Anyone found being a young Mum really difficult?

Kelly - posted on 01/26/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I have really tried to make sure that everyone sees me as a 'wonderful' mum who can cope with anything as I didn't want to be put into the 'young mum who can't cope pile'. Has anyone else found that people are constantly looking at them...waiting for them to fail? I don't think I've done too badly. I had my daughter at 19 and she's now a healthy, happy two year old - I don't think I've done too badly!

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Kathryn - posted on 06/02/2009

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im 19 my lil boy is 4 nd half months old nd ppl stil look dwn there nose @ me nd yh @ tyms i do find it difficult but i wud change ne think ive got my own house money in the bank a im stil with the bby dad SO Y JUDGE ME GRRRRRRRR

Blaire - posted on 06/02/2009

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I was 17 and still doing my last year at school when i found out i was pregnant i was judged constantly from school mates and teachers, I am now 20 and see alot of old school mates that are totally shocked how well i am doing as a single young mother, I wouldnt go back and change a thing i know i am still a bit immature but i know i have more patients than older mothers do......

[deleted account]

People who judge suck and I don't care about them anymore. LOL. It is for sure harder to be a young mom then it is to be an older one. People look at you weird they tell you what you should be doing with your child because they think you have no idea what you are doing. When I was pregnant and I went to my OB/GYN I was always the youngest girl in the waiting room and I was looked at funny. It is for sure a tough job being a mom and it's even harder when your young and getting criticized for everything you do. Even if it's a good thing you are doing for your baby, some how it's not good enough. I just keep on truckin knowing that I'm doing my best and my husband is supportive and my daughter is healthy, in fact her doctor says we are doing great with her so what do I care about strangers and their ridiculous opinions.

Rachel - posted on 05/30/2009

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omg. i had my daughter at de age of 18 . now im 19 and she's 5months. wen i was pregnant. everyone lookd down at me. even my relatives.. and family friends.. people that i know and close too. not only dat the midwifes at the labor clinic.. dey always look at me in disgust. and wen i go shopping fo baby clothes. they look at me as if i dont belong der. even tho i got a big ass stomach popping. .
bt you no wat

FUCK EM.

cos im 19 married.. got a beautiful healthy daugther.. money in the bank. and a deposit on a house.. so they can eat. that..

young mums are the best.
we get too be real close with our kids wen dey older.
get to retire early sz well.
and we hottt baby mamas..



not only dat having children at young age has been going on for years.

my mum. had her first child. at the age of 17

my sister at the same age

my mother in law. age of 18

.. my sister in law.. at age of 18

my brother. bcame a dad. at the age of 18



fk wat they say dey wudnt no shit.

wud you rather be having a child at the age of 30+ and being oldd. and wont be able to commuinicate with your children. wen they go thru teenage years. lols maybe no even around wen dey have children.. .

Ali - posted on 05/10/2009

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i'm 18 and my son is one month old.. and i constantly have health nurses stopping by like twice a week.. when others only see them once. I also notice that in public older poeple always stare at you thinking you're going to do something to screw up.. I may be a young mom but I do know how to care for my son.. and it sucks that we're looked soo badly upon. My doctor told me I'm more responsible then half the 40 yr olds out there.. so I really think everyone needs to look at us differently.

Francesca - posted on 05/04/2009

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i had my first child when i was 18 and it was horrible i felt that everyone was staring at me and everyone i knew thought that it was wrong that i was so young but i got married and 2 and a half years later i now have a another 5 month old! and its great! don't worry about what other people think, being a mum is hard enough. im sure you're a great mum. carry on doing what you're doing

Katie - posted on 04/29/2009

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i no how u feel i fell pregnant at 15 my baby is now nearly 8 months old and everybody even my own family an friends at school were tellin me a baby would ruin my life because i wouldnt be able 2 cope and that she would get took from me i had people givin me dirty looks and callin me everyname under the sun but i didnt care what anybody said because i believed in myself that i was goin to be a great mum an i think i am my baby is now thriving and i dont care what anybody says

Amanda - posted on 04/01/2009

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oh god yes! and its worse when you have people telling you your going to fail! though now i find that just drives me to do better! i hate how WE get watched to make sure we don;t mess up but older moms who ARE messing up big time people assume they're okay moms because they're older! my mom said she had her kids young because she knew she would never be able to handle them when she was older! honestly bad mothers are bad mothers and good mothers are good mothers age doesn't determine anything!

Sarah - posted on 03/31/2009

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I know I'm a great mom, my baby is happy and chubby and healthy. But women everywhere act like i must have no idea what I'm doing! complete strangers will try to give me advice. Every woman thinks their a baby expert!  What pisses me off is last time my baby got weighed(hes 20 pounds at only 6 months) and had his checkup....the nurses looked toatally shocked. Its like they expected him not to be so healthy. And then one of them said "hmmm...you must be doing SOMETHING right." um escuse me? I'm doing everything right.!I'm 19 years old but people allways assume im babysitting lol. I admit...i know a few young mums who leave their kid with their parents while they go party all the time but we are not all like that. and ive met moms in their 30's that arent very good moms

Sarah - posted on 03/31/2009

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I know I'm a great mom, my baby is happy and chubby and healthy. But women everywhere act like i must have no idea what I'm doing! complete strangers will try to give me advice. Every woman thinks their a baby expert!  What pisses me off is last time my baby got weighed(hes 20 pounds at only 6 months) and had his checkup....the nurses looked toatally shocked. Its like they expected him not to be so healthy. And then one of them said "hmmm...you must be doing SOMETHING right." um escuse me? I'm doing everything right.!I'm 19 years old but people allways assume im babysitting lol. I admit...i know a few young mums who leave their kid with their parents while they go party all the time but we are not all like that. and ive met moms in their 30's that arent very good moms

Sarah - posted on 03/31/2009

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I know I'm a great mom, my baby is happy and chubby and healthy. But women everywhere act like i must have no idea what I'm doing! complete strangers will try to give me advice. Every woman thinks their a baby expert!  What pisses me off is last time my baby got weighed(hes 20 pounds at only 6 months) and had his checkup....the nurses looked toatally shocked. Its like they expected him not to be so healthy. And then one of them said "hmmm...you must be doing SOMETHING right." um escuse me? I'm doing everything right.!I'm 19 years old but people allways assume im babysitting lol. I admit...i know a few young mums who leave their kid with their parents while they go party all the time but we are not all like that. and ive met moms in their 30's that arent very good moms

User - posted on 03/26/2009

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she looks like a very happy little girl...... i dont think it matters how old you are. Ask anyone that has become a parent they have the same thoughts, the what if's??? it has its hard days then its easier days...i couldnt care what people think about how i raise my daughter, im not ignorant or anything like that..... but at the end of the day those other people arent there are they??? i mean if u know shes happy n healthy woh cares??

[deleted account]

The thing I hate is when people really harass you when the littlest thing is wrong with your child. For instance, Layla has eczema so she gets rashes a lot. People look at me like it's my fault. Also, she tends to scratch her face. Not that I don't cut her nails, she just really seems to find the sharp corners and gets her face with them. Then, to make matters worse, she likes to suck on her hands and arms, giving herself hickies, and they look like bruises. It's frustrating, because I can't do anything about it! She won't take a pacifier, and she looks abused! But she's healthy and happy and that's all that matters.

Hannah - posted on 03/21/2009

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I have deffinatly been given a LOT of grief from older moms. Or just older women in general. Dirty looks snide remarks. Its so ridiculous!! I just want to yell at them look at how happy my baby is! look how beautiful and healthy! How dare anyone assume you are unworthy of your child. I was 18 when I got pregnant and had my daughter at 19 as well. I am also still with her father...I feel like a good mother, I know that I am a good mother...I just get so angry when people put me down for being so young-saying I have no right! saying I should give her up for adoption! can you imagine?!



Good for you grabing life right by the balls! Enjoy, Cheers!

Kelly - posted on 03/17/2009

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It's great to hear that I'm not the only one out there going through this!



When I mention the fact that I have a daughter (let alone the fact that she's now 2) people are surprised. When I look at my life I really don't think I've done too badly - I have a wonderful partner, who I've been with for 5 years and is my daughter's father, I have a great job and my own house. I have everything I could possibly want...at the age of 21!!! Some older people are still trying to get where I am now into their 30s and 40s so I feel very lucky! We are now think ing about having baby number 2 and I'm hoping it will be slightly easier now as I'm older and they can all see my beautiful, healthy daughter. I do sometimes wish I'd had a bit more of a 'life' before having my daughter but wouldn't change my situation for anything - I'm happy with the choices I've made and with where I'm heading in life.



Thank you all for your support!!!!

Crystin - posted on 03/16/2009

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its just a stupid situation. i mean most of the girls i know that are my age, they arent as mature as i am. but they also dont have children. when you have children it completely changes you. i went from a teenager to an adult in a couple of years. if i didnt have children i probably would be one of those wreckless 21 year olds. out getting drunk and living my life on the edge. but i have kids wich makes me make better decisions. these "older" women and men, need to stop critisizing and instead start giving us props for being able to do it so young, for being able to commit our lives to our children when most of our freinds are out partying.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2009

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what really pisses me off, is your always hearing about the 30+ mothers out there who ABUSE there children, you never (or rarely) hear that about a 15-25 mothers do you?

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2009

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what really pisses me off, is your always hearing about the 30+ mothers out there who ABUSE there children, you never (or rarely) hear that about a 15-25 mothers do you?

Crystin - posted on 03/16/2009

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i have to say reading these stories just amazes me. If you think about it, it is much more common to have children at around 17-20 years old. It has been for a long time. My mom had me when she was 21 my grandma had kids when she was 17, it’s been going on for years and years. If god didn’t think we were capable of raising children at this age he wouldn’t make it the most fertile years of your life.



i find myself sometimes avoiding mentioning my kids to people, it makes me feel horrible, but after years of bad looks and rude comments, i just want to avoid the situation all together. It is absolutely ridiculous for people to think that because we are young mothers, that we are promiscuous or bad parents, or immature. It’s retarded. Many moms my age are married and have been with their baby’s father from day one. It just makes me mad; we should just really stick it to these hypocritical ass holes.



[deleted account]

When I was 9 months pregnant my partner and I went to a birthing class. Halfway through, they let us go for a small break. Well, I was REALLY craving some Cheez-Its, so we went to the local drug store to get some. When we were shopping, this woman was giving us incredibly dirty looks. The odd part is, though, is that she was sickly looking, but in a bad way. Like, you could definitely tell she was on some kind of hard-core drug. To make matters worse, she had a preschooler there with her being a complete brat! She was knocking things off shelves and causing a distraction. Anyway, as we passed her in the aisle, Matthew heard her say, "babies having babies...". I didn't hear it, but man, did it piss him off. I think right then he understood all the crap I got when I was pregnant and sometimes now. Like when I'm at work (I'm a waitress, which really adds onto the stereotype) I'll mention my daughter and people will want to shoot me looks. Every time I feel down I think of the crackhead with the unruly kid and I feel better about myself!!

Jessica - posted on 03/15/2009

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My mum actually told me that EVERYONE expected me not to be able to cope... but then she also told me that I have proved everyone wrong and that I was doing an excellent job. I dont feel as if i havent been able to cope. Ive loved every single second of it. now 2 years down the track at 21 years old i have 2 beautiful happy healthy babies!

Stephanie - posted on 03/15/2009

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@ times itsz hard bein a young mommy, cuz of ppl, sum ppl alwaysz have sumthin rude 2 say, i had ma son @ 18, a few daysz afta he was born i took him 4 his check up & the nurse takin care of us was like is he ursz im like yea y, she's like u look so young wat r u 15, ur 2 young 2 b a mother wat a shame, i was like 4 ur info im 18 & im gonna b a wonderful mother, it doesnt matter how old i am, i can b 30 & still b a wonderful mom, the nerve of ppl

Tania - posted on 02/22/2009

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i was 17 wen i got preg with my 1st n 19 with my 2nd!!!a lady in the libry the uva day was askin if they were both my kids n i shouldn't even have 1 kid let alone 2!!!the cheek who do people think they r!!!???then she started goin on about how hard it must be to be a single parent with 2 young kids!!!i am not single n have been with my daughters daddy for ova 6 years!!!!just because i'm young doesn't meen i'm single or just have babies with random men!!!!!i just hold my head high now,u have to learn to ignor ignorant people like that!!!!i'm 21 now with 2 beautiful little girls(morgan 3 yo & gracie 7months)i don't think age comes into being a better or worse parent but i do think we r made to feel like we should prove our selves to every1 wich is not fair!!!!!!

Amber - posted on 02/20/2009

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I'm 19 i had my son when i was 17... I just get comments every now and then...especially when my son is cranky from teething and stuff... some of the comments just make me laugh, it's like they think I have no idea what i'm doing lol i just laugh it off because i know i'm a good mom

Crystin - posted on 02/16/2009

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you know, its true older women in particular have a bad habit of automatically thinking young women are bad parents. when i had my daughter i was 18, my biggest critic was my mother in-law whom made sure to rub it in my face everytime i made the smallest mistake. but i notice that most women who have children who are grown are always saying how they never had a problem with thier kids, thier kids never acted up in public. its a bunch of crap is what it is. no matter what AGE you are, when you are a new parent you are bound to mess up sometimes. plain and simple. there is no such thing as a perfect mother.

Kathryn - posted on 02/14/2009

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so long as your child is healthy, well as healthy as you have control over, happy and looked after then i dont think you have done a bad job. i have found it very difficult. as being young and sorta new to everything like living away from home and things it was all sort of overwhelming i think. my partner is the first serious guy ive seen, first time i moved outta home was with my boyfriend and everything like that. but it is quite an adjustment and it quite tough so dont get yaself down when people judge you. if you are doing everything write by your child then who are they to pass down judgement on something they dont know about  : ) hope you feel better soon, and keep your chin up k

Samantha - posted on 02/03/2009

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I am 19 and just had my daughter in September.  I got plenty of bad looks from strangers while I was pregnant (even in church!) and had many comments about how young I was.  I find that now that my daughter is here, they can stare and judge all they want, b/c I'm too busy with my little angel to notice!

Nikki - posted on 01/27/2009

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I had my son when I was 20. And I have felt the same way. The looks you get like you're out of your mind for trying. I remember when I was pregnant and went to the doctors. All the other ladies were much older and I felt so out of place. But it does get easier, I doesn't bother me as much as it use to.  Age doesn't make you a good mom or a bad mom. Just a different one!!!

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