Throwing tantrums?

Melissa - posted on 03/21/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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How do I deal with my 23 month old daughter throwing tantrums and mood swings in the evenings? I work four days a week for 9-10 hours a day. I miss my daughter so much during the day and come home to her crying, whining, throwing tantrums, begging for snacks, and not wanting to just play happily. What could I do to make coming home pleasant for her and I and also be able to get dinner made, housework done, etc? I know the "terrible two's" are here but there has to be a balance????

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Mandy - posted on 04/14/2011

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i dont know how you might feel about this but it worked with my kids... when they throw there fit try to make it fun, if she throws herself on the floor screaming you do the same thing then tell her how fun it is. laugh and giggle but dont give her what she wants. if it doesnt bother you she wont do it. she is trying to get what she wants by throwing a fit and if it doesnt bother you and she doesnt get what she wants she will find other ways to get your attention. just remind her that if she asks using big girl words she may get what it is she is after.

Angeline - posted on 04/05/2011

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Sounds like, by the time you come home from work, your daughter is tired, hungry, and has missed you tremendously. She is just venting it all out on you. I also have a 23 month old daughter and, since she can't verbalize her emotions yet, she'll also throw tantrums when she's tired, hungry, or upset. Try this idea: create a coming-home routine starting with a few minutes of undivided attention to your little one, and then feeding time for her (I like what Lee said about saving your last night's dinner) while you begin dinner preparation. While dinner's cooking (let hubby help out here), give her a bath and then put her to bed. Hope this helps, and may there be peaceful evenings in your household soon...

Jenny - posted on 03/30/2011

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I realize what I'm about to say is MUCH easier said than done. I have a very difficult time doing it. But ignore the tantrums. If you are making sure you are giving you child the love and one on one time they need, that they are healthy and safe and they are throwing tantrums just because, ignore it. In public take a deep breath and calmly explain no, this is not ok, and this behavior is not how you get what you want. If needed leave the store (try and stay calm - even force yourself to smile) and once the tantrum has ended remind them that they need to ask for things they want, but that doesn't mean you will always say yes. At home I just don't let the attention seeking behavior interfere with what I'm doing. If she is going to throw a tantrum over nothing thats her choice. Now I'm also a SAHM with a small business on the side so I have plenty of time to snuggle and play with her too.
I think if you are working for extended periods maybe make a big deal out of coming home. Big hugs, I missed yous and I love yous. Maybe go for a walk or spend some time coloring while dinner is in the oven. Sit down together for the meal and tell them about your day. Ask about theirs. Even though they can't have full conversations yet, knowing that time is for them and you care is what's important, and they do understand. Then just keep a simple bed time routine. I think this is still an age where routine is helpful so they always know what's coming next. Tantrums will probably still happen. If there's a reason for it, try and resolve the issue, if not then ignore it.
Hope this helps!

Leona - posted on 03/22/2011

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Hi Melissa. I find that getting Juno involved in what I am busy with helps to keep the tantrums at bay. Yes sometimes there is more of a mess than when we first started, but neither of us have our blood pressures boiling and it gives us time together. I understand it is very hard and tiring to be a working mom, but just know you are not alone. I think the reason for the tantrum is purely to get a reaction from you because you are away from each other for long periods and she is testing your patience.
Another stratgey that may work is when you get home, spend your time with her and once she is in bed, then do the household chores and maybe cook for two evenings that way when you get home the following evening, all you need to do is heat and serve and she gets your attention.

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Amanda - posted on 04/17/2011

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Your not alone my son does the exact same thing...I can't go in the kitchen without my son throwing a tantrum cause he is wanting something

Windy - posted on 04/01/2011

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My daughter is 23 months old and throwing terrible screaming and crying tantrums. My daughter is special needs so finding out that her tantrums are actually normal was thrilling. That said, they drive me nuts. Try letting her make small choices like what salad dressing to put on, or which should we do first your laundry or mine. And let her know it is a huge help.

Lee - posted on 03/30/2011

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My little fella is tired at the end of the day. He has last nights dinner every night so when we make our dinner we put his out then put it in the fridge for the next night. No waiting for food, he then gets a bath and some quiet time to read a book or whatever and in bed 7.30 - 8 pm. As there is two of us one of us starts dinner to have it ready when he goes to bed. If she is asking for snacks she is probably hungry so that would be one way to counteract that. Then you get to spend some quality time with her in the bath (that's one of our fun times anyway) and you can try and fit in some housework once she is in bed. I know its really hard I have a 5 mth old as well but I was working from when he was 3 mths til 2 wks before my daughter was born. We also do heaps of slow cooker meals get it all ready the night before and then just have to put it in the slow cooker on low in the morning and dinner is ready when you get home. As for tantrums I ignore them that was the advice my mum who has 5 kids gave me and its awesome. My older daughter was a button pusher and I ignored her tantrums and they didn't last long at all it was when I reacted they got worse so I do the same with my son and they have pretty much stopped already. Worked for me anyway. Good luck!

Judy - posted on 03/22/2011

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I'm an at home mom and my daughter has tantrums everyday I give her the time and attention but yet she still has her fits and when we go out its worse because I can't leave her side because she starts to cry she throws her self I can't say no or don't do that nothing what can I do to change her reaction

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