How about a "Kids say the darnest thing" quote?

  • Nicole says:
    My 6 year old informing me that she knows everything...already.

  • Francine says:
    My kids say the darnest things but I cannot come up with one thing right now

  • Amanda says:
    well, she doesn't talk yet so I don't have one of those either

  • Rachel says:
    My son was eating a lemon slice and was trying to share w/ his daddy. well daddy went to take a bite and my son told his daddy i told you to suck it not bite it. it was so cute... he thinks he's the boss over everyone...

  • Amanda says:
    Olivia talks just like me, everything is apparently this and apparently that, and she uses the word obsessed a lot... my little mini me!

  • Melissa says:
    They can't really talk yet but the other day the boys were watching the video Daddy made for them and Aiden went up to the TV, touched Matt's face and said Dada.

  • patrice says:

  • Nicole says:
    Do you want a piece of me... or I have my eyes one you....

  • shauna says:
    one hundred percent they do ......Chris told the doctor he needed to brush his teeth and doc said my how honest i just ate a mint .........

  • Aimee says:
    He isn't talking yet. He's advanced but not that advanced. He does however have lungs like I've never heard before. He grips so hard you can feel the pressure & he already lifts his head to look around.

  • Anonymous says:
    I like when we are driving by Toys R us and Blake calls it "Toys For Us"

  • Tarsha says:

  • Angela says:
    And way too many of these!!

  • Jessica says:
    She doesnt talk enough yet to give me any cute quotes ... cant wait but!

  • Victoria says:
    Kevin always says funny stuff, learning about things and questioning stuff.

  • Lory says:
    my daughter saying "oh shit" for weeks after hearing me say it once. She was only 3. Cute once but not for that long

  • Amanda says:

  • Micaela says:

  • Anonymous says:
    Once again To Many

  • Jenae says:

  • Laura says:
    Whenever I'm gone for a couple hours away from home, my lovely hubby tells Courtney I'm out with my boyfriend. So I arrive home to a "How's your boyfriend" EVERY time.

  • Anonymous says:
    She put on my glasses and declared that she could read now.

  • Kate says:
    there have probably been tonnes of these, but I can't think of one

  • Melissah says:
    "Scared me outta the crap" "Mum u make me drive nuts" I got plenty!! lol

  • Jamie says:
    "look mommy, I have a little weiner and daddy has a big weiner" ha ha ha

  • Melissa says:
    Abby- "Mommy you beter slow down or the cops will be after you!" Mommy- "Dont worry hun, cops dont pull over minivans" Abby- "I will have to tell Daddy Joe to get a minivan then, cuz he always gets yelled at by the cops..."

  • Leah says:
    I asked her yesterday,"do u love momma" she shrugs her shoulders and goes no. LOL

  • Amy says:
    my kid doesnt talk yet, but she is starting to firt with her daddy!

  • Jacqui says:
    OMG her mouth never stops!!! And used to (well still does) say whatever comes to mind!

  • Pamela says:
    I have to think about that one

  • Hilda says:
    he doesnt talk yet

  • Melissa says:
    Cailyn is very interested in the rules of the road and told me that one of the rules is that you shouldn't drink wine while you are driving. I thought it was too funny!

  • Anonymous says:
    "Mommy you know boys have peckers and girls have china!" Christopher 3 yrs old I thought it was soo cute he still says girls have chinaS. and he is 7

  • Sarah says:
    hard to say .

  • Deb says:
    I have one, but prefer not to share.

  • Desiree says:
    Alexika at 5 "mommy, when I'm a grown up do I have to have boobs like you?" she wasn't a fan of them hanging out all the time, lol.

  • Carly says:
    she cant talk just yet.

  • Lisa says:
    Jasmine used to call my Dads' chest hair, "Poppy's feathers".

  • Sarah says:
    My ex mother in law made a Jam cake once, and my daughter walked around for two weeks telling everyone her nana stanley made THE best damn cake in the whole world!

  • Natasha says:

  • Diana says:
    can't think but usually cameron is trying to pronounce something but the way he says it sounds like it has a bad word in it lol

  • Dominique says:
    Again can't think of anything right now???

  • Mary says:
    My youngest son gets a whooping and says,"You hit me."

  • melissa says:
    Me and my youngest son was in the store one time and this large women walked by and he said "man your fat". I told him to tell her he was sorry and he said"I'm sorry you're so fat." I didn't know what to say but SORRY

  • Ashley says:
    somehow said something that sounded like 'boob' last week... im not counting that as her first word lol

  • Angie says:
    I'll get back to this one

  • Paula says:
    i dont think he's quite old enough for that yet!!!!

  • Sarah says:
    When maddy went to day care and told her teacher "My daddys having a baby, its in his fat belly" I couldn't stop laughing when they told me what she had said

  • Claire says:
    still to come.

  • lindsey says:
    kayden says too many things...i cant believe some of things she says,or where she gets them from

  • Bonita says:
    No words yet, just gurgles and giggles

  • Ewa says:
    instead of saying "truck", josh would say it so it sounded like the "f" word.

  • Tanya says:
    As my child walks out of the bathroom, she announces to everyone...I had a big poop...just like mommy had a big poop today!

  • Anonymous says:
    He's not talking yet, but he does say 'yea' to everything which can be funny.

  • Kat says:
    When my daughter told her brother to take a bath

  • Amanda says:
    when my husbands grandfather passed away right before christmas we were all sitting in the living room talking about the old times and just stories about grandpa and everyone was upset and crying and little darion spoke up and said" i dont understand why everyone is upset grandpa got the best christmas present ever cuz he gets to see grandma". grandma had passed the year before.

  • Mel says:
    on his first day of play school he tryd to get on the side and this boy said no i'll kill u and alie just stood there and said I'll cut your head off! dont no where he heard it!

  • Anonymous says:
    At a first grade parent teacher conference, the teacher asked me when my husband was coming in to speak to the class. This certainly caught me off guard as I couldn't imagine what my then husband would be addressing the first grade class about. I asked, "What do you mean?" She said, "Your husband is a police officer right?" I chuckled, "Well not exactly, why?" she said, "Logan said his dad was a cop and asked if he could bring him in for show and tell".

  • Kaylia says:
    ...she doesn't talk yet. Only babbles lol.

  • Michelle says:
    How about when I told my 2yo (Aisling), "I love you!" and she responded, "I love the baby!" LOL.

  • Anonymous says:
    When my youngest was about 4 yrs old he had an allergic reaction to a bug bite and his ear blew up about 4 times its regular size (not kidding) he was taking a bath and I and I asked him if he thought he was the bomb and with the utmost confidence he said Yup.....But not wit da ear doe (phonetically speaking) I couldn't stop laughing.

  • Emma says:
    after my husband had is vasetamy my eldest girl asked why did daddy have to castratded

  • Carie says:
    my step daughter said this to me she about 5/6 at the time i was buying femine products at the store, we were also with my husband and in the middle of the store she yells "hey my mom wears the same diapers"

  • DESIREE says:

  • Marie says:
    my son said; i have a sweet tooth too and i know which one it is, its this one here!!!

  • Lisa says:
    When my oldest daughter was 2 and "supposed" to be napping, I walked in her room to find her looking intently out the window. When I asked her, "Hailey, what are you doing?" she casually responds, "Just lookin' for Giraffes."

  • julie says:
    My daughter always used big words, so my brother asked her something that needed a simple yes or no. She says "perhaps"

  • Victoria says:
    when I my daughter would answer the phone after you say tell them Im not home...and she says "my mommy says she's not home"

  • Kisha says:
    He made up a song about shaking his penis & decided to sing it right after a bath!

  • LaKisha says:
    This lady pinched Jordan on the cheeks when he was little and got in his face telling him how cute he was and he told her that her breath stinks.

  • Rebecca says:
    LOL! Again there are so many of these!

  • Tina says:

  • shanna says:

  • Kelly says:
    "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Kay. Kay. Kay. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom." or Mommy says, "Andrew, is daddy a loser?" Andrew replies, "yeah!!!"

  • Amelia says:

  • Anonymous says:
    We were eatting Chinese one time when Molly (who was probably 7 or 8 at the time) called crab rangoons "Cranberry goons". We've teased her so much about it that I have to think about it or that's what I'll call them.

  • Wyona says:
    Dylan used to tell me "we are burning daylight" way when he was little before it was a Dr. Phil saying....

  • Michelle says:
    when maelee came running in the living room and said mommy---I have a freckle on my fluffy-LOOK!!!!

  • Just says:
    "I WILL tell Grandpa. And you know HOW he gets...." "The punkin don't fall too far from the tree" "Momma, you got eyes in the backka yer head???"

  • Anonymous says:
    One day Danny was up on the roof cleaning the gutters out and Hallie looked out the patio door and said, "What the hell is my dad doing on the roof". But if that wasn't bad enough, she told my grandpa the story, word for word. I thought I was going to die!

  • crystal says:
    If i kiss this frog it will turn into a prince because i am 'THE HOTTEST PRINCESS EVER"..........Oh yes that is what she said......LOL.

  • Cassie says:
    Blaine-yelled "I Farted Mommy" from the top of the playground at McDonalds one day! I just looked around like everyone else-like who's kid is that!! HAHA!!

  • Amber says:

  • Kristen says:
    In the car on our way home from La Grande, OR (5 hour car ride) Kamden - "Mom, Mommy, Mom - Did you cut the cheese?" Me - "What? what cheese do you want?" Kamden - "No mom did you cut the cheese? It smells disgusting mom."

  • Charlie says:
    wish he could talk

  • Tonya says:
    not yet ;) a little too early for that

  • PAULA says:

  • Mari says:
    After arguing with Yared jr, that I was not "white" I am Mexican which is actually a little brown, and Daddy having to step in to save me - "Jr finally concedes " Mom you are a little brown....and a whole lot of white"...He was 4 I will forgive him someday.

  • Anonymous says:
    She doesn't speak yet!

  • Anonymous says:
    My kids have all said "It's fuckin coldy"... yeah since we live in MN and we say "It's fuckin cold" like everyday in the winter they all picked that up but put the 'y' behind 'cold' like baby talk.

  • clare says:
    we were in the middle of a shop and she started shouting mummy, mummy and i said yes and she shouted i just farted and started laughing! everyone round us turned and laughed!!

  • Jennifer says:
    theres too many of those too

  • Carol says:
    tell your friends your parents don't wear p.js

  • Kita says:
    When he didn't know any better he called me "Kita" repeating what his dad use to say & it use to piss me off so bad.

  • Emma says:
    we walked into the doctors and before i said a thing she said 'daddy did it' she was 18 months old and didnt really know what it meant lol

  • Krystal says:
    "Get me outta here!" when she was in her cot the other day.

  • Jordan says:
    "My daddy has a big gigantic doodle, but mine is small" LOL LOL

  • Elz says:

  • Joanne says:

  • Jennifer says:
    My daughter the BIG MOUTH is always saying things she should'nt!! SHE THINKS ITS FUNNY!!! So secrets with that one

  • Kathryn says:
    hes only got a few words right now...so nothing really

  • Nadine says:
    Not talking yet so will wait for that one...

  • Kirsten says:
    In May 2007, Keaton came home claiming he broke his leg. Not believing my little Drama King I gave him an ice pack and told him to keep his leg up. I then went on to finish painting my kitchen. After 10 hours, Rick remarked that Keaton's knee was HUGE so I took him to the ER. The nurse asked Keaton why it took so long to get to the ER and he said, "My mom wanted to finish painting the kitchen." Yes, that was the year I won "Mother of the Year"!

  • Elizabeth says:
    LOL none yet

  • Savannah says:
    i'll get back to you on that one

  • Anna says:
    when ruby shouts wake up at 5am and jumps on top of me luckily she usually goes back to sleep

  • Amanda says:
    well all he says right now is "Mama"

  • stephanie says:
    she says hiya n then says out n hits ur leg lol x

  • Judy says:
    I can't remember one with my kids, I know there was but I remember a recent one with my grandson while I was sick,,,the kids hadn't seen me for awhile and I was feeling better so they brought them all over, Connor came and sat by me he said Gma, you still have hair and I said yea, gma ya know what i heard on tv, i asked him what, he said well i heard that hot dogs will help cure cancer,,seriously he looked at me and said thats what i heard,,i told him well maybe i should try eating them then...moments gave me lots of reason to hang on..

  • Carina says:
    she doesn't speak yet

  • Carrie says:
    too many to write

  • Nicole says:
    My son was 8 months old when his dad went to jail so we lived with my parents, he got very close to my dad... one day a little girl asked him what his daddy's name was. He said " I call him grandpa Kevin" :)

  • Cyndi says:
    He's not a big talker yet, but it is kind of funny that he likes to call so many people Dada.

  • Leslie says:

  • Gail says:
    Again, so many I can't remember them all which is sad, I should write them down.

  • Lauren says:
    Hes too young to talk yet

  • donna says:

  • Sam says:
    he carnt talk yet

  • Sonja says:
    haha, we were at wal-mart once and ppl always come up to me and tell me how cute my kids are and on one particular occassion a very elderly man walked up to us and started talking to Autumn and saying how pretty she is and Autumn says "You know what?" and the man says "whats that?" and Autumn says "You're really old!" I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

  • Kym says:
    Lol... Codys just started saying boobies =D... Dunno who tought him though

  • Danielle says:

  • Karen says:
    my son said...look at momm'ys cute ass

  • Jessica says:

  • Jodie says:
    she can't talk yet :(

  • Amanda says:
    "Daddy I'm busy, your pissing me off" at four years old

  • Anonymous says:
    Sara saw a lobster in the tank with a cracked shell, and some meat hanging out. She told me she felt sorry for the lobster with his "chicken" hanging out.

  • Jessica says:
    dont have one of those yet

  • Katie says:
    Jayin always says the darnest things..... I can't just think of one good one.

  • Jamie says:
    Well someone was asking Bryelle if she was potty training and she said "yes I make noise on the potty"

  • Tiffany says:
    Oh, She feel down once and said(plain as day) "Awww shit" we were in shock.

  • tamara says:

  • Kristen says:
    He can't talk yet, but he has said Sh@t (you can figure that out) very cleary several times...lol

  • Adana says:
    My little man tells me when he "shits", for some reason, someone is using that word with him.

  • carla says:
    stephen told mom that she needed to whip me because i took the phone away from him...it was kinda cute

  • Johanna says:
    Chase can't talk yet.

  • Shanna says:
    When he called my fiancee' a "BOOB". (I don't cuss around my boy so I use other words like the one above)

  • Adriana says:
    He hasnt really done anything out of the ordinary.

  • Jaimie says:
    My kids, out of no where, told titi jessica "I pinch your boobies" on the phone. I was mortified....

  • Kelly says:
    Aghh they have so many cute sayings.

  • Amie says:
    she doesn't talk a whole lot yet. but anytime she hears a dog bark she starts saying dog over and over till we find the dog

  • Cammy says:
    same as above

  • Heather says:
    The most recent would have to be Miss Paxton telling me to hurry up and marry Kahl so she can call him dad. This is after I explained that Kahl is not her dad cause we are not married. lol

  • Stephanie says:
    See the answer for #8

  • Brandy says:
    He is now really talking a lot so really everything he is saying is so darn funny.

  • Erin says:

  • Anonymous says:
    "It's FREAKIN COLD HERE!" when Danielle was 3 and we were moving up WA state, we got to Vancouver, WA and went outside at a rest stop.

  • Blayr says:
    mom u hear me im talkin to you do u hear me mommy im talkin to you

  • Anastacia says:
    while one evening his "christian" godfather gave us a ride home. Of course my little imp was a perfect angel until the car went in a pothole. He opened his eyes wide and said "Oh Shit!" as clear as day.

  • audrey says:

  • Kristy says:
    my little girl called me a bastard lol she herd someone say it in the street

  • Nikki says:
    He doesn't say a lot, it's a lot of jabber at the moment!

  • Samantha says:
    all she says is ba dad and mmmmmm, so not alot

  • Anamaria says:
    dont know. he hasnt really said n e thing.

  • Lucie says:
    Everyone is already who they are going to be, they just don't know it yet.

  • Sam says:
    `mummy u look like a teabag drinking all that tea "

  • Jessie says:
    Braelyn had to pee REALLY bad. We were sitting at the table and see her run in the bathroom and then we hear in a whisper...."phew! that was a close one!!"

  • Charlene says:
    "Are your mothers breasts broken?" Seeing a 2 year old with a bottle in the park

  • Liz says:
    he says at night sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite,if they do squash them flat,i guess,god bless

  • Annalee says:
    not talking yet.....:-)

  • Rebecca says:
    Same as above LOL

  • Jodie says:
    when they sware when its the right to say it

  • Lauren says:
    He can't talk yet lol

  • Jennifer says:
    He doesn't talk

  • Jessica says:
    Justus doesn't talk yet, but he did invite me to have a screaming contest with him this morning. The dog loved that!

  • Dawn says:
    not yet

  • Rhonda says:
    Tucker's favorite new thing to say is, "Facebook is dangerous"

  • Debbie says:
    Nothing yet. all she says is dada mama baba and gaga

  • nicky says:
    he told my mum once that she didnt use anti wrinkle cream cos she had wrinkles and when she said that she did he replyed back and well you must use the night one instead of the day cream cos it doesnt work!!!

  • Angela says:
    Jude is in the stage of Repeating everything we say...which comes out in half words and gibberish.

  • Tiffany says:
    Not quite yet.....

  • Amber says:
    he has speech apraxia so I have missed out on alot of the funny sayings but thats ok! i have him and I know him on a different level than most people know their children.

  • stephanie says:
    he isn't talking yet

  • Racheal says:
    When I was prego with Aspen.... Aiden hurt his finger so I laughed... even after I kissed it I was laughing at him... he looked at me and while he was crying said or yelled..." DON'T LAUGH YOU WILL PEE YOUR PANTS!!!!!"

  • Anonymous says:
    out to dinner at mcdonalds when asked by staff how was their meal levi said "great but i dont like the pimples on my burger" driving round town on australia day with the windows down stopped at an intersection when destiny screans out "look at all the fags" ppl turned around and looked not knowing she meant flags but couldt say it properly. we then rolled the windows up

  • bexiie says:

  • michelle says:
    too many to answer

  • Becky says:
    can't think of one

  • Liz says:
    I was pregnant with Ava and Hillary and I were standing in line at Zellers and Hillary proceed to tell everyone in line that her mom is pregnant and the baby is going to come out of her(my) vagina,,yup,she used those words.All I could do was look at the people and say,,"well lets hope"

  • Anonymous says:
    After he rfather had a liitle bit too much to drink she said your legs are walking funny

  • Yvonne says:
    like when you are at the grocery store and Nate points at a "heavy set" womane and says.." boy is she fat" loud enough that she heard him.

  • Anonymous says:
    Too many to pick one

  • Anonymous says:
    At walmart the cashier told Abby if she dropped her lolly pop it would break and as loud as she could she said " OH COME ON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THIS THING ISNT GONNA BREAK". OR the day she told our babysitter who happens to be the daughter of one of the Drs that I work with. " Rachael quit f***ing around and play with me".

  • Pamela says:
    aint quiet talkin propley yet

  • Angela says:
    Hmmmm.....she always says the darnest things. She just has been saying this a lot lately, when I have been spraying my body spray, she will come over and say "Mommy, I want sprayed, I smell like a dead bird". I have no clue why.

  • Cindy says:
    cant think of one right now....

  • Caroline says:
    I cant remember but my kids always say the darnest thing! Ill have to get back to you on that.

  • Becky says:
    No matter what you compliment her on, her response will always be, "No, Just Cassidy"

  • Ashley says:
    The one that just happened the other day, so it's fresh in my memory... we were eating at my dad's mom&pop burger joint and there was a couple, probably 40ish leaving, and koby said "Mom, is that an old man?!?!?"

  • Brittany says:
    last night her dad was taking her out of the car and he took her toy out of her hand to un-do the seatbelt and she screamed at him and then looked him in the eyes and gave him the pout lip and screamed one more time!!! Thats my girl :)

  • Anonymous says:
    Brent stops at red light and then after making sure no traffic was coming, he turns right. Jesse starts yelling "red light, red light, NOOOOOO"

  • Jennifer says:
    He's only 14 months . . . not saying a whole lot other than bables.

  • donna says:

  • Alicia says:
    williams say " let me think about it no !!!! "

  • Jonine says:
    We're in church and the preacher is teaching about family and how we should all love and learn to laugh and he pauses to catch his breath and Petra (age 5) says loud enough for everyone to hear, "We NEVER laugh at home!" Nobody even laughed in the congregation - which made it actually seem worse. After that everytime we would laugh at home I'd tell Petra not to laugh because we don't laugh at home.

  • Cecilia says:
    "Mom, I'm going to be bridezilla for God."

  • Cassandra says:
    mum mum pooh

  • Lisa says:
    Daniel said one day at my work when he was really little 2 or 3.."my mommy yells at daddy"...

  • Kimberly says:
    Don't have one

  • Heather says:
    I'd better not

  • Ashley says:
    If I start scolding her about something, her favorite reply is "Mommy, just calm down."

  • Rhiannon says:
    austin says TONS of adorable/ funny things...."taxi car" "shovel truck" "hurry call the firefighters...smoke!" (in response to frank having a small fire)

  • Morgan says:
    Michael sat in the bathroom floor drying Ashley's hair, when he finished she turned to him and said "hold on Daddy, I have to get up first." he asked why and she said "'Cause I have to help you up cause you are getting old." Thats what he gets for always saying he's gettin old!

  • Anonymous says:
    She told me other day she was gonna make an "exact replica". Where does a 7 year old even hear that word????

  • Melissa says:
    Kylie was 3 and she was brushing her teeth and had been learning about cavities and came running in the kitchen and said "Mom, Mom, I brushed my brains out"......I fell out laughing.

  • Erica says:
    she cant talk

  • Marcia says:
    cant think of one at the moment

  • Anonymous says:
    well hes only 6 months so the funniest thing hes "said" is growling

  • Stephanie says:
    we dont even want to go there

  • Selina says:
    can't think of one, pregnancy brain

  • Tina says:
    When my son Jacob was about 6 years old, he decided he was going to jump off of his dresser onto his bed, but he missed and hit the floor, all he said was "Quick call 911"

  • Carla says:
    Andrew comes up w/ some real classics, but nothing jumps out at me right now.

  • Kylie says:
    every day there is something differnt that they say that always makes us laugh!

  • Hayley says:
    my little boy say all sorts of stuff he is very funny most of the time

  • elizabeth joy says:
    it was a while ago .there is to many to pick one

  • sue says:
    can't think of any

  • jamie says:
    i remember when anya was about 2 we were on our way back from seeing santa and mike told anya he was gonna kick her ass(just messin with her) and she said "no dad, ill kick ur ass!" in those exact words, i laughed until i cried!

  • Leanne says:
    shut up minga

  • helen says:
    doesnt talk yet

  • Petra says:
    She doesn't speak yet. xD

  • Cathryn says:
    "ur my best friend mama"

  • Chezronda says:
    hes not talking yet!

  • Mariel says:

  • bobbie sue says:
    mommy weard your hair go lol

  • Tracey says:
    when I was pregnant with my 3rd son one of my boys asked me if we were going to throw him away when the new baby comes

  • Anonymous says:
    When my oldest son was little he seen his first african american man on the bus and said " Mom halloween is over how come his face is still painted?". Loudly enough for everyone to hear.

  • Eboni says:
    Yeah same thing. And him saying "What the shit?"

  • Stacy says:
    Hasn't said anything yet

  • Tameka says:

  • Jenni says:
    Everything Peyton says is classic! It is hard to choose

  • Kristina says:
    We walked by a woman n Mia loudly asked "is that a boy"?! And I was gettin' the girls cookies at the mall n to get a discount I told the guy I worked at the mall n forgot my badge n Angel was like "you don't work at the mall" right after he rung me up!!

  • Roxanne says:
    not got one, Conner dont speak yet

  • Kelly says:
    Again...'hello treacle'!! He's 3 by the way!

  • Johnnie says:
    Shes starting to talk, but no quotes yet..

  • Brittany says:
    haven't got to that stage yet. still learning to talk

  • Laura says:
    Cameron asking for a pair of slippers for his plush snake, forgetting that snakes don't have feet!!

  • Billie says:
    I can't remember that far back...lol. But I'm sure they said alot!

  • lisa says:

  • Brandi says:
    She can't talk yet!

  • Bec says:
    lol my kids say too many random things to pick one

  • Anonymous says:
    too many to choose from yet again lol

  • Jen says:
    See above lol

  • Donna says:
    nope lol

  • Joanne says:
    When my son Will was 2, we took him into Perth City where a little African man was playing the drums in the street. COming from an English family, he hadnt yet encountered many small very dark men with bright yellow jacket on. he promptly ran up Hay Street screaming " I dont like the monkey man, help me" His dad and I could have died from embarrasment.! David was 4 when his uncle Michael took him to watch L'Pool v Man U. Being a pool fan, Michael went in the Lpool end. he nearly shit himself when Man U scored and David jumped up screaming for Giggsy!! Michael has olive skin and when watching native aboriginals dancing one day, he loudly said that he could dance with them cos he was the same colour as an 'addadinal' .

  • Lisa says:
    ' i think they should invent flying tvs"

  • Gemma says:
    the suns still up

  • Gina says:
    SHe cant really talk in sentences yet...but my nephew the other day came in with Jer my husband and they were talking about how jer got stung by a bee at work...my nephew says" were you trying to smack the bee off and it got Pi**ed off and stung you" Opsie dopsie now where do you suppose he heard that:)

  • Shari says:
    How about letting your child be a greeter at the church door and a very large women comes through the doors and he says "Hi there fat lady"

  • Torrie says:
    she doesnt talk yet, only up, what and dada

  • Whitney says:
    Nothing to report yet, we work VERY hard at not saying anything incriminating HAHA

  • divakaleigh says:
    see above

  • Autumn says:
    Let me set this up: went to Arby's...she ordered popcorn chicken, after we sat down she looked at her chicken, and said: "Is this the popcorn chicken?" I said :"yes" knowing what she was thinking....she looked at it again and said : "I don't see any popcorn"

  • Katie says:
    Having A Tantrum & Being Picked Up To Go To Bed Paige "Mumma Where We Go?!"

  • Tahnee says:
    Tristyn asked me loudly why a little kid at swimming lessons has a mom and a dad who looks like a mom and calls him/her self a mom. I whisper to Tristyn that they are both women and we will talk about it later. He wasn't satified he states loudly, "Jesus only wants Men and Women to Marry, and you can't have a child unless you are married!"

  • April says:
    My 3 year old Ethan saw a white goose one day and said "It's Afflack! Mom you need that."

  • Charlene says:
    I will have to come back to this later.

  • Anonymous says:
    Sadly, I can't remember.

  • synni says:
    holly is always saying silly things as she doesn't get sarcasm so a little thing like saying go jump in a lake can lead to all sorts of questions lol

  • Lesley says:
    lilly telling some one she did a steamer (a poo) disgusting

  • Ashley says:
    my moms at the damn bar lol

  • Cherie says:
    No More Tears shampoo. She hates washing her hair so her dad said when he was bathing her one night "it doesnt sting your eyes, see? No More Tears!" and showed her the bottle. So she grabs the bottle off him and points to it and says "no Daddy, it says stings my EYES!"

  • Becky says:
    as above

  • Amy says:
    "Mommy, did you see how big her butt was?!" as the lady is walking past us. lol

  • Kali-rae says:

  • Heather says:

  • REBECCA says:

  • Tricia says:
    "damn" at one when he stepped in a mud puddle

  • Chrystal says:
    again theres way too many to choose from!

  • Anonymous says:
    my daughter turnt round and sad guess what: daddy's my boyfriend and i'm going to marry him,lol.

  • Raylene says:
    kids say alot of things

  • Pamela says:
    he called his daddy a bitch

  • Stephanie says:
    The day she was learning how to climb down the stairs, she slipped on one of the steps and said "shit!" sorry best I got... afterall, she's only 1

  • Kristi says:
    my son doesnt talk yet so i dont have anything for this one yet.

  • Kim says:
    We spent 4th of July in Kansas one year and they were going to light fireworks off the dam. My 3 yr old was getting bored waiting and asked "Daddy when are they going to light off the damn fire works" That got a good laugh.

  • Crystal says:
    idk yet ask me later

  • Brittany says:
    He can't talk yet :)

  • Aleasha says:
    ... wouldnt hav a clue

  • Mary says:
    i dont thnk they have had any ye

  • Sian says:
    Nada yet..

  • zoe says:
    boys cant talk yet so im waiting for that one

  • Ashley says:
    Colin was looking at my wedding ring and asking what it was. I explained to him that Daddy gave it to me because he loves me and we are married. He then says, "Well I can't wait until I get married." I told him, "Yes, you are going to meet a wonderful girl and fall in love and get married someday." He looks confused for a minute and then says, "Well, what about a boy!" LOL! He obviously doesn't get it!

  • Anonymous says:
    Waiting to get the OK to buy abrand new car my youngest says to me, "Dad sure must love you to do this, cuz you ain't perty."....lol...

  • Candi says:
    Not really sure on this one yet

  • Annette says:
    My eldest burped once and looked to me and said "ooops mummy, my mouth just poofed!" (poof being a polite word for fart in our family)

  • Heather says:

  • Shannon says:
    Me: Trevor, time to go to school. Go give daddy kisses and bye byes. Dan: Bye buddy. I love you. Hey, Trevor...don't you love me? Trevor: Nope, Momma!!!

  • Becky says:
    This was more hilarious in person... My oldest son used to carry around a stuffed moose, called "moosie". Well one day, Moosie went on vacation. He kept asking about him and I kept reminding him he was on an airplane on his way to the beach on vacation. Then finally he quit asking me about him. One day, several months later, we were outside playing. He heard and airplane up above..looked up. The out of the blue he sticks one leg out further than the other and puts his hands on his hips and says " Mommy! That airplane won't drop my Moosie down!" ** it was so much more hilarious in person**

  • Karyn says:

  • Anonymous says:
    geez, too many of those.

  • Erin says:
    he hasn't mastered his vocabulary yet, we're working on seeing in color first..or maybe even a laugh, words will have to wait.

  • Rachael says:
    Only says Mum and Dad

  • stacey says:
    Both my kids don't really talk yet although Coban yells "Die" to everyone when they leave instead of "bye"

  • Erin says:
    Blake was in the bath playing with him self, and said that his testicles were his knuckles... lol

  • Jenny says:
    we were walking to church one day & both the boys (aged 4 & 5) picked up a stick & Brent (the eldest) said 'mummy this would be a good stick to hit us with when we are naughty'

  • Angel says:
    cant think of any right now

  • Brittany says:

  • Jean says:
    Ryder told a man that he had a fat head. Glad I wasn't there. :)

  • Anonymous says:
    My daughter said "Why is there a white bone in the ladies restroom garbage?" I said "bone?" Yes Mom, when I get older does a white bone come out of my body with red stuff on it? "Honey, that's a tampon.

  • Jennifer says:
    The only thing that comes to mind is when Kamryn wants to know what something is or what it's used for she says "This for guy". It's cute and I'm not sure where she came up with it.

  • Carly says:
    Today, Sienna was doing my hair. And she said "hold still" even though I wasn't moving. I just tend to say that alot when I am doing her hair.

  • Kristin says:
    Daddy said "Son of a" stopped right there and by 2 year old finished his sentence by saying "son of a beach"

  • Amanda says:
    my then 3 yr old boy went up to his Auntie who was also pregnant and said he knew where babies come out..Auntie said yep, out the belly button, Lachlan rolled his eyes and said u better learn better, they come out ur gina! I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself!

  • Karrin says:
    When I grow up mom I want to be a builder and hammers are my best part~ AVery. Mom we need new house this house is old~ FRank....

  • Courtney says:
    Lucky me, Brady doesn't talk well yet! :)

  • Michelle says:
    My son likes to say Must have got some bad gas, over and over again. It is from the movie Cars.

  • Amy says:
    Oh tarter sauce!

  • Kimberly says:
    can't think of any

  • Hayley says:

  • Kayla-Marie says:

  • Lisa says:
    yes then can

  • Kari says:

  • Anonymous says:
    "Nonner run away!"

  • Gemma says:
    He doesnt speak much yet!

  • Nicola says:
    bum bum thats it at the moment

  • Megan says:
    " "

  • Lisa says:

  • Alisha says:
    "Mommy why do my friends in school say SWEET when some one has more toys than them? That is not when you are supposed to say SWEET right? That is not SWEET! If I have more toys that is SWEET right?"

  • Elisha says:
    They both come up with so mny things, the best one would have to be when Andy was a year old and I got pulled over for going 6 mph over the speed limit and Andy kept callin the cop a pig...his dad had lil too much influence on him

  • Shawna says:

  • Robyn says:
    well I know Cory has said a lot of funny things, but the one that pops into my head is when I was pregnant with my third, his little sister, he's the oldest, I was about 3 or 4 months, and I wasn't showing at all, and he asked me if I was going to have the baby soon and I told him that I had to get big and fat... I was bout 130lbs at the time... he told me that I already was big and fat! And the one Christina (my daughter, 7 months old now) said was one morning I was laying in bed and she started fussing so I pulled her out of her playpen and brought her into my bed with me and started cuddling her... now at about 5 and a half months old, she clearly said "Go away mom" and pushed me away!

  • Kristin says:
    mom theres a robot in the river....lol

  • Jacqueline says:
    Having our son tell his grandfather infront of his pre-school teacher that he didn't need to come here to color all day he could do that a home.

  • Hannah says:
    they say alot of the darnest things..lol

  • Heidi says:
    one day Landon-Lee must of picked his nose..he said ..mom i have a boogie. My response was..ahhh, as I was looking around for a tissue,.. so he asks..Mom me put it in my mouth??? hey atleast he asked first..lol One day we were having spaghetti and meatballs for supper Kierra asks can I have more eyeballs...please?

  • Stephanie says:
    Here is a very good one. Ok so you know women have their monthly visit and crave chocolate right. Well me I'm not bog on chocolate and I hardly crave it around that time and I was a bit snappy as well. So anyway I was snappy at the kids and I told them both I was sorry but that Mommy was not feeling too well, so they both said they forgive me. Then a few hours go by and I'm eating some chocolate and Cameren walks in and says, "Mommy can I have some" I said no it's late maybe tomorrow. He then says " well why are you eating some then" I looked at him and said, because Mommy's going through a girl things and just needs it, you will understand what the means when you get older. He says "ok"... So then he goes to school, Daddy takes him cause I had to work. Anyway you have his female teacher and 2 other mom's standing there talking and they say good morning to Cameren. They ask Cameren how he was and he says I'm good and then his teacher asks him how mommy is doing and his response is this " Well she has been crabby and eating chocolate and says it's a girl thing" hahahahahahahaha. The ladies died and my husband stood there like OMG did you just say that. Funny thing is Cameren had perfect timing as the ladies were just talking about it themselves, per our conversation when I picked Cameren up, LOL!!!

  • Amanda says:
    My son has thesedrumsticks that came with little drum that he loves. Problem is, he refers to the drumsticks as "Dicks". LOL! ANd he wants to take them everywhere he goes! So we have to find away to hide them from him if we go somewhere because the last thingwe need is to be in the middle of the grocery store and he tries to show someone his drumstick but of course calls it the other word. LOL!

  • Gemma says:
    she cant talk properly yet but she does argue with me if i say no she says yes

  • Linda says:
    it was last night actually... I was cleaning up in the kitchen when Jeremy attacked me and started hgging and kissing on me to much protest let me assure you and Aurora comes in and goes "ewwww... oh never mind I want a little brother anyway" and walking out leaving both me and her father open mouthed and laughing. talk about your mood killer.

  • Heather says:
    A swim suit commercial came on TV and Austn looked at me and said " when you get skinny you can buy one like that" pointing to sh ultra thin girl in a 2 pc....

  • julie says:
    the day we were going to spend the day with my best friend jamie and her son jordan i told him when hegot up that he had to get ready to play with jordan and he say "Jordan drive me f*#@ing nuts" i laughed my butt of it was so funny i couldn't be appalled lol

  • Tashala says:
    My son loves to sing the waffle song

  • Kelly says:
    not speaking properly to enable this

  • Mariah says:
    My husband wa whining about something and I called him a big baby. Noah looked at me and said, "Dada's not a big baby, he's a big man."

  • darla says:
    There are soo many that I would get carpal tunnel typing all of them. Besides, I am going to tag all of my kids for this survey and, well, quite frankly ,they will be choosing my nursing home some day so I plead the 5th.....

  • Laura says:
    ? she doesn't talk yet.

  • Anonymous says:
    there are too many things he has said

  • Jennifer says:
    i want to hear lady gaga

  • Beth says:
    We wet to the doctor and hadnt been in forever... when the doctor came in and sat down on her rolly chair to examin him Carson shouted "wemewon" (leave me alone). I hadnt ever heard him put words together like that until then! He hates the doctor. But she laughed and laughed!

  • Chantell says:

  • Jeanie says:

  • Anonymous says:
    when he ask someone to sit. He says ""ass""!! When you take him to his potty he say ''pisss''. I know I need to correct it, but its cute to me.

  • Meghan says:
    only laughs so far

  • Katie says:
    not yet..

  • Laura says:
    Again, too many to list.

  • naza says:
    "you know...you should be more responsible cause you are an adult.Its ok with me..I'm still a kid"...well???

  • Jolene says:
    All you have to do is look at number 8.

  • Kerry says:
    When i ran out of 'cuddly' fabric softener she said i needed for 'Cuddles' from the shop.

  • Katie says:
    My girls were raised in the woods in Two Harbors, MN. When Tasha was about 3 or 4 we were in Saint Paul visiting family. We went to Cub in a predominately black neighborhood where the local football team was bagging groceries for tips as a fundraiser. We were checking out when she asked (very loudly) why there were so many black people there!!! They didn't look at her, they looked at me. I could have died.

  • Marta says:
    She wonders about pregnancy and said this..."mama, when I get bigger, I want a baby in my belly" omg!! lol

  • Katie says:
    She says so many funny things!!

  • patsy says:
    what the hell is that

  • Nicole says:
    When Alex told the girl at Radio Shack.."hey don't lose that butt cause I like big butts and I can not lie" he was only 3 at the time (thanks again uncle Ty and Rob)

  • Courtney says:
    he has only said mama and dada

  • Nadia says:

  • Melissa says:
    Ryan walked in on me getting dressed one morning. I was putting on my bra, he looked at me and gasped! "Oh! Boobies gone!" he said!

  • Jessica says:
    He can't talk yet lol.

  • janet says:
    not sure

  • Lacey says:
    well he jst babbbles he dont talk yet..

  • Tijuana says:
    Does goo goo, gaa gaa count??

  • Anonymous says:
    "Mom, if I decided I want to be Baptist and Catholic, that would make me Bap-tholic right"? My kid is nuts.............LMBO!

  • Jenny says:
    not yet relevant

  • Crystal says:
    (picture him holding his fists up sayin) "Do you want some of this?!" HAHA

  • Ericka says:
    hasn't really said much but maa.maa. da da baby....and hi

  • Jen says:
    When I had my hysterectomy my eldest told his friends "my mom was spayed like the dog"

  • Kirsty says:

  • Alyssa says:
    He doesn't really talk much yet....

  • Stefanie says:
    He can't talk yet lol

  • Tiffany says:
    Zai's (cursing) sayings!

  • Kym says:
    Michael has nonuts. ( donuts)

  • Megan says:
    Isaac say's Doc instead of Brock.

  • Nohblee says:
    Axel when saying belly button sticks his tongue in and out while pronouncing l's

  • Rachel says:
    Doesn't talk yet...although one of his first words was "meow"

  • Karen says:
    He doesn't talk yet, being 3 weeks old, but when he latches on to feed he'll often make this num num noise. Very cute

  • Janice says:
    My daughter was asked what sort of house do you live in and she replied very seriously "we live in a no house" meaning that all she ever heard was no you cn't do this or that. She was in preschool at the time

  • Emily says:
    O lord..i suppse the funniest thang she has said would b "Whatcha gonna do a/b it fatboy?" [she was wrestlin w/her pawpaw.]

  • Britney says:
    Alauna saying "Maliyah is not bob the builder mommy" after I said whats the prob bob to her.

  • Susan says:
    Haydn came running into the kitchen one day wanting me to follow him into the bathroom, when I asked why he very excitedly 'look mummy ! daddy painting his face!!' Dp was having a shave.

  • Sara says:
    she hasnt spoke yet ( too lil

  • Christina says:
    Elise found one of her brother's pacifiers when I was changing her diaper. She said, "This is a bink" & shoved it in her mouth! She hasn't used a bink in almost a year so it was pretty funny.

  • Melissa says:
    When we brought my youngest home from the hospital, I was changing his diaper and Wyatt said, " MOMMY BRODY HAS A PEE-PEE.. YA.. RIGHT THERE!" lol

  • Anastasia says:
    Mummy your not funny, but I still love you, sometimes, ha ha.

  • Megan says:
    Morgan just said the cutest thing she is such a mother hen!! Mom Macie doesn't know any better, she's just a little baby

  • Kristi says:
    I don't have no right now

  • Karen says:
    I Love you mummy....Can we get married

  • Amy says:
    It was on Easter Morning and my daughter just got a new Dora tricycle. We were taking pictures of her on the tricycle and she wanted the camera so she takes the camera and put it in the basket on the front. While she is putting the camera in the basket she says " I need to put this in here for keepsake". It's not the funniest thing in the world but to me it is because she is always saying things that a 3yr old normally wouldn't.

  • Heidie says:
    He likes to call me Mommba! lol

  • Ashley says:
    Not yet..

  • alicia says:
    stop it!?

  • Julie says:

  • Angela says:
    jake says i pooped

  • Michele says:
    Driving to CA for my husband's job my daughter said "Mom, we have a situation here" when her seat-belt 'suddenly' became unbuckled! LOL

  • Lynn says:
    Carly says mommy when I get little I'll be able to wear sissy's clothes why I was dressing Megan one day bc she liked Meggie's outfit.

  • Vanessa says:
    well we told Sheyenne to find her lil brothers paci and i guess she had been lookin and couldn't find it and we had reminded her again to look for it and she said, " i can't find Juan Juan's paci, u find it!" lol

  • Crystal says:
    she isnt saying to much english but she calles her stuff animal "baby"