From an adoptee

Jaime - posted on 01/06/2009 ( 63 moms have responded )

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I was adopted when I was 2 and would someday soon like to adopt a child of my own. I guess I should say thank you first to my biological mother for not aborting me, but for giving me a fighting chance. But my second thank you is for you. I just want to say how special you ladies are. It is amazing what you are doing. I have been given a wonderful life by my family, my mother and father who picked me from the rest! Please tell your children everyday how special they are to you. Because they probably already know just how wonderful you are! If any of you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to help!

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Kimberley - posted on 01/23/2009

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I have adopted twin girls since birth and I have always read books about adoption and have let the know thanks for the insight that we are doing the right thing they are 31/2 now and I feel they have some sort of concept of what adoption means. Where to start I would start with the CAS that you were adopted thru do they not have this knowledge for you

Heather - posted on 01/23/2009

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I was adopted when I was just 6 weeks old. For as long as I can remember I was always told about being adopted, even if I didn't really know what it meant at the time.  My adopted parents were my real family and raised me as their own, and I never felt different than my older brother who was their biological child. But if it had been kept from me, I know things would be different. Not that I'd think I was loved any less, but I just don't understand how or why parents would keep that.  If any adoptee's read this that have gone through the process of trying to find their birth mother or father, I don't have the first clue where to start. I don't have names or places, just that my biological father was killed in a motorcycle crash almost 20 years ago and that my mother was 15 years old, making her about 29 now. Where do I start?

Amy - posted on 01/12/2009

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Wonderful post :) Thanks for sharing.  I think sometimes we hear so much about the Primal Wound and all that we're unsure what we do it right!  Hearing from an adoptee who feels loved and special is always nice.

Kristan - posted on 01/12/2009

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Thank you Jaime and Marie for your post.

It's interesting because my daughter is the only one in our family with brown eyes. Beautiful brown eyes. I often wondered if she got them from her birth mother or father. One day I was looking through her paperwork and there was a description of her birthmother that I had somehow missed. That description answered that question. I some how found peace in that wondering if although my dauaghter doesn't have a picture of her birthmother, if simply knowing where she got her physical characteristics will be of interest to her.

it's funny because although my daugther doesn't look like me (she resembles my husband though only with different color eyes) her personality could not be any more like mine and my boys, one who looks just like me, don't have as much in common with me as my daughter does.

Marie - posted on 01/09/2009

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I also have a "gotcha day" but my parents call it "my adoption day" and have celebrated every yr on the day..just like a birthday.

Marie - posted on 01/09/2009

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Good post Jamie. i too was adopted. My parent got me when I was 17 months old and adopted me when I was 4. I know nothing of my biological mom or dad. Just that they had me when they were very young teenagers. I am truly blessed my the life I have now, being adopted and raised in a loving home, and I often imagine what kind of life I would have had if it wasn't for God placing me in the home I grew up in. I have 2 wonderful little boys and would like to adopt a girl someday, maybe in the same sitution I was in. It's so great to meet other moms that were adopted and then want to do the same!

Jaime - posted on 01/09/2009

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Thanks Kristen! I don't know who my birth mother was but I am truely greatful for what she gave me. I can only imagine how hard that was for her. Abortion is an easy way out. She truely gave me life. Maybe some day I will get the chance to tell her that. I won't say I want to meet her, but I can't say I don't want to know who she is. Do to the laws enforced to protect biological parents I can never know who she is. But one thing I can say is I would LOVE just have a picture of her. I don't need to know why she didn't choose to raise me. Truthfully I can probably guess that on my own. But I would like to see if I look like her. Thats the only thing that has ever rattled around in my brain growing up. I have friends that have sisters who look SO much like them or have the same hands or manierisms. It's odd to me when people have the same nose or hands or they just look sooooooo much a like. Twins perplex me. I'm just like "wow...how can that be?!?!" If there is anything "missing" from my life that is the only thing. And trust me, that is a very small thing. Like I said before I am greatful for the life I have been given. I would never give up the people who chose to raise me. They are forever and always will be my parents. But to tell the truth when I was pregnant,  the one thing I prayed is that she looked like me. So what comes from my womb.....the sweetest, most perfect baby girl who looks JUST like her father!!!! So, lesson learned, I recieve God's gift and I am perfectly okay with that. And now more than ever I don't feel like I need to be validated by someone who looks like me. I am happy with the cards i have been delt and I will be happy with someday soon being able to adopt another child who will look absolutley nothing like me. And I will be happy to pass on lessons in the life I have learned from. Nothing else matters....it's pure and simple Love that makes us who we are!

Kristan - posted on 01/09/2009

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Hi, I just joined, and was very touched by your post. We have been home with our daughter for a year and a half now (she's two). I love how you how you spoke so positively of your birthmother. While my daughter's birthmother is on the other side of the world, it is my hope that she will have a positive feeling toward her birthmother as she grows up.

Jaime - posted on 01/06/2009

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Dana the best advice I can give you is: never hide it from her. Don't let it be a suprise 10 years down the road. Never be afraid to talk about it. Thats very important. Tell her how you feel, how much you wanted her and how much you love her. I love Winnie's idea of "Gotcha day." Call it what you want but celebrate that day because for me it was the best day of my life. I understood that without my mother ever telling me!!!

Winnie - posted on 01/06/2009

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I am going to address my son's adoption as a blessing, and that his birthmom loved him so much, but wanted to give him a great life, even if it meant she could not give to him herself. One thing we do to talk about the goodness of his adoption, is to celebrate what we call "Gotcha Day", which is the day we were able to bring him home. He enjoys being able to celebrate the fact that he is a part of our family, but knows he was loved by his birth family too.

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I adopted a baby girl one month ago and am so in love!  I do worry about her feelings towards being adopted as she gets older. 

Winnie - posted on 01/06/2009

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Hi Jaime, I just joined, but I wanted to say that this was very sweet!! Have a great day.

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