Why? Do some parents think its ok to leave a 9 year old boy home alone?

Ester - posted on 01/19/2013 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I can not understand why any parent or adult would think its ok to leave there 9 year old boy home alone! What is wrong with people today!! That is not ok! He is a child not a stuffed animal!! This really makes me sick how dare these parents or adults think this is ok

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Valerie - posted on 01/19/2013

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To be honest I think it really depends on how mature and independant these kids are. When I was younger my mom would leave my sister (age 8) and I (age 6) alone all the time because for one she knew we could handle it and we knew what to do if there was an emergency. My mom didn't really have much of a choice, she was a single mom who worked 13 hour days 6 days a week. You really shouldn't generalize all children and adults into one catagory, its not giving fair room for growth on the subject.

Tracey - posted on 01/20/2013

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I think we need more particulars. I wouldn't leave a 9-year-old home alone overnight. And when my oldest was 9 I wouldn't leave him home alone for long. My next child was more responsible, though, and could trust her home alone a bit longer than I could him--not long, still, but that was partly where we were living. My youngest is 8, and we'll see how this year goes. I still can't imagine leaving her home even for me to run an errand. She tends to try to take things into her own hands without understanding what she's getting herself into. She is probably going to be a lot older before I can trust her not to accidentally destroy the house when I'm gone!

Each child is different. And areas where people are living are different. It's a lot different in a small town, or in the country--or in areas where the nearest house is 10 miles away--than it is in the suburbs or the city.

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2013

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my son was staying home alone for approximately an hour each day at the age of 8 legally he could do this at his age here and it saved on babysitting costs for after school care. This being said my child is very mature and knows how to follow the rules he came home let himself in locked the door and was only allowed to answer the phone to 3 different people if they called he got his snack out of the fridge sat down and watched tv til I got home. He was perfectly safe.

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Feah - posted on 01/23/2013

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I was left with my sister home alone by that age never for more than a trip to the bank or grocery store. I believe it depends on the child and length of time one is planning on being gone. In my state though it is now illegal to leave a child under 13years old.

Iris - posted on 01/23/2013

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Well it would really be up to the parents you know... If they think there kid will be fine alone then it's on them but sometimes when ppl dont have money for babysitters they have to do that... I'm not against it at all it would just be on the parents if something where to happen

Hitomi - posted on 01/23/2013

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Some of the greatest composers started at the age of 4 (i.e. Mozart) and many great artists were given to masters to start apprenticeship around the age of 9. Some of the greatest theologians and philosophers were out from university by 15/16. These feats have nothing to do with whether or not they were just genetically superior. In fact, to the contrary, many are said to have had mental disorders. My point is that 9 year olds are perfectly capable of being left alone by themselves, if you have laid down the foundation for them to be mature and know the rules. I wouldn't leave my child by herself overnight, but for a couple of hours, if I believed she was mature enough to handle it, I would. I'm going through a rough pregnancy right now, and when my husband is not around to help me, I sometimes doze off for an hour and she is playing by herself... she's 5. Call me a bad mom, if you want, but I feel confident in my discernment of whether or not she can be trusted to not fall into curious and dangerous acts.

Casey - posted on 01/21/2013

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I see it both ways. When I was 7, my mom left me home for a few hours all the time with my 2 year old sister. That is part of the reason that I was raised by my grandparents from the time I was 10. We lived in a bad area, I used the stove, and gave her baths. While I was obviously really responsible for my age, I don't think it was right for my mom to expect me to take care of so much. So many things could have gone wrong. I have a 2 yr old and a 5 year old so I am not sure how responsible how they will be by then, but I just don't see myself leaving them when they are that young. I live in a decent neighborhood and all, but my husband and I have worked so hard to always be around for our kids including working completely different schedules so we don't have to put them in day care, it just is something that maybe I don't feel ready for and won't for a long time. I think that maybe if we were closer friends with our neighbors and it was just a minute or two I could think about it. I would always just worry about what could go wrong or what would happen if what I thought would be a minute or two took longer than expected. Like when I think what if my child chokes on food if I am not in the room. You never know what could happen. Think about your situation, it's probably different for everyone.

Jan - posted on 01/20/2013

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My 9 year old (who is high functioning autistic) comes home from school on his own two days a week, it's ok. In fact his social worker with the ministry of children and families has even commented on how wonderfully we have set up the opportunity for him to develop greater independence. We have worked with him step by step to ensure he is able to be safe and can be trusted to be safe on those days. He walks from school with the group of children that all live in our neighbourhood, unlocks the door, disarms the security system, relocks the door and sets the alarm to stay and calls me at work. Shortly after that my mother stops in on her way home from work to check in and make sure he has had something to eat. When she leaves he relocks and alarms the house and she usually calls or texts me to say she has left. By that point it is usually only a half hour to an hour until dad gets home. We know all our neighbors, next door is my BIL and his wife, on the other side is a good friend I have known since high school, and 3 doors down is one of his friends grandmother who is home all day. He has a cell phone in him at all times we can see where he is on GPS and we have wireless cameras in the house that I can monitor from both my PC at work and my phone. He knows he has to call and ask permission if he is going to leave the house and no ine is allowed over. So yeah bottom line I don't really see what you have a problem with, you haven't really given much information just a broadly judging comment.

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I was left home alone after school until my mom came home from work at 5 by that age, my dad worked second short and left for work before my sister and I got home from school. I believe i was babysitting by 10 so I see no problem with this at all. In fact in the summer when my dad was on second shift he would leave at 2 and we would be home alone again until 5. We were good friends with the neighbors across the street and they would come over to play, their parents were usually gone too. I also remember walking to school by myself at 5 and the school was about 4 or 5 blocks from our house.

I too have to ask why this is so unacceptable

Firebird - posted on 01/19/2013

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Um.. my parents left me home alone when I was 9. Where do you live that makes this unacceptable?

Dove - posted on 01/19/2013

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I was home alone for hours at a time on a very regular basis when I was 9 years old......

I hated being alone, but I was 100% safe and fine and capable.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2013

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Well, I guess it depends where you live and how long you are talking about. Are you suggesting that your personal circumstances and beliefs should apply to everyone? I will give you some examples....

My aunt and uncle had a dairy farm. They used to leave the children home (in the house quite a way from the milking shed) while they milked the cows.

I have left my boys (around that age at the time) home for 2 minutes while I went to buy milk just down the road.

My son used to walk home from school on his own when he was 9. School is about 1km away. In fact, he also rode his bike sometimes.

Are all of these scenarios objectionable to you? Just trying to gauge who you are judging.

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