Ashlee - posted on 03/12/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )




Getting ready for his first deployment. Not looking forward to it. Anyone have suggestions on how to ease the pain?


View replies by

Candi - posted on 08/05/2010




I have been through 3 deployments (15 mos, 12 mos, and 12 mos). The first one we were in Germany and traveled alot!! I only had 2 kids then, the other 2 deployments we lived in TX and it was awful! Still a 26 hour drive from family or friends! But we stayed busy. We had 3 kids by this point and we had school, church, scouts, dance, and whatever else we could find! I did a lot of home repair projects too and boy did the time fly by then!! Thinking you have a ton of sneaks by on you!! We owned our house in TX, so we had the freedom to work on it as much as we wanted. During deployments is also time to experiment with different hair styles or whatever. Tht way if you go to an extreme, it will be back to normal before your husband gets back. lol. Don't dwell on him not being there, just think of how great things will be when he gets back!!

Kaete - posted on 08/04/2010




We're gearing up for our first, as well (my husband was deployed once before we met, but this is our first since we got married in May). My daughter is having a really hard time with it.

I work and go to school, so I'm looking forward to being busy. My husband is in the Reserves, so we don't have a post where everyone lives, but my husband and a couple guys from the unit got me and their wife/girlfriend together, and we totally hit it off. We're all so thankful to have each other to lean on. Make use of the supports that you have, be it the FRG, friends, family, whatever.

Also, don't forget your "civilian" friends. They may not totally understand, but they might know and understand YOU like no one else can, and they CAN still give you some much-needed love and support.

Write lots of letters, send lots of care packages, and if you need a day to feel sorry for yourself, go ahead and take it. **hugs** Hang in there!!

Crystal - posted on 07/02/2010




we are getting ready for our first one as a family in the fall i have looked around at the kid stuff so i can take my 3 yr and planning on homschooling her for 3yr school and maybe i will go see our family since we are stationed in our home state but not sure yet if i will i like to keep to myself and i dont like ppl feeling sorry for us the way i have made some friends here we will see how that goes dont like drama at all

Leanna - posted on 06/08/2010




As everyone says, stay busy. Just be careful not to wear yourself to exhaustion because then it makes it harder. Now would be the best time to join a gym or get a part time job.
The only thing that helped me survive though my husbands first deployment while pregnant was window shopping and trying to track down old friends I lost contact of.
Any and all help from friends and family will make it that much easier.
You'll make it through, I promise! ^_^

Toni - posted on 05/04/2010




For you: Just remember it is one year for the rest of your lives together. A year seems like a long time but if you think about your life together, it doesn't compare. Try to stay busy with constructive things and surround yourself with positive people who love and support your relationship.
For the kids: Do lots of fun activities that include things to send to Dad. Let them know that it is ok to miss and help them learn how to cope with those feelings.
For your husband: Try to find a balance between burdening him with problems at home and keeping him involved with any possible issues. Men need to feel important and needed. But, they don't need the stress of having to deal with any major issues over there. Ask him his opinon and tell him whats going on. Let him know that is opinion is valued but you can handle it!
For the Family: Get a webcam. Best thing you can do when they are far away! Best of luck to you. Let me know if I can ever do anything to help!!

Danielle - posted on 05/01/2010




its very hard and i think the first one is the hardest. this is our first deployment. i'm in Germany with my 2 kids. We find things to do every day.. I also get out there and go to the px and the commissary and i meet people. It getting a little easier for me now that im getting to know people here also getting involved with everything that goes on. it helps alot..

Keely - posted on 04/06/2010




my husband is due to deploy in Dec, however he is stationed over in Germany and im still in the states waiting on command sponsorship paperwork to go through. I feel your pain. You hear it alot, but stay busy and dont forget that its OK to cry. Sometimes thats all you need is a good cry. If you know a mary kay consultant, throw a spa party and have your girls over and relax. Hang in there, it does get a little easier.

Jacki - posted on 04/04/2010




I'm there with ya girl! We're preparing for our first deployment this summer :(

feel free to check out my deployment diary on youtube

I'll be sharing, and baring it all when it comes to feelings about the deployment.

Pretty much what everyone else has suggested is what has been suggested to me. I'm still not looking forward to it :(

Meagan Mary Fisher - posted on 03/22/2010




I am on my second deployment and yes staying busy helps a lot. I went home and I have to say that it was really hard being around people that do not understand what we are going through. If you have other wives that you are friends with stay near the base and trust me you will stay busy and they will be able to help you.

Tamara - posted on 03/19/2010




Keep busy. Work, volunteer, make friends, visit family, go to school, or get a hobby. When my husband deployed he made the kids a video of him reading to each of them a special book that I would let them watch at night.

Hilary - posted on 03/18/2010




With my 1st one it was hard on the kids but before my husband left he told our oldest to look at the moon everynight and tell it anything he wanted him to and that the moon would give Daddy the message. This helped my sons a great deal even now they use it. They have a toy that is call something like moon in my roon that I got him so they could each have a "daddy's moon" in their rooms. That's just one small thing that helped us get through them. I wish you the best of luck!!

Andrea - posted on 03/17/2010




Corinne is right. If you keep yourself busy, the time will go by faster. I took some long vacations to visit with family and friends. I also started school which at the time I had an infant and a toddler kept the rest of my time filled. The first three months and the last three months were the worst for me. The first three months made me think of how long a year really was, and the last three months didn't seem to go fast enough. But you can do it.

Corinne - posted on 03/13/2010




the only way im getting through it is by staying busy! if i sit at home to long i start thinking way more than i should! do some traveling, get a part time job if you can...anything to keep you out of the house!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms