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Young, Married with kids finding it hard to make new friends.

Keshia - posted on 03/13/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, i'm turning 24 in a few days, I'm married with two children, and lately I'm finding it hard to have a social life. Since starting a family I find I'm not in the same place in life that most of my good friends are. Everyone is living life and having exciting adventures, and I think sometimes I feel left behind. Don't get me wrong I love me life my husband and my kids but i've been at home with them for 2 years and I miss having those friends that really understand you, what you're going through and are ginuwinely there to help. I guess I'm finding it hard to maintain a social life and balance the family life too. Even going out and making new friends is almost frightening which sounds silly because i'm a very outgoing person. I don't know if its my birthday that has me reflecting on life so much but this is the way I'm feeling right now. I just wanted to know if there is anyone who can maybe relate or have I turned into a big fat nerd since getting married?

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Crystal - posted on 03/13/2009

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I feel the same way, I was 18 when I had my first, then got married about 5 years later and now I am 25 and my son will be 5 months next week. Alot of my friends are going out and partying and they invite me sometimes and every once and a while i will go, but it is weird. I don't have as much fun i guess as they do. I guess I know what to expect the next moring at home, husband and two kids that hasnt breakfast and the house cleaned and everything else under the sun. It seems like anyone I talk with that actually understands what i am going through or understands me is 20 years older than me. I grew up so fast after having my daughter. I love my family but i work full time as well  and especially this week i feel like i am going to pull my hair out. I just want a friend my age that  has a husband and kids and actually listen when I talk about having a bad day. I have a few friends that are about 10 years older than me and i feel like i call and see how they are doing and stand by them when they have problems, but if i don't call them they seem to be to busy to talk when i want  to. I don't get it, i put out so much effort. Keshia, you don't live near memphisdo you?

Twyla - posted on 03/13/2009

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Every day my man tells me I need to get out, that he's worried that I'm depressed, or any number of other things based on the fact that I have withdrawn from social activity in favor of staying at home with our son. I know if I asked he'd stay in so I could go out, but I just don't have the will. I'm a naturally outgoing person and used to be the out every night type, but ever since my son was born I just want to stay in. Honestly, making friends is too much work for it to be worth it.
That being said, if you want to make friends but find family obligation too demanding, join a baby group. Every week I go to a group full of mothers with babies of the 4 month to 1 year age range and it allows me to socialize with people who fully understand the obligation of family and the difficulties it can bring when making friends. There's groups for all ages up to 5 years in my community and I would assume that yours would have the same. It may not be the perfect solution but it certainly has been a good start for me.

Autumn - posted on 03/13/2009

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Hi, I felt the same way after I had my son. I was 22 at the time and the rest of my friends were going out and living life. You're not a big fat nerd. You just need to find other moms to hang out with. Thankfully my best friend had a baby so now I hang out with her. I feel better and not as left behind :) and of course every once in awhile your hubby should stay in with the kids and you can go out with the girls! Make you feel human again. Hope this helps



Autumn

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