need help

Angel - posted on 04/06/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

5

36

0

My daughter will be a year old on the 14th. She still wont sleep through the night. When she was younger she slept in bed with me but now im breaking that habit. As soon as I put her in her crib for bed she throws a fit screams her head off and gets so upset she makes herself puke. When she finally falls asleep she sleeps for 3 hours and wakes up crying. I get up comfort her and rock her back to sleep and once she is asleep when i put her back in her crib she wakes up. Also she drinks a bottle at night and I need to figure out what to do to break that habit. I dont wanna be the bad mom making her sleep in the crib then not giving her a bottle. I have no clue what to do. Can anyone help???

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Christi - posted on 04/12/2010

31

24

0

My son wakes up a lot all night and still nurses and he will be 1 on Saturday, but I never expected him to sleep through the night right now though. At this age they are still teething and also have separation anxiety. I think its better to just hold, comfort them and feed them. They will sleep eventually and they need their mommy right now.

Tarrylee - posted on 04/21/2010

14

32

0

just got mine to sleep thru... changed from bottle of fiormula to sippy cup of water after she'd gone to sleep... she griped a bit at first but then it was just over... all the night time feedings/wakings all of it. that first night only had two wake ups and she quickly griped and went back to sleep. we co-slept too... transitional items made both our kids movement to their own beds/cribs tearless... introduced a sleep animal and blankie in our bed and shifted farther away right as tthey dozed off.. then in our bed with items but no snuggling... then in the crib and i leaned over petting heads till drowzy then sat by crib breathing loudly, then a week later put then in crib and came and went getting things ready for bed kisses or head pets between, week later set in crib kiss g-night and done... hope my experiences help

Brandi - posted on 04/18/2010

40

11

5

One thing to remember is that "sleeping through the night" at this age is considered sleeping a 5 hour stretch...Also, don't try breaking them of more that one thing at a time - one thing at a time will make it easier for you to break.
I was (and still am) determined to not let my child "cry it out" regardless of how many times he may wake up at night or how tired I get...there are a LOT of resources out there (more than just books, also experienced moms) on the many ways that are available to use...each child is different and may need a different method...here is what I do with my 1st child...
my little boy will be 1 on the 25th; he slept with us in bed full-time until he was 6 months old then we slowly transistioned that away (he is to the point now of sleeping through the night in the crib until around 6 am when my husband gets up, then he sleeps with me for another hour or two). He typically goes down by 9:30pm (experimentation with bedtime has determined that is the perfect time for him, earlier than that or later and he sleeps worse) and I nurse him to sleep then put him in the crib, occasionally he wakes up 1 hour later (baby sleep cycles are approximately 1 hour long), sleeps until around 2 am for a long feeding (sometimes up to an hour, still breastfeeding though), then sleeps until around 6 am. Here are a few things we found that have helped: raising the head end of the bed so he sleeps at an angle (he seems to have congestion quite a bit that can wake him up), moving his evening meal -solids- to an earlier time (from 6:30 or 7pm up to 5pm - amazing how much this affected his sleeping at night), and (as so many have said) routine is very important. The other important thing is to watch for cues of when they are getting sleepy, if you wait too long you will get them to sleep, but it will be a very fitful sleep. Also, before transistioning him to the crib, we let him get accustomed to the crib by having him play in it for a little bit of time a few times a day, to start off with me right next to him then gradually in the room by himself - this seemed to help. Also, we put a light blanket down over the sheet so when we lay him down it is on a blanket which isn't cold like sheets.
As nice as this sounds now, when he was teething really badly he was waking up every hour - for a month long...during this time, I got up every hour and nursed him back to sleep...I've had other "trying" times, when he's been sick or during some of the worst seperation anxiety times...sometimes I "give in" and he's back in bed with us for at least part of the night (so I get some sleep), but as soon as the "trying" time is over, we are back to him sleeping in the crib during the night, no problems.
I hope this helps!

Trasena - posted on 04/12/2010

46

17

9

OK.... so I was having the same problems!!!!!!!! You know what I did.... I let him CRY!!!!! I made sure he ate very good before I put him down and I even gave him a bottle..... I rock him to sleep and kiss him good night.... Put him in his bed and his room and close the door... (before I go to bed I turn on the monitor) And I go to SLEEP!!!!! He woke up the first 3 nights and cryed no longer then 30 mins but NOW HE SLEEPS.... Good luck!!!!!!! I really didnt want to let him cry it out but I am a working mom and a student.... my husbands works nights and I need SLEEP!!!! Ihad to do it!!!!!!

30 Comments

View replies by

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2010

300

28

9

My son turned one on the 7th & I have the same problem he has been sleeping in my room since he was 2 Months Old I had reasons to let him sleep in my room cause his room would get hot were he couldn't sleep than I didn't feel safe in our apartment that we lived in so we moved & I tried to put him in his crib he won't sleep he screams to and he also sleeps with a bottle and it is true that if you put the baby in with a bottle they won't know how to self soothe this is my opinion on that is eventually my son will learn to self soothe so I'm not in a hurry to stop him from sleeping without a bottle but I would like for him to sleep in his own room right now he sleeps in my room in his play pen thats were he sleeps I tried having him sleep in his crib for the 1st time last thursday night he screamed and he screamed but eventually he did fall asleep but than kept waking up through the night so the next day he wouldn't go to sleep for a nap so I was like forget it he went back to his play pen I don't know how to get him to sleep in his crib neither

Laura - posted on 04/21/2010

3

6

0

my son will be one on the 24th and will not sleep through in his own cot. He falls asleep drinkin his milk (which i have just read on here is not a good thing) he sleeps till 12;30 the wakes and screams the house down for over an hour to get in bed with us because as a baby he was breastfed so spent alot of time in bed with me feeding. also he can drink anythin between 1-5 bottles of water through the night which is very tiring too. this is my second child but my first slept thru from 8 weeks old and did not drink or eat half as much as this one which though the day is great but not at night :-(

Casey - posted on 04/19/2010

59

23

3

My 1y/o doesn't "sleep thru the night" & I don't expect her to for a while. My son was almost 2 when he began sleeping thru consistantly. I still nurse my daughter at 10 & 2, 3, or 4 when she wakes again- and forget it if she's sick. She's back in my bed.

It sounds to me like she's not ready. If she's so upset, she's puking, that should be a big alarm. I think you should check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" or the "Baby Whisperer" books. Take a step back. Go slower- it takes time to make changes. Easing her into her crib will be neccessary now that she's gotten so upset by the change. Take one thing at a time- get her comfortable in the crib before easing the bottle off. Those books are great for showing you the steps to make changes & developing your own plan (& teaching you how to get from point a to point b, whatever the issue).

Most important things I can say to you are, if it doesn't feel good, or right- then don't do it. And if you wait until they are ready for these things (sleep, nursing etc), then there will be no issue- no problem- no fuss. Took me 2 babies to get that.

Good luck!

Amy - posted on 04/18/2010

5

6

0

My Daughter is the same, she will be one on the 25th and she is still to sleep through the night, she has been in her own room since she was three months old and she still has a bottle at night, there is no reason that your daughter your daughter canno tstill have a bottle, my 2.5 year old nephew still has a bottle before he goes to bed and if he isnt feeling very well he will have them through the night! If you want her to sleep you will have to change things slowly as your daughter is older. I know part of the reason my daughter doesnt sleep is because she is teething and she has some food problems, could these be the same for your child? It is something to think about, particularly if there are allergies and intolerances in the family.

Keren - posted on 04/18/2010

21

22

2

A friend of mine broke the bottle of milk at night habit by giving her son only water at night. After all, they don't need the extra feedings at this point; it's just a habit that needs to be broken. As for waking up at night and crying for you...that's also a habit. My daughter started waking up at 2 am around 11 months old, and I was going in and comforting her, even feeding her because it was so sudden. Then, I realized she was forming a habit, so from then on, when she would wake in the middle of the night, I'd do our bedtime routine all over again. I put her pacifier in her mouth and hold her. I recite Good Night, Moon, sing a lullaby, rock a minute, and lay her down drowsy but awake. She sometimes stands and cries for me, so when she does that I follow these steps. The first time, I go in and say, "It's sleep time!" in a happy tone. I kiss her (without picking her up), lay her down, give her her pacifier, and say "Good night!". The next time, I go in and lay her down, give her the pacifier, and leave. From then on, don't say anything and keep your face neutral. This way, she isn't "crying it out", but I'm not giving in to her habit, either. She has learned to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up in the night, now.

Joanna - posted on 04/16/2010

46

24

3

Well about a month ago I had had it with my son not sleeping through the night. He turns one on the 22nd. I really didn't want to have him cry it out completely and we tried our own version of babysteps to no avail. I bought the Sleep Lady's book, about the Sleep Lady SHuffle, but I was too tired to figure it out (it was step by step) so I hired someone. THe child sleep coach. She was wonderful in helping us understand that at this age there will be some crying, but we kept it at a minimum. And she's affordable. But this is what I've learned reading hte books, and from her. ROutines are a must, that's sets them up to know what to expect. ONce we really were consistent on that getting him to calm down and not cry during the whole process was much easier. put them down drowsy, not asleep. I didn't do that. we rocked him to sleep, so when we put him down and he woke up or woke up in the middle of the night, he would be all freaked out. we started putting him down truly drowsy- yawning, wanting to settle into our arms. He still whines and cries but is usually asleep within 3 minutes. Feeding him to sleep. I always made sure not to do that because I didn't want to be his crutch. at bedtime I nurse him then I read him stories. He had been on a good schedule where he ate at 12, then at 4 or 5. Then something came up and he started wanting to nurse every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. So when I spoke withthe sleep coach, she had me drop the nightime feedings cold turkey. And he's been fine with it. He nurses right when we wakes at 7.
We did the babysteps approach of crying it out. it was a tough few days but he does ok. Now it's not perfect, he still cries going to bed, some nights worse than others, but for the most part he falls asleep in about 3 minutes, and sleeps through the night till about 6:30-7.
The other thing was the naps. they need to sleep in their cribs. and at about 2.5 hours after the last wakeup. and again they may be upset at first, but they get used to the idea of going to sleep on their own. By the way, we had him sleeping in our bed until 4 months, in his crib in our room about 2/3 of the time andthen our bed the rest of hte night till 7 months. We put her into his own room around christmas but we still brought him into our bed. Then we kept him in his room but still couldn't get him to sleep by himslef and stay asleep until after talking to the Child Sleep COach.
I hope this helps. If you really don't want to try any kind of crying it out, try looking up the Sleep Lady. I got her book in Barnes and Noble. it's in amazon, too. My friend is using it on her 2 1/2 DS and it's really been helping her.
Good LUck. I feel for you!

Kristi - posted on 04/16/2010

4

17

0

My little princess just turned one on Wednesday & we did the "cry it out method" about 2 months ago @ the doc's suggestion. It wasn't as bad as I thought, she cried for 3 nights & on the 4th- sleep! She sleeps through the night now about 95% of the time. When she does wake, I just let her fuss a few minutes & she gives up, lays back down & goes back to sleep. Don't start this when they are sick though. I do still rock her to sleep after her last bottle. Our next task is to start learning to go to sleep on her own. And getting off the bottle! Ugh! Good luck everyone & keep posting!

Amber - posted on 04/16/2010

89

13

9

Ok. My sixth baby turned one on the 9th. All of my kids slept in their own beds in their own rooms. I never had an issue with sleep. Until Mitch. He woke up every two hours until nine months of age. His crib was in my room because our house is already stuffed with children, so I kept him with me in order to not disturb the other kids. Out of desperation I called my doctor. She told me that I had to move his crib out of my room, and let him cry it out. She said that even if it seems mean, it's not. Kids need to learn to go to sleep, and stay asleep, on their own, or they don't get the rest they need, and neither do the parents. She said it would be a terrible few nights, and it was, but that he would learn to sleep.

I moved him out of my room, and the first night he cried for two hours, woke up and cried three times for at least an hour on the first night. The next night, we went through it again, but for a shorter time. Third night was about the same. On the fourth night, he cried for about ten seconds when I put him to bed, woke up once in the night, let out a whimper and went back to sleep. After that, it was cake. It has made things so much better long term. Now he is out of my room, and sleeping like a champ!

Now if I could just get him to stop crying to be held all day long, we'd be good. ;)

Amber

Lynn - posted on 04/15/2010

72

32

4

I think I have just been lucky with Jay,he slept in swinging crib next to my bed for 3 months then moved into a full size cot.
He has a sippy cup during day so he knows when he gets a bottle it is nearly bed time,but he only has milk before bed,rarely any other time.He has dinner at around 6pm,then bath,pj's and back downstairs.he has milk while we have a cuddle and story time,then he is in bed at 8.30pm,lullaby cd playing,night light on and he is asleep within 5 minutes.
When I had my first son 13 years ago he used to scream the house down,so my health visitor told me to get into a routine,but once he was in bed,when he screamed,leave it 5 minutes,then go in,say 'mummy is here' then cover him and leave room again.next time,leave it 10 minutes,but don't speak to him,just cover him over,stroke his face then leave again.After that,go into room after longer periods of crying,do not speak and do not touch baby,just let him see you so he knows you are there.That is all it is,separation anxiety,once they know you are going to come back always,they feel secure enough to go to sleep.
If Jay wakes in night now,I do not speak to him,I just check he is clean/dry and not hurt or hungry and then it's back to sleep.
He often wakes at midnight,I stroke his face so he knows I am there and he goes back to sleep until 6.30am.

Another thing we found with first son,he was only waking in night for more small feeds because he had acid.having milk kills acid pain,but an hour or so later the pain is back,so we put a couple of books under end of his bed to raise it slightly and he slept through night because acid could not come up his throat.

Louise - posted on 04/15/2010

260

16

15

A few things you can do.
I agree with Kerrie that you can try to get them into a crib in your room sleeping first.
I have 2 boys and I have only just broken my first son from sleeping in my bed. He's 4 and a half and it has been torture. He didn't sleep a full night in 4 years so it's really important to break it as soon as you can.
First thing is give a bottle before you put them to bed. They then don't associate bottle with bed. You might want to switch to a sippy cup but this is up to you.
I
with my 1 year old I've learned a few things I didn't know. Set a routine and stick to it. My son is changed and given a bottle at 7 and up to bed before half. If he does wake in night I pick him up and cuddle him wind him and check his nappy and put him back down. If he cries I leave him five mins an then go in again. If he's just whinging I wait 10 mins. Nine times out of 10 he's asleepin 2 mins. A bottle is a last resort.
Get him used to the crib in the day put him up for naps etc.
It may take time and some nerves on your part but a week hard work now could saw you 4 years of hell for bedtime. Let me know how you get on.

Christi - posted on 04/15/2010

31

24

0

I reccomend having your husband or partner take the little one in the morning when they wake up and then you go back to sleep. Believe it or not though, if you can just deal with the wakings for a few more months they will learn to sleep on their own eventually without making them scream or cry.

Jessie - posted on 04/15/2010

21

27

0

routein routein routein!!! thats what we do with our daughter then when it comes time to put her in her crib she knows and goes right to sleep. when she cries at night your going to have to ignore it or let her cry a little longer then you normally would. she knows if she cries your coming in so thats why she does it. as for the bottle goes give it to her sooner then you would and and keep getting earlier and earlier till you just take it away. they say it only takes about 3 nights to break a habit plus the older she gets the harder it will be to break

Kirsty - posted on 04/15/2010

4

14

0

Hi my little boy was one on the 14th I have exactly the same problem. He has never shared a bed with me but we have only just moved him out of our room. He will only sleep for 2/3 hours at a time and goes histerical and makes himself sick if I put him to bed. I have to take him up to bed asleep so he doesnt realise he is there. I have had the health visitor and a sleep therapist do special at home visit but still no joy. I have tried leaving him to scream and going back and doing the checks but gave up after 3 weeks of continual screaming at night the neighbours were going crazy. He also drinks about 2 or 3 bottles during the night. You are not a bad mom some kids just do not sleep. But if you find something that helps PLEASE let me know. You are not alone. GOOD LUCK KIRSTY

Leah - posted on 04/15/2010

60

5

4

You know ever kid is different and you have to try different things to see what works for her. My daughter just turned 1 yesturday and she's been sleeping through the night now for a couple of months but it took me awhile to figure out what worked best. I have my daughter on a night time routine. She goes to bed at 8pm so between 7-7:30pm I give her a bath than I get her ready for bed. She is a breastfeed baby so I feed her before I lay her down most of the time she is asleep when I lay her down but if she doesn't go down I will give her a sippy of water and let her cry herself to sleep. I've got a light sleeper so I found that having music playing all night long helped her stay asleep all night. I suggest making a routine if you don't already have one because this makes it so much easier for them to go to sleep. I like the suggestion Kerrie made because it is a huge change from sleeping with you to in her own room. As for a bottle to bed well I can say doctors say it bad but I did it with my oldest daughter in tell she was about 18 months and she's 3 now and has no issues with her teeth so I think it's easier to do one thing at a time and therefore think you should just work on getting her to sleep through the night before you try to break the bottle. I hope this helps a little and good luck! It's not going to happen over night but eventually you will find what works.

Gillian - posted on 04/15/2010

5

22

0

I am so glad to know that others are having the same problems. I feel like I'm losing my mind - I am so exhausted! My son will be 1 on the 29th. He goes to sleep without any problems but doesn't stay asleep. He wakes after 4 hours and then has a drink (I'm still breastfeeding) and goes back to sleep. After that the hell starts - he wakes every hour... I live in a complex with neighbours in very close proximity so it's not easy to just let him cry etc. Not sure how long I can carry on like this! He won't take a dummy or any sort of pacifier like a blanket etc.

Carolyn - posted on 04/13/2010

12

128

1

My daughter also turns one on April 14. She would sleep through the night sporadically over the last couple of months. I would get excited every time she did and pray that it would happen consistently. It would drive me crazy when she didn't and had me wondering if I wasn't giving her enough at her mealtimes or trying to mimic what I did on a day prior to her sleeping thru the night.



She started sleeping in bed with us when she out grew her bassinet but now sleeps in a cot next to our bed. When she was 9 mths I started to teach her to go to sleep on her own by nursing her then putting her in her cot while half asleep and leaving the room. The first night she cried for 10 minutes by the 3rd she was down to less than a minute. Unfortunately, my husband had been away when I did this, so the first night he came back (3 days after) and heard her crying he went and picked her up and put her to sleep on his chest I was so zonked out that night I just let him. Since breaking the cycle, he has been responsible for putting her to sleep at night. It was tumultuous to say the least.



Over the last week she has been sleeping through consistently (fingers crossed) waking between 5 and 7 am. She generally gives us the cues for her last bottle and we start preparing her for bed. He would give her the bottle and when she is finished she would take it out then close her eyes and go off to sleep with my husband next to her sometimes patting or stroking her or nothing at all. He would then transfer her to her cot. Sometimes he would fall asleep too and end up leaving her in the bed. If I come in too late I found that moving her or my movement in the bed disturbed her sleep and she would automatically search for me and want to nurse to get back to sleep. So I would sleep at the bottom of the bed or in another room when this happened and having not found me she would snuggle next to my husband and go back to sleep or just go back to sleep (according to husband's reports or listening in on the monitor).



She also started walking around a lot more over the last week and I wonder if that too has contributed to wearing her out more.



They say it is about consistency on our parts and three nights to the beginning of a habit. I hope you are able to adopt a comforting routine for your little princess. Wishing her a HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY!!

Ashley - posted on 04/10/2010

10

13

0

I used to have that same problem but now my youngest doesnt wake up during the night unless he doesnt feel good. I stop giving him the bottle atleast a week before he was 1, made giving him milk easlier and about 30 mins to an hour before bedtime i would give him a high fiber snack. The fiber fills him up and for a longer period of time. Tristan's fav snack is green beans, they are soft and easier to chew and its good for him too.

Jennifer - posted on 04/10/2010

1

8

0

Thank you. I have been feeling bad that I am in the situation. My son will be one on the 17th and he seems to hate being in his crib at bed time, he just screams and screams. I feel better knowing that I am not alone. I just dont know how to change things, I feel so bad when he just stands and screams until he can barely breath.

Jennie - posted on 04/10/2010

15

4

0

hi . don't feel too bad ! i am almost in the same spot as you --- my son would prefer to sleep with me and breastfeed frequently for a few sips all night! he will wake up and reach out to see if i am there........i have heard from family/friends to tough it out for 2 weeks and since he physically doesn't need me or to nurse , he will give up....hope it works for both of us! i think 1:1 time before bed is crucial, a quiet, snuggly, chance to wind down and of course make sure diaper is dry and tummy is full.

Crystie - posted on 04/10/2010

16

30

1

I am in the same boat. My son will be 1 on the 17th and he still doesn't sleep through the night unless I am right beside him. He will not sleep in his crib for more than a few hours. After those few hours if I put him down he will wake up right away and scream and cry. Then he will not go back to sleep unless I am beside him...it is horrible. I don't know how to break him of it. We have tried letting him cry it out, but he will just cry for hours!! And the longer it goes on the more he cries, He wont really nap either, so I know he is not getting enough sleep, but I don't know how to fix the problem.

Adriann - posted on 04/09/2010

7

1

1

I feel your pain. Mine turned one on the 2nd and he's still not sleeping through the night. What makes it worse for me is that I'm breastfeeding and he still nurses at night. I need to figure out something soon because we have another baby on the way. I've tried letting him cry, but he's so strong willed that he breaks everyone down in the house. :( I will follow this thread for some helpful suggestions.

Wendy - posted on 04/09/2010

3

11

0

My son turned one on the 7th. He was sleeping in his bed and now won't anymore. He is sleeping with us now. I have the same problem that he goes to sleep and put him in his bed and he immediately wakes up and cries. We are not sure how to get him to go back to sleeping in his bed except to let him cry until he goes to sleep on his own.

Pauline - posted on 04/09/2010

1

5

0

I have just had the same problem with my 1 year old. He was still getting a bottle during the night until a few weeks ago. I searched online for some advice and got some good pointers. The first was dont let your baby go to sleep drinking a bottle at night as he then thinks thats the only way he can get to sleep. I started giving him his last bottle after dinner. Put your baby in their cot to go to sleep. As soon as he looks sleepy i put him in. The first few nights was a nightmare. He screamed his head off and kept standing up in his cot but i just kept lying him back down until he got fed up and just went to sleep. If he wakes in the night i give him a cup of water tho he now sleeps most night through til 6am.

Vandana - posted on 04/07/2010

2

9

0

My daughter won't sleep through the night either but she has been sleeping in her cot and in her room for past three months. Two things cam in handy for me .....the pacifier and her fav stuff toy( baby winnie the pooh) Try a fav toy of your daughter. My daughter also likes music so i play a lullaby cd for her.

Kerrie - posted on 04/07/2010

27

47

4

my daughter is one on the 24th an she slept in ed with us when smaller , we broke the habit about 4 months ago we had the cot next to our bed , then after a week moved it to the end of our bed , an then into her room , it took a while but it worked an she now goes an sleeps in there , we did it gradulary so she new it was not a bad thing to go into her cot , she now sleeps in her own room , but she has 2 bottles threw out the night . and i am in no rush to get them off her , as its a comforter when she wakes up . Xx

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms