"You're too ______ to have another baby."

Toni - posted on 12/15/2011

I hate hearing that. After my son was 3 yrs old or so my family kept asking when we were going to have another, but then now years later and I'm pregnant they say things like that. I just blow them off. My friends are the worst offenders.

Khali - posted on 12/12/2011

I've been told that many many times and mostly by my family.. Alot of the people I can call "friend" have kids so they mind their own business.. However my response tends to be "thank you for the concern, But I will have as many kids as I damn well please".. Some people do it out of a truely good and caring place and others do it out of jealousy and resentment... Stay strong.. And do what is right for you and, your family. Thats what really matters..

Emily - posted on 12/12/2011

Yes when my son was 4 yrs old now 6 I got pregnant with my 2 yr old and when I told my mom I was pregnant, she asked me are you sure this is what you want? That was very hurtful, and then when I got my pregnant with my 1 month old and I told her agian this time she said are you crazy you already have 2 as it is... I always thought mothers were suposed to be happy. Dont get me wrong though she is a great grandmother and the love her very much.

Christina - posted on 12/12/2011

i agree. getting tubes tied is a big decision. friends and family always ask if i'm going to get my tubes tied, but if i'm too young to have more kids then i would think i was too young to decided to end being able to have children. i'm still debating if i want to tie my tubes but i still think its rude of people to tell me to do it. who knows? one day i may get married, have lots of money, and may want more or i may not ever want more but its no one's business or decision, only mine. plus, we're the only ones who have to live with the decision.

Dana - posted on 12/12/2011

My family is a blended family 2 boys for me from a previous and one girl for him previous. We are expecting our first together, and everyone is saying "oh you poor thing going to be so busy and financially difficult for you, so your getting your tubes done after this right?" Ummm we have yet to really decide that and its no ones business. Do I want more right now, no. But do I want t END the possibility of EVER having more, idk yet. Its between you your partner and God, and only you and them know what you can and cant handle. I am blessed and would only be more blessed to have more, if it so happens down the line.

Christina - posted on 12/11/2011

let me redo this.
i get too young, too poor, too many kids, not married, too many dads.

i'm 26, a single mother, and have 3 ( 6, 2, 1 )kids with two different people. i don't want anymore, but i hate people telling me those things. having a baby should be my choice, not theirs. i've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for a year now. he's 42 and has 3 children (18, 14, 6) himself. he doesn't want anymore which is a big reason i like him.

Brooke - posted on 12/11/2011

Too young for more children. I also get told I have the rest of my life for more children I should just focus on finishing school and starting my career. I graduate in a week now and who says I don't want to be a stay at home mom?!

Elissa - posted on 12/10/2011

Your welcome! [=

Jamie - posted on 12/10/2011

Oh goodness! Thank you so much Elissa!

Elissa - posted on 12/10/2011

Love your blog! It's adorable and what a cute name!

Jamie - posted on 12/10/2011

LOL I've had the daycare question too! (probably because my kids are two different races and then they are really confused!)

It's such a constant thing I'm surprised when people think I'm the mom!

I even started a blog about it

http://iamnotthebabysitter.com/

Liz - posted on 12/10/2011

Jamie, that's funny I get the same thing at the store! I had all 4 of my kids with me (as I usually do when I go grocery shopping) and someone asked me if I run a daycare! Haha

Jamie - posted on 12/10/2011

I'm done having kids and strangers will protest the children I already have.

"You're way too young to have kids!" once I tell them I'm not the babysitter.

Elissa - posted on 12/10/2011

Young and Poor!!!!! Haha. It's hard to take those kinds of words seriously though because it's your body and nobody elses. I don't even tell anyone I secretly have baby fever AGAIN even though I still have a young one (only 6 months old.) But I know if I were to say anything about wishing I could have another, everyone would really freak out. And that's just too much stress. Either way, I'm well aware that it would be the most logical decision to wait until I'm finished with college in two years for another. But sometimes it's so hard when you think back to when you first felt those little flutters in your tummy... and then when you first got to hold your little angel on your chest. I could relive it all over again. Again and Again, just to feel those same feelings. I can't imagine having two little ones to love[= Sounds wonderful!

Cyndel - posted on 12/07/2011

Um every baby is inconvenient and has to be worked into a schedule, relationships, and budget...it doesn't mean it was a bad time to have a baby or the baby is unwanted. There is no good time to have a baby. Babies will come when they come. And I will welcome as many as God and my husband will allow...as of right now my husband is setting the limit at 5...we'll see...maybe pregnancy #5 will be twins...hehe

Brandie - posted on 12/02/2011

My mother in law loves to tell me and hubby that we cant have #3. I had cervical cancer in 09 had it removed in 10 and had my son in dec of 2010. At the time bc of the cancer i wanted to have a partial hysterectomy we desided to wait and the military said no i was to young. Once my kids get a little older we want #3 we have boy and girl and she gives me hell about not getting fixed. My sister in law said the next one she would take bc she wasnt going to have another on i want to smack them so hard. I hate going to see them. My folks says no matter how many we have they are happy as long as its not 21 kids.

Tiffany - posted on 12/01/2011

poor, young, stessed. ignore it and just make u happy

Laura - posted on 12/01/2011

Well, I had the implanon removed today :) We've not told the family, as we'll get the usual questions about how we'll juggle work, being parents to our toddler, and being pregnant. Well, we know we'll manage, otherwise we wouldn't have made the decision to have a second child!

Brandie - posted on 12/01/2011

I get that all the time. I have a 10 year old and my boyfriend has a 10 year old then i have a 6 year old from a previous relationship but she thinks my bf is her daddy. i get well isn't 3 enough? or you are 29 and going to have 3 kids by 3 different dads but i dont think of it that way. I also get well don't you think you should be married first before you bring another child into this world? yes i am engaged but i am happy that way. marriage scares the crap out of me!!! both of my kids have be "oh s**t" babies and for once i want it to be planned and be excited about all of it. whats wrong with that? do i have to be married to have another child? do i need to go back to the losers i have children with and have another child with them?

Charlene - posted on 12/01/2011

My partner and I are planning on having another baby in the new year (our 3rd) alright ideally I need to lose weight but I know I will put it all back on during and after my next pregnancy so I figure I'll do it after as the thought of losing it more than once fills me with such dread!!my Nan who I love to bits is not backwards in coming forwards,she says it how she sees it :( "you wanna get that weight off,you're looking awful" "oh theres nothing in having kids these days" tactless!! there are only 1 or 2 in my family who arent- it is frustrating and it does get right on my last nerve however I do believe she still sees me as her little girl not the 26 year old adult that I am...and on the support issue we get none! never had a night out since I had my first child or an afternoon while kids go see nanna doesnt happen :( I just figure its their loss its them thats missing out and I've got my family.

Ashley - posted on 11/30/2011

I cant say i have personally had this happen to me, But id be furious! My husband and I were not married when we ended up pregnant with our first...no one really had objections to it, we are now pregnant with our second and are struggling a bit financially but know we will make it work...god wouldnt have blessed us with another child if he didnt think we could handle it. Reading some of the previous posts...i have a comment to add to the one whos grandparents got upset about them having more than 1-2 children..should ask them how many children they had in there immediate family..ie siblings...did they feel neglected growing up? Families were SO much bigger then compared to now a days...people frustrate me to no end!

Liz - posted on 11/29/2011

I am almost 24 and my husband and I have 4 kids - almost 5 (in 2 days!), 3.5, almost 2, and 5 months. Yes our kids are close, no we didn't plan it and NO we don't know if we're done. We're 23 and 24! I think it's too early for me to decide if I'm totally done. I could possibly have 15+ years of getting pregnant, I think it's a little premature to make that decision. I believe God knows what he's doing, even if I don't feel ready to handle more kids - he knows better than me if I can handle it! We have never actively tried to have any of our kids, but I can't imagine life without a single one of them. I hope we get a little break here between our baby and the next one. (Not that "hoping" is the only form of birth control we are using - which really isn't anyone's business - but there are many kinds I don't believe in so therefore my choices are limited.)

Kimerli - posted on 11/28/2011

I always get the whole, "you have 3! Your done right?" The fact is I don't know if I am done and that is between, me nd my husband and what is best for my family. I learned very quickly just to tune negative people out.

Melissa - posted on 11/27/2011

That's just sad that so many family members and friends can be so nasty. My own father is going to flip whenever we get our 2nd. Of course, he's been helping us a lot the past couple of years because my husband has buckled down and started working his bum off to pay off his debts and I worked (at least for a while, contract ran up and got let go). My father tends to thing that children are a blessing....only if you plan them and have loads of $$ for them. From speaking with parents who have well-paying jobs, even THEY admit that it's not enough. It will never be enough until you let it be enough, that's how I see it. (Figuring that there is at least some sort of income in the home and you're not starving in the dark with cold water.) I can't stand the "you're too poor" comments either. My husband currently makes more than my father did when my parents had me and my brother. Hey...that gives me a good point for my argument. Great topic, keep it up!!

Katherine - posted on 11/27/2011

Laura I feel that is the hardest thing to deal with when wanting to have something happen inyour own life, wondering if someone is going to sicourage you or be negative because its not what they want you to do or whatever their reasonings are. I wish you guys good luck on #2. More the merrier I say. Kids are awesome.

Laura - posted on 11/27/2011

We have one daughter, who is 1, and we both work full-time. We won't tell people when we plan to start trying for another, because I hate the questions about how I'll cope with having a toddler, being pregnant and working. Then there comes the questions about whether I'll go back to work full-time after baby no.2!! :S

Alicia - posted on 11/26/2011

im almost 24 and am pregnant with my 3rd child, my 2 girls are 2yrs and 7 months, so yes i know they will be VERY close in age but when people bring up how young i am and that means i wont be able to handle it and be married at the same time, it just drives me crazy. no i didnt plan it but it happen, and its not like we need peoples help with our kids. the way i look at it is they dont have to raise them, feed them, buy clothes for them, or even deal with them so its none of their concern. as for the coments like "your done now, or thats it no more, right?' that is also none of your concern! yes, i am prolly done, but they can keep all their judgment to themselves.

Jennifer - posted on 11/25/2011

I get it all the time. When I announced my latest pregnancy (child #3, now 2 mos old), I got eye rolls, OMGs, are you crazy's, the whole thing. Now people are already commenting on me having another one- You are done, right? So she is your last, right? I just tell them that my husband and I have not decided whether we are done or not. We support ourselves with no financial help from friends or family, and very little emotional support. His family has been the most supportive, followed by some of my friends. When people make negative comments about whether or not I will have more kids, I just tell them that as soon as they are paying for my kids and my bills, they can rule my uterus, but until then, their opinion has been duly noted.

Michelle - posted on 11/24/2011

im too broke to have another. shit im too broke to totally afford this one! but i love her :)

Evina - posted on 11/21/2011

Now I think from saying that I sounds like I'm anti second baby lol no...I love my angel she is perfection and a miracle to every aspect of my life...keeps me super busy I am befuddled by her insurmountable supply of energy however...will need a bit of time before I'm ready for number two but I'm excited because I appreciate the joy love and everything that comes with bringing ur very own into the world...it's indeed beautiful. Love u lele girl xx

Evina - posted on 11/21/2011

On the contrary I keep getting asked when I'm gonna have number 2 bub! I sometimes just think I'd prefer to say "nah I've had one I'm good for now" why do ppl assume you straight away automatically plan for the next baby? I know I will eventually want another but good grief ppl give us some breathing time!

Jessica - posted on 11/21/2011

ive just had my first, and my last :( i was tied she did too much damage.. and im only 19 :( ( married thou)

Kara - posted on 11/20/2011

Im 23 I have 3 kids 7yrs4mths,3yrs10mths & 20mths........I'm also 24weeks pregnant with my 4th an final bubby ............. I've gotten your too young, baby having a baby, wow another one, (oh an my fav from my MIL) looks like you can barley handle the ones you have..... could of slapped her................ Its not anyones buisness if you chose to have another bub a simple congradulations will do just fine

Mary - posted on 11/19/2011

I can't even imagine telling someone your too fat or overweight, financially un-stable or whatever. I try and be possitive as much as possible. my mom called me yesterday and I am 11 weeks along with my 2nd and have a 9 mth boy. .. anyway she called and said" you know it's gonna be so hard and they are gonna be on different sleep schedules and it's just going to be hard to handle" i just said "you need to be encouraging not discouraging..." I mean wht does she want me to do? get an abortion? she is against abortion as well as I am so i don't know why she is so negative. my sister told me to tell her not to call me if she is just going to be negative. It's frustrating. i wish my mom was supportive and possitive but i guess i will have to stick up for myself better.

AMANDA - posted on 11/18/2011

i get frustrate hearing it too. i have 6 month old b/g twins and i get the "oh one of each thats great, one shot and you're done" i get soo frustrated cause its ignorant of people to think that all i wanted was two children.. believe me i get all sort of rude comments its like im a freak show in the stores cause of having twins...

some people just dont think before they open their mouths or they are just that rude either way i try to just ignore the comments as best as i can and thats all i can suggest to you.

Jenn - posted on 11/18/2011

You ignore them!! It is your life and you do not owe anyone an explanation. That being said, some people are unbelievably rude! However, most mean well, they just don't realize how things sound to the person on the receiving end of the conversation. I would just say "I appreciate your opinion, however, that is something for my husband and I to decide and I do not feel comfortable discussing it"..Or you could just change the subject. Or punch them in the throat. Baha, Kidding! Kidding!! Although i have sure felt like it sometimes. Don't sweat it, just let it ride. You know what is best for you and your family:)

Mary - posted on 11/18/2011

Peopel say they are too close together. and you don't have a house or nice car...

Leslie - posted on 11/16/2011

I get the "you should try to lose some weight before you have another baby" all the time from my mother. My mother in-law can't wait until we have another baby. It really makes me angry that my mother is very unsupportive in that sense. Yes I may need to lose a few pounds but she should be supportive no matter what my husband and I decide. She also tells me that we can't afford to buy a new house...which we just did....no wonder I am depressed and feeling alone.

I think no matter what people think....it is totally you and your hubby's decision and if they aren't supportive then that's their loss!!

Daniele - posted on 11/14/2011

Hi! I just started up a group called "Mom's Fair" kind like an online second hand place where you can have your own photo album there with photos of used but in good condition things like clothes,toys,shoes,strollers  from your infant/toddler/kids that you might want to sell to other moms or even exchange. Please join us and invite other moms friends with you to join us as well. Here is the link to the group and thank you so much! http://www.facebook.com/groups/146728462...

Katherine - posted on 11/14/2011

i actually had someone tell me to stop having kids 2 is enough- well opps I had another so f*** her. Its my choice to decide how many is enough in my family. the person also thought I was to old- 28 at the time to have anymore.

Leslie - posted on 11/13/2011

I didn't hear that from any of my friends. My mom always told me to wait till I had the money for kids. I said you will never have enough money for kids. If I have waited that long I might have die trying to save the money to have children. When I got pregnant I was scare to tell her, but in the end she was happy for me. either though she is giving me all the advice from raising her own kids. Which I raise my brothers till they were in their teens and how she finally did it. One is graduate this june and taylor is already in college. I have a baby girl who is turning one in two weeks, and somedays I feel like I really would like another child, but there are days where I would never dream of having another child. I had post partum depression and I still have a little bit left. I just ignore it and go about my day. I might be having a second one those I'm on day four so far of being late. well see cause I been off the deport shot for two months now.

Maria Zarina - posted on 11/08/2011

I always get that from ppl. i am 23 married w 3 kids. when ppl see me i look like 16yrs old. i just reply back by saying "I am happy how my life is now and i want to have more kids to share that happiness with" usaually shut them up real fast because i noticed not many ppl can admit they are happy! ppl will always try to force their opinion on you.

Rosanna - posted on 11/08/2011

i think 2 is a good number i got 1 and would like another but my partner isnt ready so fair enough im 27 and am prepared to wait the only reasons why you shouldnt are obvious health risks and or i beleave if you can not look after the first 1 ie:dont give a rats about it type thing or have 5 already ... you probley shouldnt bring another into that situation but to be honest you dont sound like you world fall into those groups so when you your husband are ready go for it your current child will love helpping mummy get a nappy or even coming along to see this mysterious thing growing inside mummies tummy and daddy too :)

Valerie - posted on 11/04/2011

people really say that to you?? i think id punch someone in the face. that is not their decision. its strictly between you and your husband. ive never had that happen but were not ready to start trying for another any time soon we have 3yr old twins and are not financially ready for another. however i am 24 and get allll the time you dont have kids, your not married, your too young. then i say yes i do or i am and still get heckled sometimes. its very very frustrating. i did get pregnant before we got married but we have know eachother since we wer 12 and have been together for 5 yrs. so i understand the frustration. but those people just get a huge smile and a well dont you know everything? honestly though if people really care they will support your choice. and as long as your capable if they dont screw um.

Crysta - posted on 10/31/2011

My sister has had a lot of this from our family. She has 4 boys. I on the other hand haven't heard any negative comments with beign pregnant with #2, my husbands parents are thrilled to have another grandbaby. My mom is happy that after 5 boys she finally gets a granddaughter, lol. No one else in my family has said anything on the subject, I think it's because they know that my response will be more honest than they want me to be about it. I don't really ignore rude comments and I call them on it and tell them to back off, lol. I think you are making the decision that you feel is best for your family.

Eschelle - posted on 10/31/2011

completely sometimes i feel like blowing up at her for all the rude comments she places at my feet.

Starfish - posted on 10/31/2011

I get the "You have too many kids already!" line. I think that's for me to decide, y'know?

Eschelle - posted on 10/31/2011

my MIL said the SAME thing!

Pam - posted on 10/31/2011

hahaha some of these posts are HILARIOUS!! Guess what my mom said after my second one.... "so are you going to get your tubes tied or is your husband going to have a vasectomy?

Bonnie - posted on 10/31/2011

They are being ignorant. It is none of their business. It is between you and your husband and that is it. People are always going to make stupid comments.

My mother keeps implying that my husband and I are done having kids and we're not. We want one more. She has even went as far as saying that I am going to give her a heart attack LOL. I laugh it off because really it is hilarious IMO. She makes it sound like she is going to carry the baby, raise it, and be the provider. Too funny.