worlds worst mother

Shivani - posted on 05/07/2010

Hey..!!! Motherhood is all about keeping Patience.. Did you ever ask your mom how notorious you were when you were born?? deal with it peacefully. This would remain for another 3 months or so and she would be a bit normal to start with and completely normal in 6 months. Have patience as this is just a few months pain.

Brandy - posted on 05/07/2010

I hope it gets better for you, and it will. I am sorry that you are feeling this way, I think that all mothers feel this sometime or another. My daughter is six months and she was the best baby and now she is started to through little fits, and whines all the time. There are days when I dont want to deal with it but I have too. her dad is good dad but I think we fight because we both get stressed out. I also understand not having anyone to talk to, my guy gets aggervated if I try to vent ot him too.

Chelsea - posted on 05/07/2010

when my second was like that i would hop in the car and go for a drive and the stroller worked too

Belinda - posted on 05/07/2010

There is nothing I can tell you that nobody else here hasnt already said but if its getting to you get help for yourself, your no good to either of your children if your falling apart. My lil girl was the same and I had no help either. Dont forget you are a wonderfull mother and you will get there, your son will forgive you in time he will have forgotten it was ever like that (though im sure you wont) dont forget YOUR A WONDERFULL PATIENT MUM.







ps have you tried a sling to give you some free hands. My lil girl prefered to be upright with her silent reflux and wouldnt let me put her down.While being in a sling didnt give me the space i myself needed I was able to eat and do some things for myself while keeping her happy. It might help you spend more time with your son too. Good luck

Louise - posted on 05/07/2010

it sounds as though ur baby has colic, my little one Jack had colic for 3 months and it was horrible, he never stopped crying the whole time my other two children were like ur little boy (miserable) but trust me it does get better! Jack is now 2 and is one of the happiest babies i no! try to get as much as 20 minutes break away from the baby just to get ur sanity back! it helps a lot,

Emily - posted on 05/07/2010

Don't know if anyone has said this yet because I haven't read all the post. If it's colic, have you tried giving up ALL diary foods...milk, cheese...everything. It worked for me, my sister and my Mama with our youngest brother. It take will take a week or so for everything to get out of your body but if it works it's worth a try.
Also I know a mother who started Itsy Bisty Yoga with her really fussy baby. Her husband was deployed and she was all alone with a baby who fussed and cried like yours. Anyway she found the baby yoga online one night when she was trying to figure out what to do and it worked wonders for her baby. I did it with my little girl when she was about 6 months to a year and loved it. Depending on how old your baby is you can try different yoga positions with her. I remember one for a fussy baby who might have gas is laying them on their back. You hold the baby by the ankles and move the legs up slowy and can even make a circle with the legs. There is even songs to sing with some of the stuff but if I remember right some of the yoga shouldn't be done with newborns.
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time but hang in there. Hope you find something that works for you and your little girl.

Eliza - posted on 05/07/2010

Dont worry. I believe every baby grows to be himself or herself no two individuals are the same. just show love to the kid, try to understand her may be she just needs attention. she will be fine as she grows up and she will grow to be an angel.Just ask God for guidance. All will be well.

Lucinda - posted on 05/06/2010

First of all your there for your daughter, not the worse mother by far! Second I would be concerned about maybe an illness, My son was also behaving the same way only to find out he had an ear infection, so poor baby and poor family, I would check on health and just stay strong no child is ever the same which makes us the parent's we need to be for their individual needs :) Hope this helps

Wenonalani - posted on 05/06/2010

i strongly suggest first demanding not requesting a day off to sleep and do something for YOU, then renting or buying the DVD "how to have the happiest baby on block" it seems ridiculous but I swear that man is a genius, invest in a white noise CD too, I promise it will help. BREATHE you'll be ok

Tarina - posted on 05/06/2010

sounds like all the mothers who've posted have already given you great advice, so I will just say this: You are NOT a bad mother! the fact that you are on here asking for help proves it. also: it WILL get better. Keep plugging through, You will make it. Good luck ♥ Keep your head up sweety!!!

Kourtney - posted on 05/06/2010

All babies have different personalities, and although it seems like what you did with your son isn't working with your daughter, doesn't mean you won't find a way to soothe her. I used to feel that stepping away from the situation helped me. If she is screaming her head off in a safe place, there is nothing wrong with going to a quieter area to compose yourself, that makes us better mothers! We can all have that moment where we think we will lose it, but knowing that we are there and that we can reach out for help is the difference!

Have you tried a lot of soothing things for her? Such as a swing or a bouncy chair that vibrates. They were such a lifesaver for me, although some feel like it's cheating, I don't mind cheating much if it means I can get a little break or a nap!!

Good luck and hang in there!!

Cleo - posted on 05/06/2010

you are not the worse mom ever hun. you sound like you need a very well needed hour or two away from home for "you" time. i know it's extremely hard to see now but it will get better just hang in there!!!

Tamara - posted on 05/06/2010

I am very sorry to hear that hun!! That must be very hard to deal with. The first thing is you shouldn't expect the kids to be the same. I understand you want your little girl to be happy and not so "difficult" but did you ever consider her having collic? My daughter is now 22 months and when she was a newborn it was awesome. After a while though she developed somewhat Collic and ended up having Acid Reflux. I know "midwifes" are very different from doctors but they can agree on things. Maybe you should mention that and get her checked out to see if those could be a possibility? Just a suggestion. Hope things get better. Also there are those days with every mother that they don't want to be near their child, but you still do it because one you love them, two remember they are the best gift you could ever get. Sometimes you will have to let her cry. Crying will not kill her and you do still need to take care of yourself.I hope things better, but see if it could Acid Reflux. It's just like Collic but is a little worse.

Ashleigh - posted on 05/06/2010

It sounds like you have my son. It could be colic, but my son was different. He is considered a "high needs" baby. You should look it up and see if it fits some of the things she does. My son never slept, always screamed and it was for sure not colic. He is a very difficult 2 year old now haha. I know what you mean by saying you dont like her, I had the same feelings towards my son when he was a baby, heck some days even now it's the same!! I haven't met any other moms yet with a "high needs" child. Let me know if it sounds like her, and we can chat :) Talk to your doctor too, they give you alot of help with coping with it.

Natalie - posted on 05/06/2010

talk to your dr about this my daughter has days like this but she was a premie and we found if we didnt keep her on some kind of tummy medicine she was fussy like that all day fighting sleep and everything else she might need to be on formula alone or she may just need a medicine to help unless she is colic they make bottles to help with that also and ive found if she doesnt get all her burps out she freaks till theyre out so i would just talk to the dr because mine says if they fuss more than 3 hours then we're supposed to call them because usually that means something is wrong so i dont know how helpful that was but that is what it sounds like to me like a belly ache if my daughter doesnt get her medicine like its directed if we skip a dose she freaks then we go oh yeah the med. then shes fine and passes out :) i hope that helps you

Kiana - posted on 05/06/2010

oh you poor thing!!!! I'm not going to offer advice or anything because it seems everyone has already said the things I would suggest hang in there and keep us posted xxx

Muffyn - posted on 05/06/2010

Sorry to hear that you are having it rough but does she have colic?If not maybe try soft music or massaging her head or feet that calms a baby down alot ...or sing to her...my niece is a cry baby ..my mother nor my sister can put her down and now when I hold her she clings to me but she's spoiled ...She loves to be picked up and my oldest daughter was like that too...But remember if the baby feel you being fustrated she will cry , babies can feel tension ...Is she like that with everyone ? try to see if she will fall asleep on dad or Grandma

Natalie - posted on 05/06/2010

I noticed everyone mentioning collic, but I am wondering how well she feeds when she does eat and if she has excessive YELLOW spit up. She could have an obstruction or a twist in her intestines that is causing her pain and poor feeding habits. The yellow vomit would be an indicator of that as well as listlesness and just simply not wanting to feed because it is painful in the end.

Take her to the doctor if she starts loosing weight and talk to your doctor.

My son had some mild collic that we were able to solve simply by giving him tummy crunches, we would take his legs and fold them up to his chest and push down just a little and after a few of those he would burp or fart really big and that was the end of his discomfort. But if your little girl is crying sunrise to sunset my intuition says there's something a little more wrong than some collic that she may or may not grow out of.

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2010

you should try gripe water, ive never had to use it but i know some one that did and they said it works wonders.. you can get it at babies r us.. she might just be a DIVA!! haha jk thats what i call both of my girls when they are cranky.. good luck

Misty - posted on 05/06/2010

lol my son was the same way... never drove me nuts until lately. he is 3 and worst than ever so i cant offer any comfort and say she will get better.

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2010

My son had colic, and I felt the same way..I was a lone because my husband was deployed to Iraq and my son cried allll day and allll night...It was very hard..but it will get better I can promise you that...i switched my son to Allimentum Formula by Similac and it did help some...try that!! Feel Better!!!

Jasmine - posted on 05/06/2010

Both of my kids had colic at the beginning. I KNOW exactly how you feel. I found that with my 2nd one being in a sling actually calmed him down. I carried him around even when he was awake til he was like 4 months old. Whatever works, right! We were still having lots of issues with him fighting sleeping. If this continues please read: Solving Your Children's Sleeping Problems by Dr. Ferber. It has saved my life!
Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. I went through it twice. I cried a lot. You feel helpless. I will get better....I am proof!! Please take some time for yourself. Even if you just leave the house to go for a walk. Hope things are better for you soon.

Abby - posted on 05/06/2010

Don't feel bad, the fact that you can admit this is a big deal. I think many women go through this. I am a teacher at a preschool and have heard many horror stories. Stick with it, she will get better. You can do it. You will be thankful and will bond.

Yvette - posted on 05/06/2010

poor stacy take her back to the doctor and let the doctor know ur concerns she might have an ear infection or colic or something my daughter was the same way she cried till i just walked away from her till she fell asleep take her back to the doc and as the man in the house he is man they can be so insensitive but remind him that you all are a family and you will get through this... trust me ur midwife is right it will get better

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2010

OMG, there were days I would almost fantasize about dropping my child off at an orphanage until she was older!!! Sounds like colic and I know exactly how you feel!!! You are not a bad mom,you're a wonderful momma who will get through this, and one day your daughter will be a wonderful, not crying 24/7 little girl! Hang in there!!!

Jackie - posted on 05/06/2010

My son had colic when he was little as well. It will get easier. If your man wont help you then youve got to learn some tools to help you out yourself. I know some moms will disagree but there are times when you just have to lay her down in a safe secure spot and take a few minutes for yourself. Make sure you can see her and just go stand on the porch for a few minutes. Just long enough to compose yourself. Even if its just a few minutes to hold your son. A friend of mine had the same problem and they told her to stop nursing and put him on these special bottles with special formula. You're not the worst mom at all. In fact if we would all be totally honest with ourselves and each other, most moms of colicy children have felt that way at least once.

Katherine - posted on 05/06/2010

Your not a bad mom. Right now my daughter is going through the same thing though she is 8 months old now. She wants to be held constantly and cries over little things and thrashes about like she's throwing a tantrum. I get to the point where I just sit down and cry with her. My boyfriend helps but he works 3rd shift.My mom helps too but its not the same. She went through this @ like a month and a half until she was almost 4 months. I was so tired and I felt like a terrible mom because I was having a hard time. My midwives gave me the best advice though. They said " Contrary to what ever one says Being a Mom is one of the Hardest things You'll ever do but eventually it will also Be the Most rewarding" They also refer to the first 3 months as the 4th trimester. So just hang in there things will get better.

Jessica - posted on 05/06/2010

My little guy is 7 weeks old today. I have spent the better part of today teary-eyed and uptight because he began to cry beginning this morning and is currently being held by my husband as I write (crying still)..
I say this because you are not alone in feeling like you are not the picture perfect mother cuddling and cooing with your little one. It will truly come though. We have found some relief with gripe water, swaddling, baths, and he was diagnosed with reflux. He is beginning to refuse feedings and I would recommend that you call your midwife and ask them to check his ears, for teething, or something physiological that is causing your little gals discomfort. When this passes and it will you have the ability to bond for more than just surviving the next bout of screaming. I am sorry that this is you guy's beginning together

Emma - posted on 05/06/2010

definatly colic! my eldest was like that for first 8 to 12 wks and its cause there in pain with there stomach! u could visit the docs and see what they can prescribe but i live in uk and found something called colief as tried everything else and didnt work but i have also heard gripe water can help!if you were just bottle feeding i would say change the bottles as sumtimes babies suck in a lot of air when there feeding and you can now get bottles with teats that have gt a hole in the side of the teat to let air out before the baby drinks it! it does get better this is not her personality forever she just may be in pain and it is very frustrating! it will pass you think that phase will last forever but it doesnt! my twin girls are 5 months now and when they were new born they fed every 2 nd half hrs and didnt settle properly afterward and also cried alot in the day! this phase passed when they learnt they could do other things apart from cry! a new born has no way of expressing there emotions as they cnt smile etc so they cry! you also need more support if you can someone to take the baby for few hours? speak to your health visitor in the uk we have people that will come and help you out for few hours if your at the end of your tether and to give you a break! you will get through these hard few months!

Jonquil - posted on 05/06/2010

*hugs* My son was just like that as a newborn. I felt like a terrible mother too because there were times when he was driving me crazy and I just did not like him at all and felt like he hated me. Something that really turned things around for me was the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. This book is like the Bible for parents of babies that just don't like to cooperate at all like the majority (i.e. colicky babies and such). It helped me to better understand why my son was acting that way, and also gave priceless tips on what I could do to keep him calm and happy. I cannot recommend this book nor the second book The Happiest Toddler on the Block highly enough for us parents that end up with the very active, emotional, perceptive children. They have kept me sane.

Kiara - posted on 05/06/2010

Wow...is she colic? She sounds like she really might be uncomfortable. You may want to get her checked out. Every baby is different and you really need a sitter or her dad needs to step up because this is going to drive you crazy. Your son does need time with you. Lay her down and step out on the front porch...its just like you being in another room....just don't lock yourself out! :) You aren't a bad mom, but you are having a rough time.

Carly - posted on 05/06/2010

It will get better!! Babies grow up eventaully, until then you really need to just try and get through this all together as a family!! Your husband seriously needs to understand how your feeling and he should be helping you not making you feel worse. See another midwife too, sounds to me you may have a little bit of pnd! That's not always nessercarily refusing your child, it can affect you in so many different ways!! I wish you all the best, and like I said it can only get better, not worse!!

Trishta - posted on 05/06/2010

i understand have you took her to the doctor because she might have collec there could be a few things. please be stay calm with her just remember she is a baby and she is trying to tell you something is wrong.

Crystal - posted on 05/06/2010

take her to the dr or let her cry she maybe a little spoiled some babies come out spoiled and they say if u have a good baby the 2nd one will be h*** so good luck

April - posted on 05/06/2010

your are not a bad mom! i have to tell myself that all the time lol. My third child my daughter has been like that since she was 2 weeks old although as she gets older the sreaming fits are slowly subsiding. we learned that she was holding inher bowel movements and have to have her on laxitives for a while to flush her system. I do wish u the best

Angel - posted on 05/06/2010

you are not a bad mom! babies can be hard to take care of sometimes just take a deep breath and calm down, you should take her to the dr. to see if she is colic, it will be ok. if you have to let her cry that ok...you have to let your son know that you are still his mommy too. even if it is for 5 minutes put her down and hold him and tell him you love him...sweetie it will get better i promise.

Jada - posted on 05/06/2010

oh hun, its ok, every mom feels like this some time or the other, i always say the first baby is a trick, becuase if your first baby was like this, would you have had another probably not, which would lead to the population halving all the time along haha, the best advise is when you get super stressed out, put her in her crib, crying or not, and close her door, walk outside and get some fresh air, crying isnt gunna hurt her, and shes safe in her crib while you have a second to regroup. dont ever feel like your a bad mom, its just as hard for her to communicate her true feelings to you, as it is for you to communicate yours to her

Lindsay - posted on 05/06/2010

I understand 100%. My son, who is 4, was an amazing baby. So easy to take care of. Then came my baby girl. She is the complete oppsite of him. The screaming and yelling, always NEEDING my undivided attention. I actaully said the same thing to myself several months ago. It was very frusterating and a little scary for me, and I am sure you too. I thought to myself about going to get checked for post pardom, but with in a week things changed. NOT her, sorry for the hope, but with me. Things just clicked, she is different and needs to be treated different. Her personality is much stronger then her brothers and I try to do my best to juggle them both. BUT if she is screaming and crying and she is ok...ie, not hungry, hurt, sick, just wants to be clingy I now let her cry. Its not always easy, espec when you feel like you are less of a mother to your older child. Now that they are siblings they need to understand you have to spend time with the other, even if it means some crying. Your husband needs to back you up and jump on board. Take the baby for awhile so you can have 1 on 1 time with your son. That is very important. Oh yeah and stay in the shower for an extra 10 mins or so while the kids are happy. Thants how I regroup.

Kristina - posted on 05/06/2010

i am so sorry to here wut u are goin through my son is 3 and he was a reallly good baby ate well slept well didnt mind being put down, i am now 22 weeks pregnant with me 2nd son and that is wat i am worried about the most the fact that i got it really easy with my 1st one the curse that this one might be a lil colicy or fussy kinda scares me i hope to here things get better just remember sumtimes u can just let her cry set her in a safe place and walk away for a few to gather your thoughts

Kacee - posted on 05/06/2010

It will get better! My baby cried for 3 months straight. I don't think she ever stopped crying. I can remember at one point (my wake up moment to ask for help and desert my pride) she was in her bouncy chair on the floor. I had the sides of that chair in my hands and they clenched until my knuckles were white. And as if someone smacked me in the back of the head, I realized I needed a break. I went outside (and yes let her scream her head off) smoke a cigarette (a disgusting vice I know) and called my cousin/best friend. I needed help. You have to find help, and if there's no family in the area call the hospital. Oftentimes the county has nurses they send out for things such as this, to show you how to help her possibly or to show you how to help yourself regain your sanity. I know asking is hard, I always felt like if I asked for help I was failing, but I was ignorant and wrong. 9 months later there are still times I ask for a babysitter for a few hours just to sit at the park near my house and read a book.

Tiffany - posted on 05/06/2010

gripe water!! my gf had a colic baby, sounds exactly how you're describing dd. there's also a prescription u can get, but she had a very hard time getting her doc to give it to her-they refused to admit the baby was colicy FOR 6 MONTHS!. hang in there, it does get better, and you will be amazed how much of a different baby you will have after the colic is addressed. try to find some time for you and your son, see if a friend or mom or somebody will watch her for an hour or 2 even, take a shower, plan something fun with your son, and try to squeak in a small nap. i remember so many people offering to help out with my 1st baby and i refused because i thought i would be taking advantage of people. who was i to ask them to wash a load of laundry? or do my dishes. lol. but after i had my second, i jumped at a lot more offers. i remember the 1st one was a long hot shower followed by a brief nap. it was so refreshing and boosted my mood 10 fold.

Erin - posted on 05/06/2010

Don't you dare think that you are a bad mommy! Being a mommy is the hardest job in the world! I would seriously consider the things that the other mom's have suggested...get a can of soy formula and a bottle of gas drops...worst case scenario you are out $30...best case...your baby feels better and you get some peace! the soy and gas medicine won't hurt anything and it will be a start to trying to figure out whats wrong. Hang in there Momma...this too shall pass.

Suzie - posted on 05/06/2010

It definitly sounds like colic and you are not alone, it can be hard we love our babies but some times we dont like them and it can be frustrating. I hope you have family taht can help you during this time, mayb try to get some one to be with ur daughter 1 or 2 days a weeka nd that way you can spend time with ur little man and not b so frustrated. I really wish yout he best, hang in there!

Rosita - posted on 05/06/2010

Oh Stacey, The things you said does not make u a bad mother at all. When we have children they are all different and its highly rare that your children end up a like. I am a mother of 3, my oldest is a boy and he was such a wonderful baby just like how you said ur son was. Then came my second child which was a girl, oh man was she sooooo much different than her older brother we use to joke all the time about how she was little miss Diva Deja. I swear I hardly even got a wink of sleep. she was non stop from morning to night and would wake up every night more than twice for a bottle. even when she got a lil older. she was so high maintenance, it was crazy just like a diva ;) would be. Sadly when she was 17 months old she passed away, 2 years this June. When you look into your daughter eyes when shes screaming,yelling and crying and feel all the love u have for her take a deep breath and feel blessed because other mothers and I who have their princess turn into a princess angel could only dream and wish of doing that to there daughter again. When it came down to it I even miss the crying and screaming. Last July I had another baby and he was a boy and again nothing like my princess, he such a wonderful baby :) that I thank god everyday for blessing me with. Hes even different than his older brother. So for my kids they were all different in there own way. Things will get better stacey and u will grow closer to your daughter when she gets a lil older. Enjoy all those shopping trips :) with tons of love and hugs ur way ♥ Rosie

Shawna - posted on 05/06/2010

I'm sorry it is so hard for you sounds like the colic but also if you are staying tense and upset around her she is also reading off of you.

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 05/06/2010

Have you heard of Dr. Karp? He has a technique to help soothe screaming babies. You can look up videos on YouTube too.
http://www.happiestbaby.com/

Abby - posted on 05/06/2010

thats the way my little girl was...i wouldnt get sleep and at the time i was a single mother taking care of my daughter and my mother who had cancer...its hard..especially when she was my first..shes now 9 months old and she doesnt cry alot and she is a very happy baby..it gets better i promise...crying wont kill her...if you get frustrated she can sense that and it makes her more upset...just set her down and go in another room gather your thoughts calm down and try again...sometimes babies just cry to cry..it will get bettter

Melissa - posted on 05/06/2010

You aren't a bad mom, you are just stressed. Maybe look for someone to help out around like a in law or friend with your daughter so you and your son can spend some time together. My daughter is now 8 months and was never much of a cryer just constantly wanted to be held and never sleeped...we bought the fisher price little lamb swing and it was a true god send. Rather than her sleep for 30 mins and wake up grumpy she would nap for like 2 hours and wake up smiling! We even used it at night so we could sleep, just put it our room and tucked the blanket in on the sides. I even fed her in it at times so she would sleep more at night without a huge issue! Good luck!

Corina - posted on 05/06/2010

im sorry your having a hard time right now.i was the same way but it was cause i was overwhelmed.i was doing everything my daughter's father didnt help with anything b/c he was scared to hurt her.but it will get better just take a lil break every now and then so you wont be so stressed.

Heather - posted on 05/06/2010

You aren't a bad mom! You're stressed and not getting help. That's WAY different. Besides you said you feel that way you didn't say you act on it.
Ask for help if you need it. No one will blame you if you feel overwhelmed and if they do it's their own stupidity talking.
I wish you the best of luck!!!!