You are to young to be a mom!!

Kristi - posted on 09/08/2009

I just totally ignore it when people assume that I'm my 8 y.o.'s sister. It's not so bad right now while I'm pregnant. It tends to aggravate my mom when they assume he's her son, not mine. I want to ask if they'd like to see the c-section scar!! LOL. I just try and remind myself that they're just jealous and that when I'm my mom's age, people will assume my son's kids are mine! ^_^

Emily - posted on 09/08/2009

I feel your pain I had twins at 19 so I got that alot when they were babies but I still get it People say that I look like I'm 18-20(I'm 26) and my boys are 6 almost 7 years old so you can imagine the looks I get. lol

Nicole - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my son when I was 17. I got asked that all the time. I'm almost 21 now and people still say I look 16... not old enough to have a 3 year old. The funniest time was when I had a guy actually arguing with me saying my son couldn't be mine. I was like you wanna see the stretch marks to prove it?! I lifted my shirt and told him to stop being an ass. He apologized and walked away.

Dallas - posted on 09/08/2009

Theyre just jealous cuz you have cute kids and your still cute:) I had my first when I was 17 and I get it alot now im 23 and I have 3 kids and I get it even more when Im with my mom cuz she doesnt look old enough to be my mom:)

Megan - posted on 09/08/2009

I so understand! We have a 16 week old baby and I just turned 21 and my fiance is 22. I hear the snickers and judgemental comments when I go places. The stares and the dirty looks are the worst though. Its like they assume since im young I must be a bad mother. Well im not! My son always is fed burped changed and most important loved!

Shaina - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first when I was 19, now I'm 21 and expecting my 2nd. This is how I see it: I've been living on my own since I was 18, taking care of myself, my partner and I have been living together since I was pregnant with the 1st child, we take care of our own and are having a 2nd one. There are older adults who are married with kids that can't say the same. I'd like for someone to point out what's "wrong" with being a young parent. I grew up a long time ago, before my first born, and yet I know 30 year olds who never have.

Monet - posted on 09/08/2009

i think the only time your to young to be a mom is from 10 to about 17. anythng after that to me is fine if you are on your own and taking care of yourself. the women who look down on you caz your young are just looking at all us 20 somethings like the high school kids that are having kids, caz they think they can do it better. trust me i get that some feeling from my own mom when she talks to me

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2009

I dont really get that.... around where I live the teen preggo rate is REALLY high so people are always amazed that I was 22 [21 when i got preggo] married and PLANNED to have a baby.... They think that Im some kind of saint because I didnt get knocked up at 15.....

Sarah - posted on 09/08/2009

i get this all the time!!...i had my first when i was 16 and yes it was too young but the thing is when it comes to what others say you should ask yourself why their saying it...

"oh sorry i thought she was your sister"....translation: your keeping your age well!

to all those people who are uncomforteble when this issue comes up,if the person saying it to you has a child then reply like this....im sure being a grandma is a tone of fun!!!..lol so all us young mums should hold our heads up high and enjoy those who dont judge us!!....life is way to short to worry bout those why try to drag us down..

Frances - posted on 09/08/2009

tell people to mind thier own buisness. i know it sounds blunt but there are teenagers out there having babies and 21 isnt to yound!

Kara - posted on 09/08/2009

I get this all the time.....it's really annoying and sometimes insulting!

Jenny - posted on 09/08/2009

im 24 and i decided to start a family when my dad passed away. i was 22 at the time and thought i had so little time with my dad. If anything like this was to happen to me then i want as much time with my children as possible. i dont look my age and dont think i ever will (i still sometimes get asked for id for lottery which is the biggest insult) but i dont care! if people want to be rude and judgemental then thats their problem. All i know is i am so happy with my little boy and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. he makes me smile everyday and i couldnt imagine life without him.

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first when I was 18, I am now 28. I am younger than all of the kids moms at school, and you know what? Mine is the top of his class, the brightest, and the most caring, kind kid. I feel like I have done a wonderful job with the boys (Aidan came when I was 20) I feel like the other moms do not treat me the way they treat each other, and it is something I have come to accept and be okay with. Some of them judge all too quickly, that just because I had my children young, I did not parent them well, and I am probably "poor" etc. I see those looks. Its okay, at the end of the day....Im happy with me and how I have raised my children. Yes I had them young, but I would not have changed my life even for a minute. (Take it as a compliment some of them just wish they looked as great as you do) :-)

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first when I was 18, I am now 28. I am younger than all of the kids moms at school, and you know what? Mine is the top of his class, the brightest, and the most caring, kind kid. I feel like I have done a wonderful job with the boys (Aidan came when I was 20) I feel like the other moms do not treat me the way they treat each other, and it is something I have come to accept and be okay with. Some of them judge all too quickly, that just because I had my children young, I did not parent them well, and I am probably "poor" etc. I see those looks. Its okay, at the end of the day....Im happy with me and how I have raised my children. Yes I had them young, but I would not have changed my life even for a minute. (Take it as a compliment some of them just wish they looked as great as you do) :-)

Vanessa - posted on 09/08/2009

I was 19 when I had my first he is 8 now. I got all kinds of crazy looks but yes it does great better. I have 3 now and I am only 27, and look younger but it's ok let them look and you don't have to listen to those older Moms just ignore them and enjoy your babies

Cherilyn - posted on 09/08/2009

OK.. all i can say is i am still in the same boa i have two children and i am only twenty... When people ask if they are mine or anything all i say is yes and i love being a mom it is the best gift in the world... but look at it this way you were and still are a young mom, by your picture you look young.. but when your kids are ten and eleven you will be able to be more active and experience more with them as if you had them when you were 30. so just think of that and be proud of your children and even tho you had them young YOU are the one who will always be there and YOU are the one who is taking care of them... so don't be embarrssed or angry some ppl just dont understand why young ppl are keeping kids i mean every time i see my grandma she always says i cant believe you had them so young you should of waited you should of gave them away. so i understand just don take it to the heart

Cassandra - posted on 09/08/2009

I know exactly how you feel. I met my husband when I was 16...he was 22 with a 19 month old son. We married a couple years later and I was a step mom to a child fourteen years my junior. Then, we were approached by the state with my biological niece who needed a home. She was five months old and we took her in without question. Now that we have finalized the adoption on her we found out that we are expecting. I am 21 years old and due next month...this baby makes 3 for me ... When someone tells you that you are too young, let them know that is better to be young and enjoy it than older and miserable...

Megan - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my daughter in 2007 two weeks before i turned 21, no one really says anything they just give looks, its kinda upsetting but thats there own problem....

Juliana - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first child at age 20 in December of 2008, she was born with Spina Bifida. Now for anyone that knows exactly what that is, would know its hard enough the way it is.. Stop staring at me and look beyond what you see. I know that there are many of young moms out there who take just as good of care and who care just as much as a younger mom would!!! Next time you see us how about trying to leave a good comment like -wow your child is beautiful =)

Lucy - posted on 09/08/2009

Well, people still ask me if I know what I want to do when I graduate High School. I like to inform them that I have already completed college and have a real job :) So I guess I don't take it as all that rude. If I look like I should still be in HS, I can appreciate that people would think it is messed up for me to have a child when they think I am 15. Quite frankly, there are alot of idiots out there having sex and children at age 12. It may offend some, but I don't think it is ok for children to have children and if you can not legally have a job due to child labor laws, then you are not old enough to have a child. If you are asking your parents to take care of you and your child because you have no means to support yourself, then maybe you need to grow up before getting knocked up. Obviously, you do not fall into this catigory. However, if I were you, I would just keep in mind that these people making these comments are bad at estimating age and are judging you based on false information they think they have. Then come up with a witty way to show them how foolish they are. (My new favorite thing to tell people when they think my daughter is my sibling is to tell them what my actual little brother is up to like "oh, this isn't my little sister! (big grin) My little brother is in medical school . . . my mother hasn't had a child in a couple decades! This is my daughter! (another big grin)" A comment like this tends to make people turn red with embarassment without you having to justify yourself. I also think that when you communicate confidently about this topic rather than getting mad, it is actually more effective. Good luck!

Shelly - posted on 09/08/2009

As long as you actually take care of your children, that's the most important part. Most people think I am atleast 5 years younger than I am. I am 28. My daughter is 8 and my son is 5. At an amusement park with my 41 y/o sister, 15 y/o neice and my daughter, I did the age guesser thing and the lil girl thought I was 21. I figure she thought my sister was all of our moms! I do the PTO thing, school board meetings and all.

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2009

I am 26 yrs old i have 4 children people look at me like im a 12 yr old child. but All of my children are mine and my hubbys i have been with him since i was 16 yrs old. We were at walmart once and the cashier looked at hubby said you have 3 beautiful children. Well We had only had our 2 boys with us. so she was meaning me as his child. I was very offended. I even had my wedding ring on. but i just laugh about it now. I love my kids and that is all that matters.

Krista - posted on 09/08/2009

I have 5 children and it never fails that whenever someone finds out, EVERY ONE of them says, "you don't look old enough to have 5 children". Well, guess what, if I wasn't old enough, I wouldn't. I did, however have 4 before I was 21. Whether or not they mean it as a compliment, I take it as one. I had my kids when I was young, and I'll still be young when they're all grown up :)

Catriona - posted on 09/08/2009

really agree with you,i was 22 when we had our first daughter I used to basically hide myself , but have three kiddies now and couldnt give a damn. Very proud of our little family and everything we have achieved as a couple.

Also, its very hard to find parents as young as us that are genuinely happy with eachother,!

Jessica - posted on 09/08/2009

I completely understand! I had my daughter when I was 20. I feel the same way about older mothers not having the same respect for me because I am young. Whatever! I raise my daughter practically alone (husband is in the military) and she is doing great! Just ignore them! :)

Hearty Cindy - posted on 09/08/2009

I take it as a compliment. it means that i look young for my age. well, as we all know every women will take every measure to look young, now that someone have said that to you, maybe its really effective. hehehe... besides, if that's the case.. why not laugh about it... you now better!!!!

I was 24 when i had my son. now im 26... nothing followed yet. but i look younger than my age and also physically because im naturally small... my son is also overwieght and has grown already to half my height. it shows that my son is bigger than me, but i take pride in showing off that he is my son...

it doesnt matter how you look or your age... its the way you carry your son/daughter to be a good person that matters. don't care about them criticizing or if its a compliment... its what you do that matters... you know better...

Nickel - posted on 09/08/2009

You all should not care what people think. I had my son at the age of 20 years old and i love the fact that we can run and play football together. My son is very active and i plan to be active with him.

Jade - posted on 09/08/2009

I totally understand what you mean Jennifer, Im 21 and my daughter is 15 months old. When she was first born and we used to go out, so many older people (women, men and OAPs) would tell me how lovely she was and be really chatty and then when they asked how old i was and i told them, they totally changed their tune, they would criticise me telling me i was to young to be a mum and then totally ignore me. I just don't understand why they think that all young mum's are going to do bad jobs of being parents.

Leanne - posted on 09/08/2009

my mum was 17 when she had my olderst sister and 19 when she had me and that was only 22 years ago lololol

Leanne - posted on 09/08/2009

i had my oldest at 17 i will be 22 in November i got married a month after my 21st i also have a 16month old it was so fun when i had my 4year old i know this next bit is a bit off course but when i had my oldest our government had brought in a $3000 baby bones till after i founf out i had know idea that any such thing existed so not only did i cop it about that but even from people in my home town i had 1 duck come up to me and told me i was only doing it for the money i stood my ground and told her quite blankly that see had know idea what she was saying and that she should keep her nose out of other peoples business.......



i had another duck say i was to young to have a child i just turned and said at lest im not 13 having 1 and that and that by the time you where 17 you where already married with at lest1 child in the old days....



even now my hubby and i get some odd looks especially when we have both of the girls with us lolololololol

Kris - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first baby when I was 18, and my son when I was 20, now Im just 25 and my kids are just look like my brother and sister..But I dont have problem when people sometimes ask if they are my sister and brother and doesnt bother me at all. We have good relationship but theres always border and they should not forget that Im their mom and they always respect that.

Shateka - posted on 09/08/2009

wellll i just turned 21 in feb and i have 3 children. my oldest is 5 and my youngest is 4 months old, i get the same things and those looks that make you wanna slap people. hears what i do i just politely answer that these are my children and i wouldnt trade them for the world. the looks and comments calm down once they find out your married so try to fit the word husband in as much as you can, i know its belittling but you have to take it in stride you know your a good mother!!! Let them think what they want but how many of those women are actually happily married or ever where married at all

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first child when i was 19. shes 5 months now and there isnt an insult in the world that could change how much i love her and how happy she makes me. i got dirty looks all the time and even my fiance's family said i got pregnant on purpose just to keep him around. (which couldnt be farther from the truth) i always say if i was born 100 or 200 years ago i would have been married at 16 and already have 5 kids. dont worry about what anyone else thinks or says. as long as ur happy thats all that matters!!! :)

Tabitha - posted on 09/08/2009

I was 16 when I got pregnant with my first and 17 when I had him. Usually when anybody says anything I'll look at their kids and say, "Oh and are these your grandchildren?" But I say it in a sugary sweet voice. It may be mean but when they are openly being rude to you I don't think it hurts to stand up for yourself. My sister was 21 when she had her first son but she was always really really little so he really looked like a brother instead of a son. She still lets alot of what people say get to her. I think as long as you know who you are and your child knows who you are, others opinions shoudn't count. Just focus on keeping your family happy and don't worry about them.

Catie - posted on 09/08/2009

When my husband and I were only just dating, I was confused to be his mother! Imagine that woman's embarrassment. Because I look a lot older, people never really think about my age since I have a two year old, but when they hear that I am only 24, then they kind of freak out, and are like, ohh, well, hmmm... It is horrible that a woman in her twenties is considered young to be having children, especially since our mothers were in their twenties, and our grandmothers were most likely teenagers, my g-ma was 17 when she had my oldest uncle and 20 when my mother was born, but no one said, oh, well your awfully young!

Jennifer - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first son right after I turned 17 and my second son right after I turned 21. I've gotten so many dirty looks and nasty comments, it's sickening. After a while I learned to look at these older moms and let them know that I would be done raising my children at a much younger age, and be able to enjoy myself at a much younger age. I also would make sure to tell them that I was more than capable of taking care of my boys, regardless of what they thought. I realized that if I showed them it didn't bother me, it seemed to bother them even more. Kill 'em with kindness!!

Rachel - posted on 09/08/2009

I know what you mean fellow young mothers, I have been struggling(if you want to call it a struggle) with my "face age" my whole life. I've been asked what grade I'm in many times-- I'm like.." I've graduated college and have 2 children, ACTUALLY. " LOL. I'm 25 and I've gotten the "Are these YOUR babies?" Especially since I'm black and my children are mixed(half white) and their skin is like 6 shades lighter than mine. It doesn't help that my babies are so close together in age (1 and 3 mo.), so I also tend to get "HOW far apart are they?!!" or these "she must be crazy" looks when I'm walking around Wal-mart with one baby in the shopping cart seat and a car seat in the shopping cart basket (what a sight!) like "Where did you get THOSE babies from?????"

Lynsey - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my first child at 21 too. No one has really said anything like that to me but you can tell some of the older mom's def don't respect the younger moms as much. They think because they are older means they know more about being a mom then the younger moms do but we are smarter having them when we did. When I am 40 both of my kids will be out of high school and theirs will be just in elementary,lol!!! I love being a mom of 2 kids 4 and 3 at 26 years old. I wouldn't change a thing!!!

Annika - posted on 09/08/2009

err.. i know the feeling!! I live in Germany where the average age when women have their first baby is around 35. Im 22 and even in the hospital a lot of the other mothers were giving me dirty looks as if i was 13 or something.. Often when im out in town with my little i also notice a lot of people looking at me funny.

Joanne - posted on 09/08/2009

I totally agree! I am 27, and still get carded for stuff, and when I tell people that I am a mother of twins, they get this 'headlight in the eyes' look, like I've just told them the planet is going to explode! Not to mention, my hubby happens to be 42, and people ask him if he is my brother or my father! I also have the same problem with older mothers....looking at me like I'm nuts when I don't let my girls just put any old thing in their mouth or crawl around in some dirty floor. Ugggh!

Alisha - posted on 09/08/2009

Some people out there really just need to keep there mouths closed. Im 21 and pregnant with my second child who is planned. I fell pregnant at 19 and coped the most disgusting looks. My partner and me are together, and both love our son more than anything in this world, yet still get stared at and have people ask if he is ours when were out. I love having a pregnant tummy, and think that i have the right to be proud of it without having to deal with stares and bad comments from people who know nothing about me or my life.

Jenny - posted on 09/08/2009

i was 19 when i had my first child and all i got was dirty looks cause i was young everyone kept telling me i was 2 young to have a child .. i dont think it should matter how old you are ...

Karen - posted on 09/08/2009

Quoting bridget:

i know what you mean i am 22 and my husband is 21 and we have 4 kids together if you can just imagine how people look at us

Gilr, My husband and I have been together since high school!  We now have five children and I am 26 and he is 28, now, can you imagine the responses we get?  Never mnid the fact that we are married, people don't care about marriage any more.  THey can also say the most cruel things, I wonder sometimes if they are trying to hurt our feelings! I do have this personal saying that, "if you are not helping contribute to this household, then your opinion doesn't matter, thank you!" and sometimes that will keep them quiet.  (sometimes)

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2009

I think that as long as you are comfortable with being a mom, brush those comments of you shoulder and just think you are able to keep up with those kids! I really dont think being older makes you a better mom I am 24 I had my first at 20 and I am married and have 2. I think being a mom makes you a better mom and up those who have no children doling out the advise what do they know anyway! be proud that you look young and dont let a stranger ruin your day but make theirs brighter with a smile and kindness and let them know that you are a great mom with your poise and dignity!

Joanne - posted on 09/08/2009

im 23 with 3 kids i had my 1st wen i was 19 and every one looked down their nose at me at least i had finished skool with gcse's i was living wit my partner who is the father to all 3 kids and i wasnt getting a penny of the social. I dont care what people think of me im a good mum and my kids r happy and healthy these ppl have not got anything better to do., Be proud of ur self and kids x

Amy - posted on 09/08/2009

I had my 1st boy when I was 20 I dont consider that being a young mum :s. A few of my close friends had children mid teens, thats being a young mum.

Kassie - posted on 09/08/2009

im 20 pregnant at 19 with my first a lot of complications meant always seeing doctors an since my partner worked nights i always went with my mum to appointments so they assumed i was a single mother who was a skank

Tracey - posted on 09/07/2009

Age has nothing to do with being a mom, i'm a young mom. If you can love your child unconditionally & provide for its every need who are other people to judge. Being a mom is alot more than just age so people should get over themselves this is the 20th century after all.

April - posted on 09/07/2009

oh and the most annoying part....going to the mall or riding in the car with my son and young guys trying to "holla" at me!! I always tell them, "cant you see I'm with my son? Have some respect!" and walk away leaving them bewildered! hahahaaa!

Jennifer - posted on 09/07/2009

Haha..It's funny to hear that we all get the same comments! I wonder if its the same group of old jealous asses that give us spring Chickie's a hard time. Maybe theirs only like five of them but the spend their pathetic lives insulting us because we make them feel even older.lol When I joined circle of moms I was happy to see this group. I felt like I was the only young mom out there.Now I see theirs a band of us and we will battle the old poopy fart heads as one!!! lol Thank you my sistas'! lol