Need help with son new diagnosis ADHD and his school

Mommysaver - posted on 10/14/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 6 year old ds just got diagnosed with ADHD. He is in first grade and is having a rough time at school. He talks out of turn, gets up and runs around the room, runs down the hall, does not pay attention, and so forth. He also got suspended from school for getting upset with his classmates and threating to stab them with a pencil. He is constantly is the principal or guidance counselors office. While there he will tell them he hates his life, his heart is black and that he needs help with his brain because he cannot control himself. A couple times they asked him to draw a picture of how he feels and he drew a pic of dropping a bomb on the school. When that happened a month ago they showed up at my house because they called us (a half hour before) and no o e answered. (give us a second to get the message!) they told us he is a danger to himself and others and we needed to take him to a psych hospital ASAP to be evaluated. We did not want to but did. The psychiatrist there basically to.d us the school over reacted and to set up an appointment for counseling. (which we already had)

After this he drew another picture 3 days later and they called me in. They told me he is in crisis and we need to take him to a 2nd psych hospital to be evaluated because the first one did not help. I flat out told them no. Two days later they called again and once again told us to commit him. I again said no.

Now we have seen the psychiatrist the school had recommended and she says right now he does not need committed and his drawings, and threatening outbursts could all be because he is upset with his ADHD and constantly getting in trouble at school. She said it also could be ODD but she will continue to evaluate him. She wants to prescribe meds which I am ok with but we had to get an EKG done first. We are waiting for the results.

Got a call yesterday from school that he was completely out of control and they are running out of resources to help him. The wanted to see me this am but my son woke up with diarrhea so I had to cancel. The called and asked if they could come to our house instead to meet with me. I told them no he is sick and it is not appropriate to come here. They were actually upset I said no. I set up a time on Mon to meet at the school.

I have given consent to start an IEP 2 weeks ago but they have 60 days to do it. I am so fed up with how they are handling this. I need help and would appreciate any advice. He acts the worse at school though we do have problems at home. We did not have any issues in kindergarten and all this started at the beginning of 1st grade. He is so down when at school and is never happy. He is an extremely loving boy and I hate to see him beat himself up.

What can I do to deal with the school and help my ds???


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Amy - posted on 02/20/2012




Oh my goodness! So much of your son's behavior reminds me of my ds!!

My son is constantly getting in trouble at school. He talks out of turn, interrupts the teacher, argues with all his teachers, throws food in the lunchroom, and most sent to the principal's office because he found a show on TV (which I "thought" we had locked) called a thousand ways to die, and he was telling all his little friends in class about and the teacher told him to stop and he wouldn't. Whew! His behavior is aweful. I love him, but he has made my life so stressful!

He is 7yrs old, and in first grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year in kindergarten, and we started him on Focalin XR 5mg in the am, and Intuniv 1mg at about 4pm as his Focalin is wearing off. Now he is up to 10mg on the Focalin XR and 2mg of Intuniv in the afternoon. The meds help, but of course there is no cure, so we deal with the symptoms as best we can. It is truly exhausting.

We signed the papers 3 weeks ago for him to be tested for an IEP as well. The school psychologist does not want to do it! She has been so rude to us! She says "he's smart, he's doing fine academically, I don't think he needs an IEP." But he is VERY distractable, and I think he may benefit from a smaller class size. Who knows, guess we'll see how the testing comes out.

Do you think he just does not like his teacher? Or maybe there is a kid in his class that is bullying him? Just seems wierd that his issues just started out of nowhere in first grade? My ds has shown signs he is ADHD since he was about 4, I just didn't want to medicate him that early.

AUDRA - posted on 10/27/2011




The school systems today don't want to have to put too much effort into a child put him on a reward system and at school they can do a behavior plan with you and the guidance counsler. They did it for my son and the meds they said werent working and they tried to play doctor and tell me he couldn't come back until he was "fixed". It is bull my son is 6 and also in the first grade he is the best behhaved child, but I had to retrain him on how to think first and it is hard but the ped can give you some ideas on ho to help him and help you. Be patient and it will get better. And dont let the school take advantage of you and this situation

Jennifer - posted on 10/14/2011




It sounds like you need to set some boundaries. Remind the school officials that YOU are the parent. You know your child best and YOU will make the decisions regarding his treatment. I had to have that conversation a couple of years ago and it helped tremendously. Teachers and principals want our children to fit into their cookie cutter idea of how a student should learn and behave. You should assure them that you are doing everything you can to improve the situation and that you need their support, not their demands. It sounds like you are taking many steps to help your child. Most ADHD kids act out worse in one scenario more than the rest. I would set up a behavior plan with his teacher, focusing on a positive and negative consequence system... such as... if he behaves and follows directions for different broken down day parts, he receives a sticker or token. Those are tallied up at the end of each day and some kind of reward is given if he reaches his goal. Treasure box, doing a fun activity etc. It doesn't have to be a big thing. It has to be attainable so he doesn't lose interest and become more bummed out and defiant. Be involved daily via email or phone or whatever so you know of every improvement or episode. Let them know you are a hands on, involved parent but will not be pushed around. I've learned that ADHD kids really thrive on praise. Give him extra hugs and compliments every time he does something right. I can see why the school is upset by the drawings, but as a mother I think your son is just expressing himself the only way he knows how. I promise you things will get better. And hey, my boy is 11 and I would love to share ideas and questions with you. It bothers me that my son is seen as a troublemaker, when I know the sweet, empathetic, eager to please child that he really is. Good luck.

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