, i don't care what mother's choose to feed their babies. I feed my babies what i think is best, and i believe every parent has the freedom and responsibilities of choosing the same for their own children. What is best for me and mine, may not be best for you and yours. Differences... diversity.... those i can deal with. Prejudice and pre-conceptions and misguided advice i can live without, thankyouverymuch.

Sabrina - posted on 04/20/2010

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the docs and nurse tried to make me breat feed and i didnt want too at all and the even kept me in the hospital an extra 2 days cuz my daughter wasnt latching on and i didnt even want to breast feed in the first play so i was upset and with the bonding...my daughter and i have a very close relationship with out breastfeeding so i mean i dont think its bad to give ur baby formula at all :)

Katelyn - posted on 04/20/2010

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I agree! As long as those babies aren't starving who cares what other people are doing?!

Michele - posted on 04/20/2010

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I agree 150%. It is the mother's choice. I formula fed my daughter & when my son is born in August, I will also formula feed him. It is more convenient for mothers, especially the ones that work & aren't stay at home. I have seen a lot of criticism given to mothers that don't breast feed. No one in my family has ever breast fed their babies & there were never any problems, all the babies in my family have always been very healthy. I am 100% for formula feeding & I'm 100% for the mothers who choose to breast feed. Everyone has different opinions about different things when it comes to babies. My babies don't get formula for very long anyway. At 6 months I switch them over to 2% milk. Every mother is different & it's something I think that has become a big issue. It's entirely your choice hun & don't pay attention to anyone who wants to criticize you for whatever choice you make.

Kasey - posted on 04/20/2010

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Oh my god yes thats something i TOTALLY agree with AN no matter ur decision the hospital is where u should be informed on every aspect and then supported in ur choice!!!

A - posted on 04/20/2010

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Kasey- Agreed. Like I said, I think its great now days we have that option versus back in the day when all they could do was let someone else feed their baby or goats milk or something like that. I think its interesting to see both sides of this because a lot of you guys are saying now you were "pushed" by classes and medical professionals to breastfeed, not I honestly never got ANY help. I had to be VERY VERY proactive in the hospital to make sure my baby did not get any formula, because the nurses and staff there did NOT want to help me breast feed. I think hospital staff should be forced to give you information on both breastfeeding and formula feeding, and then help you 100% with whatever decision you make. I think its wrong to not fully educate their patients, and its also wrong to not help them once that decision is made.

I think next time I'm going look in to home birthing because I honestly didn't like the pressure I felt from the medical staff at the hospital. Not just on breastfeeding but everything....It would be awesome to skip that whole mess and be at home. lol

Schyla - posted on 04/20/2010

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I pumped every single feeding for four months because my first wouldn't latch on, I'm NEVER doing that again I had to listen to my baby scream while I tried to get enough food to feed her in the end I gave her formula and I would have to say that it was the best choice I could have made. I will never understand why others look down on you for but it doesn't matter what matters is that you gave your child a healthy alternative and they are just fine. Props to you for doing what you felt was best.

Kasey - posted on 04/20/2010

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AN i agree to a point but i think the problem is that alot of formula feeding mothers ARE informed they do know all the pros and cons of both forms of feeding and if they still want to bottle feed thats their choice just like its the choice of a breastfeeding mother to breastfeed neither mother should be made to feel guilty and thats what happens alot of the time. It doesnt matter how well meaning either side is like u said when questioned mothers automatically go on the defensive. As for the comparison between Maccas and formula the difference is that when it comes to food there is ALOT of choice out there and yes i would probably say somethin if i saw a friend constantly feeding her child Maccas everyday but only because there are so many other options unfortunately when it comes to babies there are only 3 options: Breast, Bottle or letting your child starve to death and if a mother cant or wont breastfeed then formula is the next best nutrition, it says that on the tins as well.

A - posted on 04/20/2010

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I don't think its right to make anyone feel bad about their decision. However, I think MOST (not all) people are trying to inform other people about the benefits of breast feeding. So many people know so little about it. They have no idea that it is healthier to breast feed. They have a misconception that formula is just as good, when in fact it is not. If you read the can of formula, even the manufacturer recommends breastfeeding over formula when possible. Obviously if you have a low supply or something like that, in THAT case formula would be best because we don't want the baby to starve.



I think formula is great for when a woman has medical reasons in which she cannot breastfeed (like a true low supply, or taking a medication) or when you're a single father or mom and have to work, or something like that.



I think the main problem breastfeeding mothers have about formula feeding mothers is that so many are mis-informed or they don't breast feed for selfish reasons (like they don't want their boobs to sag or something like that). So they want mothers to know that it is the BEST nutrition for baby, when possible.



With that said, you can inform people of the benefits without making them feel bad or putting them down. Ultimately, it is their choice and its God's place to judge people, not ours.



You also have to keep in mind that many women who breastfeed are also put down by bottle feeding mothers. We all get defensive when it comes to our children. We all want to feel like we're doing the right thing. So if anyone disagrees we automatically go on the defensive.









EDIT: I'd just also like to put a different scenario out there for you. Keep in mind this isn't neccessarily how I feel, I'm just playing a little devils advocate to give another prespective. What if your best friend was feeding their children a double cheeseburger from Mcdonalds everyday. Would the child live? Yes. Would the child be as healthy as if they had a cooked chicken breast and a salad? No. I think thats what it boils down to for a lot of people- they see parents giving their child food that isn't the healthiest for their baby. I think a lot of people would probably say something to a friend that gave their child fast food EVERYDAY. I think most people would think that friend is doing something wrong, and would say something. I think that's how some breastfeeding mothers feel- these parents are giving their babies something that's NOT the BEST for them. Just trying to show why some people are so strongly opinionated about it.



Like I said, I still don't think its right to make others feel bad about their decisions. Until you're walking in that person's shoes you have no idea. But I also don't see anything wrong with trying to INFORM formula feeding mothers who honestly do not know anything about breastfeeding and the benefits, in a NICE way.









EDIT: I'll also add that I feel very sympathetic to those mothers who were so depressed and emotionally drained in the early days from trying to breast feed. I totally understand where you are coming from. I breastfeed my son. He's 10 months now. In the early days, I wanted to give up so bad and go to formula. I had a cracked nipple on one side, and the pain was so horrible. So I totally get how frustrating it is in the beginning. But now that I've gotten over that hurdle, I see how easy breastfeeding is. I felt stressed in the early days too, and not to say that I know what you went through, because I dont, but I think for ME, it was just the stress of being a new mom. I think next time, if I were to have another, it would be so much easier than it was the first time, having to learn and be stressed about it because you're a new mom and don't know what you're doing.

Kasey - posted on 04/20/2010

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I agree wholeheartedly with the general opinion here from both bottle feeding mothers and breast feeding mothers: Its ur baby and u should b able to feed ur baby WHATEVA is best for ur situation and what u want. I agree alot with Vanessa as well, I was so set on breastfeeding I was sure that when I did it my baby and I would have this incredible bond and the world would be magical. Let me tell u reality is WAYYYY different. My son was hungary ALL THE TIME he cried and cried so much it was so depressing. It felt like all I did all day was feed and pump, feed and pump, feed and pump. I didnt have time to do anything else not even housework so I got even more depressed thinking that I was a bad mother and girlfriend because not only could I not feed our son adequately I couldnt even keep our house in order. By the end everyone I knew was telling me to quit breastfeeding and switch to bottle but I refused I wanted my son to have the best and switching to the bottle just seemed like a failing on my part I was so determined to breastfeed. A couple of weeks later my mental state had deteriorated even further, I cried all day, had no energy, DREADED feeding times and felt like I was damaging my son. My boyfriend (God love him) finally pulled me aside one day and pleaded with me to stop and to switch to formula, he told me that my son would appreciate a happy, healthy mum who wanted and could play with him far more than he would having breast milk anymore, so I agreed, in my mind I 'gave up'. It took only 3 days of my son on formula for me to be completely turned around about it. He started sleeping better, crying less and interacting with me more. HE WAS HAPPY and so was I. I still love the thought of breastfeeding and I will try again with my next one but if it doesnt work out I will switch to formula without a second thought. I also think that breastfeeding mothers do get a hard wrap just like formula feeding mothers do and I think that in this situation we should all be supporting each other regardless of our decisions. Mothers as long as our babies are fed and happy who cares what they are given. Be happy and comfortable with ur decisions and dont judge others for theirs.

Robyn - posted on 04/20/2010

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NO there ISNT anything wrong with wanting to do what YOU feel is best for your baby. I breastfed both of my boys at least till they were 3 months, but if I have another, I wont. Milk allergies run in the family and it's too much for a baby to handle. With breast feeding you have to supplement with vitamin D drops and with formula feedings, it's just a pain to sterilize and measure and boil water. But it's just as good but not better. I think some mothers out there feel that you should ONLY breastfeed, but I have friends and family that just cant nurse due to health problems or it doesnt feel natural. You do what is best for your baby and let other people tell you otherwise!!

Anneke - posted on 04/20/2010

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Lizzy go and look up why there are laws around formula. There are also loopholes, a lot of them. Did you know formula was taken off the shelves a few times for containing things that where not printed on the label? courtcases , please do look up the laws first and why they have to have these laws I didnt make them up I just know about them.

even wiki know it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_form...

Jodi - posted on 04/20/2010

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I havn't read more than a handful of the replies here, but here's my two cents. Just as mothers who use formula feel that other people try to make them feel bad, mothers who breastfeed also have others try to make them feel bad, they can even get kicked out of establishments in certain states! (I'm from Wisconsin and have been asked to leave restaurants or nurse in the bathroom!!!)

It doesn't matter what decision you make, someone, somewhere will not agree and try to make you feel bad...so don't feel alone, I've breastfed my daughter for 14 months and it hasn't been all sunshine and daisies for me either from general society.

Kim - posted on 04/20/2010

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I breastfed my daughter for six weeks, until I went back to work. No one tried to make me feel bad about quitting, yet I felt absolutely horrible. I felt like a failure because I couldn't handle breastfeeding and working 48 hours a week. When push comes to shove, breastfeeding is not for everyone, and you really shouldn't feel bad for not doing it. I'm glad I at least gave it a shot, and I plan on trying to breastfeed my next child.

Louise - posted on 04/20/2010

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I'm not necessarily saying that I agree/disagree with the advertisment of Formula milk but I do believe that mothers to be should be better informed of their options as regards formula etc. When it came to picking a formula for my son I used SMA for no other reason than my mom used it for us and I didn't know about any others. There are so many now and mothers are not aware of all the facts!

Lizzy - posted on 04/20/2010

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Anneka, surely if formula was indeed that bad, the sales of formula milk would be stopped? Babies who cant have breastmilk must have formula, so are they saying that if babies are on formula, they will have bad health? The first link that you posted seemed a little over the top, and too much for people to read. No babies i know of have become ill from formula milk?? It all seems a little too much for me.
Formula is used in the third world countries, as the women are so malnourished, they cannot produce enough breastmilk for their babies. Maybe for not all of the third world countries, but a few will from aid. And you see an improvment and healthier babies that are on formula over there, than if they were on breastmilk alone.

Brooke - posted on 04/20/2010

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I was told up to the birth that i should breast feed, and i wanted to. I do personally believe that the first to month is the best thing you can give your baby. My baby had to go to the nurshery when she was born so they immediately gave her a bottle agains my will. So i wasnt able to get her to lach on, but i pumped for a month man was that horrible. But it all depends on you. I feed her formula to this day and she has been perfectaly fine.

Annette - posted on 04/20/2010

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because they are butt heads and need to make others feel like crap for the decisions they have made that have been wrong. If there were no haters in the world we would never now we were doing it right.

Brittiny - posted on 04/20/2010

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I must say that I guess I was very fortunate in that I got very little flack for making my decision to formula feed all three of my babes. (Maybe all of those closest to me just know not to mess with me when it comes to my kids... I dunno)The only exception being my brother who was in med school when I was pregnant and happened to be in the middle of his OB/GYN rotation at the time, but that's a different story. I am a firm believer in the right to choose the way we feed our children and I agree with all of the other moms who have said that we should all just respect each others decision. As moms, we all can be such a valuable resource to one another, and I just hate all the 'mommy-competition' that goes on. I have friends who have formula fed, and I also have friends who have breastfed and I am okay with everyones choices.

Vanessa - posted on 04/20/2010

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I breast fed for 3 months. Hated it. The birds didn't chirp, the sea didn't part, I was already in pain from the c-section, and I was dreading feeding time. What kind of state is that for a mother to live in? Of course his dad's side of the family was upset when I stopped and the nurses at the hospital were so pushy after I had them. It's like.... I just got sliced open, do you mind jumping out the window?

I started formula feeding and the change was instant! I was so much happier when it came to feeding time and I could actually bond with our son without feeling like a zombie. And just like many other children on formula... he's wonderful and the birds are still chirping.

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The Great Debaters on Circle of Moms

Heather - posted on 04/20/2010

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I never breast fed my son, and everytime my fiance and I are around his father (our son's grandfather) he makes it appoint to ask me why I didnt breast feed, and says things like 'you're gonna give the next one the boob, right?" and stuff like that. it is just crude and annoying. I hate it when people try to make you feel bad about it. Formula has plenty of nutrition in it and it is definitely a mothers decision weather or not to breast feed or fomula feed.

Kerry - posted on 04/20/2010

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I BF my olest for a yr, t was great I wasa size 8 when i got Prgo, A yr after having my son i was a size 4! I was so happy, that was one of the reasons i wanted to BF to get my figure back and that it was better for my son.
My 2nd child was diff. I wanted to BF for the resons metion above. But he had lost to much waight after being born, he was 8.1 and got downe to 7.8. So we was having problems Bfing, So I ended up doing both and he want bottle more than Breast. So by 3-4 months he was solely bottle feed, my breast didnt even swell up, like my 1st time. so i wasnt producing enough.
so i said all that to say this, both my boys are healthy. I recomend BF. My sister who is 3 month prgos is planing on it, if she can. But if you dont want too you should not do it. Of course another reason to BF is that it is cheaper. lol Good luck in what ever you choose =)

Anneke - posted on 04/20/2010

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Heidi look again at the formula add its never allowed to advertise for formula suitable from birth they aare breakingt the law. SMA had their advert banned a few weeks ago for having "tailored for all stages" mentioned in it as it was sugesting it was suitable from birth. I am in the UK by the way. Have a look at the formula laws.
http://www.babyfeedinglawgroup.org.uk/pd...
you arnt even allowed to have pictures of healthy babies on tins either or mums so you see cute bears instead. There is a lot of stuff people dont know about formula and how and why these regulations are in place.

Chezronda - posted on 04/20/2010

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It is your own personal choice. As mothers, we all want what is best, but sometimes it doesnt work out the way we want it. My friend couldnt produce enough milk, so she had to bottle feed. Me, I went back to work 2 months after having my son, so I chose the bottle, since I wouldnt have been able to pump every 2 hours. I felt guilty at first, but his pediatrician kept letting me know that he would be fine! He is two now, and perfectly healthy. It worked out as good as I wished! So, just do what works out best for you, and don't let others push their opinions on you, it's only their opinion!

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2010

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I think breastfeeding is wonderful...if that's what YOU want to do. I breastfed & supplemented with formula until my son was 2 months old. Then I switched to formula exclusively, and it was the best decision for my son and me. I used to feel guilty for going to formula, so I felt the need to come up with excuse after excuse about why I wasn't breastfeeding anymore. I felt like I HAD to explain myself. Now that my son is 7 months old, I'm done with trying to explain to people why I'm feeding my son formula. Honestly, it's nobody else's business how I feed my child. I know what the research says about breastmilk, but my son is a happy, growing, VERY healthy little boy.

Nothing against anyone else's child, but I know babies who are breastfed who are more sick than my formula fed child has been. Just an observation...

Stephany - posted on 04/20/2010

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The nurses and lactation consultants were so dead-set on getting me to breastfeed my first son (who never latched) that they sent me home from the hospital with a hospital-grade breast pump and a syringe. They taught me to attach a tube to the syringe, then tape the tube to my finger and let my son suck the expressed milk from my finger. I pumped for 3 months and felt so disconnected and resentful. I ended up with post-partum depression and a big part of that, IMO, was all of the stress related to feeding my baby. Looking back I wish I'd had the courage to just say 'to hell with it' and gone straight to formula. My son would have benefitted from having a mommy who wasn't always stressed, worried, and attached to a machine much more than he benefitted from the 3 months of breast milk.
I understand the whole "Breast is Best" campaign, and I know that it is the natural thing for a mother and baby. I don't doubt that the bonding experience between mom and baby during breastfeeding is amazing. In the end, though, I think our babies will grow up to remember not that they were breastfed but that they were raised in a loving, caring, supportful environment. THAT is our goal as moms, and if the best way for an individual mom to get there is by using formula for a year, so be it. Everyone should just get over it and move on, because there are much more difficult decisions we have to make for and about our kids and those decisions are easier to make when we aren't being judged by all of motherkind- on both sides of the table.

Rachelle - posted on 04/20/2010

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i think it stupid i have 3 kids the first i breast fed the 2nd i didn't and the 3rd both and their all smart kids i see no difference people just like having their own opinion and cant always keep it to themselves the only thing is it is A LOT cheaper to breastfeed but not always so easy

Heidi - posted on 04/20/2010

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How odd Anneka
we have all kinds of adverts for formula milk here in the uk from birth and follow on milks cow & gate ,aptimil, farleys to name a few I don't see what laws you have state that you can't advertise apart from your health system in the states I think your goverment over there need to come into the new age we have the NHS and don't pay for our health care.
I think it's a shame that so much pressure is put onto young mums to breast feed what's good for one is not always the case for all I didn't breast feed my two girls and they are both strong and health.