Interrupted Adoptions

Amanda - posted on 05/18/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Have you experienced an interrupted adoption? Do you know what the term means?

We were set to welcome #5! I flew back and picked up a beautiful little girl and brought her home just before Christmas 2010. I was tired. I was a mom to 5 all 4 and under and found out a few days after returning home that I was miraculously expecting! What! A new baby and pregnancy?

We survived until she started sleeping through the night then things got better. When she was 2.5 months old we were called by our adoption agency and told that a birthfather who is not of this country came forward and does not want the baby but wants the birthmom to raise her. We had no choice. My husband talked to attorneys and the agency and even if we wanted to fight we would lose. So we had to return her. We were heartbroken!
Would you be surprised if I told you it was not our first?
I can say that being "matched" then the birthmom backing out does not count to me because we never met etc. but I flew back one summer expecting to bring home two little girls born a day apart and sisters to our 2 girls we already had! I arrived in time for the birth of one only to be told 7 hours later the birthmom had changed her mind. Not too big of a deal because I wasn't attatched yet...but I took one little girl with me and we had a great 2.9 days together! Bonding and waiting for the time period to leave the state. I got a call that the birthmom had also changed her mind and the agency was coming to get the baby...

We paid for these adoptions and received no monies back, there is no refund to the money paid to a birthmother, or refund for agency fees.

So what did we pay for? Heartache? Slap in the face? Excuses to our children?

What was the hardest to face was our oldest daughter-age 5- now asks if she will have to leave our family because someone could come and take her away...

2 Comments

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User - posted on 06/04/2012

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Amanda: My husband and I are adopting internationally, a 14 year old girl. We became her legal God parents and built a strong relationship with her and decided to adopt her. It was not a decision we took lightly, of course as I'm sure no adoption decision is. We are grandparents to 5 children and thought we were in our "golden years" but God had other plans for us.
Our God daughter was not told about the adoption and just 2 weeks before our dossier was to be submitted, she ran away from her orphanage. We have no idea where she is and have had no contact with her in over 4 weeks. We are heartbroken and have wavered from confident that God has a plan and we will get a happy ending, to losing all hope. We have paid thousands of dollars already, none of which is refundable, and we just don't know where to turn. I asked our agency today if we could put everything on "hold" for now, hoping we would get a resolution soon, and we are willing to update our home study and fingerprints, etc. if need be. It is so confusing when you feel so strongly that you are following God's will and the rug is jerked out from under you. I have had to shut her bedroom door because it is too sad to see the new room knowing she might not get to enjoy it. Our grandchildren have already begun to think of her as a member of the family that they want to take with us on vacation, etc. How do I begin to tell them?

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