Would my 1st born child feel bad if my 2nd child has a different last name?

Mellissa - posted on 06/26/2012

I am the middle child of three. My sister is 27 I am 26 and my brother is 20. Me and my sister have the same last name and my brother has a diffrent last name. Growing up non of us cared about the diffrent last names. As far as we were concerned we were family. The only way children feel left out is through the actions of the people around them. Having diffrent last names did not affect any of us badly at all.

Ronnie - posted on 06/26/2012

Maybe you could hyphenate yours and your soon to be hubby's last names. That way your first child won't be left out because you both share your last name

Jennifer - posted on 06/24/2012

I honestly don't think your child would care. My suggestion, give them the same name (yours) if you happen to get married when you change your name file to change your childrens, the judge will undoubtably approve it with or without the fathers permission.

Stifler's - posted on 06/23/2012

That would honestly be the last thing on my mind. It doesn't matter what your last name is, especially if you all live in the same house you are family. What happens when you get married if your kids are your last name and you want to take his? Someone will always have a different last name unless he takes yours.

Stacy - posted on 06/22/2012

Yes, now I understand lol sounds great Brittany :-)

Brittany - posted on 06/19/2012

Nope I think your confused.

My boyfriends children have his last name.
My son has my last name.
The baby will be the only one with the hypenated name - so the baby will share his/her name with everyone - and everyone will have their last name included in the babies :) My children are older now, my son seven and my step kids are 14/16, were trying to blend them all together and with the baby having the hypenated name he/she will be the connection - if that makes sence lol None of my boys have seem upset with the idea of a shared last name - I too would feel awful if I just gave baby my bf's name and my son was left out in the cold.. baby will have 2 last names and one of them will be the same as his :)

Stacy - posted on 06/19/2012

Brittany that's also for you but I have a question, All of your kids will have a hyphenate name with your last name- his last name? And the son with a different last name will allow that? I'm so afraid that if i asked my first born's father if we can change it to match a hyphenated name with the unborn that he would probably get mad and would want to change her last name to his even though he wasn't around till she was 2 1/2.

Stacy - posted on 06/19/2012

Haley are you planning on being together with the father forever? Or get married in the future? Well besides that maybe just give the new-born your last name to match your first born, then when you 2 get married and you change your last name, you can change the kids also. But I've heard that is might cost more money in the long run. So let me know what your family has decided. I fear that if this baby is a boy that my boyfriend's family might not be to happy with not having his last name go on to his son.

Stacy - posted on 06/19/2012

Haley my first born's dad wasn't around until she was 2 1/2 years old so by default she took my last name. Now I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend of 2-3 years we aren't married even though he's been ready for marriage for awhile but now that I'm pregnant I don't want a shoot gun wedding just because I'm pregnant. I haven't been ready for marriage because I wasn't ready to speed up my first born's father's marriage to his girlfriend and then my daughter will have a step-mom. Well after I talked it through with my unborn's father, this is what we have discussed. Since I can't change my first born's last name to mine and my current bf's last name she will remain with my last name so I even don't wanna change my last name when we get married because I want to remain tided to my first born, she is the love of my life. Also since I want my kids to feel equal and like whole siblings we have decided to just give the unborn my last name. I mean they both are my kids whether there dad's are different, they both came from me. But believe you me I would love to get away from my father's last name since he's been not the best father, but in my child's best interest I want my family to feel like a family not different or unloved. Then when my kids turn 18 they can change there last name if they want and wouldn't bother me, just so that they have the best child hood ever. I wish my situation was different so I wouldn't have to worry about these things, but my children are my life and I want them to be loved so much and have a normal loving childhood. Brittany that's also for you but I have a question, All of your kids will have a hyphenate name with your last name- his last name? And the son with a different last name will allow that? I'm so afraid that if i asked my first born's father if we can change it to match a hyphenated name with the unborn that he would probably get mad and would want to change her last name to his even though he wasn't around till she was 2 1/2.

Brittany - posted on 06/15/2012

I'm also in the same position - my 7 year old son has my last name, I"m currently pregnant by a different man, we are not married, and for a long time I was fighting this child needs to have my last name as well. He also has children - with his last name.

Recently I've decided to hypenate new baby's name. So the child will have both last names, and this will include my son in the feeling so he is not left out,it will also include his children so they are not left out - and if I do get married I will also hypenate my name, once again not leaving my son without sharing a name with his sibling, or myself :)

Haley - posted on 06/15/2012

I am in a similar situation except my kids have the same father. My oldest has his and my youngest has mine because wasn't around for the pregnancy and still isn't really around. But now I worry that my son(my oldest) will not feel loved because his sister ( my youngest) has mine. I'm trying to decide if I should change my sons. I want to have the same last name. I would ask how your new boy friend feels about your newborn having your last name. Explian how you feel about your oldest feeling left out. Or give the new born both and hyphen the last so it has both.