young mom wants to have fun too.

Brandis - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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im a semi new 21 year old mother with an 18 month old son. my life consists of diapers, poop, toys, mess and baths. im slightly over protective when it comes to my son, so i dont get out much with my friends or fiancee for that matter. i dont have many people that i truly trust to watch my son for a night, not even my mother cus she smokes and is always on the computer which i dont want smoking around my son. but even when i do go out to a club or a bar, i just feel uncomfortable being there when i have a son at home.he's always on my mind when i go out and it distracts me from having a good time. i want to be a good mother but i also want to enjoy my life as well. without being too selfish or needy of having someone watch him. any suggestions or advice???

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Danielle - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hello Mommy!!!! Do you have any sibblings that are around? Or what about a friend that you could date swap with? That has been really helpful on my end. Once a month or so plan a date night or afternoon for that matter (those are REALLY fun, and cheaper), and return the favor to your friend. You need to be able to feel comfortable to leave your son. Its a necessity in being a HAPPY mommy. YOU need to be able to grow also. Find a new hobbie that wont take up to much time, but will allow yourself to grow. I hope that helps!!!! Good luck and have a fun date day!!

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Crystal - posted on 01/31/2009

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It is not selfish to want to have a night out. You desparately need that at least once in a while. Lots of perfectly good parents enjoy a night out at the club. Lots of questionable parents never set foot in one. Having a friend you can swap with helps if that's available to you. I understand how hard it is to find a reliable, trustworthy, responsible baby sitter. A couple of places to try to find one are local churches (I called and asked a pastor at a local church if there were any youth group members he would reccommend), or wherever they offer a babysitting course. Sometimes the places that offer the courses will have a list of who has recently completed the course and might be able to give you some info. I like to spend a bit of time with the person, meet them well in advance etc before having them watch my kids. Maybe start with something small, like have them watch your son while you run and grab milk and bread from the store? Starting small will help you both be more comfortable with the situation. It doesn't do much good to get out if you can't enjoy yourself because you're so worried about your kid(s). Hope you find someone!!

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