will i ever make it?

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i am a 27 y mom of 2 boys (7&5) i am in a situation that i truly hate. about two years ago i moved in wiyh my father when he became very ill. i left everything with out question i left my job of ten years and my boy friend of 4y. well to this day my father has not appeciated a single thing i have done for him he has my boys calling me names(fat cow, lasy, no good mother) i know in my heart i am hurting my boys and they are learning all the wrong things from him. but i dont know if i can make it on my own i dont make enoph money to support us my credit is horrable, i do work full time but i work graveyard so even if i did leave i have no one to watch my kids. my other family could careless and say (we have what we want and this must be what i want because im still there)(at my fathers)what do i do i know i need to get out but how do i even start when i havent any support in my life. i know i can not contiue to have my children live like this any one please help even if you say it will be ok that would be more than ive gotten in 2 years

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10 Comments

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User - posted on 02/08/2012

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Take the chldren and leave. Don't worry about food, clothes, etc. You can find that anywhere. Find a shelter, and ask for the resouces. No one should be abused or accept abuse. Each day you stay is one more scar. I have been there.

Betty - posted on 08/30/2009

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You can do this! Have you thought about finding a roommate? If I were single I wouldn't mind living with a single mom. You could even give her a kickback if she agrees to stay in all night while you go to work. Only keep your name on the lease just in case because it takes a few tries to find a good roommate sometimes. As long as you do a background check and your boys are comfortable it should work out just fine. Just do a lot of praying. You don't need perfect credit to find a place. Trust me.

Maria - posted on 08/30/2009

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hello there sounds like a really awful situation what i suggest is to start with your kids!!! get a part time job something for a little extra cash and start saving for a new place to live and just take it a step at a time, maybe even confront your father and ask him what he thinks he is doing etc etc maybe just ask a family member or friend to put your kids up til you get on your feet hope this is ok for hun xx

Karla - posted on 08/30/2009

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this is a horrible thing you are going thru. i would suggest you find a chruch that can help you out with shelter. there are alot of churches that specialize in helping moms in need. try to get section 8 if they have that in your state. you are living in america and there is alot of help that you an get from the govmt. even vouchers for daycare. try to get yourself out of this house for your kids well being. they need you healthy and strong. snd you will not be like that if someone keeps treating you like crap especially if he is turning your kids on you. i hope everything works out for you

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2009

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you haven't failed them yet, your boys are still young. However, if you dont leave soon, I feel bad saying this but not only will they call you names but treat other women and maybe even their wifes like that. Kids can bounce back though. It maybe scary but thats what holds you there. Life is scary, hard, and complicated. You can do this- just think of what a different you can make in your boys lifes by changing their enviorment. After you do leave, I wouldn't let your father see your boys- at least for a while, while you teach them to change the way they treat you. Good Luck YOU can do It!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2009

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thankyou this helps alot.. i live in the state of texas and yes i have tryed all these programs but i keep getting told to come back next month.. i had food stamp ,and i have an open case but no food stamps they said it will take months to get them even though i was already getting them this was in may. i know i need out im just really scared...expecially scared that i have failed my children

Shelly - posted on 08/30/2009

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I am a 29 year old single mom and I live with my parents. Luckily they are very helpful and supportive, but I know it is hard to be in that situation. I am sure that you can get help from the state that you live in. It may be food stamps, cash assistance, the medical card, utility help and help with housing. In some states single moms can even get help if they need to fix their car. As hard as it may be to ask for help you need to not only for yourself but your kids.

Angela - posted on 08/30/2009

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I understand what its like to feel like youre drownding. I am as single mother my daughter is three. When I was married her dad beat me and didnt allow me to leave the house. I couldnt go anywhere without him. He picked what i ate what I wore...everything. I left him with the clothes I had on my back and my daughter. Thast was 2 years ago. Im now going back to school and have a full time job. Granted it is hard but God has his hands on single mothers like us. And once we are willing to help ourselves the blessings begin. Im not sure if I can help but heres what I did. There are local and state assistance programs im sure you can quallify for and cost no money to apply. Child care services, food stamps, all that stuff for free. I know its probably hard to imagin being on assistance...but it doesnt have to be for forever. I go to school strickly on line so I pay no extra day care. The goal was to be on assistance long enough to get on my feet. I have a year of school left then I wont need that help anymore God willing. Remeber everyday youre a beautifull mother with wonderful boys who just need the proper guidance....work hard and dont tolorate disrespect. If you just wanna chat let me know. im more to happy to listen or give you help finding assistance. Hey one more thing....smile

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Im not sure what state you are in and how to go about getting help. BUT I do know that you can probably get some state help. Get on some food stamps and medicade for you and the kids. Also you can get hud houseing. It will help you get on your feet. I would also try to see if you can get in a shelter till that goes though. I wouldnt want my kids around a man that did that. You have to teach your kids the right thing young or they will be hell. I was also thinking you might be able to ask some churches in your area for help. I hope you get the help you need and I will be praying for you and the kids

Hailey - posted on 08/30/2009

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i would leave, sure it will be tough but you cant keep wasting your time on someone who treats you like that even if it is your father better to be doin it tough then to be unhappy , your children should be taught respect from your father not to call you names , you have given up enough for your dad dont give him your happiness tooo you sound like a great daughter and he is lucky to have someone like you pitty you cant say the same about him xxx

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