rude comments?

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2009 ( 73 moms have responded )

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We are currently TTC #5. We do not share what we do as far as TTC with anyone but I have gotten more than one comment from people who ask if we plan on anymore and I tell them that yes, we do plan on more..

Things like
* why would you want more kids??
* don't you think you have enough?
*How do you plan to take care of them all?

FWIW, we take care of all of our children financially, physically and emotionally on our own.. so I am not seeing why it is anyone elses business when or if we have more kids..

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Denise - posted on 01/22/2010

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We're a family of 4, expecting #5 in August. Sometimes I think it's just that the questioner is shocked & they forget to use tact when making a further inquiry. We're so use to 2.5 being the norm, that when a mom of 4+ says they're absolutely hoping for more they're surprised. If I think that's the case, I just redirect their question (because surprised or those types of questions are rude) and move the conversation along or end it. But sometimes I think the rude questioner has made difficult choices about family size & has some anger that someone else has found a way to make it work. If it's someone I care about & I think that's the case, I might try to point out to them what we do differently & why it works. Then again, if I'm busy & they're rude, to heck with them- let them figure out for themselves.

Dana - posted on 05/03/2009

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I am a divorced mother of 5 incredible children - 2 boys, 3 girls - 15,14, 10, 9 & 9. I got vasectomy twins as a bonus a year after I delived #3. I wouldn't trade any of them for all the tea in China. I got to stay home for the most part while I was married (I'm an RN with flexible hours) and believe that went a long way in helping my children become bright, caring, independant people. Children from large families learn life skills earlier than only children. My kids can share, they can wait, they can clean up after themselves, they can deal with disappointment when things aren't exactly equal or "Fair". They are caring and considerate. They can entertain themselves. They know that they are not getting a "free ride" and are working on developing good work ethic because they will have to get it themselves if they want it. All of that is lessons in the real world. They will do well because they are prepared not waiting for Mommy and Daddy to do it for them. My answer to the comment "Do you know how that happens?" I say yes I do and I'd be happy to explain it to your unclear about it. That usually gets them to shut up.

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Hope - posted on 09/21/2012

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In my honest opinion, unsolicited advice is NEVER welcome in my book. Whenever you get those comments from people, simply state "well, I didn't ask your opinion did I? It's a good thing too, because your's is pretty ignorant." That should shut them up. People need to learn common decency, common courtesy. Nothing a stranger can say to me to change my mind for one simple reason: they don't know my life story! They don't know what's best for you, YOU DO. You're absolutely correct, it is none of their business and you have every right to tell them so. It might prohibit future unsolicited advice. Some folks just need to learn when to keep their mouth shut and you have every right to put them in their place. That is my opinion. Be well.

Lori - posted on 09/19/2012

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I got so sick of hearing that too but I realized that generally the dr. is just more curious for possible reasons of needing to know than others are, so I can at least deal with understanding his/her reasoning behind the comments more than other people who are just being snide.

Lori - posted on 09/19/2012

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I hadn't understood why people this day in age would choose to have many children either but I never complained to them. Recently though as I began researching family history I started noticing that as the number of children born in families lessened, so did the ability to pass on the family name due to less boys being born then I felt sad that family names are diminishing in high numbers for families putting strict limits on births. Of course it's each person's own choice, but I wonder how often that's even considered anymore. Since I don't know their reasons, I'm fine with it in most cases but when a mother with high numbers of children goes into welfare I'm curious if she was aware she'd be on it and kept having kids or if it was a sudden thing. It wouldn't be fair if she knew prior and continued having many children to keep requesting aid while being unable to care for the first ones.

Amanda - posted on 11/04/2010

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Hey! We have gotten soo many negative comments on how many kids we have, and why we had that many, and if they are ours, and do we know how that happens, and so on! I am 24 and have 4 children, ages 7,4,2, and 1. And my favorite comment back when someone comes to me and says "You know how this happens right?" I smile and say "yes, that's the fun part" haha. I think after 3 children it doesn't matter how many more you have! Children from bigger families tend to be more social and outgoing, better disciplined, and better organized! We have such a great routine and with the 4 of them it sure does help a lot!! So blow off criticism and enjoy your children, and know that your obviously popular and a big deal if everyone makes you one! :) Smile your children love you!

Jasmin - posted on 02/05/2010

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I love this response!!!! I have 5 children and wouldn't change it for the world. Mine range from 16 to 6 months. Each baby has taught me more and I am now very good at being a mum (mostly). It's absolutely beautiful watching the older children with the baby. They learn so much about looking after a little one - so much more than what they could learn at university and now my 16yo is a sought after babysitter!!! If we had stopped at 2, she wouldn't know a thing about babies. Now she can go and confidently have a baby of her own (hopefully not for a while..lol) instead of reinventing the wheel every generation because children are not getting the experience with babies when there's only one or two kids in the family. Enjoy your family and have as many children that God blesses you with. It's none of anyone else's business.

Juliet - posted on 01/24/2010

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I have 4 children, 9, 7, 6 and 1. I feel i am always looked down on for it. My husband has a good job and works to provide for us all. I worked part time as well until I was about to have my fourth but now I don't work anymore. I hate it when you go out, Doctors, supermarkets, anywhere really and people say are they all yours? or I bet they are a handful? and yes they are but I love them all to bits, each and every one was planned and wanted. I won't be having anymore as hubby has had the snip, lol but good on you to all that have more, have as many as you like and hold your head high!!!!

Elisabete - posted on 01/16/2010

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we get that allot,we have 5 and expecting number 6 and all the time we get asked that.why do you want more ?will this be your last ?even by doctors .everytime i go to the hospital they ask if iam using protection or if iam having my tubes tide...why would i do either?
it really isent their buisness at all i want to have as many kids as my body can handle but yet they are always telling me oh the older you get the more dangerous it is ...i though once you become an adult you dont have to worry about getting the 3rd degree from people ..
or then there is some who think because you ahve a large amount of kids that they are baddly behaved or kaos ..specially when it comes to getting a baby sitter.i cant get one and it may mean hubby may be missing out on the birth as family wont even help.we also have an austistic child and we get asked why we keep having kids in the off chance it may be austistic again?who cares its a child who needs loving same as down syndrome doctors tell me iam getting old iam 34 adn they said the risks get grater as you get older but to me a child shouldbe loved no matter how the package is delivered

Ries - posted on 11/27/2009

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here's my retorts for rude comments I used for pregnancy 5 and 6... "don't you know what's caused it yet?.... " yeah, finally... I can't eat of my hubby's plate any more..." or "yeah! we dont eat ice cream together anymore, at least not with the same spoon, I'm so sure that does it!" and laugh it off... I think most people are not trying to be rude but reflecting their own feelings of horror, coz they would never have a big family and cannot imagine anyone would CHOOSE to! i got family flack mostly... and my birthday card last week read "your a great wife and mother, but we think it's time you gave it a rest!" (from hubbys 90 year old granparents) WHA??? we had to laugh!

the answer to "was it planned" is "Yes, were your kids?"

"How do you do it?"- "Badly... wanna help?"

I think most mums of 2 kids are swamped... (remember those days?) and really think that you must be supermum, and so they feel like failures... interesting I get the super mum thing all the time and hate that more... coz no-one comes over to my house to help at all....! even when I just gave birth...and am back on school runs the next day.. cooking meals etc...washing for 8 of us now... not a complaint, just an observation...oh yeah and for the TV comments I always said.... "Gee sex must be pretty lame in your house if TV is better!"

and the final one to... wow you must really like kids... is.. " no, my hubby's just a hottie!"

have fun with it... we are a rare breed and totally special and so are the wonderful kids we are raising!

Kandice - posted on 10/29/2009

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Hi! We have 6 kids total, 3 girls 3 boys-8-7-7-6-5-4... I had 2 with my ex husband and my current husband had 3, we totally weren't expecting #6 but we were thrilled to have her. He is in the military and I stay at home for now. Money is tight but we try to make the best of what we have. We completely support the children on our own, no help even from the exes. We also get asked if they are all ours and we just happily say yes. We have encountered more people complimenting us on how well the kids behave more than anything. I never intended to have more than 2 kids, but boy am I glad I have all these treasures. I use to get asked how old I am all the time (I was 24 when we married) but everyone seems to now know us and we aren't judged. We do get asked all the time how we handle so many children but really that's a legitimate question. You all should know that answer! After two, it just gets easier!! We don't even notice when their friends are all over and the house has 12 children in it!! People think we are a little crazy when we let them all have friends spend the night. They can't imagine how we handle so many kids under one roof. We are lucky in the fact that even though we are a blended family we have been together raising these kids since the oldest were 3 years old. I do have friends that joke and say we have 15 or 20 kids etc but really I don't let any of that bother me. I understand I have a large family and it isn't very common where we live. And sometimes really, it doesn't hurt to step outside of yourself and laugh about it all. I must say it really is nice to see other large families for once!!! We all belong to a special club that most people don't understand, I feel blessed to be apart of it!

Stacey - posted on 10/24/2009

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Hi. I have 4 beautiful children under 5 (no twins) and I get unnecessary coments all the time. My kids are well behaved well spoken people that love company and love a good conversation. I catch buses and walk everywhere with my kids and people have to either whisper or stop me in the street to tell me how I must have my hands full or 'don't I have a TV. I love my kids and hope to have more. Good on every one who enjoys having kids and well done to those that stick up for themselves.

Natasha - posted on 09/28/2009

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I have 4 children,11, 9, 3 and 1. When i was pregnant with the last one people i knew would ask if it was planned. I just responded with "none of them were so why would this one be any different". That doesnt mean that they werent wanted. When he was born i got a congratulations text from a friend that ended with "now go buy a television" .

Other people would assume that the children had different fathers because of the 6 year gap between 2 and 3 and the fact the older 2 have dark hair and the younger two are blonde. Ive been with the same man for 16 years!

I admit that when i found out i was pregnant with number 4 i was severely stressed out and upset about it because i had finally come to terms with the fact that we werent having anymore. I had no idea how we could afford another child as i dont work (other than my unpaid job of running a household)! Also i suffer from bi-polar disorder and depression, and have bad pregnancys. My husband wanted me to terminate but i just couldnt. Once he accepted that we looked at the pregnancy in a positive light and never talked about that again. Our beautiful little boy was meant to be and completed our family.

You know what we struggled financially with 3 and so we do with 4. It just takes a bit more sacrafice and balancing but we make it work. Nothing wrong with handmedowns. My kids dont miss out on much at all - they just arent spoilt brats!

We are so blessed to have 4 wonderful children and i wouldnt want it any other way. Our children are well behaved, share and polite, and we get so many positive comments and praises for them by people we know and also complete strangers. Unlike people i know who only have 2 children who are spoilt, rude, rough and total brats! At least i can take my children out in public without them being an embarrassment!

Jennifer - posted on 09/14/2009

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Totally agree with you 100%!!! I have gotten similar comments as well! Some people are so rude!

Krystel - posted on 09/10/2009

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I am a mother of 5 kids. the ages are 9, 7, 3, 2, 1.. I get some people thattell us that we are sch great people to have so many cause everyone they either know or see around only have one or two kids.. I also get there rude ass people asking me why did i do it. and the main one I hate is my MIL.. She always bitches and complains that we had too many and we should of just had are oldest and stopped.. yet she has never complained to any other of our family members that have two and want more.. she only butts into our lives.. we take care of our kids.. there is no need to talk your crap to me.. you don't take care of them.. I do and not you.. I have told a few that if they dont like what they see turn your heads some place else.. and if you think that were freaks cause we opted to have a nice family.. than F off got it? ? ? ?

Joanne - posted on 09/05/2009

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I have 4 kids ranging from 13 down to 3, and I struggled for a while with guilt. My sister-in-law had suffered 2 miscarriages when I was pregnant with my no.2, and then my best friend suffered 2 miscarriages when I was pregnant with my no.4, and I wondered why it seemed so easy for me and so hard for other people. Eventually I decided that I was just lucky. I have huge sympathy for anyone that struggles with pregnancy and having children. It makes me feel even more lucky to have done it 4 times.



I have had a hysterectomy, so there will be no more children for me now. I know it's the right decision for me. We are not in a position financially to cope with a larger family.



I have had the same comments as others though. My dad even said to me when I was pregnant with no3, 'surely 2 is enough for anyone?'. I was his youngest, but the third!! Thanks dad!



I love seeing large families out and about. There aren't many around where I live, so I think once you have more than 3, you become a bit of a novelty.

I quite regularly have other people's kids over too, because, let's face it, 1 or 2 more just doesn't make much difference does it? That just makes it funnier when I go to the supermarket with them all though. I was there with 5 the other week. I had 1 in the trolley, and the other 4 holding onto a corner each. They were perfectly behaved, but you can still feel the stares from strangers.



It is no-ones business except your how many kids you have and why you have them!

Big hugs to all larger than average families.

xxx

Natasha - posted on 07/01/2009

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Hi. I have five children and plan on one more. I frequently get comment on the amount of children I have. One mother from the soccer club my kids play for had a habbit of says I had 20 children. I told her she mustn't be good at maths at that there are only 5. On a positive note, I rescently was told by a doctor that I was so lucky to have a lot of children and that are many that would love the chance to have children. I agree with him. I am lucky to be able to have children and my heart goes out to those that are unable to or struggle to be able to have children.

Tasha - posted on 06/16/2009

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i totally agree with everyone about the rude comments, we have four kids ages 3,3,3,and 4 (two of the 3 yr olds are twins and 2 which are from a previous relationship on my fiance's side )but i always get..huh..better you than me, or god bless you, do you want more? (yes we do at least one more). the kiddos are very well behaved and its an insult to me the way some of the people stare and some of the comments, i even had one lady tell me that i can go ahead of her in line at walmart because the kids were so well behaved and she didnt know how much longer i was going to be able to keep them quiet. i told her no thank you that my kids know how to behave out in public and to keep her opinions to herself when she wants to assume things about peoples children she doesnt know about!!

Bridgette - posted on 06/13/2009

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I am so glad to hear im not the only one to have these things said to them. I get so sick of the same old Q? It doesn't matter where I go or what im doing it gets brought up that i have 8 kids and im only 28 and my husban is only 30. My grandfather passed on may 1st and at his wake I had to hide because people asking the same things over and over, are you done,do you know what causese that,are they all yours,any twins,why would you have so many. I walked by a few people that were talking about me and i was right by them(they didn't know me) so they they had no Idea. They were saying things like who is the one with all the kids? and then when someone would point me out they looked liked they were just hit by a truck,and say OMG your so young. When my husband wants to get together with some of his oilrig buddies i never go because the conversation allways turns to how many kids I have. It just really gets old. My mom is the only one who has ever been there for me(she is really my grandmother who raised me) she is 74 and she had 8 kids so to her its just not that big a deal,but everyone else just really disaproves! anyway I guess now im just going, but its just so nice to know there are other people in this big crazy world that have the same problems. I do not have anyone in my life with more then 2 kids so thank you all for letting me vent.. God bless you and your GREAT BIG families!!!

Dani - posted on 06/11/2009

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i get the same.. i have 3 girls and a boy.. the last 2 were twins.. and the boy came out last.. and ppl always say arnt u lucky u had twins to get that boy as the last one.. but actually the boy was concieved first.. so if it wasnt twins it would have been a boy.. he wasnt just the after thought from my egg..lol.. i couldnt care what sexes they were.. they could all b the same i wouldnt care...

Tami - posted on 06/11/2009

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I know. And I totally agree with you about why is it anyone else's business? My hubby and I take full care of our kids. I know people with one child that are on e welfare and such. More importantly, my kids are very well behaved. They are courteous and respectful to other people. That is so important! Being pregnant has made me impatient in when I go out into public and see kids acting like animals. I think to myself please only have one because the world has too many kids like that already!

Kristi - posted on 06/11/2009

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I was just reading more of the other responses and wanted to say that we got the "aren't you upset" comment all the time about our fourth. We have 3 boys and 1 girl. When we found out we were expecting that last boy, people asked us if we were upset that we weren't having another girl or they'd pity DD for being the only girl, or worse, they'd say something like, "oh well, at least you got ONE girl." Like that's the only reason I had kids was to get girls. It's just sad the things people say.

Tami - posted on 06/11/2009

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I think my favorite part of telling people that #5 is coming in Oct is the "then you're done" part too. I also like the "Is this the last?" line. #4 was the last as far as I am concerned. This baby is a bonus blessing because we were not planning it at all. Its funny when we go out anywhere as a family because the oldest is 17 so people think he is the father of the youngest two. That is not helped by the fact that my husband at 35 is almost entirely gray haired. It is always fun to see the looks on peoples faces when they realize what the dynamic is.

Kristi - posted on 06/11/2009

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Hi, I'm new here and just saw this for the time. I just had baby #4, but while I was pregnant with him I'd find myself in conversations like this:



Annoying Stranger (AS): Aw, is this your first?

Me: No, it's my fourth.

AS: *eyes bug out of head as they take in my very young face (I'm 28 for what it's worth but look a bit younger)* Really? How old are your other children?

Me: 9, 6, and 3. This one is due in May.

AS: Well, you're done then right?



Why is it anyone's business how many kids my DH and I have if we are able to care for them?

Emily - posted on 06/08/2009

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Quoting Danielle:

people almost fall over when look in my pram.. i have 16week old twins.. and my oldest is just 3.5yrs old.. people always have to count my children out loud.. like i didnt know.. or make rude comments about my age and how many kids.. im 22..


I'm going to be there this summer. :) My oldest just barely turned 4 a week ago, and we're expecting twins (#4 and 5) in September. I'll have 5 kids under 5 for over 9 months. :) 



Thankfully I live in an area where "younger" moms are mostly the norm, so I haven't gotten a lot of comments about my age. But I also didn't have my first until 22... so I'm 26 now. And since we live in a college town, I do look quite a bit older than most of the "young" people wandering around. 



Although, I was at a wedding reception last month and I was talking with one of my Aunts. She introduced me and my youngest daughter (who I was holding) to some other distant relative and they couldn't believe that the baby was mine. They thought she was my younger sister or something. It gave them quite a shock when I told them that I had two more older, and we were also pregnant with twins. It was actually quite funny to see the look on their faces. :)

Dani - posted on 06/08/2009

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people almost fall over when look in my pram.. i have 16week old twins.. and my oldest is just 3.5yrs old.. people always have to count my children out loud.. like i didnt know.. or make rude comments about my age and how many kids.. im 22..

Christine - posted on 06/06/2009

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I posted on Facebook that we were going to have another (have 3 boys and a girl now) and I got 1 out of 5 positive posts. One person said that it was pregancy hormones because our newest was only 4 months old. Oh well...who cares what they think.

Tami - posted on 05/12/2009

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The whole loudness thing...When you add 6 people at a time (like my family) to any room or gathering, the noise level goes up. For anyone to say it is just because of one large family is another example of their rudeness. My kids are all very well behaved and quiet. I take care of a little girl that is 16 months and she makes more noise than my 2 youngest put together. I am always aware of bringing my family into someplace, we usually end up going in pairs. The 2 oldest each help one of the 2 youngest and every one carries something in. I follow in the rear because I need to double check for things we might need that did not make it in yet. It makes the suddenness of our arriving seem less. Just something I do.

Emily - posted on 05/12/2009

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The loudness factor is an interesting one. As the oldest of seven, I always feel that things get a bit loud and crazy when all my siblings are around. But my house, with just my three kids, is fairly quiet most of the time. That may change when our twins get here in September, but generally, I think things just get louder when other people visit... so they perceive things as loud all the time. My kids especially like to talk and show off much more when there are extra people hanging around.

I've also noticed that my family seems to have gotten louder as we got older, the types of noise my brothers are creating now is different than when they were toddlers... but still pretty crazy (they're now 18, 16 and 11 (almost 12)).

Melodye - posted on 05/12/2009

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We're expecting #5 (ages 17,14,12,9)and I think the thing I hate most is when someone asks if I was taking birth control. None of your business! And my grandmother told me I don't need anymore. She said I have enough, like it isn't our decision how many we have. My brother always comments on how "loud" it is with my kids around. We love our big, loud family and I don't care what other people think about it.

Giselle - posted on 05/04/2009

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I'm the mom of 4 children, ages 4, 2, 1 and 3 mo. I get the same comments all the time. I guess that motherhood makes you a slave of our family, and less of a woman. I think that people sometimes should keep their opinions to them selves as long as you are responsible for your own decisions. To be honest I'm happy with 4 and I know that 4 is a many as I can care for emotionally, physically and financially. My husband is the oldest of ten and I think that a big family is the best thing! I couldn't imagine my life without my husband and 4 children.

Tami - posted on 05/04/2009

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It has brightened my day to read all these posts! I recently was surprised to find out I am expecting baby number 5. I have a boy and girl from my first marriage, 17yrs and 13yrs, as well as a boy 5 1/2yrs and a girl almost 3yrs. Less than a week after finding out we were at the grocery store with all 4 kids when a man commented behind our backs "someone sure has a lot of kids." I had been struggling with the news, especially since I found out as I was preparing for a hysterectomy, and his words infuriated me! No one takes care of my kids except me and my husband. We support them in every aspect. My children are all well behaved, productive members of the community and that man had no right! As I have adjusted to the news, I see that this baby has come at a wonderful time in our lives. It has already brought all of us closer. Even my 13yr has gotten a few remarks from kids at school, and I think we have found the perfect answer, I told her to tell people who ask how many are you guys gonna have that we want enough to get on TV. Im sure that will work.

Thank you to all of you who have posted here. It truly did brighten my day!

Karla - posted on 04/22/2009

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I had a relative ask me "Haven't you learned what causes that?" when I was pregnant with my 4th. Looking back on it I wish I would have said, "No, why don't you explain it to me?"
We stopped at four, but it money (and sometimes time) were not an issue I would have loved to have more.
Love those kids!

Nicole - posted on 04/16/2009

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It's no surprise that this thread has quite a few responses!  When I was pregnant with daughter, my step-dad kept saying, "What are you going to name this one?  I think you should name it LAST" or "QUITS"

Deanna - posted on 04/15/2009

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I think the "you know what causes that" question pops up around the third child. Or at least that was my experience. You could always tell them they need to get to work to catch up, then. That one normally returns a shock for a shock. Either that or tell them that practice makes perfect:) My running joke is that I refer to myself as a fertility goddess. My (coincidental) proof is that my sister was trying for three years to concieve her second child and all she had to do was come visit me and rub my belly. Three weeks later, she called to let me know I was going to be an aunt again.

I know that with my fourth, everyone seemed to expect me to panick. You see, my oldest three were from my first marriage. And their father had died in an accident (6 weeks after I miscarried a baby boy). When I moved back to Georgia, I started dating my childhood sweetheart (now my husband). And lo and behold, the fertility goddess strikes again. My most common reply was "When is a baby a bad idea?" To me, it was one more blessing. You see, I don't really think I'm capable of thinking of a child as a mistake or a problem.

We are able to take care of our own financially, emotionally, and physically. I know that with the economy in a rut things are difficult all the way around, but we manage. We clip coupons, hit up sales, go to free parks or those that cost a few dollars for a carload, and blue jeans can be recycled and passed down (with a little help from some navy clothing dye). The same can be said for most solid colored clothes. Believe me, when it comes to streching a dollar, I have a gift. And my children to want for anything. We do much the same as smaller families to save money.

And when people tell me they don't know how we do it, the answer is simple. We do it because we have to. We divide our time to give each of the kids the individual attention they need. We have regular family fun days and family movie night. The older kids help out with the younger ones. We deligate chores and teach them to pick up after themselves. They know how to behave in public because we taught them. They say Ma'am and Sir, please and thank you. Really, teaching manners and responsibility to four children is just as easy as teaching one.

Well, I'm not really sure how much of this is rambling, venting, or even helpful. But, there it is. :P

Amy - posted on 03/30/2009

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The number one worse comment I ever had was a lady from church who came up and peeked at the new baby (#5) and I, all proud mom, was expecting some comment, like congratulations, or pretty baby, or some of the other usual baby comments. Instead, she laughed, looked me right in the eye and asked me if my husband and I thought we were rabbits or something. I think my jaw dropped to the ground. We also had one of our pastor friends tell me that he would present me with a pair of golden scissors after we had baby 5. I am not really one of those people that can quickly reply as I am never prepared for what comes out of people's mouths. Now we are expecting number 6 and I think/hope that they are running out of comments or at least realizing that their opinion does not change our mind.

Kelly - posted on 03/28/2009

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Ya know, the most hurtful comment I ever got was when I was pregnant with our youngest and had just found out she was a girl. We adopted #3, and a friend (and even at the time I reminded myself that she COULDN'T POSSIBLY mean it the way it came out, said "oh! isn't that always the way it goes, just when you adopt, you get what you wanted". As if, had I known we would have "our own" daughter, we wouldn't have wanted to adopt the older one!! Or, as if I hadn't really wanted the two boys!! Any way I looked at it, it was just so rude. I thank God every day for each and every one of them, and it really does apall when someone doesn't "get" how special and wonderful they ALL are, no matter how many you have, or how you got them!

Barbara - posted on 03/28/2009

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We have 5 of our own, and adopted the oldest out of the Foster Care system when she was 16 years old.  We got:



"Don't you have enough of your own?"   or "Now you have a free babysitter!"  From those who don't know she's adopted, we get even stranger looks now, because she is now 28 years old with her own family, which makes me a 42 yr old grandmother of 4 grandkids! (2 are hers and 2 are her step-kids) People assume that I must have been an unwed,  teen mom, who raised another teen mom - not the case on either account!   I really do wish people would keep their comments to themselves.

Emily - posted on 03/27/2009

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Ha! I remember getting those comments a lot. I'm also LDS and the oldest of seven. Any time we were all out in public together someone would ask if we were Mormon or Catholic. I always thought that was a funny question... why should that make a difference?

Now that I have three of my own, with #4 on the way, I've started getting more and more comments about large family size... and we're currently living in Utah! (Provo for now) I can't wait to see what kind of comments we start getting when DH finishes school and we move out of this state. (sarcasm)

Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2009

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I was just thinking as I switched the laundry again and I think the comment that has upset me the most about my large family was when we were standing in line and the guy behind us. Just stared and after a minute said "Mormon huh?" And although I am what does it matter to him.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2009

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Well we have 5 , ages 1 - 7, and have been trying for #6. We get asked those questions a lot but have always just blown them off. Maybe it is time to start responding. What gets me is when I go out shopping, eating, whatever and my 5 are behaving better than the one child with 2 parents who are questioning me. It's kinda funny to me.

Suzanne - posted on 03/23/2009

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i've got 4 kids 3 girls and a boy i myself am an only child but my dad was the youngest of 16 kids wen i was growin up i would of loved a brohter or sister and now i'd love another baby although it would be a bit of a struggle financaly i think people should think before they speck once the children are loved and looked after thats all that matters!!!! i also had people askin was i dissapointed wen my last child was ANOTHER girl!!!! like HELLO she is a healthy beautiful little girl why would i be dissapointed????

Candace - posted on 03/23/2009

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We have 4 girls....7, 4.5, 3 & 8mo.  When people ask if I know how that keeps happening I look them squarely in the eye and reply with "Yes, thank you.....and I'm clearly very good at it!".



 



When they "pity" us for having all girls ("Oh, your POOR husband!") I try to build him up by saying that he's on God's hot list of men who are specialized at being daddy to daughters.....not an easy task!

[deleted account]

We have 7, including 4 that are adopted.  People tell me at least once per week how amazing we are or that we are saints or in awe of what we are doing.  Ugh!  I just LOVE kids and did not adopt to become a saint!

Tammy - posted on 02/24/2009

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I am the mom of 5, 2 boys and 3 girls, ages 11-19.  When # 5 was a baby, I actually had the mother of  6 grown children ask me very rudely if I didn't think I had enough already.  And this was in Church!  I had gone up to say hello because it was someone I hadn't seen in years and she had known my parents when I was a child.  Her children are both younger and older than me.  I was flabbergasted!  But you're right, if the children are well cared for and loved, it's no one's business but your own.

Keishana - posted on 02/13/2009

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I get the same questions daily. Im 29 yrs. old and I have a 7 yr.old, 4, 3, and 4 month old. I get the meanest and rudest comments from people I know and don't know. My kids are very well taken care of. Im a stay-at-home mom so they get alot of attention from me as welI.

If you want more kids, then have more kids........I AM!!!

Melanie - posted on 02/12/2009

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Quoting Tara:

hi we have 5 children & just found out we r havin no. 6 ..we r v excited but we also get coments from poeple sayin the same thing ..we dont coment on there personal lives but they think its ok 2 coment on ours just because we have large family !!!!


Congrats i am a mom of five ...Big families just arent the "in" thing anymore.  Maybe we should make comments like omg you only have 2 kids hehe.. God Bless!!!

Anna - posted on 02/07/2009

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Hi, I agree with you. I got the same comments when I told them I was pregnant with my 4th and from some family members no less.Other comments were could have gotten a dog instead. My husband and I both had good jobs (this was 17 yrs ago when the market was stable no less) and never asked anything from nobody. We were in the military, living away from family so we watched our own children. Maybe it's the extra gifts people think they need to buy!

I would have had more if I wasn't getting older! Just shrug it off and enjoy your beautiful family!!!

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